Goku finally let the thing drop, too tired to get out of the way when the mountains of sand washed over him. He could hear the thunderous thud of Vegeta doing it on the other side, then Krillin dropping the back. Goku leaned against the furry side and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm. Vegeta had the energy to walk away from the beast a little before collapsing. Krillin made it to the top of their load and wiped his eyes before settling down.

"Can you see camp from up there?" Goku asked as he slid down to the ground, not bothering to wipe away the sand that stuck to his sweaty body.

Krillin looked up slowly, then sat up so fast he made himself dizzy. "Yeah! It's not even that far!"

Goku -- who had laid down by now, or more accurately FELL down -- couldn't bring himself to get up. Vegeta casually looked over and his eyes widened.

"For once he's right, Kakorrot. It's barely a thousand meters from here." Goku grabbed ahold of the coarse, wiry fur and pulled himself up to look. Vegeta was right. He could see the ship, broken door and all.

"Well, then I guess we can rest for a while. This damn thing is heavy," Krillin said as he laid his head down. "I can't wait to fry this sucker for causing so much damn trouble." He yawned and smiled at the thought.

"This thing being heavy is the understatement of the century," Goku said as he allowed himself to slip back down. "If this takes the three of us at near maximum power to carry HALF of it, then there's no word for how heavy it is." Vegeta grunted an agreement. "What the hell is it anyway?"

"Looks like a deer to me. Only about a thousand times bigger and a million times heavier," Krillin murmmered from his spot on their dinner. "Not to mention it could probably cook itself out here."

"No kidding. If I didn't know better I'd think we landed in the Sahara back on Earth."

Vegeta looked up. "What's that?"

"Basically the biggest desert on the whole damn planet," Krillin answered. "And growing."

"You can't eat the Sahara, Krillin."

Krillin didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes. "Desert, Goku. Not DESSERT. DESERT. As in big sandy place that's hot."

"Oh." Krillin shook his head and rolled off the stag, ignoring the dust that threatened to get in his eyes.

"We should get back. I don't want Bulma to get any more pissed off at us."

"It's not like she could hurt you," Vegeta snorted. "Why are you so afraid of her?"

"You mean you don't know by now? I have a thing about people bitching at me. I hate it. Which is why Bulma picked it up as her favorite hobby." Krillin glared at the prince. "Come on."

Vegeta looked at Krillin like he was going to say something, but he just shrugged and rose gracefully, much different from Goku. When he went to pick up his end, Goku stopped him with some more news.

"Guys? I have a question. How are we going to get it up the hills?" Goku asked innocently.

"We don't need to, Kakorrot," Vegeta said, trying to have patience with the other warrior. "There's a valley up there."

Goku walked around to see what Vegeta was looking at and shook his head. "It's too small. This thing won't fit through."

"Why don't we just cut it in half again?" Krillin suggested. "It's not like it's going to just walk away. If we need more we can come back and get it."

"It's already starting to rot, Krillin. And with the way we eat, this is gonna last us about a week. At most," Goku pointed out. "Otherwise we would."

Vegeta finally gritted his teeth and blasted the hills and mountains of sand. "Problem solved," he said, picking up the beast with renewed energy.

"Adrenaline. Such a wonderful drug," Krillin said as he hoisted his part with some difficulty. "Let's move out!" Vegeta only scowled but obeyed. It was just easier to listen to the munchkin than to argue right now.

When they dropped the thing for the final time, Krillin felt his knees go weak and he fell against it. "I can't wait to cook this thing and..." He was so tired he couldn't finish his sentence. "Forget that. I CAN wait. After I get some sleep."

"Man, this place is trashed," Goku said as he wandered toward the ship. "Bulma must've gotten REALLY mad this time."

"That woman couldn't have done all this," Vegeta protested, coming up behind Goku.

"Well, half of it is her putting stuff together while the other half is tearing things apart," Krillin muttered as he rubbed his eyes. "If she wants to kill me, she can do it while I sleep. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Krillin, it's barely noon." Goku looked at the sky for affirmation and saw the sun was right overhead.

Krillin waved his hand as he went back in the ship. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. Good night, good morning, I'll see you tomorrow."

Goku shook his head. "Where's Bulma anyway? I thought she'd be yelling at us by now."

"She probably went to take a bath," Vegeta said, wrinkling his nose. "But I think you could ask them."

============================================

Bulma struggled to get free and only knocked something else off the belt of the blue man carrying her. "Dammit!" she swore as she reached for the knife he had tucked in the leather, and knocked that to the ground as well.

"Don't you ever shut up?" he asked, bored with all her kicking and screaming. Even though they were a good fifteen feet above the ground, any rookie could follow their trail.

"No. Unless you let me go." He shrugged and dropped her, smiling a little as she screamed. But then he noticed that she was grinning up at him as she hit the ground and took off back toward the ship. He swooped down to pick her up. Bulma groaned and propped her elbows on his arm and put her head in her hands.

"You're more cunning than I thought," he admitted.

"And you're more of a bastard than I thought. What's your point?" she asked in a monotone of defeat.

"I still think you're a Saiyan."

