"Rei" by Desslok
------------------
My friends don't understand. I doubt they ever will. They visit
the shrine; they help with things; sometimes they even join me in
prayers or mediations, but they don't see the world that I see.
The kami are all around us, all of the time. When I focus
properly, when I hone my mind and spirit and lose myself in the
world, I see them. During a rainstorm, Ami could explain about
the collision of high and low pressure systems and the saturation
point of air at different temperatures. Makoto could describe
the power and feel of the lightning and the thunder. Minako
could spout misquoted poems about the beauty of the rain and
Usagi could whine about getting wet. None of them can see the
thousands upon thousands of small water sprites happily diving
from their home in the clouds to make a new life on the ground in
the rivers and streams. If I seem distracted at times, it is
because the world sings to me in a voice few others can hear.
This is one of the reasons I always feel out of step with my
friends. It is not fair of me to take that feeling out on Usagi,
but I often do, if only because I know that she can take it, that
she understands, even if she doesn't realize that she
understands. I don't share their uniform, their school, or their
world really. Mamoru understands, but I think it hurts Usagi to
know how close he and I are. She knows how much he loves her,
but I don't know if she understands how very much he respects
her. Still, he is set apart from the rest of us by his age and
his gender. Ami understands as well. She and I are so
dissimilar in so many ways. She is grounded in the real world,
the world of science and knowledge and practicality. I live in
a world that she has only glimpsed in passing, from the corner of
her eye. But, though we look in through different windows, we
both stand apart and that gives us something very important in
common.
Lately, I've begun to suspect that perhaps Ami and I have more in
common that we'd both realized. I see the shimmerings in her
aura and the feelings flittering through her eyes as we sit in
our meetings. It is my job to understand people, to ascertain
their problems and concerns in a glance. Ami is in love. It is
so easy for me to see visions related to others, so hard to see
them for myself. The flame brought me an image of the delicate
red cord that binds Ami to her beloved. Her feelings will be
returned and I am happy for her. She deserves to be loved and
cared for. Unfortunately, I cannot see the cord wrapped around
myself. I do not know if it leads to the one who haunts my
dreams. I will just have to wait and see where life takes me.
There is time. We have all the time in the world.
I used to worry about being the leader. I used to believe that
my purity, my insight, my strength of will and character had
earned me the right to that title. Now, I know differently.
Usagi leads us in one sense. We would all die for her. We all
have. Her innocence and love surpass anything you could ever
imagine. They will remake the entire world in time.
I think it is because she is so full of love for everything and
everyone that it is so easy to love her in return. We all do. I
know that some suspect that I have deeper feelings for her.
Perhaps I do, but if so, no more than all of us do. You cannot
swear your body, your life, your very soul to someone and then
deny them your love or your caress. If she asked it, any of us
would gladly fall into her arms and lie there for all eternity.
But, in doing so, she would hurt those not asked and thus, she
never will. We all deal with it in different ways. Haruka
flirts with her outrageously, or at least she did before she
began to fear it might hurt Michiru. Makoto mothers her. Minako
treats her like a twin sister. Ami instructs her. I bicker with
her. And she responds perfectly to each of us in turn. She is
truly amazing, our princess, our queen.
Minako is also our leader. In many ways, she is a combination of
all of our best traits. She can love as purely as Usagi. She
can be as strong as Makoto, as clever in battle as Ami, and
matches me in terms of will and determination.
I remember once when Mina decided she wanted to visit my school.
She made things...interesting, as did an evil spirit there. Some
time after that incident, I meditated deeply on her. The most
renowned artist could not do the vision justice. Nymphs and
fairies surround her at all times, scattering rose petals at her
feet and pixie dust in her hair. The kami have truly blessed
her, for she is indeed the goddess of love and beauty. She is
the most beautiful woman I have ever known and I can still taste
her skin on my lips from that afternoon. Where she walks,
flowers and sunbeams sign in praise and glory.
I wish she could see herself as the world sees her, as I see her.
The only thing I do not see when I look at her is a knot of red.
I can think of only two explanations for this. I hope that the
happier one is right, but only time will tell. We have all the
time in the world, after all.
