A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the wicked, wicked late update!! Blame AOL
and then my apparent not wanting to do anything!! OK so I'm a little lazy .
. . that's life! Well here is the next chapter of my story and one of my
favorite characters is back! I love it! I really hope you all enjoy this
because there is a scene in which I had way too much fun writing!! I would
like to congratulate NANA for being the only person to figure out that the
movie Sydney was watching in the chapter that she and Vaughn finally get
together in, WAS her comfort film though I never planned it that way!
Please read and review as always and remember that I own nothing. Anything
that is mentioned (such as films) I don't own . . . the ones in here are
mainly the ones that I happen to have just watched or were currently
watching as I wrote the chapters. Does that even make sense? ANYWAYS . . .
I completely recommend any of the films that I mention because I NEVER
mention films I don't like (I'm a film major, could you tell?!). Well I
hope you enjoy and thanks for dealing with my incessant ramblings . . . HEY
I JUST REMEBERED!!! ON THE JANUARY 12th EPISODE OF ALIAS . . . WEISS IS
COMING BACK!!!! I CAN'T WAIT! Read and REVIEW as always!!! Lots of Love -
Secret Agent Girl
CHAPTER 3 - THE ONE PERSON SHE NEEDED MOST
By April you could tell that she was pregnant. Sydney's students were all very supportive, especially when she would have to take frequent bathroom trips and have sudden mood swings. She despised her appearance on all levels most days and she hated it even more that Vaughn loved every moment of it. A gigantic smile would appear on his face every time he would look at his wife and it would only grow wider as he would place his hand on her stomach and feel his child move. Even now he found it amazing and wonderful, though Sydney's amazement of it was slightly dampened.
The first time it had happened it had been in early March and Sydney was standing in front of her 4th period Junior English Class discussing the finer points the third act of Othello. She had just gotten to the discussion about how each third act is that of most importance in Shakespeare's plays when she felt it. It was an amazing feeling. A look passed over her face and one of her students noticed right away. "Mrs. Vaughn, are you ok?" The young girl had asked.
"Yeah, Julie, I'm fine. Thanks. Ok, I, ah, I need to step out for a moment, read act 4 quietly please!!" Sydney spoke with a rushed tone and left the room quickly. Lucky for her, 4th period was Vaughn's free period and she rushed into the teacher's room to find him sitting alone huddled over a bunch of papers.
"Sydney? What's wrong!?" Vaughn stood quickly as she rushed in and over to him.
"Shh." She grabbed his hand and placed it on the curve of her stomach.
A smile lit up his face as he felt the small kick. "Oh my God. It moved."
"Yeah, it did." She smiled as tears glistened in her eyes.
Now, as April vacation drew near, the baby moved more and more and Sydney would become slightly uncomfortable when the baby would start up in the middle of class or in the middle of the night. There was no question on whether or not this kid had her strength.
Despite her monthly visit to LA, Sydney hadn't seen her father since telling him she was pregnant. Every time she was in LA her father was always stuck in a meeting or out of town. He would call once a week to check up on her so he knew about everything that was going on, but Sydney missed her father nonetheless. So when Vaughn's April meeting approached, Sydney made plans to have lunch with him.
They entered headquarters together and after a quick goodbye and a promise that she would keep her phone on and by her side at ALL times, Sydney and Vaughn parted, he on his way to his meeting and she to her father's office.
She approached his secretary's desk, expecting to find a new person with whom she would have to deal with and convince of her status, only to find the same person she had spoken to in January. "Hi. Is Jack Bristow in?" Sydney asked a smile across her face.
"Oh, I'm sorry Mrs. Vaughn, he's in a meeting." The young woman replied brightly.
"Could you tell me with whom?" Sydney prayed that her father had informed the girl of Sydney's status and clearance, she did not want to go through another argument with a secretary as to the location of her father.
"Um . . ." She checked her computer quickly before turning back to Sydney. "Irena Derevko."
Sydney smiled slightly and walked away. "Damn it." She muttered under her breath as she walked towards the holding cells.
She would admit it now, she had been avoiding spending long amounts of time in the CIA headquarters for this exact reason, she didn't want her mother to know about the baby. After what happened when her mother had found out about her and Vaughn's wedding, she didn't want to imagine what Irena Derevko would try to pull so that she could be involved some how in the child's life. She neared the cells and saw her father standing there, severe as always, listening to the voice of her mother.
"And that's everything I know."
"Good." Jack was about to turn away when Irena spoke again.
"Now there's something I want to know." Jack turned and looked her directly in the eye. "I want to know how Sydney is doing."
"I am not under any agreement to tell you a damn thing. Especially when it concerns my daughter."
"*Our* daughter."
"*NO*, *my* daughter. You stopped being her mother the day you left." Jack countered.
"I want to know how my daughter is doing, that's it." Irena stayed completely calm.
Sydney could see her father was about to explode and she didn't want to attempt to have lunch with him if he was going to be in an angry mood, and any conversation with Irena Derevko could put anyone in a foul mood. She took a deep breath and took the final steps so that she was finally in her mother's sight. "I'm fine." She refused to make eye contact with her mother, fearful of what would happen if she did so, so instead she kept her gaze on her father. "You almost finished here Dad?"
Jack had turned the moment his daughter's voice had rung out and he smiled at her now. "Yes, I'm done here." The both turned to leave when a calm voice spoke.
"When are you due?"