"I'm not even going to get into that again," Bulma said, flicking a pebble off his arm. "You think what you want. I don't even care anymore. It's not like I'm gonna get out of this mess anyway. Not unless Goku gets some brains, Krillin can convince Vegeta not to be a pompous bastard, and Vegeta agrees that the planet is worth NOT blowing up."

"Did you know you alternate between the two languages when you're angry?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. My mother told me that since I learned Namek. Now excuse me, I'm busy feeling miserable, and I would like it if you didn't interrupt."

"As you wish," he said, and was silent the rest of the journey. Bulma continued to mope, occasionally sneaking glances at the stony face. She shivered at how much he was like Vegeta.

Once in awhile she would swat at something in his belt or smack him or something. "Man," she complained so he couldn't understand. "Why are all the cute guys ones that insist on killing me? And why are they so cheerful before they try?" She jabbed at his side again and shook her head. "This is gonna be a LONG day."

============================================

Confused, Goku looked over his shoulder at the two tall creatures standing in the doorway. Even with Saiyan eyes he couldn't quite make out who -- or, more importantly, WHAT -- they were. He immediately went on the defensive, glaring at the shadowy figures.

"Hey, guys! You know what these are doing here?"

Goku raised an eyebrow as Krillin stepped out, carrying what almost looked like two brooms loaded with things none of them had seen before. He put down his hands and shook his head at his best friend. Even Vegeta relaxed a little.

"Cueball, what are you doing?"

Krillin looked at Vegeta. "You know, we have NAMES. I am Krillin, he is Goku, and our only way home is missing. Who also happens to be Bulma." He turned to Goku and added, "She's not in there, and the whole place is more destroyed than she could've done."

"Great. So she's missing again? Damn that woman."

"Shut up Vegeta," Krillin snapped. "I'm sick of it."

Goku stared at him in amazement. "Krillin, what has gotten into you lately?"

Krillin rubbed the back of his head. "I've been homesick since we got to Namek. Now I'm homesick AND have cabin fever. I dunno. I just want to get OUT of here is all."

"Then I suggest you keep you mouth shut if you want to live," Vegeta threatened. "Patience is not one of my finer qualities."

Before Krillin could make another crack at the Saiyan warrior, Goku put a hand over his mouth and smiled. "We'll stay here until nightfall. If she's not back then we'll look for her in the morning."

"Since when did I start taking orders from you?" Vegeta asked calmly.

"Since you figured out you needed us to get away from Namek," Goku shot back. "We can do it alone if you want, but it'll get us out of here faster if you help us look. It's always your choice. I just hope you help." With that, Goku turned his back and went inside. "Now, I wonder if she has any more cake around here."

"Why is he so stupid most of the time, yet so serious and... intelligent at others?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out forever. At least he's not a girl. Then you'd have to put up with the weird mood swings every other minute along with trying to figure out how he thinks." Krillin shrugged. "I gave up a long time ago." Vegeta only gave him a blank look and Krillin sighed. "You'll find out when we get to Earth."

"Everyone keeps telling me that."

"That's because we can't explain it. The only way to learn is from experience, and the only way to do that is ON Earth." He shrugged. "You'll understand when you get there."

Vegeta scowled. "Earth sounds like a nuisance to me," he growled. "I think Kakorrot should've just blown up the whole damn thing and gotten rid of it like he was supposed to."

"The only good thing is that it would've gotten rid of Bulma, and it's not worth it. The rest is just human nature. Something you'll just have to live with unless Bulma makes you another ship to get back to wherever you came from." He scratched his head. "Yep. That one of your buddy's got blown up, Goku's was destroyed, and this one is gonna be totally useless by the time we get back." He put his hand down and grinned. "Between now and then I suggest you study up on Earth customs." He patted Vegeta on the shoulder and joined Goku inside.

Arms crossed, Vegeta scowled even deeper. "Stupid humans. Who needs them anyway?" He kicked at the dust, then remembered he wanted to talk to Goku. "Oh, Kakorrot!" he called threateningly into the ship. "I think you might be interested in something."

============================================

"Goddamn it! Put me down!"

Blue unceremoniously dropped Bulma on the hard-packed dirt floor and smiled at her. She picked herself up carefully, wiped the dust off her arms, then punched him in the chest, glaring.

"Where the hell am I, and what am I doing here?"

"You'll see." He took her gently by the arm and led her through the labyrinth of corridors. Bulma was amazed at the look to this place. It was like the tent of a high priest in Egypt during Bible times, yet it was the size of a bigtop three-ring circus tent and the inside was slathered with stone hallways that criss-crossed everywhere. And she knew from the several times she got slammed against the walls to get her to shut up that they were very hard and very solid.

"Kami," she swore as she jerked away from the cool stone. Again. "Do you MIND?"

"Not really." His response was cool and held a tint of humor, just as hers usually were.

"Now I know how Vegeta feels," she muttered. That made him stop, even though she didn't. She walked right into a corner.

Before she could say anything, he asked nervously, "You know Vegeta?"

