Chapter 8...................
Samia eyed Maria up, wondering just why she was looking at her and Ardeth in such a strange manner, albeit with a smile on her face. They'd arrived back in Cotillo to pick up Hamid after their day out, but found that little Hamid had other ideas. He now had a firm friend in Miguel, Pedro and Maria's grandson and had begged to be able to stay overnight. Pedro's daughter Rosa and her husband Miguel senior had said that Hamid could stay with them and camp out in the garden with Miguel at their home in La Olivia in the hills. Hamid was always ready for a new adventure so Ardeth and Samia agreed and sent him on his way.
They were now sat outside Alejandro's restaurant having dinner together. Ardeth tucked in with relish, but Samia found that her appetite had all but deserted her. Maria was a wise old woman and had seen numerous amounts of courting couples, so she spotted easily the signs of the obvious feelings Ardeth and Samia were struggling to get a grip on. Not to mention the tell tale rash on Samia's face that Maria knew was the result of kissing a man with a beard. She smiled inwardly hoping that the two of them were finally finding happiness together.
When she's first come across Ardeth Bay she'd found him pleasant enough, but she saw behind the calm facade to the sadness lurking within, marring the brightness. But tonight it was as though the dark clouds had lifted revealing the true inner beauty of the man. Maria knew that Samia had brought that out in him. Samia herself was positively glowing, the feelings of new love threatening to burst forth. All the little gestures between them were evident. The way Ardeth pulled out Samia's chair for her, the little touches, the lingering looks exchanged between the two of them. She also knew that Samia had never known a man intimately before and thought it was high time for her to finally take the step. Ardeth would guide her, of that she was sure.
"Time for us to go Pedro," she said with a wink in the direction of her husband.
Actually, Pedro had been one of the main instigators in Hamid's new adventure. Having met Ardeth Bay and seeing the way he and Samia were together, he wanted nothing more for them to be together, secure in the little family unit with Hamid that they'd managed to create in such a short space of time. Samia needed a partner in life, someone to cherish her and give back all the love and attention she'd lavished on Hamid over the years. He now wanted to give the couple every opportunity for their feelings to grow.
"We'll bid you both goodnight them," said Pedro with a grin. "Dont worry about Hamid I'll pick him up and bring him home after lunch tomorrow."
Samia stood and kissed Maria goodbye. As she did Maria whispered in her ear. "Follow your heart my dear, let him lead the way, he's the man for you and I can tell he loves you very much. Don't fear the next step."
Samia blushed instantly, Maria was practically encouraging her to go to bed with Ardeth.
"But I didn't think you approved of such behaviour?" she stammered.
"I was young myself once you know dear," she grinned. "My Pedro was the catch of the village, if I hadn't have snapped him up......."
"Well, you're certainly full of surprises aren't you," Samia giggled.
Ardeth looked up at the pair of them with a puzzled expression on his face. Samia just smiled back, saying nothing as Pedro and Maria made their way home arm in arm.
"I think we've been set up," she said, sitting back down opposite Ardeth.
Ardeth grinned and took her hand in his, looking deeply into her eyes. "Is that so bad?" he murmured huskily. "I mean is it not what you want?"
Samia's lips still burned from his kiss earlier in the day, the depth of his passion for her still made the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end.
"Oh yes, I want this more than anything," she whispered.
As they strolled home, arms locked around each other, Samia began to feel the nervousness welling up in her belly once again. She'd dreamed of them together, but would he think badly of her for being so forward? She silently admitted to herself that the biggest concern she had was that with her having no experience with men that she wouldn't match up, that she wouldn't be able to satisfy a man such as him.
They opened the gate and started up the path.
"Let's sit on the terrace for a while and watch the sun go down," said Ardeth. He'd noticed her quivering as they'd neared the house and decided to slow the pace a little to put her at ease.
He settled himself down on a large deckchair on the terrace and pulled Samia down in front of him, wrapping his arm around her waist whilst lovingly stroking her hair with the other, wanting to stroke away all her fears of him. To his comfort she eventually started to relax.
"I want to ask you something Samia," he said seriously. "Something I've been working up the courage for most of the day," he said smiling.
"What is it?" asked Samia as she turned herself sideways and looked into his eyes.