"Excuse me?" Sydney turned back to her mother quickly.
"When are you due?" Irena repeated slowly.
"Why do you care?" Sydney's voice was cold and full of hatred.
"Because I am your mother."
Jack saw Sydney's face redden and tried to get her to leave, but she shrugged off the hand he laid on her shoulder. "Look, we've already had this conversation. *You* are not my mother. I am due in August and just to answer that other question that I know you are going to ask before I leave; we've decided to be surprised. If you even think about . . . I don't . . . just don't think about doing anything!" She turned and walked quickly passed her father and out of the holding area as her hormones took over and a steady stream of tears began to fall down her cheeks.
She refused to stop until, just as they reached the main floor of the headquarters, Jack placed a hand on her shoulder and she stopped immediately. "Sydney?" she breathed deeply and controlled her crying. "Do you want me to go get Mike?" He was deeply worried about his daughter and he knew that id she needed to speak with anyone the best person would be Vaughn.
"No." She shook her head as wiped the tears from her face. "No. He's in a meeting and this is just me being hormonal. Let's just go to lunch. Ok?" She looked at her father, who shook his head softly and led her out of the building to his car.
When his meeting was over, Vaughn picked up his cell phone as he entered his office and dialed Sydney's phone. He let it ring 12 times before he hung up, fear beginning to build as he tried her phone one more time, just to be sure. When there was still no answer, he began to panic and quickly dialed Jack's phone. "Jack Bristow."
"JACK! It's Mike! Where's Sydney?! I've tried her cell phone twice now!" he was frantic.
"Calm down, calm down. She's in my office with me. She's asleep right now and her phone must be buried in her purse."
"Ok. Ok. I'll be right there." Vaughn hung up quickly and raced from his office. When he reached Jack's office he completely ignored the frantic secretary and burst through the doors, he needed to be sure that she was OK.
"Like I said, she's in here." Jack looked up at his son in law and pointed to the chair in the corner of the office where Vaughn found Sydney in an odd half curled position, her stomach making it hard for her to completely curl up in the chair, fast asleep.
Vaughn rushed over to her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Syd? Sydney?" He spoke quietly.
She stirred and opened her eyes, her gaze instantly falling on the bright green eyes in front of her, filled with concern. "Hi." She smiled innocently at him.
"Hi. Are you ok? I got so scared when you didn't answer your cell." He kept his voice soft but filled with concern.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah I'm ok. Rough morning."
Vaughn was about to inquire further when Jack stepped in. "You should be getting home." Sydney nodded, understanding her father's concern, and with Vaughn's help, stood and went to embrace her father.
"Thank you so much for today Daddy."
"My pleasure." Jack hugged her tightly. He kissed her cheek and then held his hand out to Vaughn. "See you next month."
"You'll have to come and visit soon, Jack." Vaughn spoke as he shook Jack's hand.
They left Jack's office, Vaughn's hand on the small of Sydney's back as he guided her to the car. They both entered and Vaughn turned the car on but kept it in park. He turned to Sydney, his face full of concern. "Are you sure you're ok?" He placed his hand on her neck and rubbed it lightly.
"Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."
"What happened?"
"My dad, he was in a meeting and I went to get him and of course he was talking to *her* and she just *had* to get into a fight with him about me. So *trying* to help him out, I mean I didn't want to have a lunch with a ticked off Jack Bristow, I'm not a masochist, I let her see me so of *course* she just *had* to ask me questions and *then* had the *audacity* to call herself my mother. I just . . ." She broke down into tears and Vaughn leaned over to hold her.
"Shh. It's ok. I promise to make it so that if she does anything to hurt you she will wish she never turned herself in. Shh." He soothed her and she calmed down and stopped crying almost as quickly as she started.
"Thank you." She smiled. "Damn hormones." She giggled lightly and he kissed her softly.
"I know. Come on, we'll stop at Friendly's on the way home." Her face lit up and she laughed fully.
"Ok!"
After that encounter with her mother, Sydney received several nondescript envelopes in the mail, all in the same writing as the letter she had received 2 months before her wedding. Each envelope was kept sealed and put in a box where Vaughn wouldn't see them. By the time it was June, Sydney had collected a total of 13 letters.
Vaughn's June meeting fell on the same weekend of their 1st anniversary. Vaughn had wanted to take Sydney away but as she was in her 7th month, traveling long distances was out of the question. So instead they opted for a weekend in LA, at a hotel, where they could just relax and not worry about much at all. Classes had finished for the year and the only thing left for them to do was wait for the baby.
The nursery had been completed in April, painted a soft yellow with scenes from A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, placed in different spots along the walls. The furniture in the room was a mix of old and new pieces, ranging from Vaughn's old crib and an old antique rocking chair from Sydney's grandmother, to the new changing table and electric swing.
Sydney stood packing her bag for their weekend trip when Vaughn came in and demanded for her to rest. "Sydney, what in the world are you doing?"
"Uh, Packing. What does it look like I'm doing?" She replied sarcastically as she placed a shirt in her bag. Vaughn had gotten into the habit of refusing to allow her to do almost anything for herself.
"Well stop! You should be resting! I can do this!"
"Michael, I am having a baby not dieing. I am perfectly capable of packing an over night bag." She told him as she placed several more items in the bag.
"Please, Syd. Just let me . . ."