"Unfortunately," she said, rolling her eyes. "He's the biggest, most ANNOYING, LITTLE bastard that I--" She got cut off by a hand over her mouth. She yanked it away and turned her attention back to him. "Don't touch me! He knows! I've TOLD him. Many times, in fact. So don't you think YOU scare me."

"And you're still alive?"

"You're either dumber than you look, or..." She shook her head. "Never mind. You wouldn't understand it anyway. Too many big words for your little brain."

He scowled at her. "At least they will be pleased with such a spirited gift."

"EXCUSE me!" She stomped on his foot. "I keep hearing shit about a goddamn gift! How about elaborating on that?"

"What?"

"Tell me more!" she screamed, frustrated. Her fists clenched and she growled. "Now, before I lose control and KILL you!"

He rolled his eyes but answered anyway. "You might call it a sacrifice. Burnt offering. Whatever."

Bulma -- for one of the first times in her life -- was speechless. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she found her voice. "So," she finally croaked out. "I'm gonna become a barbecue for some alien god because I like to yell a lot." He thought that over then nodded. "Goku! Krillin! Help me!" She yelled in her native language. "Oh, hell, I'll even let Vegeta, but dammit, HELP!"

============================================

Krillin and Goku walked side-by-side along the trail left by Bulma and whoever took her. "Well, they sure had a hard time," Krillin said as he picked up a few scattered weapons now and again. "I wonder who was stupid enough to kidnap her."

"Obviously the inhabitants of this planet," Vegeta snorted. Then he stopped and looked up over a nearby mountain of sand. His eyes widened in recognition and he smirked. "And I think I know where she is."

"How?" Goku asked as he picked up a knife by the blade and flipping it to hold it by the handle. He adjusted his course to follow Vegeta.

"Where the hell are you guys going?" Krillin demanded harshly. "It goes THIS way!"

"Shut up, Cueball. This was the planet I got shipped off to this planet to begin my training. I've basically lived here since I was eight years old. I think I know my way around. But you two will need to be a distraction anyway. If I remember correctly, there ARE some things here you don't want to fight in huge numbers."

Krillin raised a skeptical eyebrow but shrugged and went after the Saiyans. "You better be right."

============================================

Bulma, still yelling and kicking, was being dragged into another room. "Dammit!" she swore."Let me go! Now!" He ignored her, as usual. "You remind me more of Vegeta every minute," she said in an Earth language. That got him to let go. Only recognizing the prince's name, she could've said anything. "Thank you," she said huffily, brushing herself off. "I prefer to walk, with a klutz like you wanting to carry me." Then she stuck out her tongue at him.

The guy wasn't even paying any attention to her. Then she looked around and realized she couldn't even see the walls from where she was standing. When she went to look at the ceiling, it was like standing on the sidewalk and looking up at the Empire State Building. She nearly fell over from simply trying to see the roof.

"Come. They're waiting for you." He took her arm.

She yanked it away and glared at him. "Who? I don't see anybody. In fact, the only thing I DO see is a stupid little blue guy and a bunch of white." Then she followed his gaze to a few black beings that had appeared out of apparently nowhere.

He nodded to all of them and bowed to one. Bulma eyed them warily, then looked at them. If this was a military-type thing, she was guessing they'd probably be the shock troop cadets. And they usually weren't the most pleasant people. And if her mythology served her correctly...

"I'm glad you made it back." Again, the Namek was heavily accented, but it was the voice that presented pictures in her mind that made Bulma pay attention. He could've been speaking Greek -- well, maybe not because she KNEW Greek -- but she still would've understood perfectly.

"Are those... centaurs?" she asked nervously.

He had to think for a moment. "I believe that's what you call them on your planet, yes." He smiled. "I never thought that off-planet knowledge would come in handy someday."

"Great. He sounds like any normal teenager. Just perfect. Can this get any worse?" Then she noticed one of the centaurs glaring at her with glowing red eyes, and another behind him (her? it?) with something crumbled in his hands. "I HAD to say that, didn't I?"

============================================

Yemma was interrupted again, and this time he wasn't so polite. He slammed the scroll down and snarled. "What the hell do you want?"

A purple-haired figure raised its head. "Hello."

Yemma sighed. "What now?" he asked as he called up the scroll on this man. Then he looked at the name, and back down. "Dr. Briefs?"

"Yes. Where am I?"

Yemma had to resist the urge to smack himself on the head. This man was one of the greatest scientists in centuries, yet he was as naive as Goku in his own way. Then he remembered they'd spent a lot of time WITH the little Saiyan.

Yemma cleared his throat. "Um, this is... the Earth check-in station."

"Really? Well, it IS very nice, but I need to get back. I haven't fed Pookey yet."

Yemma flipped through the extra papers attached to the scroll. Then he dropped it. "Pookey?"

He nodded. "My assistant."

"POOKEY?!"

"Yes. And my wife needs me," he added as an afterthought, scratching his head. "And Bulma will want me there when she gets back, so I think I should go now."

Yemma muttered and shook his head, picking up the abandoned scroll, accidentally pushing one off. He didn't even notice as he was checking things off the list. Dr. Briefs, being the gentleman, picked it up, but curiosity got the better of him as he saw the name: Bulma Briefs.

