Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. They inspired me to write more (instead of work…so it looks like I will be working late tonight!)
Second chapter. I added a little twist. No fic is good without some angst right? Well one that lasts pretty long. I hope you like it. And don't worry----there's more to come.
Hyde walked down the corner slowly to Donna's house. Hell, he didn't even know if Jackie would be here. He hoped she was. He couldn't believe what had just happened. How could things like that happen so quickly? One minute, he's eating cereal, and the next minute he's seeing Kelso kissing Jackie, his Jackie, not Kelso's Jackie.
See that was the one thing that always surfaced in his mind. There was Kelso's Jackie and his Jackie. They were so different. Sure, they were still both whiny and spoiled and could drive him nuts, but when it was his Jackie, it was okay. Somehow Hyde could never make the transition in his mind that they were the same person. That his Jackie had the same experiences as Kelso's Jackie. That his Jackie had ever been with Kelso. Damn, as much as he hated to admit it, it disgusted him to think about that. So that's why it was easier to just distinguish the two. That's why it infuriated him when she called him her boyfriend. For the obvious reasons, of course, but also because it didn't fit. His Jackie was not supposed to feel anything for Kelso.
Still he forgave her and tried to move on, because after all, he really cared for his Jackie. And she loved him. Love, damn. He had never heard those words from anyone. Sure Mrs. Foreman had said it many times, but he knew she was just a caring woman who had taken him in. She loved Eric, she cared for Hyde. So when Jackie said those words, as much as he was fuming inside from the boyfriend comment, it took him aback. She LOVED him? He knew then that as hard as it could be, he would take her back. As long as it was his Jackie, not Kelso's. He didn't, couldn't say it back. He wasn't even sure how he felt. He really cared about her, but love? Okay, if you have never believed in the concept before, it's not going to just materialize all of a sudden. But last night he had felt as close to love as he thought he could.
And then he called her a whore. Damn, that's a strong word. Because he knew what a whore was. His mom. Edna. Ever since he saw her trampsing around the house, wasted, running off with whoever would take her in, he knew what that word meant. And yet, he had no trouble being with his share of them. But he never had to know anything more about them. It was like one time, and bye, no problems, no history, nothing. Because the worst part about his mom is that she used those men to find affection and love. Affection and love she could never show her son because she needed it from a man. She was needy and that was the worst kind of whore. But in the instance he saw Jackie and Kelso kissing that morning, he felt what he had always felt about Kelso's Jackie. NEED. She needed his attention, she needed to control him and she needed him by her side, no matter how many times he cheated on her. Just like Edna took back any loser who treated her bad. Including his dad. That always pissed him off about Kelso's Jackie. She made him mad, but he still felt the need to protect her from that. He didn't want Kelso's Jackie to turn out like Edna.
And then they got together. And as much as he tried to fight it, she got to him. Kelso's Jackie? No, no. She wasn't Kelso's Jackie anymore, and she became his Jackie. A calmer, less whiny Jackie who didn't need all the attention, but who knew when to stand her ground. As much as he complained out loud, he respected that. His Jackie was different. As he got to Donna's front door, he realized he needed to get his Jackie back.
He knocked on the door and no one answered. He let himself in and called –Hello? Bob? Jackie?
Bob emerged from the kitchen.
B-Hi Steven. I think I heard her go upstairs. You can go ahead but you better come down in 10 minutes, wait make that five.
H-Okay Bob,---Hyde said with a smile. Man his mind was dirty!
Hyde walked up the stairs. He knocked on Donna's door and walked in. Jackie was sitting at the window, looking out.
H-Jackie? Hey.
Jackie didn't answer. She just turned around and looked at him. Hyde had expected her to be angry or crying but she had this calm dazed look on her face.
J-Steven, she said simply, with no trace of anything in her voice.
H-Jackie, look I am, I am, look um….
J-yes?----Hyde thought he would at least get a smile form that since she always teased him that he couldn't ever admit he was wrong. But she simply stared straight in his eyes. Her stare was so piercing, he felt like she was looking through him.
H-Damn, Jackie I am so sorry. I know that was a total mix-up and I didn't mean what I said.
J-Uh, huh.
H-Look Jackie I am trying to apologize here. I know what was out there was a big confused mess and that Kelso's an idiot. I know you didn't do anything.
J-So you talked to Michael?
H- well yeah, Eric, Donna and I…
Jackie sighed. A long heavy sigh.
J-So Eric and Donna asked him?
H- well yeah and I was there.
J- Steven, did you ever once think it wasn't what it seemed?
H_Yeah, Jackie, I am trying to tell you that I know now.
J-But if Eric and Donna hadn't been there would you have found out? Or would you have just blamed me and walked away?
H-I, um, well what does it matter?
J-Look Steven I understand that you were upset and you had every right to be. I would have totally flipped if I had seen that.
H-So you realize that…
J-But, I would have asked you first. You never even gave me a chance to talk!
H-well…he mumbled off.
J-It's more than that Steven. I love you, and last night was one of the best nights of my life. But I just can't shake this feeling that you don't and will never trust me. It's not just that you don't trust me, you don't trust us or who I am.