------------------
My friends don't understand. I doubt they ever will. They visit
the shrine; they help with things; sometimes they even join me in
prayers or mediations, but they don't see the world that I see.
The kami are all around us, all of the time. When I focus
properly, when I hone my mind and spirit and lose myself in the
world, I see them. During a rainstorm, Ami could explain about
the collision of high and low pressure systems and the saturation
point of air at different temperatures. Makoto could describe
the power and feel of the lightning and the thunder. Minako
could spout misquoted poems about the beauty of the rain and
Usagi could whine about getting wet. None of them can see the
thousands upon thousands of small water sprites happily diving
from their home in the clouds to make a new life on the ground in
the rivers and streams. If I seem distracted at times, it is
because the world sings to me in a voice few others can hear.
This is one of the reasons I always feel out of step with my
friends. It is not fair of me to take that feeling out on Usagi,
but I often do, if only because I know that she can take it, that
she understands, even if she doesn't realize that she
understands. I don't share their uniform, their school, or their
world really. Mamoru understands, but I think it hurts Usagi to
know how close he and I are. She knows how much he loves her,
but I don't know if she understands how very much he respects
her. Still, he is set apart from the rest of us by his age and
his gender. Ami understands as well. She and I are so
dissimilar in so many ways. She is grounded in the real world,
the world of science and knowledge and practicality. I live in
a world that she has only glimpsed in passing, from the corner of
her eye. But, though we look in through different windows, we
both stand apart and that gives us something very important in
common.
Lately, I've begun to suspect that perhaps Ami and I have more in
common that we'd both realized. I see the shimmerings in her
aura and the feelings flittering through her eyes as we sit in
our meetings. It is my job to understand people, to ascertain
their problems and concerns in a glance. Ami is in love. It is
so easy for me to see visions related to others, so hard to see
them for myself. The flame brought me an image of the delicate
red cord that binds Ami to her beloved. Her feelings will be
returned and I am happy for her. She deserves to be loved and
cared for. Unfortunately, I cannot see the cord wrapped around
myself. I do not know if it leads to the one who haunts my
dreams. I will just have to wait and see where life takes me.
There is time. We have all the time in the world.
I used to worry about being the leader. I used to believe that
my purity, my insight, my strength of will and character had
earned me the right to that title. Now, I know differently.
Usagi leads us in one sense. We would all die for her. We all
have. Her innocence and love surpass anything you could ever
imagine. They will remake the entire world in time.
I think it is because she is so full of love for everything and
everyone that it is so easy to love her in return. We all do. I
know that some suspect that I have deeper feelings for her.
Perhaps I do, but if so, no more than all of us do. You cannot
swear your body, your life, your very soul to someone and then
deny them your love or your caress. If she asked it, any of us
would gladly fall into her arms and lie there for all eternity.
But, in doing so, she would hurt those not asked and thus, she
never will. We all deal with it in different ways. Haruka
flirts with her outrageously, or at least she did before she
began to fear it might hurt Michiru. Makoto mothers her. Minako
treats her like a twin sister. Ami instructs her. I bicker with
her. And she responds perfectly to each of us in turn. She is
truly amazing, our princess, our queen.
Minako is also our leader. In many ways, she is a combination of
all of our best traits. She can love as purely as Usagi. She
can be as strong as Makoto, as clever in battle as Ami, and
matches me in terms of will and determination.
I remember once when Mina decided she wanted to visit my school.
She made things...interesting, as did an evil spirit there. Some
time after that incident, I meditated deeply on her. The most
renowned artist could not do the vision justice. Nymphs and
fairies surround her at all times, scattering rose petals at her
feet and pixie dust in her hair. The kami have truly blessed
her, for she is indeed the goddess of love and beauty. She is
the most beautiful woman I have ever known and I can still taste
her skin on my lips from that afternoon. Where she walks,
flowers and sunbeams sign in praise and glory.
I wish she could see herself as the world sees her, as I see her.
The only thing I do not see when I look at her is a knot of red.
I can think of only two explanations for this. I hope that the
happier one is right, but only time will tell. We have all the
time in the world, after all.