He opened the scroll, looking down the list of accomplishments fulfilled. "Invent capsules... yep... I didn't know she did that... uh huh," he muttered to himself. Then he looked down at things to come. And promptly yelled. Only then did Yemma realized the good scientist had something he shouldn't.

The king picked up Dr. Briefs by the shirt and dropped him on the desk. "You're not supposed to have that," he lectured. How the man got it open was beyond him. The paper was at least three times his size.

The next thing Yemma realized was that his "guest" was muttering something. A closer listen revealed the phrase that was being repeated. "My baby... my baby. She's going to be a mother... and the father's a cold-blooded killer. My baby's gonna be a mother..."

Yemma patted the man's purple head with his finger. "He won't be a cold-blooded killer much longer," he said, trying to reassure him.

"My baby's going to have a baby," he whimpered.

Yemma rolled his eyes. "And your grandson will save the world," he said, then clapped a hand to his mouth. 'Dammit! I wasn't supposed to tell him THAT! He's not to supposed to know any of this!'

Dr. Briefs' eyes were sad until they fell on a bright red sportscar. "Ooo!" he said enthusiastically. He leapt fearlessly off the desk and ended up under the hood in a matter of seconds.

The ferrygirls and escorts were standing around in shocked amazement. They'd never seen a soul with so much freedom around here. Even Kami was respectful, even a little afraid, of Yemma. Yet this man was totally fearless, as if he didn't know who Yemma was.

"Um, King Yemma?" one escort asked, stepping forward. He was the same one that had taken Goku and Co. to Snake Way. "Is he also going to King Kai?"

"Heavens no!" That was Dr. Briefs, now trying to start the car. "Have no interest in him."

"But you DO know about him?"

"Of course. With my daughter's friends always dying and coming back it's all they ever talk about." He shrugged. "Does he need anything fixed up?"

"Actually, his car..." the escort began before Yemma put a foot on his head, "...just got fixed." He felt the king's heel leave his hat and sighed.

"You mean THIS?" Dr. Briefs shook his head. "That was a shoddy job, even to an amateur!"

A burly man -- also a little wide around the waist and dressed in a striped mechanic's uniform, matching hat pulled down so no one could see his eyes -- tapped the scientist on the shoulder and spat, "There was a lot of work put into that, pal," he growled, shoving the doctor away.

Dr. Briefs smiled and put a hand on the mech's arm. "I'm sure there was, but not good enough. The spark plugs were damaged, the engine was in pieces, the carburetor..." He rambled on, not even the mech understanding what he was saying. "So I fixed your mistakes," he concluded. Yemma was feeling breathless just LISTENING to him, but Dr. Briefs seemed perfectly fine.

There was a few -- QUITE a few -- LOUD comments about the scientist, and Yemma finally got to his feet and yelled. Which made everyone in the room at least half deaf. Even Dr. Briefs had to put his hands over his ears. He thought that BULMA yelling was loud, but if you added Chi Chi to her, it was pretty much equivalent to Yemma.

"All of you! Get back to work! There is NO WAY we'll get all of these souls processed if you don't get on it! Now get the hell out of here!" The hall was instantly empty except for the ones that were unafrad, and they were droids. "And YOU!" he said, pointing at Dr. Briefs, his voice dangerous. Then his expression looked like that of a hopeful five-year-old going on a trip to the candy store and asked -- sounding almost like Goku -- "Could you fix my other cars?"

============================================

Bulma backed into her captor and glared at the groping black hand. "Get away from me," she hissed, batting at his hands. Which did no good whatsoever. "Dammit! Go away before I have to--" She got cut off as a rag was stuffed into her wide-open mouth. She ripped it out and glared at the blue man hatefully. He only shrugged and looked at what Bulma guess was the leader. 'Captain, maybe?' she thought idly. The centaur's voice was nothing like that of the humanoids. It was low and coarse, a bass rumble sent over rocks. Not the most pleasant thing to hear.

As Bulma crossed her arms, she noticed the centaur with the red... the red... SOMETHING in his hands watching her. She bared her teeth and hissed. That usually scared Goku away, and it worked almost as well on someone built like a horse version of King Kong. It was almost funny. 'Must be a guy,' Bulma thought as she smirked. 'I DO have that effect sometimes.' She gave up on trying to understand the strange musical language until the captain or whatever grabbed her by the neck of her vest.

"Hey! What the... Get your slimy little bastard hands off of me!" she shrieked in Namek. "Now, dammit!"

The centaur smiled. "Lively. Yes, this will be the perfect present for the gods."

"Good for them, but don't I have a say in this?" Bulma demanded as she wriggled helplessly.

"No," the blue man told her coldly.

"Well, I'm going to give whoever thought of this a piece of my mind. A very LARGE piece."

"You will not say what part of your body goes to who," the half-horse said in that same, icy tone. "WE will decide that, once you are done thoroughly."

"That doesn't sound like a good thing," Bulma muttered to herself. "What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?"

The guard crumbling the red cloth in his hands stepped forward and offered it to her. She snatched it away tossed it on the floor. "Get away," she growled through gritted teeth. A sharp kick to the shin made him obey. Bulma smirked at him even though she was sure she'd broken at least one bone in her foot.