With that, Hyde exploded. He had seen Kelso kissing her and she was blaming him for something! He had apologized to her. He took her back when she called Kelso her boyfriend and she was asking him about trust.
H-You are so full of crap Jackie! Damn..just when I think you have changed, there you go turning into Kelso's Jackie.----As the words escaped his mouth, he realized his thoughts had come out. He had never said those words aloud.
J-What? What does that mean?
H-Turning into a needy, selfish brat.
Instead of blowing up, Jackie just sighed again and sat on the bed.
J-Steven, you're right. There are things I need. I need you to trust that I am totally and 100 percent committed to you. I need you to know that I am not Kelso's and never will be again. And I need you to realize that you are not the only one who has issues. My dad is in prison and my mom is too busy getting drunk to remember she has a daughter! I know you're "Hyde" with your zen and your government and orphan issues, but you are not the only one with problems. Don't you think these things affect me, affect us just as much as your problems do?
H-Jackie..
J-Wait. I just need you to give a little. Because I am tired, emotionally. I try to give for my dad, my mom, for you, and all I need is a little in return. Is that so much to ask? Is it so much for you to understand that I need to know how you are feeling sometimes?
H-Jackie is this about me not saying it back? Because….
J-Steven, this is not about words. Its just you acknowledging that you feel anything except some weird possessiveness over Kelso. I just need you to be here, right where I am.
She stared at him intently. He wanted to take her in his arms, and let her know that he knew she was in pain about her parents, that he knew how it felt and that he was there for her. He wanted to tell her that he knew he acted aloof and he wanted to change, and that he would in his own way, if she was patient. He wanted to tell her that he had been starting to see her as just Jackie, not his or Kelso's but her own strong person who chose to be with him. He wanted to, but something wouldn't let him. Fear or anger or pride? He didn't know. But all he said was
H-Well, what I need is to get the hell out of here.
With that he left. Jackie didn't try to go after him. She sighed one more time and looked down. Another person walking out. Too afraid to face their own feelings or responsibilities. She used to be like that, hell she still was. She pushed away thoughts of her parents constantly. But with Steven, she had let it all out just then. She thought it would be the right thing to do. That maybe it would give him a glimpse of who she was and what she felt they both needed. Instead she had just pushed him away. Maybe she knew he would do that all along. But she had hoped that he would just at least acknowledge her feelings and instead, he had just walked away. She started to regret her words, but she stood firm. He had to know what she was feeling. It wasn't like Michael, where she had tried to put words in his mouth. She really wanted Steven to tell her what he felt, whatever it was. It didn't have to be perfect. A tear slid down her cheek as she recalled her earlier thoughts. She didn't need flowers or poetry, just Steven, Zen and all.
In the basement, Hyde and Fez.
F-Hyde, what is wrong? I have come up with three amusing and dirty stories about Nina and I and I have barely heard a peep! Fez threw his hands up in disgust.
H- Sorry, Fez.
F_What is it? Trouble with you and Jackie and the whoopy?
H-Fez, get bent.
F-Fine, I am going where I am appreciated. To the candy store! ---exits
Kelso walked down the stairs from the house, yelling "Eric there better be fudgesicles down here!"
He sees Hyde and starts to run up the stairs.
H-Kelso, look don't worry. I'm not going to pound you. I should, but I won't.
K-Huh? Are you sick? Where's Hyde?
H-Really you probably did me a favor.
K-What are you talking about?
H- I tried to apologize to her and she threw it in my face. Tried to get me to tell her how I felt about her. She didn't even get mad, that's all she wanted. Man, that girl is nuts.
K-wait, you called Jackie a whore for doin something she didn't do, and she didn't get mad or cry or make you feel bad so you had to buy her stuff..
H-No.
K-Wow, it must be love.
H-What the hell are you talking about Kelso?
K- Look Hyde, this is against my better judgment since I don't like seeing Jackie with anyone, but Jackie's a great girl. I mean we know she's hot and great in bed…
H-Don't push it Kelso.
K-But Jackie has always been really sweet and caring. I mean she always bought me stuff and was fun to hang out with
H- sounds like a dream relationship.
K-All I mean is I lost her because I was stupid. I don't know if we were right for each other, but I know she deserved to be treated better. And now she thought she found it with you. So don't disappoint her. Or I may have to pound you, he grinned.
H-Righhhhhttt….
K-Well see ya!
H-Kelso
K-Yeah?
H-Thanks.
He had to find her. He had to do it. He had to just tell her what she meant to him. It would take him shoving every ounce of pride that he had but he would do it. He realized that she didn't want to change him, as she had tried to change Kelso, but that she did accept him for what it was. Just as he wanted her to give a little, he would have to too. It was not be his proudest moment, but hell that's what men do, right? IF they want to keep their women? Even Red does it. He wouldn't be a pansy like Foreman, but he wasn't stupid enough to let Jackie walk away. Jackie, not his or Kelso's but the Jackie who loved him.
Hope you liked this chapter! I will work at getting the rest up but I need to get inspired more. Please review---they keep me going.