Disclaimer: We don't own Buffy, or CSI, or any other show. However, we DO own Brichelle, Alyssa, Jonah, Damon, Damon's girl friend, Mr. Melder, and everybody else who is based in reality.
When The Sky Turned OrangeWarning - Read first: If you prefer stories that are happy, comprehensive, and morally correct, you have come to the wrong place. This story contains sexual innuendo, torture scenes, a convoluted plat, and several purely inside jokes. It is not too late to read something else.
The protagonists of our story, Brichelle, Alyssa, and Jonas, are loosely based on real high school students. Damon and his girl friend are also "real", yet not main characters. Our "heroes" are prone to be distracted and giggly. Brichelle and Alyssa, in particular, enjoyed their adventure immensely because of their obsession with Buffy, Lord of the Rings, CSI, Star Trek, the X-Files, etc, (which we don't own).
If you still care, the rest of the story is pretty informal. But we thought we'd give you an official warning. Still there? Okay, story starting… Now!
Chapter 1Brichelle, Alyssa, and Jonah were dying slowly of boredom in their grade ten math class one day, when suddenly the sunlight was blotted completely out by hundreds of thousands of circling ravens.
"What's going on?" shouted Mr. Melder, as several very attractive male vampires burst snarling through the classroom door.
"Oh my God!" yelled Alyssa. "Wait! I don't believe in God!"
A nearby student jumped to his feet and instantly collapsed to the floor while sobbing, "Don't eat me! I'm too muscly."
Brichelle sighed and began to explain exasperatedly that vampires never ate their victims anyway.
In the midst of the confusion, the vampires hovered towards her and the leader (who resembled Viggo Mortensen, sexy portrayer of Aragorn) pointed to her and said, "We have been waiting."
"Bloody Hell, I know that!" snapped Brichelle sharply. "You don't have to be so melodramatic." The head vampire looked sheepish and muttered something unintelligible.
Jonah rolled his eyes at Alyssa, who was having a fit of giggles in the corner, and trying to revive Mr. Melder, who had fainted. Brichelle was having trouble not giggling herself, especially when Spike swaggered in and kissed her on the mouth.
That was when Jonah turned beet red. "Let-go-of-my-girl," he snarled, rather incoherently. All present were suddenly silent, except for Alyssa, who was now rolling on the floor in total hysterics. Between bursts of laughter, she choked out "I knew it… I knew it!"
"WHAT?" Jonah yelled and rushed out the room.
"Who was that? Poncy git. Reminds me of Dru a little," said Spike, between kisses.
Brichelle sighed. "That was my crush," she said wistfully. Then she backhanded Spike into the wall. Alyssa began to hyperventilate.
"What is so funny?" Brichelle yelled. Spike got of the floor, bit a nameless student, and began to confer with the head vamp. Brichelle turned to Spike. "I thought you had a soul now?" she bit, shocked at his behavior.
Spike then began to sob uncontrollably, babbling to the chalkboard and slamming himself autistically into the wall.
"Yep, he has a soul," Alyssa proclaimed.
"You can talk!" the Viggo looking vampire exclaimed.
"Umm, yeah…but…um?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you get the ravens out of the way?"
"No," Spike answered, ceasing his masochistic behavior. "'Cause then we would fry."
"Oh…too bad," Alyssa said as she exited the room. Brichelle knocked Spike and Viggo's heads together and followed her friends out into the hallway at a run. Jonah was gibbering. Alyssa was giggling.
"I'm glad to see you two will be so much help," snarled Brichelle sarcastically.
"Oh?" Alyssa said, catching her breath. "And since when is there a problem? Apart from Jonah here and the fact that vampires are overrunning our school, I see no problem. And besides, last time I looked, you were thoroughly enjoying yourself."
"It's not MY fault Spike happened to be here. Last time I looked, Viggo there was sending you glances that you seemed to enjoy!"
"Touché, however I didn't get 'close' or 'comfortable' with Viggo there."
By now this had turned into a shrieking fit. Actually, Brichelle was fuming, while Alyssa was blushing but coolly controlling her temper.
"At least I had the sense to bang the suckers heads together!" Brichelle squealed in anger.
Alyssa started laughing again.
"Ha ha. You called them suckers. Bloodsuckers! Ha ha!" Soon Brichelle was giggling too. The sight of the two of them acting normally abnormal was just enough to snap Jonah back to his senses.
"Wasn't that Aragorn and the guy from Buffy?" he asked, somehow managing to sound cocky and sarcastic despite the fact that he was trembling like a leaf.
"Yeah, Spike," said the girls in unison.
"Whatever. I don't watch that show, it's too stupid," snapped Jonah.
