Frodo is becoming increasingly ill for no apparent reason
Strider: Damn those Playskool Blades!
They are waiting for a bus
Pippin is on his knees waving his arms up and down
Strider: Pippin, what are you doing?
Pippin: Didn't you read the sign?
Strider: What?
Pippin: It says 'Hail Bus Here'
Strider: Idiot
The bus finally arrives
Strider throws the hobbits into the baggage area and gets on
Strider: One to Rivendell
He sits beside a window, listening to the hobbits banging around underneath him
Strider: Heh heh heh
They arrive in Rivendell two hours later
Some Elves in uniform see Strider pulling the hobbits out of the baggage compartment
Strider is fined for child abuse
Hobbits: Heh heh heh
Strider smacks them over their heads
He is fined again
Hobbits: Heh heh heh
Strider kicks them
He is fined again
Strider: @$#%! They're not even kids!
Frodo: Don't be stupid Daddy, of course we are!
Merry: Yeah Dad, you get what you give
Pippin: Daddy!
He grabs Striders leg and hugs it
Strider kicks him off
He's fined again
Sam: Oh Daddy, you're so mean!
Strider; Don't call me Daddy you little freaks!
He gets fined again
Strider; Okay...come along, kids, before Daddy loses all his money...
Frodo: I want a lollipop
Pippin: I wanna go home
Sam: I want a pony
Merry: I want Britney Spears
They all stare at him
Merry: Did I say that out loud?...Heh, heh heh...
Elf#1: You get off with a warning this time sir. But we'll be watching you...
Strider: Thank you kindly. Come along kids...
He walks off with Pippin attached to his leg and the others skipping along behind him
He pulls them into a corner
Strider: I'm serious guys. Do that again, and I will flay you to within an inch of your lives!
An Elf in uniform walks past
Strider pretends to be cleaning something off Pippin's cheek
The Elf nods and walks away
Strider: This isn't a joy trip. I swear pain will be your friend if you pull off a bloody trick like that again! You will be wishing you were dead! Understood?
Hobbits: Okay...
Strider drags them out and takes them to the House of Elrond Halfelven
Pippin: How can you be half elven?
Frodo: Pippin, you are so thick
Frodo stops and faints
Strider: Not again
He grabs Frodo by the ankles and drags him the rest of the way
Frodo wakes up hours later in a bed
Gandalf is sitting next to him
Frodo: Gandalf! Where have you been?
Gandalf: Well, I beat Sarumon at chess, and have been spending weeks recovering in hospital
Frodo: Why?
Gandalf: Sarumon isn't a very good loser...
Frodo: Oh...
Gandalf: We're going to be having a big celebration tonight
Frodo: Why?
Gandalf: Elrond felt like it. He's been trying to surpass the Gay and Lesbian Mardigra for years now
Frodo: Oh...
Gandalf: You almost passed beyond our reach
Frodo: What do you mean?
Gandalf: A few more minutes and you would have become an education happy Playschool host
Frodo: ARGHHH!
Gandalf: Yes, it was lucky Aragorn dragged you here in time
Frodo: Who's Aragorn?
Gandalf: Strider
Frodo: Strider is Aragorn?
Gandalf; No, Aragorn is Strider
Frodo: He has a split personality?
Gandalf: No, he is the same person
Frodo: So Aragorn and Strider are the same?
Gandalf: Yes
Frodo:...who's Aragorn?
Gandalf: I feel a headache about to start...
Sam comes bursting into the room
Sam: Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: Sam!
Gandalf: Sam hasn't left your side for days
Sam: It's good to see you up again!
Frodo: Where's Merry and Pippin?
Sam: They had to leave. You started singing 'If you're happy and you know it' and 'Mary had a little lamb' and 'Incy wincy spider'. I thought it was too late
Frodo: Well, I'm fine
Sam: Yay!
Gandalf: Go get ready for the celebration
Sam: Okay. See you there Frodo!
Frodo: Bye!
Gandalf: So how was it?
Frodo: What?