She looked so beautiful and trusting as he pulled her closer to his chest and took a deep breath.
"I want, well I hope that you want also..............I want you to come home to Egypt with me, I mean with me and Hamid."
Samia's heart soared, could it be that her wildest dreams were about to come true? Could she finally put the last few years of running and hiding behind her?
Not yet, she couldn't put the inbred cautiousness and distrust to sleep, it just wouldn't go away so easily. Her heart did a bellyflop and landed back in the pit of her stomach as she realized that things just didn't fall on a platter for her. They never had done before, so who was she to think that they would now?
"Back to Egypt? With you and Hamid? In what capacity would that be?" she asked sadly. "Do you wish to take me back as a carer for Hamid?"
"NO," he shouted, outraged. That was not my intention at all. Samia, I want you to be with me."
Nag nag nag, the feelings still wouldn't go away, as hard as she tried to push them out. The feelings of self doubt, self worth and utter despair were deep rooted.
"As your what? your companion? your lover? your mistress maybe?" she asked bitterly, remembering a long time ago a conversation she'd overheard between a high ranking Madjai's wife and her mother. The woman was practically commiserating with Samia's mother at the misfortune of not having a purebred Medjai child to offer in marriage. The best she could hope for was that someone would take her as a second or third wife, her being a halfbreed and all.
Ardeth immediately pulled Samia to her feet, his eyes blazing with rage, his breath ragged.
"What sort of a man do you think I am Samia? Do you honestly think I would take you back as my.......as my hoar, because that's what you've just implied. Do you really think so little of yourself?"
His fingers were digging into the tender flesh of her upper arms and she felt all the strength of the mighty warrior now towering over her, but her face remained impassive. Looking at him, seeing his utter outrage at what she'd just said, she slowly started to realize that she'd completely misread his intentions towards her, but these thoughts of hers just hadn't come up and slapped her in the face, they'd been eating away at her for a while. Her questions needed answers before she could let out her true feelings for Ardeth.
Ardeth eased his grip on her as he saw the look of torment taking over in her eyes. "Do you not realize? Can you really not realize how I feel about you Samia?" he implored, pushing the thoughts that she may not feel the same way about him to the back of his mind. "Come inside, we have much to say to each other."
As Ardeth turned away from her and walked inside the house, Samia took a last look at the sun as it's lingering last rays disappeared beyond the horizon. She took a deep breath before following her heart and walking inside, closing the door behind her and shutting out the rest of the world.
Ardeth was kindling the fire, and as it sprang to life she noticed a few strands of gray in his glossy hair that had been illuminated by the glow of the firelight. 'I'd never noticed those before' she thought, realizing that before she went any further with Ardeth she had to learn so much more about him, and he about her.
"Where do we start Samia?" he said as he settled down in front of the fire. "What can I do or say to convince you to believe and trust me?"
"Tell me about your family Ardeth, your parents, how you grew up, just start from the beginning," she smiled.
"From the beginning? hmmm," he sighed.
"I'm the youngest of four children, the only male child of Hakim and Jamilla Bay. I think they'd all but given up on having a son. My father was in his fifties when I was born," he smiled, uncoiling his long legs and lying down on the hearthrug, propping his head up on a large cushion.
"They must've been over the moon when you arrived," said Samia.
"Oh yes, I was the source of much rejoicing, not only within my family, but by the tribes also," he laughed. "But at no time did my parents or my sisters spoil me, well occasionally my mother did, but only when my father was out of earshot," he grinned.
"Were things always clear cut for you? Were you always reminded of your duty and your importance to the Medjai?" asked Samia.
"By my father and the elders yes. I was always expected to learn quicker, excell more. My training was so much more intense than others of my age. My father thought it fitting that I was pitched up against the older boys and proved my skills early." he sighed.
"That must have been difficult for you," sympathized Samia.
"I know my mother must've been fed up with comstantly stitching me up in the early days, but my father reasoned that it would build character, and to a certain extent I think it did. Not that I would necessarily choose that course of action for Hamid," he said, after noticing the wary look on Samia's face. "Times are changing Samia, and I've learned to change with them."
Samia found herself relaxing by the moment, his candour and honesty chipping away slowly at the wall she'd built around herself. She was thankful he bore her no malice for her lack of faith in him.
