I looked out of the curtains into Privet Drive. I was here. The worst place
ever, and Dumbledore wouldn't even let me stay with the Weasleys for the
first two weeks of the holidays. I longed to be back at Hogwarts with a
pain in my stomach. The thoughts of the warm, cosy castle simply made my
pangs worse. I wanted to see a friendly face. I wanted to see Ron and
Hermione. Cho. I turned around and got back into bed. I wondered what Cho
was doing. I hoped she was safe and happy. I got up again and went over to
my desk, and searched for a piece of parchment - a mad thought came into my
head. I could write to her and tell her how I felt. It would save any
embarrassment of me telling her face to face. But then what if she wrote
back saying;
Dear Harry,
I'm very sorry, but after the death of Cedric, I feel I couldn't love another. Plus, I think you look like the back end of the Knight Bus.
Cho
I'm not sure if these feelings are even love yet. It feels like a knot in my stomach that I just can't get rid of. I know I don't want to feel this way about her, especially after what happened to Cedric. I drew up my chair to the desk, sat down and put my head in my hands. I just wanted to be next to her, soothing her sadness over Cedric. During the final speech at the end of term, I felt moved by the sight of the tears streaming silently down her face. I just wanted to get up and kiss the tears away. I've never known what it feels like to mourn a death, even though death has played a very important part in my life for fifteen years. I don't even remember what really happened on the day my parents died, but I came close to hearing a lot about what happened in my third year. The Azkaban Dementors were asked to guard the school after my innocent godfather Sirius Black escaped from the prison in case he might come up to the school and murder any students. It was a well-known fact that he was after me. Which in truth, he wasn't. Anyway, the Dementors caused me to feel faint and dizzy, and all I could hear was 'Lily, get Harry and try to escape.' and 'Kill me, not Harry!' with a blinding green flash drowned out by my mother's screams and the high pitched laughter that could only belong to Voldemort.
I tried to shake off that thought, and tried to concentrate on Cho. After all, I don't even remember my parents all that well. All I have left of them is those memories of their dying words, a photo album Hagrid gave to me, and their two best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
I got up again, now feeling completely and utterly restless. Thoughts and emotions were whirling round and round in my mind, with an urge to break free that the more they fought and struggled, the less likely there was a chance of them getting out. I glanced over at the countdown I made counting down the days I return to Hogwarts - twenty-four days to go. Twenty-four days left of feeling imprisoned and abandoned. I only had the letters from Ron and Hermione to keep me company, along with Hedwig. However, she was out delivering a letter to Neville, explaining what the Potions essay was as his fear of Snape had increased so much that he was unable to retain any information he told him. I lay back onto my bed again, and closed my eyes. I could see Cho grinning at me like the way she did when I first met her. Words encircled her, ones that I had never read before in such a way:
This feeling - it's hard to describe. It's like an illness, yet it feels uplifting. I feel happy, yet I feel sad. I am unsure why this happened. It started as a feeling of happiness, then I grew so Addicted. This addiction you ask? Why, it's love.
Maybe I'd just realised I really was in love with her. I had to tell her. Ron and Hermione don't know. I don't want them to. I know that Ron would just double up with laughter, but I don't know how Hermione would take it.
I felt like killing myself. I felt like driving a knife through my arm until I drew blood and saw it oozing all over the floor. But I knew that that wouldn't solve anything. I just had to ride it out. I turned over, and saw visions of Cho crying over Cedric, the pair kissing outside the Great Hall. Then I saw her running up to me saying 'I love you, Harry. Cedric was just to make you jealous. You really are the one for me.' But I knew that that wasn't going to happen. My fantasies moved forward in time. I swooped around the Quidditch pitch, caught the Snitch and won the Quidditch World Cup. Cho was in the stands, eyes glistening with tears with a smile of love on her face, while everyone else cheered for me. I looked again at Cho, and she was gone.
Dear Harry,
I'm very sorry, but after the death of Cedric, I feel I couldn't love another. Plus, I think you look like the back end of the Knight Bus.
Cho
I'm not sure if these feelings are even love yet. It feels like a knot in my stomach that I just can't get rid of. I know I don't want to feel this way about her, especially after what happened to Cedric. I drew up my chair to the desk, sat down and put my head in my hands. I just wanted to be next to her, soothing her sadness over Cedric. During the final speech at the end of term, I felt moved by the sight of the tears streaming silently down her face. I just wanted to get up and kiss the tears away. I've never known what it feels like to mourn a death, even though death has played a very important part in my life for fifteen years. I don't even remember what really happened on the day my parents died, but I came close to hearing a lot about what happened in my third year. The Azkaban Dementors were asked to guard the school after my innocent godfather Sirius Black escaped from the prison in case he might come up to the school and murder any students. It was a well-known fact that he was after me. Which in truth, he wasn't. Anyway, the Dementors caused me to feel faint and dizzy, and all I could hear was 'Lily, get Harry and try to escape.' and 'Kill me, not Harry!' with a blinding green flash drowned out by my mother's screams and the high pitched laughter that could only belong to Voldemort.
I tried to shake off that thought, and tried to concentrate on Cho. After all, I don't even remember my parents all that well. All I have left of them is those memories of their dying words, a photo album Hagrid gave to me, and their two best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
I got up again, now feeling completely and utterly restless. Thoughts and emotions were whirling round and round in my mind, with an urge to break free that the more they fought and struggled, the less likely there was a chance of them getting out. I glanced over at the countdown I made counting down the days I return to Hogwarts - twenty-four days to go. Twenty-four days left of feeling imprisoned and abandoned. I only had the letters from Ron and Hermione to keep me company, along with Hedwig. However, she was out delivering a letter to Neville, explaining what the Potions essay was as his fear of Snape had increased so much that he was unable to retain any information he told him. I lay back onto my bed again, and closed my eyes. I could see Cho grinning at me like the way she did when I first met her. Words encircled her, ones that I had never read before in such a way:
This feeling - it's hard to describe. It's like an illness, yet it feels uplifting. I feel happy, yet I feel sad. I am unsure why this happened. It started as a feeling of happiness, then I grew so Addicted. This addiction you ask? Why, it's love.
Maybe I'd just realised I really was in love with her. I had to tell her. Ron and Hermione don't know. I don't want them to. I know that Ron would just double up with laughter, but I don't know how Hermione would take it.
I felt like killing myself. I felt like driving a knife through my arm until I drew blood and saw it oozing all over the floor. But I knew that that wouldn't solve anything. I just had to ride it out. I turned over, and saw visions of Cho crying over Cedric, the pair kissing outside the Great Hall. Then I saw her running up to me saying 'I love you, Harry. Cedric was just to make you jealous. You really are the one for me.' But I knew that that wasn't going to happen. My fantasies moved forward in time. I swooped around the Quidditch pitch, caught the Snitch and won the Quidditch World Cup. Cho was in the stands, eyes glistening with tears with a smile of love on her face, while everyone else cheered for me. I looked again at Cho, and she was gone.