"VAUGHN!" She was getting annoyed. "Back the *HELL* off!" She was a lot harsher than she had meant to be but between her hormones and the discomfort that she was feeling more and more each day, it was becoming even easier than ever before to irate her, though she often forced herself to revert to her skills as an agent to calm herself. She took a deep breath and turned to her husband who had backed away immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I can handle this, ok? I'm sorry, Michael, but I need to do this so I don't feel completely incapacitated."
He nodded and backed away, allowing her to finish, as he packed his own bag. They worked in silence until Vaughn saw Sydney bend over and place a hand on her lower back, in obvious large amounts of discomfort. "Syd? What's wrong?" He rushed to her side and helped her sit down on the bed.
"I'm fine. My back is just killing me." He placed a hand on her back and began to rub circles into it. She leaned against his shoulder and a soft moan escaped her lips. "Thank you. That feels wonderful." He smiled at her and she laughed.
He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Are you sure you still want to go?"
"Of course! Don't be silly, I'm going to be fine." She smiled and he stood and finished packing for the both of them.
He didn't know why, but Sydney had said she wanted to join him at headquarters. She told him that she could use his computer to check her e- mail, or look up more baby names (since they had very few choices so far) or she could visit her father, anything to keep her from just sitting around the hotel room, bored. Both Francie and Will were really busy and she didn't want to intrude. Her intentions, however, had never been to do any of those things. After Vaughn left for his meeting, Sydney grabbed her purse and made her way down the hallway to the elevator that would take her to the holding cells.
At 7 months, it was becoming harder for her to walk and her back pain was increasing more and more, but she had to do this. She reached the cell; her mother was meditating in the center, her back to Sydney. Sydney opened the deposit box and reached into her purse, extracting the 13 unopened letters and placed them inside the box.
"It has been incredibly difficult living without my mother." Tears were starting to build in Sydney's eyes as her mother turned to face her. "My entire life I have always had to deal with not having one. When everyone else was always talking about how their mom's would take them shopping, I had to sit back and listen knowing I could never tell those stories. But this past year has been all the more difficult. I had to go through my wedding without my mother and now I am going through my first pregnancy without her. Mike's mother has been amazing. She had been there for me in everyway that a mother should be and there isn't enough ways for me to repay her for the love and kindness she had shown me, but she isn't my mother. She isn't the woman who used to read me stories on the couch as we waited for Dad to come home, or start food fights with me when she would manage to actually get me to help her cook. I would have loved nothing more that to have had my mother with me this past year, to have helped me through everything." She stopped and looked at her mother as Irena rose to stand in front of Sydney. "But the fact is, my mother left when I was 6. No matter how much I wish you were her, you just aren't. After finding out about everything that you did, the person you truly are, you'll never be the same person to me again." Tears were now streaming down her face and she made no move to stop them. "If Dad or Mike knew I was down here, they would freak, but this is something I need to do." She looked at the deposit box pointedly and Irena opened her side and extracted the letters.
"You didn't even open them." The statement was simple but the voice behind them held great emotion. It was filled with pain and longing.
"No, I didn't." Her mother simply stared at her. If Sydney looked hard enough she would have seen the slightest hint of tears. "I need you to stop writing those, because every time I get one, I just miss my mother more and you're just not her. I wish you were but you'll never be Laura Bristow again. Please stop trying to be."
Sydney turned to leave when a voice caused her to stop. The pain and the longing had vanished and an almost sinister tone replaced them. "I may not be Laura but I am still your mother and in August I will still be a grandmother."
Sydney turned back to her and placed a hand over her stomach, as if to shield her child from what was happening. "No. This child only has one grandmother, Brigitte Vaughn. And thanks to you Dad will be the only grandfather it will ever know. I will never forgive you for that. You will never know this baby. To this child, and frankly to everyone else, you don't exist."
Sydney turned and walked away, keeping her composure until she entered Vaughn's office again. Once she closed the door, she allowed herself to break down. She curled up, as much as she could, in Vaughn's oversized leather chair and began to cry.
By the time Vaughn entered his office, Sydney had fallen asleep, though the tracks from her tears could still be seen. He opened the door, expecting to see her on his computer or talking on the phone. "Hey." He spoke as he entered only to find her asleep, though her face glistened with tears. He knew right away that she had done the one thing he hoped she wouldn't; she had gone to see her mother.
He walked over to her and softly wiped the tears from her face. She barely stirred. He kissed the top of her head gently and quietly walked back out the door. After a quick word with his secretary, he headed to the elevators.
His reflection glared back slightly as he glared past the glass at the cold eyes before him. There was no hint of emotion in them. "What did you do to her?" his voice was cold, forceful and deep.
"That's quite an accusation. What makes you think I did anything to anyone, especially since I've been in this cell for years?" Irena was cool and collected and he could see right past it.
"Don't play dumb with me. We both know that you're extremely intelligent and you know what I'm talking about. I what to know what you did to make her break down."
"I did nothing. Pregnant women are often emotional, Mr. Vaughn. After 7 months, I'd think you'd know that." She was trying very hard to get to him. But he knew he had to be strong, for both his sake and Sydney's.
"Fine. You don't feel like sharing, fine. Just know that if I find out you have done anything, and I mean *anything*, else to make her have a melt down, especially in these last two months, I'll make sure the only comfort you have is the occasional trip to the bathroom." He glared at her profusely and turned and left.