Gandalf: Your journey so far?
Frodo: It was alright. The Ring is really boring though
Gandalf: Never say that, Frodo!
Frodo: Why not?
Gandalf: It's reverse psycology
Frodo: Oh. Then the Ring is really exciting
Gandalf: Much better
Frodo and Gandalf get ready for the celebration
Gandalf is wearing a really frilly robe
Frodo: What is that?
Gandalf: A little number from the 0050's
Frodo: Gandalf, that was centuries...no, millienia ago!
Gandalf: Don't question my fashion sense
Frodo:...
They arrive at the Hall of Parties
Everyone is there
Merry and Pippin dance over
Merry: Hey Frodo! Wazzup?
Frodo: The sky, the punch bowl...PIP! LOOK OUT!
The punch bowl comes sailing over and hits Pippin on the head. He is knocked out (again)
Frodo: Dammit!
Gandalf gets asked to dance by an Elf
He giggles and blushes
Gandalf: Frodo, hold my purse
Frodo:...
Frodo looks across the room
A really beatiful Elf is sitting on a chair. She's wearing a tight body stocking with glitter all over it by Hot Flashes, a silver hair piece and silver lipstick by Singin' Silver, and a long, flowing green cape with complements from Elven Wear by Bregolomiel (available at all good elvish clothing stores. Half price sale on now in Lothlorien. Hurry and grab a bargain)
Frodo is struck dumb
Merry: Frodo?
He waves his hand in front of Frodo's face
Frodo: Dah...dah...(drools)
Merry slaps him
Merry: Pervert
Frodo: Wah?
Merry: That's Striders girlfriend, lucky punk
Frodo: DAMMIT!
Anyway, so they party and have a lot of fun. Frodo soon forgets his heart break, he vents his anger by beating up Strider. Okay, so they're not doing to well...maybe that's an exaggeration...oh, forget it
The next morning...
Gandalf: WAKE UP!
He slaps the hobbits awake with a towel soaked in a champagne bucket
Frodo: ARGHHH!
Sam: %^#$!
Merry: Huh? Wah?
Pippin: OWCH DAMMIT!
Gandalf: The Council awaits!
He walks away, trips on his robes and falls over the balcony
Gandalf: ARGHHHH!
Frodo: Ooh!
Pippin: Someone's stolen my wallet! *cries*
Later, Frodo and Gandalf, fresh out of ICU, are going to the Council
Frodo sees an Elf who looks familiar
Frodo: Hello. Have I met you before?
Elf: Yes, you stole my cloak and ran around with it in your underwear last night
Frodo: Oh...what's your name?
Elf: Legolas Greenleaf
Frodo: Uh..repeat?
Elf: Legolas Greenleaf
Frodo: (looks down) But you've got legs
Elf: No, I'm Legolas, but I'm not legless
Frodo: That doesn't make any sense
Elf: My full name in Legolas Greenleaf. Make anymore sense?'
Frodo: Oh! I get it! Leaves don't have legs...wait, but you do!
Elf: My name is Legolas, but I'm not without legs!
Frodo: Are your parents stupid?
Elf: My name is spelt L-E-G-O-L-A-S! Not L-E-G-L-E-S-S!
Frodo: Ohhh...who are you again?
Elf: I feel a migraine coming on...
Gandalf: Yes, hobbits have an uncanny ability to do that
Frodo and Gandalf take their seats
Frodo looks around
Aragorn is sitting with some other guy
Both are arguing about racehorses
Legolas is sitting in between some elves, who are giggling and whispering
Legolas: Oh, for Valar's sake, would you shut up?
The elves stop whispering and start passing notes instead
Legolas: Grrr...
Frodo: I have a feeling this is going to be a long and boring council...
Gandalf: Just wait until Elrond launches into his life story
Frodo: What's so bad about that?
Gandalf: His life began over 3000 years ago
Frodo: ^&$%!
Next: The Council of Elrond truly begins, Frodo meets the other guys (sadly), and the Fellowship is made. Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bored with the Ring
Strider: Damn those Playskool Blades!
