A/N: Ok, So you are all amazing. And here's the thing. I wanted to do this during my way too long free period, but NO! I had to go see the stupid Guidance counselor so that she could tell me I am so well prepared for senior year I don't need a Guidance counselor . . . thanks for wasting half my free period! THEN I totally forgot about the stupid British Literature assignment (which I still haven't started . . . I have no ideas for it!) AND to top it all off, I really have no clue where this chapter will go. But because I promised if I got to 80 (which I did and more, thank you all) that I would post again today, I AM TRYING! So if you are reading this and its Saturday then I'm SORRY! I really and trying (it's Thursday here but I have to do this, Brit Lit and make a cake for my freakin' French class . . . UH!
This is for Jennifer (who never fails to give a great review!) AND who threatened me. Look here it is, ok?! SO YOU BETTER UPDATE! I'd hate to have to steal my parent's credit card so I can come out there and kick your little butt!
And for Whitelighter Enchantress, who really wants to know what shower is in French, trust me, it sounds really wrong and I hate to say in when in class.
Again, some of this (like a page) is written out and I do have an idea of where I want this to go. But it's a little sketchy in my mind right now and I'm trying to do about 6387432876 things at once. So if it's a tad different than my last few chapters . . . or say, A LOT shorter (which I don't know yet) or broken into two, DEAL WITH IT. I'm trying. O and if I give the whole chapter, and you want an update before this weeks show, I was 100 reviews. THAT'S RIGHT. I WANT TRIPLE DIGITS!
Enough with my threats and aguish . . . ON WITH THE CHAPTER!
CHAPTER 9 – That Feeling
It was cold. That was the first thing she noticed when they returned to LA. That is was much colder than normal. In all of her years in LA she had never seen it this cold, and that revelation scared her.
It wasn't the fact that it was cold that scared her, but rather the feeling that came along with it. She remembered that feeling well. It was the same feeling she got right before she walked in to find Danny, slumped against the cold tile, a sea of blood around him. The same feeling she got right before the door closed, leaving Vaughn in a watery grave. It was the feeling of absolute dread and the knowledge that something bad was about to happen. It was a feeling she didn't enjoy.
She stood in the nursery, watching her son sleep peacefully. The feeling had been with her for a week now, ever since they had come home from France and every time the feeling would come on particularly strong, she would race to her son's side or call home checking up on him, remembering the feeling she felt when she found his namesake. She never wanted to feel that way again.
She was beginning to scare him. She was usually much more laid back. For the past year she had relaxed so much more than ever before and he hated to see her so upset now, especially since he didn't have a clue as to what was bothering her. He would watch her as a strange look would pass over her and she would rush over to Danny. He had read and heard stories about women being over protective of their children and given Sydney's protective nature, he expected some form of paranoia, but never to this extreme.
He walked into the nursery to find her standing by the crib, silently watching their son sleep. This was the 4th time he had found her here this week and it was worrying him completely. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, startling her. He silently began to lead her out of the room and forced her into their bedroom, shutting the door behind them and clicking on the monitor before turning to Sydney. "Sit down." He commanded softly.
"Excuse me?" She asked, softly, not believing what she had just heard.
"Sit down. We need to talk." She looked at him for a moment, noting the sadness in his eyes, before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Thank you. Now what is going on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? Syd, for the past week you have been completely on edge. You barely go an hour without checking on Danny. I've seen you between every period every day this week and you've wanted to come straight home the second the last bell rings." He as pacing now, his worry showing in the wrinkle lines on his forehead. "I also talked to my mom. She says you call home all the time. *All the time*, Sydney. I need to know what the hell is going on. You are scaring me." He admitted softly.
"I don't know what you are talking about. I always come to see you during the day and I always call home at least once a day to talk to your mom and see how Danny is. And I like to be home, so I want to get out of school at a good time."
"At a good time maybe, but usually I have to drag you out of that building! You never want to skip out on your students. And my mom says you've been calling almost once an hour. Sydney," she wouldn't meet his eyes as he kneeled in front of her. "Sydney look at me." She refused to meet his eyes still. He reached up and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I need for you to tell me what the hell is going on. We cannot have secrets. You are seriously worrying me."
"I don't know." She whispered softly, tears forming in her eyes. "I have no idea what is wrong. All I know is that I have this feeling, this horrible awful feeling that something is going to happen. I get this feeling only before something really drastic happens, something that won't make me happy. I got it right before I found Danny dead, before my dad told me about SD-6, right before that door closed on you in Taipei, right before my mom turned herself in, right before you got sick. Don't you see Michael, something is going to happen and I don't know what and that is scaring me!"