He returned to his office to find her awake and on the phone. He entered and smiled as she waved to him as she talked. "No, I planned on stopping by later anyways . . . No I'm sure . . . Yeah . . . Ok . . . Like an hour? . . . Ok . . . Love you too . . . Give Fran a hug . . . See you then . . . Bye." She hung up and turned to him. "Hi."
"Hey. Will?" He asked nodding to the phone.
"Yeah. Just letting him know we'll be by the restaurant in a while."
"Ok. You ready?"
"Yeah, I just want to stop by my dad's office first. He'd kill me if he knew I was here all day and didn't . . ." She stopped when she realized that she had told Vaughn she was going to see him today while he was in his meeting, thus the reasons for going to headquarters. "I-I mean . . ."
"Don't worry, Syd. I know where you went today, and while I don't think it was good for you considering you must have spent a good long while crying to fall asleep like you did, I'm not mad. So come on, let's go see your dad and then we'll go to Francie's. I'm starving."
"How did you?" She asked as she stood.
"I came in here about 20 minutes ago while you were still sleeping and then I paid her a visit myself." He took her hand and led her towards Jack's office.
"Oh." She spoke softly, not really knowing what to say to him. When they reached Jack's secretary she smiled at the woman. "Hi. Is my dad in?"
"Yes he is. You go here just in time, he's about to leave for a meeting."
"Well, we won't be long. Thank you." Sydney smiled as her and Vaughn walked towards Jack's office. "Probably going to a meeting with the Pope." Sydney joked.
"The Pope?" Vaughn asked, smiling at her ability to put it all behind her and smile.
"Well you never know with my dad." She replied as they entered the office.
"Yes. Tell Derevko I'll be down in a few minutes." Jack spoke into the phone.
"Well we were close." Sydney smiled.
"How is that close?" Vaughn questioned.
"Ok, well opposite. We thought Pope when in reality it's the spawn of Satan. But they are both like second command to a high being." Sydney giggled as Vaughn laughed and Jack hung up the phone. "Hi Dad."
"Sydney, Mike, how are you feeling?" Jack walked over and hugged his daughter.
"I'm fine Dad. A little anxious for August, but fine nonetheless." She smiled at him.
"Well, it'll be here soon enough and then you'll wish for the days when it was just the two of you." He smiled and turned to Vaughn. "How are you holding up?"
"Me? I'm fine." Vaughn shook Jack's hand.
"You driving her nuts yet?" Jack joked.
"Yes!" Sydney replied right away causing them all to laugh.
"Well, I remember doing the same thing. All first time fathers' do. It's our jobs." He smiled.
"Great." Sydney mused. "Well, we're going to see Will and Francie and I'm sure you're excited to get to your meeting." She smiled.
"Yes, I'm just brimming with anticipation." Jack kept a straight face. "Ok, well I will see you all later." Jack hugged his daughter again and shook Vaughn's hand once more.
Sydney and Vaughn left the restaurant an hour or so later and returned to their hotel room. Sydney was absolutely exhausted. "Sorry we had to cut the visit short. I'm just so . . ." She yawned loudly.
Vaughn smiled as he sat down next to her on the bed, rubbing her lower back. "It's ok. I understand."
"Mmm." She moaned slightly as he rubbed her back. "You still going to do that after I have the baby?"
"I dunno. Depends on how nice you are to me." He smiled and kissed her.
"I'm sorry." She said as she pulled her away and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"For . . ."
"Well it's our anniversary but I'm so far along that we can't . . ."
"Syd." He cut her off. "It's ok, really." He kissed her temple and breathed in the scent of her hair. "I still love you."
"I love you, too."
"Come on, get into your most comfortable pjs and we'll order room service, since we never did eat at Francie's, and watch movies."
She smiled and nodded as she stood. "Sounds good to me!"
She sat in a pair of pj shorts and an oversized t-shirt having just finished her meal when she suddenly jumped up form the floor, alarming Vaughn who was seated next to her as they decided on the next movie. "I hate this!" She exclaimed as she walked to her suitcase.
"What? What's wrong?" Vaughn asked as he stood and walked over to her.
"THIS!" She pulled out a pair of pj pants and switched her shorts for them. "It's June, in LA, and I'm freezing! One minute I'm hot the next I'm cold! UH!" She threw her hands in the air. "It needs to be August."
He laughed as he walked to her and kissed her forehead. "Hmm."
"It's not funny!" She insisted. "I'm really uncomfortable."
"I know babe. And I wish I could fix that problem, but I can't."
"I know." She sighed and leaned up against him as his hands moved down to her lower back and began to massage it. "You always do that."
"What?"
"Rub my back. It never fails. When I'm upset or give even the slightest indication that I'm even remotely uncomfortable you automatically rub my back."
"Would you rather I not?" He joked.
"No. I love it." She smiled into his chest. "I just hope that after I have the baby you'll keep it up, whether I'm nice or not."
He chuckled and they walked to the bed. "So what do you want to watch next?"
"Hmmm." She looked at the Pay-Per-View menu. "I'm feeling like a good old movie."
"Well." He scanned the list before stopping. "Got it! 'All the President's Men'."
"A detective thriller? Seriously?"
"Yeah! Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Nixon getting busted . . . its good stuff!"
She smiled at his excitement. "What the heck, let's watch it." She smiled and snuggled up to him as he wrapped an arm around her, his hand resting on her stomach.
He smiled as he felt a little kick. "Our future NHL MVP is awake."
She laughed at his remark. "Yup. That they are."
"It doesn't hurt you, does it?" He asked full of concern.