"Don't get me wrong, I loved my father and I never felt anything but love from him. I didn't realize it then, it only came to me a few years later, but he knew he was dying for some years before it actually came to pass. All the excess training and schooling was driven by a sense of urgency on his part, not knowing just how much time he had left," he sighed.
"Ardeth I........." Samia started before being interrupted.
"He knew that to pass on the leadership of the Medjai to me when I was not yet ready, when I was unprepared would have meant certain disaster. Not only for myself, but for the whole of the Medjai. I came to understand that he pushed me so because he loved me so."
Samia could see Ardeth's love for his father shining through and was heartened by it.
"When he died, I think a part of me died with him, as I'm sure a part of you went to the next life at your father's side."
"You've got that right," Samia said sadly. "Please, go on," she whispered.
"I took over the leadership of the Medjai at the age of eighteen. Much to young in some of the elders opinions. They would have liked to elect a consort at least until I reached the age of twenty one. But, I dug my heels in and eventually proved my worth to them," he sighed. "I can't say it wasn't a struggle though. There were many who thought that a leader so young would make an easy target. It was a time of unrest within the tribes, some were battling for change, some clinging on to the old ways, just as moss clings to a stone."
"I remember only too well the many battles within the tribes," sighed Samia. "A great many of the elders were somewhat less than pleased that my father had married an outsider. My mother told me that very few people even gave her the time of day for the first few years after her arrival," Samia said sadly.
Ardeth suddenly realized that a lot of Samia's fears were grounded on this. "Is that what you fear also, that no-one will accept you?" he said, gently cupping her chin in the palm of his hand.
Samia nodded. "I was once called a half breed and my mother told that my only use and only chance of making a marriage within the Medjai would be as a second or third wife. It's ironic really that the half breed finally became useful for that very fact."
"Samia, when I said times had changed, you can take that as the truth, you must believe me. I would never put you in a position that would cause people to scorn you," he answered.
"But as Chief, surely you must have re-married after your wife had died. I would have been expected of you," she argued.
Ardeth smiled and chuckled slightly. "Ah," he said. "So you think I'm already married do you?"
"Well, I, I didn't know and............" she stuttered.
"You were afraid to ask?" he questioned. "I'm not married Samia, I probably did buck the old system, but I never wanted more than one wife."
"Do you still love her then? Is that why you never married again."
"Oh Samia, when I married Khadija, it was with the sole purpose of uniting two of the tribes and producing an heir. Both she and I knew that. I was younger then, I didn't question the ways and hadn't then learned to move with the times as I have now. We cared and respected each other and she'll always hold a special place in my heart for she gave birth to my son. But, I always knew that she didn't love me, nor I her. We both thought that maybe one day love would grow on us, that one day maybe we'd wake up and it would be there, but we never got the chance. She died shortly after Hamid was born as you know. The one comfort I have is that she said she'd been happy with me and that she regretted nothing. For that I truly respected her. She also wanted me to go out and seek true love and was sorry that we couldn't have found it within our marriage, as was I."
Ardeth's eyes had misted over slightly and a few tears hovered on his dark lashes. Samia knew his words to be true and felt the tears stinging her own eyes. This man in front of her wanted nothing more than a chance to love, a chance to build a family life. And what had she done? all but thrown it back in his face.
"Ardeth," she croaked. "I'm so, so sorry for doubting your intentions, please forgive me. It's just that I've been on my own for so long, it seems like forever. I don't know how to let go and let someone else into my heart."
"I know," said Ardeth as he rolled over on the floor and took her into his arms. "I know."
"Will you help me?" she whispered.
"I will, but only if you'll do something for me in return," he smiled.
"Ardeth, I love you, I'll do anything you ask," she blurted out.
Allah be praised, she'd admitted her love for him. His heart was close to bursting.
"Samia, think very carefully as to your answer, as it'll stay your answer for life. I want you to decide from your heart, not from your willingness to please me. You have to really want this as much as I."
Samia's eyes were like saucers as it suddenly dawned on her what his question would be.
"Samia, I never knew love before I met you, and you have to know that I do love you, with all my heart. I want you to come home with me, not as a carer for Hamid, not as my mistress, but as the woman who's finally unlocked a frozen heart. I want you to come home with me as my wife Samia."