"You will wear this," the leader said, scooping up the red cloth gently, almost tenderly. He put it not-so-roughly back in her hands and smiled. A smile that sent shivers down Bulma's spine. It wasn't a friendly gesture. It was a superior look that gave her the idea this muscled moron could do pretty anything he wanted. Which could be a very bad thing.

Bulma scowled. "Right. And pigs can fly." Then she tried very hard not to think of Oolong.

"They can," a centaur said. "I have many of them at my own home. But how does an off-worlder know such things?" Bulma heaved an exasperated sigh. 'I forgot. They're not from Earth. Who knew that pigs could fly?'

The captain used his tail -- decorated with gold and silver badges, chains, and other types of things -- to whack his soldier. The one who had spoken didn't bat an eye at the hit, but he nodded to show he was sorry. "Now. Put them on."

Bulma paled. "Here?"

"I don't see why not," the leader said patiently. "Now do as I say."

Bulma defiantly threw down the clothes and stomped over to the centaur. Leaning in close, so her nose was only about three inches from his -- even though she was still a good foot shorter than him -- and whispered. "You don't scare me pal. I've put up with Vegeta, and Frieza for that matter, so you better think again if you expect to scare me. Try again, and this time go to intimidation school."

The names she rattles off shut the men up for a good minute while they gawked at her. "You've met Lord Frieza?" the captain finally croaked out.

"Would you like to know what he was like before or AFTER he was killed?" Bulma asked sweetly, looking at her nails. Then she smiled up at them and shrugged.

"You... a weakling, killed Lord Frieza?"

Bulma laughed at their astonished faces. "Me? Hell no! I just like WATCHING Frieza get his ass kicked by Vegeta and Goku."

"Vegeta defeated him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Where have you people been? Or are you just to stupid to listen right? GOKU killed him. Vegeta roughed him up a little before he died."

"You said he was traveling with you," the guard said. "Then how is he dead by Frieza's hand?"

"I never said he STAYED that way, now did I?" Bulma asked in her talking-to-strange-alien-idiots voice. "He was brought back to life with the dragonballs."

He eyed her strangely. "How is such a thing possible?"

"Three wishes. For all your trading, you sure don't get around a lot, do you?" She put her hands on her hips and smiled. "Let me take you through this one step at a time. Another idiot came to Earth and tried to kill my friend Goku. Then he found out he was an alien from a race that loves to blow things up. Well, he died, then Vegeta and his muscle-bound, huge, bald, cretin with the intelligence of a walnut came by and killed the guy who made OUR dragonballs work. So, off to Namek we go, insult Frieza a little, bring thousands of people back to life, and Vegeta gets a free ride back to Earth since he actually turned out to be such a nice guy. Get it now?" As they stood there, dumbfounded, Bulma sweetly took the captain by his vest thing, pulled him a little closer and hissed, "Now let me go!"

The captain shook his head to clear it and glared at her. "This one is brave as well. She will make a fine gift to the gods."

"Dammit!" Bulma screamed as she hauled off and landed a perfectly-aimed punch in the guy's left eye. "Get me the hell out of here!"

Before she could hurt the guard again, a little green frog-type woman scuttled out and grabbed Bulma's wrist. Bulma looked down at the wet-looking hand, only to find that it was indeed dry, and that the thing holding her back was barely taller than Gohan.

Bulma tried to shake her way loose. "Get off of me!" she hissed again, pulling vainly on her arm. "Now!"

"I suggest you do what they say," she said in what sounded like perfect German. "Unless you want to be hurt when they decide to retaliate."

"Meaning what?" Bulma demanded in Namek, then switched to German, as the woman was using. "Well?"

"Either you put that on, or they put it on you," she answered simply. "And they're not gentle OR modest about it."

"Great," Bulma moaned. "I'm stuck in a city full of guys like Master Roshi. Can this get any worse?" Then she unfolded the dress. "Uh-uh! No way! In your dreams pal!" she yelled at the guy who'd handed it to her. "Even if I OWNED a string bikini, it would have more cloth than this!" She shook her fist -- the one that happened to have the dress in it -- at the guys. "No chance in hell are you going to get me into this thing!"

They smirked and advanced on her, but the green lady stepped in front of her and said something in that musical language. Bulma stopped, entirely sick of not understanding what they were saying about her. When they frog woman turned around, she smiled -- an action that would've sent most grown men running for their teddy bears if Bulma hadn't guessed what it was -- and said, "Follow me."

"Why should I trust you? You showed up out of nowhere, I have no idea who you are, WHAT you are, where you came from, and how you know and Earth language, and you ask me to trust you!"

"Unless, of course, you want to stay HERE and change," she said over her shoulder. Bulma followed without another word.

============================================

Krillin wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and looked out over the sandy waves. "Are you SURE it's this way? All I've seen so far is more sand than I ever thought was possible to have in one place."

"Shut up, Cueball," Vegeta ordered. "You want to get that woman back, don't you?"

"Have to. Unlike you guys, I'm not used to spending years on alien planets, and I don't want to take the opportunity to GET used to it."