"Not when they're kicking there instead of oh, my rib cage or kidneys." She smiled. "No. It's fine."
"Hmm." He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "I can't wait to hold this kid."
"Me neither." She kissed him gently before turning back to the TV. "Me neither."
A/N: Sorry again that it took so long. Stupid AOL. But I'm getting rid of AOL as of next Friday so it will be easier for me to update. I've had to use internet explorer AND AOL, such a pain! Well I hoped you enjoyed it and that it's not getting too icky for ya! By the way, next chapter is the baby chapter. Still open to name suggestions! Send me love please! - Secret Agent Girl
CHAPTER 3 - THE ONE PERSON SHE NEEDED MOST
By April you could tell that she was pregnant. Sydney's students were all very supportive, especially when she would have to take frequent bathroom trips and have sudden mood swings. She despised her appearance on all levels most days and she hated it even more that Vaughn loved every moment of it. A gigantic smile would appear on his face every time he would look at his wife and it would only grow wider as he would place his hand on her stomach and feel his child move. Even now he found it amazing and wonderful, though Sydney's amazement of it was slightly dampened.
The first time it had happened it had been in early March and Sydney was standing in front of her 4th period Junior English Class discussing the finer points the third act of Othello. She had just gotten to the discussion about how each third act is that of most importance in Shakespeare's plays when she felt it. It was an amazing feeling. A look passed over her face and one of her students noticed right away. "Mrs. Vaughn, are you ok?" The young girl had asked.
"Yeah, Julie, I'm fine. Thanks. Ok, I, ah, I need to step out for a moment, read act 4 quietly please!!" Sydney spoke with a rushed tone and left the room quickly. Lucky for her, 4th period was Vaughn's free period and she rushed into the teacher's room to find him sitting alone huddled over a bunch of papers.
"Sydney? What's wrong!?" Vaughn stood quickly as she rushed in and over to him.
"Shh." She grabbed his hand and placed it on the curve of her stomach.
A smile lit up his face as he felt the small kick. "Oh my God. It moved."
"Yeah, it did." She smiled as tears glistened in her eyes.
Now, as April vacation drew near, the baby moved more and more and Sydney would become slightly uncomfortable when the baby would start up in the middle of class or in the middle of the night. There was no question on whether or not this kid had her strength.
Despite her monthly visit to LA, Sydney hadn't seen her father since telling him she was pregnant. Every time she was in LA her father was always stuck in a meeting or out of town. He would call once a week to check up on her so he knew about everything that was going on, but Sydney missed her father nonetheless. So when Vaughn's April meeting approached, Sydney made plans to have lunch with him.
They entered headquarters together and after a quick goodbye and a promise that she would keep her phone on and by her side at ALL times, Sydney and Vaughn parted, he on his way to his meeting and she to her father's office.
She approached his secretary's desk, expecting to find a new person with whom she would have to deal with and convince of her status, only to find the same person she had spoken to in January. "Hi. Is Jack Bristow in?" Sydney asked a smile across her face.
"Oh, I'm sorry Mrs. Vaughn, he's in a meeting." The young woman replied brightly.
"Could you tell me with whom?" Sydney prayed that her father had informed the girl of Sydney's status and clearance, she did not want to go through another argument with a secretary as to the location of her father.
"Um . . ." She checked her computer quickly before turning back to Sydney. "Irena Derevko."
Sydney smiled slightly and walked away. "Damn it." She muttered under her breath as she walked towards the holding cells.
She would admit it now, she had been avoiding spending long amounts of time in the CIA headquarters for this exact reason, she didn't want her mother to know about the baby. After what happened when her mother had found out about her and Vaughn's wedding, she didn't want to imagine what Irena Derevko would try to pull so that she could be involved some how in the child's life. She neared the cells and saw her father standing there, severe as always, listening to the voice of her mother.
"And that's everything I know."
"Good." Jack was about to turn away when Irena spoke again.
"Now there's something I want to know." Jack turned and looked her directly in the eye. "I want to know how Sydney is doing."
"I am not under any agreement to tell you a damn thing. Especially when it concerns my daughter."
"*Our* daughter."
"*NO*, *my* daughter. You stopped being her mother the day you left." Jack countered.
"I want to know how my daughter is doing, that's it." Irena stayed completely calm.
Sydney could see her father was about to explode and she didn't want to attempt to have lunch with him if he was going to be in an angry mood, and any conversation with Irena Derevko could put anyone in a foul mood. She took a deep breath and took the final steps so that she was finally in her mother's sight. "I'm fine." She refused to make eye contact with her mother, fearful of what would happen if she did so, so instead she kept her gaze on her father. "You almost finished here Dad?"
Jack had turned the moment his daughter's voice had rung out and he smiled at her now. "Yes, I'm done here." The both turned to leave when a calm voice spoke.
"When are you due?"
"Excuse me?" Sydney turned back to her mother quickly.
"When are you due?" Irena repeated slowly.
"Why do you care?" Sydney's voice was cold and full of hatred.
"Because I am your mother."
Jack saw Sydney's face redden and tried to get her to leave, but she shrugged off the hand he laid on her shoulder. "Look, we've already had this conversation. *You* are not my mother. I am due in August and just to answer that other question that I know you are going to ask before I leave; we've decided to be surprised. If you even think about . . . I don't . . . just don't think about doing anything!" She turned and walked quickly passed her father and out of the holding area as her hormones took over and a steady stream of tears began to fall down her cheeks.