Samia eyed Maria up, wondering just why she was looking at her and Ardeth in such a strange manner, albeit with a smile on her face. They'd arrived back in Cotillo to pick up Hamid after their day out, but found that little Hamid had other ideas. He now had a firm friend in Miguel, Pedro and Maria's grandson and had begged to be able to stay overnight. Pedro's daughter Rosa and her husband Miguel senior had said that Hamid could stay with them and camp out in the garden with Miguel at their home in La Olivia in the hills. Hamid was always ready for a new adventure so Ardeth and Samia agreed and sent him on his way.
They were now sat outside Alejandro's restaurant having dinner together. Ardeth tucked in with relish, but Samia found that her appetite had all but deserted her. Maria was a wise old woman and had seen numerous amounts of courting couples, so she spotted easily the signs of the obvious feelings Ardeth and Samia were struggling to get a grip on. Not to mention the tell tale rash on Samia's face that Maria knew was the result of kissing a man with a beard. She smiled inwardly hoping that the two of them were finally finding happiness together.
When she's first come across Ardeth Bay she'd found him pleasant enough, but she saw behind the calm facade to the sadness lurking within, marring the brightness. But tonight it was as though the dark clouds had lifted revealing the true inner beauty of the man. Maria knew that Samia had brought that out in him. Samia herself was positively glowing, the feelings of new love threatening to burst forth. All the little gestures between them were evident. The way Ardeth pulled out Samia's chair for her, the little touches, the lingering looks exchanged between the two of them. She also knew that Samia had never known a man intimately before and thought it was high time for her to finally take the step. Ardeth would guide her, of that she was sure.
"Time for us to go Pedro," she said with a wink in the direction of her husband.
Actually, Pedro had been one of the main instigators in Hamid's new adventure. Having met Ardeth Bay and seeing the way he and Samia were together, he wanted nothing more for them to be together, secure in the little family unit with Hamid that they'd managed to create in such a short space of time. Samia needed a partner in life, someone to cherish her and give back all the love and attention she'd lavished on Hamid over the years. He now wanted to give the couple every opportunity for their feelings to grow.
"We'll bid you both goodnight them," said Pedro with a grin. "Dont worry about Hamid I'll pick him up and bring him home after lunch tomorrow."
Samia stood and kissed Maria goodbye. As she did Maria whispered in her ear. "Follow your heart my dear, let him lead the way, he's the man for you and I can tell he loves you very much. Don't fear the next step."
Samia blushed instantly, Maria was practically encouraging her to go to bed with Ardeth.
"But I didn't think you approved of such behaviour?" she stammered.
"I was young myself once you know dear," she grinned. "My Pedro was the catch of the village, if I hadn't have snapped him up......."
"Well, you're certainly full of surprises aren't you," Samia giggled.
Ardeth looked up at the pair of them with a puzzled expression on his face. Samia just smiled back, saying nothing as Pedro and Maria made their way home arm in arm.
"I think we've been set up," she said, sitting back down opposite Ardeth.
Ardeth grinned and took her hand in his, looking deeply into her eyes. "Is that so bad?" he murmured huskily. "I mean is it not what you want?"
Samia's lips still burned from his kiss earlier in the day, the depth of his passion for her still made the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end.
"Oh yes, I want this more than anything," she whispered.
As they strolled home, arms locked around each other, Samia began to feel the nervousness welling up in her belly once again. She'd dreamed of them together, but would he think badly of her for being so forward? She silently admitted to herself that the biggest concern she had was that with her having no experience with men that she wouldn't match up, that she wouldn't be able to satisfy a man such as him.
They opened the gate and started up the path.
"Let's sit on the terrace for a while and watch the sun go down," said Ardeth. He'd noticed her quivering as they'd neared the house and decided to slow the pace a little to put her at ease.
He settled himself down on a large deckchair on the terrace and pulled Samia down in front of him, wrapping his arm around her waist whilst lovingly stroking her hair with the other, wanting to stroke away all her fears of him. To his comfort she eventually started to relax.
"I want to ask you something Samia," he said seriously. "Something I've been working up the courage for most of the day," he said smiling.
"What is it?" asked Samia as she turned herself sideways and looked into his eyes.