Alyssa sighed. "Hey, if Spike's in the school, couldn't that mean Giles is in the library?"
"Hmm… you may be right…"
Alyssa's conscious awareness seemed to dissipate at that moment.
"Snap out of it!" said Brichelle, punching her in the shoulder.
"Hey! I was just thinking!"
"Yeah, we noticed."
"I have an idea!" Alyssa exclaimed. "Let's go to the library to see if Giles is there and maybe he can help us solve this!"
"Oh, genius!" said Brichelle sarcastically. "It took you long enough to think up that wonderful plan!"
"Hey, Lord of the Rings expert! Do you know how to say 'how are you' in Elvish?" All three turned around to see Damon Full, a Grade 12 student, coming right towards them down the hallway.
"You, how the Hell ?!?" spluttered Brichelle.
"Huh?" Jonah asked, confused
"Yeah," said Alyssa, "It's 'sut naa le', but…umm…what are you doing here?"
Damon looked baffled. Then he seemed to recover his equilibrium. "Do you know you have the prettiest little neck?" he murmured seductively, draping him over Alyssa.
"What?" she snapped, caught off guard. Damon kissed her throat. Finally, Brichelle realized what was going on. She spun Damon's head around just as he vamped out. Alyssa, who had figured it out at the same moment, kicked backwards into his groin. Brichelle and Alyssa proceeded to beat him into a pulp, aided by Jonah, who was holding him down, apparently accepting the situation at last.
Just before Brichelle could stake him with a pencil, though, Alyssa cried out, "No!"
She whispered something in Brichelle's ear. Brichelle nodded, and they hog-tied Damon with a rope that appeared from nowhere.
"Where did that come from?" Jonah yelped. "And what is going on?"
"Well, as for the rope, we seem to be witches in this reality. Real witches. We took the rope out of a worldpool."
"A whirlpool?" asked Jonah, more perplexed than ever.
"No, no, a worldpool. They're alternate realities in our heads. They have apparently become…you, know physical. I mean, supernatural stuff is happening all over, so we're taking advantage."
Jonah struggled for a few tense seconds to absorb this unexpected bit of news. He quickly gave up in disgust. As far as he could see, this was all nonsense. And it didn't answer his question.
"So… CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?" he repeated, rather too loudly.
"Sure. We'll explain on the way to the library," said Brichelle, raising her eyebrows at him. "It's time to visit Alyssa's fifty year old crush."
Jonah looked as though he might explode from curiosity, frustration, and amusement.
"He's NOT MY CRUSH!" yelled Alyssa. "Well, I like him but…"
"But?" Jonah asked, positively intrigued that Alyssa was human. He had never thought of her as anything, just something that followed his Brichelle around…his Brichelle? He shook his head.
"What?" Brichelle asked, catching the subtle shake.
"I…uh…still don't know what's going on?" he concluded after much stammering. Brichelle stepped forward to Jonah, close enough to feel his racing pulse. His ragged breathing surrounded her. Unintentionally, she brushed her fingers across his face. Laughter broke through their moment and Brichelle whirled around to see Alyssa tickling Damon, who was wriggling on the floor.
"Who knew he was ticklish?" Alyssa smirked and returned to attacking Damon.
"ALYSSA!" Brichelle yelled. "You seem highly attached to him, so you'll have the honor of dragging him to the library. And we'll see what your fifty year old crush thinks of you."
"Oh shut up."
So they slowly (very slowly) started going down the stairs, because Alyssa was "carefully" dragging Damon. However, when they got to the last few steps, Alyssa just pushed him down.
"Hey, why did you do that?!?" Damon yelled, outraged.
"I'm tired," Alyssa said casually as she turned to Brichelle and Jonah, who were smirking.
Alyssa glared and said, "For that you guys can drag him to the library."
"Why?"
Alyssa gave them a look. "Will I have to tell Giles about Spike's overtures?"
"What?" yelled Brichelle. "It's not as if Giles cares that Spike was trying to SEDUCE me! Someone probably ORDERED him to, so that it would be easier to recruit me. So Giles most likely already knows. If anything, you should threaten to tell Buffy. Spike is all for her, which you are well aware of! "
Alyssa folded her arms.
"Actually," she stated coolly, "I don't follow the show anymore. And recruit you? HA! For what?"
"Ask Giles! I bet he knows!"
Jonah just sighed and began to absentmindedly kick Damon into the library. Damon chose this point to speak up.
"Sheesss right! Recruitsesss they wantssss. I knowssess, I knowssess!"
"Shut up, bloodsucker," snapped Jonah, kicking him a bit more viciously.