She was in tears by now and all he could do was reach up and pull her to him. She sobbed into his chest as he rocked her back and forth whispering soft comforting words into her ear. "Oh, baby, it's ok. I wish you would have told me about this."
"I didn't know what to tell you. I just don't like this feeling." She sniffed as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I know, Syd, I know." He kissed her forehead softly. "I think you need to take the day off tomorrow. It's too much. It's Friday and I have my meeting at the CIA on Saturday. I want you to take tomorrow off and then on Saturday, you're coming with me and you're going to go talk to Jack. I think he can help you with this."
She nodded slowly as he moved to the dresser and pulled out her pjs. They were a soft pair of flannel ones that she had owned since college. "Right now, you're going to take a long, hot bath and I'm going to go call my mom and tell her that she doesn't need to come tomorrow, ok?" She nodded and stood to take the pjs from him.
"Thank you." She whispered and she kissed him lightly. "I love you."
"I love you. Now go." He smiled slightly before turning to the phone.
She leaned her head against the back of the tub, allowing the bubbles and the oils to waft through the room. She had lit a lavender candle and used lavender bubble bath and salts, trying to calm her nerves to give her at least one night of peaceful sleep. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She only opened them again when she heard soft music playing in the back ground. She smiled Vaughn, who stood setting up the CD player, before kneeling next to the tub.
"You feeling any better?"
"Yeah." She smiled.
"Good. You must be really out of it, Syd. That's twice now in the last hour that you haven't heard me enter a room, it's not like you." He kept his voice low and soft as he pushed a strand of hair from her face.
"Yeah, this is really getting to me." She sighed deeply. "I don't know what's going to happen. I hate that." She chuckled softly.
"Well, you are going to talk to your father on Saturday. Hopefully he can help." Vaughn leaned in and kissed her right below her ear. "I love you, you know that?"
"I do. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
He waved her off with his hand. "I just hope your ok."
She woke to the smell of fresh coffee. It always was a smell that she adored. She rose from bed, feeling more relaxed then she had in a week. She smiled as she eyed the monitor, noting that her son was still asleep, Vaughn most likely had tended to him before he left for work, since it was 8:30 and Danny was usually up at 7 and then back down again till 9. She made her way downstairs and saw the coffee just finish up. She smiled as she realized Vaughn must have set it to brew again just for her. She pulled out a cup and poured the coffee, breathing in deep aroma. She made her way into the living room and sat down in the couch. Never being one for morning TV, she reached over for her book and opened it to the beginning, only to have a slip of paper drop out. She picked it up and slowly opened it, that feeling coming back.
She unfolded it and began to read, only to have to stop halfway through, tears blurring her vision. She didn't know why this was bothering her so much, it shouldn't. It wasn't like she had been there in months. Folding the paper back up, unable to read anymore, she glanced at the bottom to see the signature and stopped dead. She couldn't believe it. After everything, HE was the one to have written it. And to make matters worse, Vaughn had known for a week, according to the date at the top. Knowing that he knew the whole time, made her furious. When he got home, boy was he in for it.
He pulled the keys from the ignition and stepped out of the car. He began to walk up the front steps and his mind was back to where it had been most of the day, wondering if Sydney was feeling better. He hoped that the day off had helped her out and the moment he entered the house, he knew it hadn't.
The feeling in the air wasn't a friendly one. Placing his stuff down in the hallway, he slipped off his coat and slowly entered the living room to find Sydney sitting on the couch, Danny in her lap, as Top Gun played across the screen. He walked over behind the couch. "Hey."
She clicked off the TV and shifted Danny in her arms. "Hi." She didn't turn around and that unnerved him. "How was your day?" It seemed like a normal thing to ask, but her tone was anything but normal. Behind it held a layer of hostility and he knew her well enough to know it was there.
"It was ok. How was yours?" He asked, afraid of the answer, as he moved to sit in the large chair opposite her.
"Interesting question." She looked over at him. She reached over and picked up the book, his eyes following her every move quizzically. "Care to explain this?" She asked as she removed the letter.
His eyes widened when he registered what she was holding. "Syd . . ." he stammered, a loss for words. "I was going to tell you . . ."
"Really? When? Next week after it had happened already!? Damn it Vaughn!" He cringed at the use of his surname as she stood and placed Danny in the swing before turning back to him. "What were you doing keeping that from me? Don't you think I would want to know!?"
"You haven't talked to her in ages Sydney." He argued back, restraining his voice from rising. He knew it was his fault that she was angry and she had every right to be.
"That is no reason to keep this from me. She is my mother. *My MOTHER*. And despite everything she's done and no matter how much I hate her, part of me still loves her. I . . . God Michael, how could you just not tell me?"