She looked so beautiful and trusting as he pulled her closer to his chest and took a deep breath.
"I want, well I hope that you want also..............I want you to come home to Egypt with me, I mean with me and Hamid."
Samia's heart soared, could it be that her wildest dreams were about to come true? Could she finally put the last few years of running and hiding behind her?
Not yet, she couldn't put the inbred cautiousness and distrust to sleep, it just wouldn't go away so easily. Her heart did a bellyflop and landed back in the pit of her stomach as she realized that things just didn't fall on a platter for her. They never had done before, so who was she to think that they would now?
"Back to Egypt? With you and Hamid? In what capacity would that be?" she asked sadly. "Do you wish to take me back as a carer for Hamid?"
"NO," he shouted, outraged. That was not my intention at all. Samia, I want you to be with me."
Nag nag nag, the feelings still wouldn't go away, as hard as she tried to push them out. The feelings of self doubt, self worth and utter despair were deep rooted.
"As your what? your companion? your lover? your mistress maybe?" she asked bitterly, remembering a long time ago a conversation she'd overheard between a high ranking Madjai's wife and her mother. The woman was practically commiserating with Samia's mother at the misfortune of not having a purebred Medjai child to offer in marriage. The best she could hope for was that someone would take her as a second or third wife, her being a halfbreed and all.
Ardeth immediately pulled Samia to her feet, his eyes blazing with rage, his breath ragged.
"What sort of a man do you think I am Samia? Do you honestly think I would take you back as my.......as my hoar, because that's what you've just implied. Do you really think so little of yourself?"
His fingers were digging into the tender flesh of her upper arms and she felt all the strength of the mighty warrior now towering over her, but her face remained impassive. Looking at him, seeing his utter outrage at what she'd just said, she slowly started to realize that she'd completely misread his intentions towards her, but these thoughts of hers just hadn't come up and slapped her in the face, they'd been eating away at her for a while. Her questions needed answers before she could let out her true feelings for Ardeth.
Ardeth eased his grip on her as he saw the look of torment taking over in her eyes. "Do you not realize? Can you really not realize how I feel about you Samia?" he implored, pushing the thoughts that she may not feel the same way about him to the back of his mind. "Come inside, we have much to say to each other."
As Ardeth turned away from her and walked inside the house, Samia took a last look at the sun as it's lingering last rays disappeared beyond the horizon. She took a deep breath before following her heart and walking inside, closing the door behind her and shutting out the rest of the world.
Ardeth was kindling the fire, and as it sprang to life she noticed a few strands of gray in his glossy hair that had been illuminated by the glow of the firelight. 'I'd never noticed those before' she thought, realizing that before she went any further with Ardeth she had to learn so much more about him, and he about her.
"Where do we start Samia?" he said as he settled down in front of the fire. "What can I do or say to convince you to believe and trust me?"
"Tell me about your family Ardeth, your parents, how you grew up, just start from the beginning," she smiled.
"From the beginning? hmmm," he sighed.
"I'm the youngest of four children, the only male child of Hakim and Jamilla Bay. I think they'd all but given up on having a son. My father was in his fifties when I was born," he smiled, uncoiling his long legs and lying down on the hearthrug, propping his head up on a large cushion.
"They must've been over the moon when you arrived," said Samia.
"Oh yes, I was the source of much rejoicing, not only within my family, but by the tribes also," he laughed. "But at no time did my parents or my sisters spoil me, well occasionally my mother did, but only when my father was out of earshot," he grinned.
"Were things always clear cut for you? Were you always reminded of your duty and your importance to the Medjai?" asked Samia.
"By my father and the elders yes. I was always expected to learn quicker, excell more. My training was so much more intense than others of my age. My father thought it fitting that I was pitched up against the older boys and proved my skills early." he sighed.
"That must have been difficult for you," sympathized Samia.
"I know my mother must've been fed up with comstantly stitching me up in the early days, but my father reasoned that it would build character, and to a certain extent I think it did. Not that I would necessarily choose that course of action for Hamid," he said, after noticing the wary look on Samia's face. "Times are changing Samia, and I've learned to change with them."
Samia found herself relaxing by the moment, his candour and honesty chipping away slowly at the wall she'd built around herself. She was thankful he bore her no malice for her lack of faith in him.