She refused to stop until, just as they reached the main floor of the headquarters, Jack placed a hand on her shoulder and she stopped immediately. "Sydney?" she breathed deeply and controlled her crying. "Do you want me to go get Mike?" He was deeply worried about his daughter and he knew that id she needed to speak with anyone the best person would be Vaughn.
"No." She shook her head as wiped the tears from her face. "No. He's in a meeting and this is just me being hormonal. Let's just go to lunch. Ok?" She looked at her father, who shook his head softly and led her out of the building to his car.
When his meeting was over, Vaughn picked up his cell phone as he entered his office and dialed Sydney's phone. He let it ring 12 times before he hung up, fear beginning to build as he tried her phone one more time, just to be sure. When there was still no answer, he began to panic and quickly dialed Jack's phone. "Jack Bristow."
"JACK! It's Mike! Where's Sydney?! I've tried her cell phone twice now!" he was frantic.
"Calm down, calm down. She's in my office with me. She's asleep right now and her phone must be buried in her purse."
"Ok. Ok. I'll be right there." Vaughn hung up quickly and raced from his office. When he reached Jack's office he completely ignored the frantic secretary and burst through the doors, he needed to be sure that she was OK.
"Like I said, she's in here." Jack looked up at his son in law and pointed to the chair in the corner of the office where Vaughn found Sydney in an odd half curled position, her stomach making it hard for her to completely curl up in the chair, fast asleep.
Vaughn rushed over to her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Syd? Sydney?" He spoke quietly.
She stirred and opened her eyes, her gaze instantly falling on the bright green eyes in front of her, filled with concern. "Hi." She smiled innocently at him.
"Hi. Are you ok? I got so scared when you didn't answer your cell." He kept his voice soft but filled with concern.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah I'm ok. Rough morning."
Vaughn was about to inquire further when Jack stepped in. "You should be getting home." Sydney nodded, understanding her father's concern, and with Vaughn's help, stood and went to embrace her father.
"Thank you so much for today Daddy."
"My pleasure." Jack hugged her tightly. He kissed her cheek and then held his hand out to Vaughn. "See you next month."
"You'll have to come and visit soon, Jack." Vaughn spoke as he shook Jack's hand.
They left Jack's office, Vaughn's hand on the small of Sydney's back as he guided her to the car. They both entered and Vaughn turned the car on but kept it in park. He turned to Sydney, his face full of concern. "Are you sure you're ok?" He placed his hand on her neck and rubbed it lightly.
"Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."
"What happened?"
"My dad, he was in a meeting and I went to get him and of course he was talking to *her* and she just *had* to get into a fight with him about me. So *trying* to help him out, I mean I didn't want to have a lunch with a ticked off Jack Bristow, I'm not a masochist, I let her see me so of *course* she just *had* to ask me questions and *then* had the *audacity* to call herself my mother. I just . . ." She broke down into tears and Vaughn leaned over to hold her.
"Shh. It's ok. I promise to make it so that if she does anything to hurt you she will wish she never turned herself in. Shh." He soothed her and she calmed down and stopped crying almost as quickly as she started.
"Thank you." She smiled. "Damn hormones." She giggled lightly and he kissed her softly.
"I know. Come on, we'll stop at Friendly's on the way home." Her face lit up and she laughed fully.
"Ok!"
After that encounter with her mother, Sydney received several nondescript envelopes in the mail, all in the same writing as the letter she had received 2 months before her wedding. Each envelope was kept sealed and put in a box where Vaughn wouldn't see them. By the time it was June, Sydney had collected a total of 13 letters.
Vaughn's June meeting fell on the same weekend of their 1st anniversary. Vaughn had wanted to take Sydney away but as she was in her 7th month, traveling long distances was out of the question. So instead they opted for a weekend in LA, at a hotel, where they could just relax and not worry about much at all. Classes had finished for the year and the only thing left for them to do was wait for the baby.
The nursery had been completed in April, painted a soft yellow with scenes from A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, placed in different spots along the walls. The furniture in the room was a mix of old and new pieces, ranging from Vaughn's old crib and an old antique rocking chair from Sydney's grandmother, to the new changing table and electric swing.
Sydney stood packing her bag for their weekend trip when Vaughn came in and demanded for her to rest. "Sydney, what in the world are you doing?"
"Uh, Packing. What does it look like I'm doing?" She replied sarcastically as she placed a shirt in her bag. Vaughn had gotten into the habit of refusing to allow her to do almost anything for herself.
"Well stop! You should be resting! I can do this!"
"Michael, I am having a baby not dieing. I am perfectly capable of packing an over night bag." She told him as she placed several more items in the bag.
"Please, Syd. Just let me . . ."
"VAUGHN!" She was getting annoyed. "Back the *HELL* off!" She was a lot harsher than she had meant to be but between her hormones and the discomfort that she was feeling more and more each day, it was becoming even easier than ever before to irate her, though she often forced herself to revert to her skills as an agent to calm herself. She took a deep breath and turned to her husband who had backed away immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I can handle this, ok? I'm sorry, Michael, but I need to do this so I don't feel completely incapacitated."
He nodded and backed away, allowing her to finish, as he packed his own bag. They worked in silence until Vaughn saw Sydney bend over and place a hand on her lower back, in obvious large amounts of discomfort. "Syd? What's wrong?" He rushed to her side and helped her sit down on the bed.