"Where is this place, Vegeta?" Goku asked as the wind wipped up a small wirlwind of sand that ended up playing through his hair. "I don't see anything."

"Patience, Kakorrot," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. "You'll see it soon enough." Even as he spoke, a zigzagging line appeared in the sand, and it began to seep down into the crack. "In there," Vegeta said as he floated down, avoiding as much sand as he could.

Goku and Krillin followed, but Vegeta was already gone. "Guess we're on our own for now," Krillin said. "Damn Vegeta. Where the hell are we?"

Goku looked up and saw the ceiling had resealed itself. "I don't know, Krillin," he admitted. "Come on. You take one tunnel, and I'll look the other way. If you find Bulma, get her out to the ship."

"What if I run into Vegeta?"

Goku grinned. "Tell him to hurry his ass up. Then run like hell."

============================================

Bulma began to pace. "I can't belive this!" she muttered as she walked back toward the flap of the tent. "Why me? Of all the things that had to go wrong, I just HAD to pick the planet where they do sacrfices."

"Sit down. You're not going anywhere for a while," the green woman said, wringing the water out of a cloth.

"And you! YOU are royally getting on my nerves! Who the hell are you anyway?"

"I would tell you my name, but not only would you not be able to pronounce it, that would give you no information. So, I must tell you my history to answer that question."

"You would make a great laywer. You beat around the bush with even the most simple questions," Bulma shot back. "Fine. Tell me what I can call you then."

"Listen first. Then decide."

Bulma sat back, crossed her arms over her -- mostly bared -- chest and glared at her. "I'm listening."

"You see, I was born a shape-shifter. I could become anything at any time, only you can't fool anyone. There's a mark any other would recognize. A species that looked like this came to my planet to trade, only they weren't interested in the goods we had to offer. They took us instead."

"And they would recognize you by that mark," Bulma said, then shut her mouth again. "Sorry."

"You're right. So when they took us, we didn't know what to do. We've never changed into anything of our own imaginations, only things we've seen. So, when we first saw weapons it was a great victory for us. We changed into this species' machineries and attacked. Only... we lost. I'm the only one that survived the battle because I was still too young to stay in one shape for too long. As time went on, I chose this shape because it doesn't need air to breathe and can survive almost anywhere. When I came to this planet, I was going to become a 'gift' to their gods as well, untilI showed them my talents." She shrugged and smiled a little. "I guess they liked what I had to offer. Right now I take care of the guests and gifts until they are ready to be dealt with. A nanny of sorts."

Bulma sat up. "Then how do you know German?"

She looked throughful. "I'd forgotten what it was called, but I made stops on various other planets before I came across this one. Germany was my home for many years."

Bulma grunted. "So there's more than one race of alien running around Earth. I wonder who else used the planet as an intergalactic hotel." Then she looked thoughtful. "I guess then I'll call you Granny."

She cocked her head to one side. "I guess that's fitting. Granny. Yes."

"Granny, could I ask you a favor?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you get me the hell out of here?!"

============================================

Krillin shook his head and rubbed his eyes. 'What was that old movie called?' he wondered as he crawled along. 'Oh, yeah. The Mummy. I think they used this for the set.' Only it was too small for even HIM to stand up in.

He saw light and began to crawl faster, only to bang his head on something unseen in the darkness. "It just HAD to be a pipe, didn't it? I just HAD to pick the tunnel that has all the plumbing in it, didn't I?"

Looking down, he was amazed at how vast the room was. He could barely see the opposite wall, and the only thing that indicated there was anything at all in the whiteness was a multi-colored tent that looked like it could belong to an Arabian high priest.

He slowed his fall and hunched against the wall. Then he slapped himself on the forehead. He stood out like he was flashing neon lights announcing his arrival in here. As long as he found Bulma. He could hear her yelling, but where was she?

Krillin took a deep breath and lifted off the ground. There was nothing to be seen from the floor level, especially when he was that close to it. 'Guess she must be in there,' he thought to himself. It was never hard to find Bulma. All you had to do was listen for the largest concentration of noise in the vicinity. Which happened to be the tent.

He landed softly and pushed the first see-through curtain aside. "Bulma?" Are you in there?" When silence fell, she pushed on. "Bulma?"

"Krillin!" Then she looked down at herself and pulled Granny in front of her. Krillin suddenly felt a strange kinship with the rocks at his feet, which he studied very closely. "Get Goku."

"Yeah, all right," he said, backing away. "Should I warn him?"

"I don't care! Just get him! I want out of here BEFORE I get roasted and served at the latest delicacy!"

Krillin turned around to get out and flew back in, hiding behind Bulma. Granny turned to face him. "THAT'S a Saiyan?" she asked incredulously.

"Me?" Krillin laughed. "Right. Me, the 'pathetic Earthling' is gonna suddenly become one of the 'mighty Saiyan warriors.' As if."

Bulma shoved the woman and glared at Krillin. "What now, moron?"

"You expect me to get past all those guards? How?"

Bulma peeked out and watched the centaurs line up. She smiled and whistled. "All this for little old me?"

"Bulma. Question: How the hell do you expect me to get help if I'm gonna get KILLED?"