"Don't get me wrong, I loved my father and I never felt anything but love from him. I didn't realize it then, it only came to me a few years later, but he knew he was dying for some years before it actually came to pass. All the excess training and schooling was driven by a sense of urgency on his part, not knowing just how much time he had left," he sighed.
"Ardeth I........." Samia started before being interrupted.
"He knew that to pass on the leadership of the Medjai to me when I was not yet ready, when I was unprepared would have meant certain disaster. Not only for myself, but for the whole of the Medjai. I came to understand that he pushed me so because he loved me so."
Samia could see Ardeth's love for his father shining through and was heartened by it.
"When he died, I think a part of me died with him, as I'm sure a part of you went to the next life at your father's side."
"You've got that right," Samia said sadly. "Please, go on," she whispered.
"I took over the leadership of the Medjai at the age of eighteen. Much to young in some of the elders opinions. They would have liked to elect a consort at least until I reached the age of twenty one. But, I dug my heels in and eventually proved my worth to them," he sighed. "I can't say it wasn't a struggle though. There were many who thought that a leader so young would make an easy target. It was a time of unrest within the tribes, some were battling for change, some clinging on to the old ways, just as moss clings to a stone."
"I remember only too well the many battles within the tribes," sighed Samia. "A great many of the elders were somewhat less than pleased that my father had married an outsider. My mother told me that very few people even gave her the time of day for the first few years after her arrival," Samia said sadly.
Ardeth suddenly realized that a lot of Samia's fears were grounded on this. "Is that what you fear also, that no-one will accept you?" he said, gently cupping her chin in the palm of his hand.
Samia nodded. "I was once called a half breed and my mother told that my only use and only chance of making a marriage within the Medjai would be as a second or third wife. It's ironic really that the half breed finally became useful for that very fact."
"Samia, when I said times had changed, you can take that as the truth, you must believe me. I would never put you in a position that would cause people to scorn you," he answered.
"But as Chief, surely you must have re-married after your wife had died. I would have been expected of you," she argued.
Ardeth smiled and chuckled slightly. "Ah," he said. "So you think I'm already married do you?"
"Well, I, I didn't know and............" she stuttered.
"You were afraid to ask?" he questioned. "I'm not married Samia, I probably did buck the old system, but I never wanted more than one wife."
"Do you still love her then? Is that why you never married again."
"Oh Samia, when I married Khadija, it was with the sole purpose of uniting two of the tribes and producing an heir. Both she and I knew that. I was younger then, I didn't question the ways and hadn't then learned to move with the times as I have now. We cared and respected each other and she'll always hold a special place in my heart for she gave birth to my son. But, I always knew that she didn't love me, nor I her. We both thought that maybe one day love would grow on us, that one day maybe we'd wake up and it would be there, but we never got the chance. She died shortly after Hamid was born as you know. The one comfort I have is that she said she'd been happy with me and that she regretted nothing. For that I truly respected her. She also wanted me to go out and seek true love and was sorry that we couldn't have found it within our marriage, as was I."
Ardeth's eyes had misted over slightly and a few tears hovered on his dark lashes. Samia knew his words to be true and felt the tears stinging her own eyes. This man in front of her wanted nothing more than a chance to love, a chance to build a family life. And what had she done? all but thrown it back in his face.
"Ardeth," she croaked. "I'm so, so sorry for doubting your intentions, please forgive me. It's just that I've been on my own for so long, it seems like forever. I don't know how to let go and let someone else into my heart."
"I know," said Ardeth as he rolled over on the floor and took her into his arms. "I know."
"Will you help me?" she whispered.
"I will, but only if you'll do something for me in return," he smiled.
"Ardeth, I love you, I'll do anything you ask," she blurted out.
Allah be praised, she'd admitted her love for him. His heart was close to bursting.
"Samia, think very carefully as to your answer, as it'll stay your answer for life. I want you to decide from your heart, not from your willingness to please me. You have to really want this as much as I."
Samia's eyes were like saucers as it suddenly dawned on her what his question would be.
"Samia, I never knew love before I met you, and you have to know that I do love you, with all my heart. I want you to come home with me, not as a carer for Hamid, not as my mistress, but as the woman who's finally unlocked a frozen heart. I want you to come home with me as my wife Samia."