"I'm fine. My back is just killing me." He placed a hand on her back and began to rub circles into it. She leaned against his shoulder and a soft moan escaped her lips. "Thank you. That feels wonderful." He smiled at her and she laughed.
He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Are you sure you still want to go?"
"Of course! Don't be silly, I'm going to be fine." She smiled and he stood and finished packing for the both of them.
He didn't know why, but Sydney had said she wanted to join him at headquarters. She told him that she could use his computer to check her e- mail, or look up more baby names (since they had very few choices so far) or she could visit her father, anything to keep her from just sitting around the hotel room, bored. Both Francie and Will were really busy and she didn't want to intrude. Her intentions, however, had never been to do any of those things. After Vaughn left for his meeting, Sydney grabbed her purse and made her way down the hallway to the elevator that would take her to the holding cells.
At 7 months, it was becoming harder for her to walk and her back pain was increasing more and more, but she had to do this. She reached the cell; her mother was meditating in the center, her back to Sydney. Sydney opened the deposit box and reached into her purse, extracting the 13 unopened letters and placed them inside the box.
"It has been incredibly difficult living without my mother." Tears were starting to build in Sydney's eyes as her mother turned to face her. "My entire life I have always had to deal with not having one. When everyone else was always talking about how their mom's would take them shopping, I had to sit back and listen knowing I could never tell those stories. But this past year has been all the more difficult. I had to go through my wedding without my mother and now I am going through my first pregnancy without her. Mike's mother has been amazing. She had been there for me in everyway that a mother should be and there isn't enough ways for me to repay her for the love and kindness she had shown me, but she isn't my mother. She isn't the woman who used to read me stories on the couch as we waited for Dad to come home, or start food fights with me when she would manage to actually get me to help her cook. I would have loved nothing more that to have had my mother with me this past year, to have helped me through everything." She stopped and looked at her mother as Irena rose to stand in front of Sydney. "But the fact is, my mother left when I was 6. No matter how much I wish you were her, you just aren't. After finding out about everything that you did, the person you truly are, you'll never be the same person to me again." Tears were now streaming down her face and she made no move to stop them. "If Dad or Mike knew I was down here, they would freak, but this is something I need to do." She looked at the deposit box pointedly and Irena opened her side and extracted the letters.
"You didn't even open them." The statement was simple but the voice behind them held great emotion. It was filled with pain and longing.
"No, I didn't." Her mother simply stared at her. If Sydney looked hard enough she would have seen the slightest hint of tears. "I need you to stop writing those, because every time I get one, I just miss my mother more and you're just not her. I wish you were but you'll never be Laura Bristow again. Please stop trying to be."
Sydney turned to leave when a voice caused her to stop. The pain and the longing had vanished and an almost sinister tone replaced them. "I may not be Laura but I am still your mother and in August I will still be a grandmother."
Sydney turned back to her and placed a hand over her stomach, as if to shield her child from what was happening. "No. This child only has one grandmother, Brigitte Vaughn. And thanks to you Dad will be the only grandfather it will ever know. I will never forgive you for that. You will never know this baby. To this child, and frankly to everyone else, you don't exist."
Sydney turned and walked away, keeping her composure until she entered Vaughn's office again. Once she closed the door, she allowed herself to break down. She curled up, as much as she could, in Vaughn's oversized leather chair and began to cry.
By the time Vaughn entered his office, Sydney had fallen asleep, though the tracks from her tears could still be seen. He opened the door, expecting to see her on his computer or talking on the phone. "Hey." He spoke as he entered only to find her asleep, though her face glistened with tears. He knew right away that she had done the one thing he hoped she wouldn't; she had gone to see her mother.
He walked over to her and softly wiped the tears from her face. She barely stirred. He kissed the top of her head gently and quietly walked back out the door. After a quick word with his secretary, he headed to the elevators.
His reflection glared back slightly as he glared past the glass at the cold eyes before him. There was no hint of emotion in them. "What did you do to her?" his voice was cold, forceful and deep.
"That's quite an accusation. What makes you think I did anything to anyone, especially since I've been in this cell for years?" Irena was cool and collected and he could see right past it.
"Don't play dumb with me. We both know that you're extremely intelligent and you know what I'm talking about. I what to know what you did to make her break down."
"I did nothing. Pregnant women are often emotional, Mr. Vaughn. After 7 months, I'd think you'd know that." She was trying very hard to get to him. But he knew he had to be strong, for both his sake and Sydney's.
"Fine. You don't feel like sharing, fine. Just know that if I find out you have done anything, and I mean *anything*, else to make her have a melt down, especially in these last two months, I'll make sure the only comfort you have is the occasional trip to the bathroom." He glared at her profusely and turned and left.
He returned to his office to find her awake and on the phone. He entered and smiled as she waved to him as she talked. "No, I planned on stopping by later anyways . . . No I'm sure . . . Yeah . . . Ok . . . Like an hour? . . . Ok . . . Love you too . . . Give Fran a hug . . . See you then . . . Bye." She hung up and turned to him. "Hi."
"Hey. Will?" He asked nodding to the phone.
"Yeah. Just letting him know we'll be by the restaurant in a while."
"Ok. You ready?"
"Yeah, I just want to stop by my dad's office first. He'd kill me if he knew I was here all day and didn't . . ." She stopped when she realized that she had told Vaughn she was going to see him today while he was in his meeting, thus the reasons for going to headquarters. "I-I mean . . ."