She studied him. "Good question." She paced for a second, then her eyes lit up. Krillin took a step back at the look on his friend's face. "Which way are you going?" she asked eagerly.

He pointed. "I'm afraid to ask, but why?"

"I'm going to get a diversion. Stay behind me and then go once dumbest and his stooges get out of the way." Krillin hid behind her as requested, so Bulma took a deep breath and yelled at the top of her lungs: "Saiyans!"

Three of the centaurs immediately showed up in front of her. "Where?" the oldest one asked.

Bulma pointed a shaking finger the same way Krillin had. "That way."

He looked at her, then gave an order in the other language. The six of them took off. In the same direction. She gaped at them and Krillin groaned.

"That was NOT what I wanted," Bulma yelled after them. "You were SUPPOSED to go the OTHER way!"

"They're warriors," Granny said calmly. "They will track down the enemy, not run from them."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?" Then she waved her hand and shook her head. "No. Wait. I already know the answer to that. Better question. Why are you telling me all this?"

Granny shrugged. "I have no orders not to. Besides, you won't be able to use it against them after tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?" Bulma asked before Krillin could say whatever his mouth had been open to say.

"It's the full moon."

"O, yeah. THAT explains it," she muttered.

"We only have the full moon here once every three years," she said patiently. "Then we give living gifts to the gods. More like messengers, really. The more lively the messenger, the more likely the gods will respond to that energy."

Bulma turned to Krillin, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him. "You've got to get me out of here!" she yelled frantically.

"Why? I couldn't understand a word you two just said."

"Just do it, dammit! I'll... I'll... keep Vegeta from attacking you and calling you Cueball!"

"How in hell do you think you're going to do THAT?"

"I don't know, but I will! Just help me!"

"Fine," he muttered. "I'll send Goku back."

"Thank you Krillin! Thank you, thank you!"

He nodded and left Bulma to argue with the frog lady. Krillin looked to the space the centaurs had left behind, then noticed there were still more there. And they could shoot fire. And they were very fast. And strong. Krillin ran like hell.

When he couldn't run efficiently due to the scattered clumps of... whatever, he took to the shy. It wasn't much better, but at least he didn't have to weave and dodge as much. He paused for a moment at the diverging tunnels. 'Goku. One with less noise,' he instantly thought as he took the left one. He thought he'd lost the monsters when he slammed into Vegeta.

Stunned for a moment, Krillin dropped and put a hand to his head. 'Duh. It's less noise here because Vegeta KILLED them all already!'

"Cueball! What are you running from?"

Krillin got to his feet and turned around. "Them?"

Vegeta looked at Krillin with a smirk. "Running from deer, Cueball?" Then he noticed the deer were pretty much human from the waist up and could shoot fireballs, not to mention they had something that looked like phasers from Star Trek.

"Yeah, Cactus Head. Running from deer." He took another step back and growled at them. "Where's Goku anyway?"

As if on cue, the wall exploded in, and a few humanoid-type things flew through the hole, followed by a centaur or two and Goku. He looked down at them, pushed them out of the way and smiled. Turning to his best friend, he asked, "So, what'd I miss?"

The centaurs obviously weren't used to getting their asses kicked by a guy who looked like he'd bruise if you looked at him too hard, so they hauled tail. Only to come charging back with some huge bluish-black thing that filled the entire tunnel behind them.

"Well, Goku. I found Bulma," Krillin said as he dodged one of the alien's tendrils, the other one pinning Goku to the wall. "She asked for you to come and get her."

"Krillin, I AM a little busy here," Goku grunted, pushing the suffocating arm away, his hair already shimmering gold.

"Where's the woman?" Vegeta demanded.

"Down past big ugly and hang a left at the first huge black thing that looks like a cross between a centaur and a troll. Can't miss her."

Vegeta powered up and prepared to plow his way through the fighting monstrosities. "I'll find her myself."

As he got past the first, second and sixth line of defense, Krillin chuckled. "If either of you SURVIVE after you find her that is."

============================================

Bulma furiously paced back and forth. She had been determined to wait until Goku got back, but her sitting still had lasted a grand total of seven minutes. Not that pacing was much better, but at least she was moving while she ranted.

"You might as well make yourself comfortable," Granny was saying the next time Bulma bothered to pay attention. "I already told you you're not going anywhere."

"Great! So I'm stuck here in this hell-hole with a little bald idiot, and two Saiyans who can't transform anymore and all three of them probably need all the time they can get to find their way back! KAMI!"

Bulma went on, but Granny gave up trying to understand Spanish. Instead she fetched a full-length mirror from somewhere behind the flaps of the tent and set it down behind Bulma. The Earthling's raving stopped as soon as she caught sight of herself in it.

The peace only lasted a minute. Even though she gave a tomato a run for its money, she still continued to shout at no one in particular. "What! KRILLIN saw me in this! And Goku.... well, never mind Goku, but KRILLIN saw me like this! What did I do to deserve this? What?"

"They gave you that so you would look nice when you presented our message to the gods."

"Nice! All right, I look a little more than nice, I admit that. But NO one else is going to see me like this! Not even my HUSBAND will see me like this. Once I get one anyway."