They are waiting for a bus
Pippin is on his knees waving his arms up and down
Strider: Pippin, what are you doing?
Pippin: Didn't you read the sign?
Strider: What?
Pippin: It says 'Hail Bus Here'
Strider: Idiot
The bus finally arrives
Strider throws the hobbits into the baggage area and gets on
Strider: One to Rivendell
He sits beside a window, listening to the hobbits banging around underneath him
Strider: Heh heh heh
They arrive in Rivendell two hours later
Some Elves in uniform see Strider pulling the hobbits out of the baggage compartment
Strider is fined for child abuse
Hobbits: Heh heh heh
Strider smacks them over their heads
He is fined again
Hobbits: Heh heh heh
Strider kicks them
He is fined again
Strider: @$#%! They're not even kids!
Frodo: Don't be stupid Daddy, of course we are!
Merry: Yeah Dad, you get what you give
Pippin: Daddy!
He grabs Striders leg and hugs it
Strider kicks him off
He's fined again
Sam: Oh Daddy, you're so mean!
Strider; Don't call me Daddy you little freaks!
He gets fined again
Strider; Okay...come along, kids, before Daddy loses all his money...
Frodo: I want a lollipop
Pippin: I wanna go home
Sam: I want a pony
Merry: I want Britney Spears
They all stare at him
Merry: Did I say that out loud?...Heh, heh heh...
Elf#1: You get off with a warning this time sir. But we'll be watching you...
Strider: Thank you kindly. Come along kids...
He walks off with Pippin attached to his leg and the others skipping along behind him
He pulls them into a corner
Strider: I'm serious guys. Do that again, and I will flay you to within an inch of your lives!
An Elf in uniform walks past
Strider pretends to be cleaning something off Pippin's cheek
The Elf nods and walks away
Strider: This isn't a joy trip. I swear pain will be your friend if you pull off a bloody trick like that again! You will be wishing you were dead! Understood?
Hobbits: Okay...
Strider drags them out and takes them to the House of Elrond Halfelven
Pippin: How can you be half elven?
Frodo: Pippin, you are so thick
Frodo stops and faints
Strider: Not again
He grabs Frodo by the ankles and drags him the rest of the way
Frodo wakes up hours later in a bed
Gandalf is sitting next to him
Frodo: Gandalf! Where have you been?
Gandalf: Well, I beat Sarumon at chess, and have been spending weeks recovering in hospital
Frodo: Why?
Gandalf: Sarumon isn't a very good loser...
Frodo: Oh...
Gandalf: We're going to be having a big celebration tonight
Frodo: Why?
Gandalf: Elrond felt like it. He's been trying to surpass the Gay and Lesbian Mardigra for years now
Frodo: Oh...
Gandalf: You almost passed beyond our reach
Frodo: What do you mean?
Gandalf: A few more minutes and you would have become an education happy Playschool host
Frodo: ARGHHH!
Gandalf: Yes, it was lucky Aragorn dragged you here in time
Frodo: Who's Aragorn?
Gandalf: Strider
Frodo: Strider is Aragorn?
Gandalf; No, Aragorn is Strider
Frodo: He has a split personality?
Gandalf: No, he is the same person
Frodo: So Aragorn and Strider are the same?
Gandalf: Yes
Frodo:...who's Aragorn?
Gandalf: I feel a headache about to start...
Sam comes bursting into the room
Sam: Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: Sam!
Gandalf: Sam hasn't left your side for days
Sam: It's good to see you up again!
Frodo: Where's Merry and Pippin?
Sam: They had to leave. You started singing 'If you're happy and you know it' and 'Mary had a little lamb' and 'Incy wincy spider'. I thought it was too late
Frodo: Well, I'm fine
Sam: Yay!
Gandalf: Go get ready for the celebration
Sam: Okay. See you there Frodo!
Frodo: Bye!
Gandalf: So how was it?
Frodo: What?
Gandalf: Your journey so far?