"It wasn't my decision. You read the letter. Your father specifically asked me *not* to tell you because he was afraid of how you would react." Vaughn stood and moved in front of her. "Please believe me Syd. I would have told you. I was going to tell you."
"But not until after she was moved." She stated, not needing to form it as a question, knowing perfectly well that she was right; his down cast eyes gave him away. "You were just going to come up to me next week and say, 'Oh by the way, your mother was moved to a high security prison at Langley where she will be used to finish all of the cases she has knowledge about before going on trial for the second time so that she can be convicted to death.'? God, Vaughn, I feel like I don't know you." She turned away from him, tears in her eyes.
"Syd, don't say that."
"I'm sorry Michael. But the man I married would never keep something like that from me." She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. She could see so much pain. She knew that he would have told her had it not been for her father. "I need to go for a run." He was startled and looked at her, opening his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand. "No. I need to go cool down; I couldn't before because I had Danny here. I'll be home in a little while." She turned to leave when he reached out his hand and grabbed her wrist.
"Promise me. You'll come home." He pleaded with her.
She turned around and kissed his cheek softly. "I promise to come home. I just need to clear my head."
"I love you." He called to her retreating back.
"I know." She grabbed her coat. "I love you too."
She ran around the town aimlessly for close to two hours before she made her way back home. When she got there, she found Vaughn pacing around the living room as he spoke on the phone. "No she was really upset . . . two hours . . . I know that . . . Well I was just doing what you asked . . . I'm aware that she reacts that way about these things . . . yes of course I do! Why would you even ask . . . yes . . . If she ever comes home I will . . . You didn't see her Jack. She was so upset. I've never seen her that way. And it was my fault. I never wanted to upset her . . . Well what makes matters worse is she had a feeling all week that something bad was going to happen . . . yes I will . . . ok . . . I know . . . Yeah, thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow . . . yes she'll be there . . . bye." He hung up and turned around to find her leaning against the door frame. His face instantly brightened a bit. "Hi."
"Hey."
"How was your run?"
"Good. I'm sorry I left like that, I just needed . . . I don't know. I just needed to get out of this house and clear my mind."
"I know." He nodded his head slowly. "Listen, Syd . . . I'm really sorry I didn't tell you."
"I know." She took a few steps closer to him. "I know. And I'm still upset about it, but not so much with you as I am with my dad. He was the one who found out in the first place and then asked you to keep something from me." She took a deep breath. "I want to see her tomorrow." He nodded slowly. "And I want to bring Danny." He looked up at her, startled. "She has only seen him once. And I just, if she's leaving, I may never see her again and . . . I know I haven't seen her all that much in the past few months, but she's always been there. I could see her whenever I wanted and now, it won't take long for them to finish her trial. She could be gone within the month."
Taking his chances, Vaughn stepped up to his crying wife and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this."
"I already lost her once. I don't know if I can lose her again." She whispered into his ear as he stroked her hair.
"I know, I know."
She stalked down the hall, her son in her arms. She reached the long hallway and flashed her ID and the guard nodded, lifting the gates. She reached the end of the long walkway and stood in front of the glass.
Her backed was turned away from Sydney, but she could still feel her daughter's presence. "So Michael finally cracked." Irena stated as she turned to face her daughter and grandson.
"How did you know that he didn't tell me from the beginning?"
"Because your father told me. I asked if you were going to come to see me before I leave and he said that you had no idea I was even leaving. That he wouldn't let me have that power over you."
"He's a fool."
"Don't talk that way about your father." Irena scolded her, startling Sydney. "He may not make the best decisions but he always has his reasons."
"I know." Sydney sighed softly as she shifted Danny on her hips. "I wanted to see you for a reason today though. I need to know something and with what could happen in Virginia I'm asking that for just this once, you tell me the complete and total truth."
Irena looked at her daughter for a moment before answering. "Anything."
Sydney took a moment to contemplate how to word it. It was a delicate question and she wanted to put it the best way possible. However, after a moment of speculation she came to the conclusion that it was best to just spit it out.
"Why did you turn yourself in?"
A/N: I know . . . cruel. But see I didn't expect it to go there and I have to finish my French homework but I wanted to get this out tonight. PLUS I will update tomorrow if I get the chance. If not by Sunday at the latest. You want it tomorrow? I will try I promise . . . BUT I WANT THOSE REVIEWS! My goal is by the end of Ch 10 to have over 100. Only you can do that for me. SO I BEG YOU! 100 by Sunday and I will have at least 10 maybe even 11 out, though I'm thinking I might come near the end of this story. Let me know what you think of my first off the top of my head chapter. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!! And thanks again for all the reviews of Ch 8!! – Secret Agent Girl