[Cue Vegeta. Enter: stage left.]
Yeah, yeah, we know. REALLY bad joke. But would you be able to resist either?

Vegeta could clearly hear Bulma's yelling through the sounds of destruction coming from the general direction of Goku. He shook his head. 'Doesn't that damn woman EVER shut up?' he asked himself mentally. He shook his head in silent answer and made his way to Bulma, still trying to decide if it was worth kidnapping one of these inhabitants and forcing them to take the remainder of the group back to Earth after he killed her.

Bulma sat sulkily in the corner, knees tucked under her chin and kept in place by her arms wrapped around them. She glared again at Granny, who was trying to mimic a lullaby, and failing with flying colors.

"Give it up," Bulma said finally. "If you can't get it right, keep quiet."

"Strange words coming from a scientist, don't you think? If the experiments fail, try again. Isn't that what you've always been taught?"

"What does science have to do with being tone deaf and not able to carry a tune?"

The only reply was a scream. Bulma leapt up at the sight of pointy black hair.

"Goku! Get me out of here!" Then she stopped in her tracks as the face connected to the hair came into view. "Vegeta! What the hell are YOU doing here?"

"Vegeta?" Granny asked, her still open mouth ready to yell again. Bulma smoothly pulled her over and put a hand over the frog lady's mouth, to keep her quiet and also to hide herself from the Saiyan's probing eye.

"Where's Goku?" she asked casually, adjusting her grip on Granny, and accidentally covering the pug nose. "Is he with you?"

"Kakorrot and Cueball are busy. I came to get you."

'Great,' Bulma thought sarcastically. 'It's only my luck that VEGETA has to come along and be the knight in shining armor. Only his is probably all rusty because he doesn't NEED it.' She scowled as Granny wiggled. "I told that idiot to get Goku."

Vegeta crossed his arms. "I told you Kakorrot is busy. Now are you coming or not?"

"Get Goku."

"Woman, are you deaf? He's busy."

"Are you deaf? I said go get him. I don't CARE if he's busy or not!"

Vegeta advanced on her, slowly. Bulma back up, dragging Granny with her. "Woman, you are coming with me whether you want to or not."

"No. She'll stop you," Bulma bluffed. Vegeta raised one eyebrow and smirked. Bulma looked down and noticed Granny was slipping. She took her hands away and Granny fell. "Dammit! You weren't supposed to do that!" She stood, hands on hips and glaring at the fallen caretaker. Then she self-consciously looked up and crossed her arms slowly across her chest. "I'm ready to go now," she said sweetly.

Vegeta kept walking toward her. "About time."

When he was an arm's length away, Bulma took another step back. "What do you think you're doing?"

He took another step forward and swooped her into his arms. She immediately started yelling as he took to the air. Once they were outside, he kept going higher and dropped her at least thirty feet before she shut up. "Well, how the hell do you think we were supposed to get out of there?" he snapped once she'd calmed down enough to talk.

"Walk, like NORMAL people!" she yelled back over the howl of wind. Then she crossed her arms again and tried to curl into a ball for warmth. It was freezing up that high, and her outfit wasn't exactly fit for Arctic Circle temperatures.

Vegeta deliberately did not look at her. For the first time since he'd unofficially met her, she didn't seem like a loud -- well, scratch that idea -- rambunctious idiot that ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. Dressed like that, she reminded him very much of the Saiyan women back on his home planet. He would almost say she looked respectable in that. And Bulma, being Bulma, would disagree. He smirked at that thought as well. That would be one interesting argument...

Bulma noticed the half-smile on Vegeta's face and tried to control her heartbeat. Whatever could make him smile would be sure to scare her witless. That much she was absolutely positive of even after only spending a month with the arrogant Saiyan prince.

Vegeta landed next to the ship and stared at it, thinking most of the pieces were back in place. He blinked a few times, but nothing changed. Who had fixed it? He was so preoccupied he didn't remember he was still holding Bulma.

Which is why he almost blasted Krillin straight to King Kai when he landed behind them and instantly began his teasing. "Ah, so the lovebirds finally decided to come back. You know Vegeta, it's traditional to carry her INTO the house."

Vegeta abruptly dropped her as he turned around. "What was that Cueball?" he demanded, a ki ball forming in his left hand. He smiled satanically and held up his glowing palm. "I didn't quite hear."

"You should've," Krillin said shakily. "Aren't Saiyan ears supposed to be better than humans'?"

His answer was interrupted by Bulma shouting, "Hey! Who fixed the ship?"

Krillin looked past the older warrior, then blushed and turned his back. "I don't know," he muttered.

"Hey, Krillin. Where's Goku? We can go home!" Bulma was nearly dancing in joy.

"We can?" Goku asked, swinging down from the top of the ship. "Great!" He flipped down, staying in midair then flying back up into the ship. "Come on!"

Bulma used the door while the two boys flew up. She went to the controls, then slammed her fist into them, not caring about the damage to either.

"What now, woman?"

Bulma glared at him, then motioned to the controls. "We can't go anywhere. Whoever fixed the damn thing forgot something. I don't know the language."