"Don't worry, Syd. I know where you went today, and while I don't think it was good for you considering you must have spent a good long while crying to fall asleep like you did, I'm not mad. So come on, let's go see your dad and then we'll go to Francie's. I'm starving."
"How did you?" She asked as she stood.
"I came in here about 20 minutes ago while you were still sleeping and then I paid her a visit myself." He took her hand and led her towards Jack's office.
"Oh." She spoke softly, not really knowing what to say to him. When they reached Jack's secretary she smiled at the woman. "Hi. Is my dad in?"
"Yes he is. You go here just in time, he's about to leave for a meeting."
"Well, we won't be long. Thank you." Sydney smiled as her and Vaughn walked towards Jack's office. "Probably going to a meeting with the Pope." Sydney joked.
"The Pope?" Vaughn asked, smiling at her ability to put it all behind her and smile.
"Well you never know with my dad." She replied as they entered the office.
"Yes. Tell Derevko I'll be down in a few minutes." Jack spoke into the phone.
"Well we were close." Sydney smiled.
"How is that close?" Vaughn questioned.
"Ok, well opposite. We thought Pope when in reality it's the spawn of Satan. But they are both like second command to a high being." Sydney giggled as Vaughn laughed and Jack hung up the phone. "Hi Dad."
"Sydney, Mike, how are you feeling?" Jack walked over and hugged his daughter.
"I'm fine Dad. A little anxious for August, but fine nonetheless." She smiled at him.
"Well, it'll be here soon enough and then you'll wish for the days when it was just the two of you." He smiled and turned to Vaughn. "How are you holding up?"
"Me? I'm fine." Vaughn shook Jack's hand.
"You driving her nuts yet?" Jack joked.
"Yes!" Sydney replied right away causing them all to laugh.
"Well, I remember doing the same thing. All first time fathers' do. It's our jobs." He smiled.
"Great." Sydney mused. "Well, we're going to see Will and Francie and I'm sure you're excited to get to your meeting." She smiled.
"Yes, I'm just brimming with anticipation." Jack kept a straight face. "Ok, well I will see you all later." Jack hugged his daughter again and shook Vaughn's hand once more.
Sydney and Vaughn left the restaurant an hour or so later and returned to their hotel room. Sydney was absolutely exhausted. "Sorry we had to cut the visit short. I'm just so . . ." She yawned loudly.
Vaughn smiled as he sat down next to her on the bed, rubbing her lower back. "It's ok. I understand."
"Mmm." She moaned slightly as he rubbed her back. "You still going to do that after I have the baby?"
"I dunno. Depends on how nice you are to me." He smiled and kissed her.
"I'm sorry." She said as she pulled her away and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"For . . ."
"Well it's our anniversary but I'm so far along that we can't . . ."
"Syd." He cut her off. "It's ok, really." He kissed her temple and breathed in the scent of her hair. "I still love you."
"I love you, too."
"Come on, get into your most comfortable pjs and we'll order room service, since we never did eat at Francie's, and watch movies."
She smiled and nodded as she stood. "Sounds good to me!"
She sat in a pair of pj shorts and an oversized t-shirt having just finished her meal when she suddenly jumped up form the floor, alarming Vaughn who was seated next to her as they decided on the next movie. "I hate this!" She exclaimed as she walked to her suitcase.
"What? What's wrong?" Vaughn asked as he stood and walked over to her.
"THIS!" She pulled out a pair of pj pants and switched her shorts for them. "It's June, in LA, and I'm freezing! One minute I'm hot the next I'm cold! UH!" She threw her hands in the air. "It needs to be August."
He laughed as he walked to her and kissed her forehead. "Hmm."
"It's not funny!" She insisted. "I'm really uncomfortable."
"I know babe. And I wish I could fix that problem, but I can't."
"I know." She sighed and leaned up against him as his hands moved down to her lower back and began to massage it. "You always do that."
"What?"
"Rub my back. It never fails. When I'm upset or give even the slightest indication that I'm even remotely uncomfortable you automatically rub my back."
"Would you rather I not?" He joked.
"No. I love it." She smiled into his chest. "I just hope that after I have the baby you'll keep it up, whether I'm nice or not."
He chuckled and they walked to the bed. "So what do you want to watch next?"
"Hmmm." She looked at the Pay-Per-View menu. "I'm feeling like a good old movie."
"Well." He scanned the list before stopping. "Got it! 'All the President's Men'."
"A detective thriller? Seriously?"
"Yeah! Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Nixon getting busted . . . its good stuff!"
She smiled at his excitement. "What the heck, let's watch it." She smiled and snuggled up to him as he wrapped an arm around her, his hand resting on her stomach.
He smiled as he felt a little kick. "Our future NHL MVP is awake."
She laughed at his remark. "Yup. That they are."
"It doesn't hurt you, does it?" He asked full of concern.
"Not when they're kicking there instead of oh, my rib cage or kidneys." She smiled. "No. It's fine."
"Hmm." He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "I can't wait to hold this kid."
"Me neither." She kissed him gently before turning back to the TV. "Me neither."
A/N: Sorry again that it took so long. Stupid AOL. But I'm getting rid of AOL as of next Friday so it will be easier for me to update. I've had to use internet explorer AND AOL, such a pain! Well I hoped you enjoyed it and that it's not getting too icky for ya! By the way, next chapter is the baby chapter. Still open to name suggestions! Send me love please! - Secret Agent Girl