Frodo: It was alright. The Ring is really boring though
Gandalf: Never say that, Frodo!
Frodo: Why not?
Gandalf: It's reverse psycology
Frodo: Oh. Then the Ring is really exciting
Gandalf: Much better
Frodo and Gandalf get ready for the celebration
Gandalf is wearing a really frilly robe
Frodo: What is that?
Gandalf: A little number from the 0050's
Frodo: Gandalf, that was centuries...no, millienia ago!
Gandalf: Don't question my fashion sense
Frodo:...
They arrive at the Hall of Parties
Everyone is there
Merry and Pippin dance over
Merry: Hey Frodo! Wazzup?
Frodo: The sky, the punch bowl...PIP! LOOK OUT!
The punch bowl comes sailing over and hits Pippin on the head. He is knocked out (again)
Frodo: Dammit!
Gandalf gets asked to dance by an Elf
He giggles and blushes
Gandalf: Frodo, hold my purse
Frodo:...
Frodo looks across the room
A really beatiful Elf is sitting on a chair. She's wearing a tight body stocking with glitter all over it by Hot Flashes, a silver hair piece and silver lipstick by Singin' Silver, and a long, flowing green cape with complements from Elven Wear by Bregolomiel (available at all good elvish clothing stores. Half price sale on now in Lothlorien. Hurry and grab a bargain)
Frodo is struck dumb
Merry: Frodo?
He waves his hand in front of Frodo's face
Frodo: Dah...dah...(drools)
Merry slaps him
Merry: Pervert
Frodo: Wah?
Merry: That's Striders girlfriend, lucky punk
Frodo: DAMMIT!
Anyway, so they party and have a lot of fun. Frodo soon forgets his heart break, he vents his anger by beating up Strider. Okay, so they're not doing to well...maybe that's an exaggeration...oh, forget it
The next morning...
Gandalf: WAKE UP!
He slaps the hobbits awake with a towel soaked in a champagne bucket
Frodo: ARGHHH!
Sam: %^#$!
Merry: Huh? Wah?
Pippin: OWCH DAMMIT!
Gandalf: The Council awaits!
He walks away, trips on his robes and falls over the balcony
Gandalf: ARGHHHH!
Frodo: Ooh!
Pippin: Someone's stolen my wallet! *cries*
Later, Frodo and Gandalf, fresh out of ICU, are going to the Council
Frodo sees an Elf who looks familiar
Frodo: Hello. Have I met you before?
Elf: Yes, you stole my cloak and ran around with it in your underwear last night
Frodo: Oh...what's your name?
Elf: Legolas Greenleaf
Frodo: Uh..repeat?
Elf: Legolas Greenleaf
Frodo: (looks down) But you've got legs
Elf: No, I'm Legolas, but I'm not legless
Frodo: That doesn't make any sense
Elf: My full name in Legolas Greenleaf. Make anymore sense?'
Frodo: Oh! I get it! Leaves don't have legs...wait, but you do!
Elf: My name is Legolas, but I'm not without legs!
Frodo: Are your parents stupid?
Elf: My name is spelt L-E-G-O-L-A-S! Not L-E-G-L-E-S-S!
Frodo: Ohhh...who are you again?
Elf: I feel a migraine coming on...
Gandalf: Yes, hobbits have an uncanny ability to do that
Frodo and Gandalf take their seats
Frodo looks around
Aragorn is sitting with some other guy
Both are arguing about racehorses
Legolas is sitting in between some elves, who are giggling and whispering
Legolas: Oh, for Valar's sake, would you shut up?
The elves stop whispering and start passing notes instead
Legolas: Grrr...
Frodo: I have a feeling this is going to be a long and boring council...
Gandalf: Just wait until Elrond launches into his life story
Frodo: What's so bad about that?
Gandalf: His life began over 3000 years ago
Frodo: ^&$%!
Next: The Council of Elrond truly begins, Frodo meets the other guys (sadly), and the Fellowship is made. Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bored with the Ring