Surprisingly, it took Bulma almost three days to learn both languages. She kept swearing it was taking her forever, but Vegeta was slightly impressed she could pick up a language so different from her own, and then speak it flawlessly 36 hours later. The other took a bit more work, but two days and seventeen hours later, Bulma had both stored in her memory with the other five she'd learned in the past two and a half years.

Goku frankly shocked Vegeta to near speechlessness. The younger Saiyan not only sopke it with a perfect accent and flawless accuracy, he understood more words than Vegeta did. 'Well, he IS Baradock's son,' Vegeta thought with a dry smirk. 'I guess it's just being dug up after al these years.'

It didn't take long to fix the ship AGAIN. Bulma was losing track of how many times the damn thing was crashed, blown up, shot down, or just plain desrtoyed. She patted the side and smiled a little. "You're gonna have a nice home in the Transpotation Hall of Fame. Which is the next thing I'm going to create when I get back."

"Pretty optimistic, aren't you Bulma?" Krillin asked.

"How much more shit can possibly happen to us?" Bulma pointed out. "Then again, it IS US. Who knows what the hell can happen?"

"Let's just hope that whatever we go through this thing can handle it," Krillin muttered, kicking the ship.

Bulma grinned. "Damn sturdy if you ask me. I'll have to ask Kami what the hell it's MADE of. I'd LOVE to get some of this!"

"Bulma, since you were such a good girl on the way, you got to learn two new languages. Leave it at that," Krillin lectured half-heartedly.

"No," Bulma shot back, sticking her tongue out.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed her sleeve. "Come on and let's get out of here before something ELSE happens."

"You know," Bulma said as she allowed herself to be dragged along, "the LAST time you said that, lightning struck."

"No water, which means no clouds, which means no storm, which means no lightning!" Krillin said with a quick smile."Which means we can get our asses out of here!"

"Are we gonna get out of here?" Goku asked as soon as Bulma got in his line of view. "I wanna go home."

"As soon as Fathead gets out of my seat," Bulma said pleasantly. Vegeta didn't twitch. She went over, grabbed him by his wild mane and pulled him off the chair. "Yep. We're leaving now."

Vegeta mumled something under his breath and plopped down in the chair next to Goku. He didn't bother with a seatbelt as the two from Earth Special Forces did, just crossed his arms and scowled.

As they lifted up, Bulma was tempted to smack Goku through the nearest wall. The last sentence out of the warrior's mouth had been, "Are we there yet?"

============================================

Gohan started to pace again. King Kai had left him for the third time in as many days. Or what FELT like days anyway. He couldn't really tell since the sun never went down. Or came up. Or moved at all.

Finally, he plunked down under the o-so-familiar tree and scowled. "This sucks," he muttered to himself. Gregory was nowhere to be seen -- not surprising considering what Gohan did the LAST time the cricket agreed to play with him -- and Bubbles was asleep if not hiding from him. So Gohan was stuck with himself.

"Might as well get some training in," he muttered again as he closed his eyes. Training mentally was easier and less stressful when the old master wasn't around. It was also the only way Gohan didn't go totally insane from being by himself for so long.

The transition between the universes took only a minute, and Gohan opened his eyes to find himself in the middle of two clashing powers. He shook his head and ducked out of the blaze. Then the blue and red lines were gone and he stood alone. Except for a familiar bald figure with his back to him.

He smiled and tapped the older warrior on the shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Vegeta and Goku are after me," he muttered before realization set in. Then he yelled and turned to face Gohan. "Oh, it's only you," he breathed. Then he yelled again. "But... but... but you're DEAD Gohan!" The poor monk was obviously confused.

"I know," Gohan said nonchalantly.

Krillin's eyes rolled back in his head but he stayed on his feet. "How... are you here?"

He tapped Krillin's forehead and smiled. "It's all in your head, Krillin."

It took a second for Krillin to realize what he meant. Then he remembered that it only took a trained mind to get here. He and Gohan had used this training on the ride to Namek when they'd gotten bored.

Gohan's eyes focused on one spot. "Vegeta," he hissed, then he straightened. "HE'S traveling with you?! How the he-- I mean, how are you still ALIVE?!"

Krillin smiled faintly at the little boy. "I won't tell if you don't," he said.

"Huh?"

Krillin wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "I know you've learned how to curse, Gohan. It was only a matter of time."

"That's what King Kai said." He shrugged off Krillin's arm and shook his head. "You didn't answer my question."

"What was it again?"

"What the fuck is Vegeta doing with you guys?!" Gohan yelled in frustration. His hand came up to his mouth in sync with Krillin's eyebrow's shooting up. At the other's surprised expression, Gohan giggled a little. His hand came away from his mouth and he smiled. "Didn't expect THAT I suppose."

Krillin shook his head. "Don't talk like that around your mother," he unnecessarily warned.

Gohan looked up at him indignantly. "I DON'T have a death wish, Krillin."

Krillin mentally shook himself. "I know. Oh, and Vegeta's here because he's coming back to Earth with us." Before Gohan could open his mouth, Krillin continued. "Goku offered him a ride. Besides, I think he has a crush on Bulma or something."

Gohan's jaw dropped. "What?! What the hell has been going ON since I died?!"

"A lot," Krillin muttered. Gohan suddenly pulled him down and a red line of fire swept back Gohan's hair from the force of the explosion from behind. FAR behind. Krillin looked over his shoulder, then back at Gohan. "I didn't even feel that coming. Then again, I can barely feel you, and you're right here."

Gohan rolled his eyes and hit Krillin in the same spot Bulma picked to slap him all the time. "I'm dead and we're in another dimension. Of course not!"

Krillin rubbed the base of his neck and shook his head. He then stared in wonder at the little boy that had been such a mama's boy only two years ago. Now he was acting more grown-up that Goku ever had.

Krillin suddenly got a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Hey, Gohan. Why don't you show them that you're here?"

The black-haired boy blinked, then a small smile crept onto his face. "All right. Vegeta almost hit me with that thing earlier. I want to show him that his aim is off."

Gohan's eyes slid to one side and then he let loose with a fireball into the blackness. "What was that all about?" Krillin asked him. His answer was only a loud curse and a smile from Gohan.

"Cueball! How the hell did you do that?!"

Gohan shot him again and yelled, "Vegeta, you're supposed to HIT people when you shoot at them!"

Goku, appearing behind Krillin for a surprise attack stopped dead in his tracks. His ki blast was only half-formed and slowly shrank back into his hand as he looked at his dead son in shock.

Vegeta came into view, looking like Goku with almost no shirt and a huge scowl. Then he saw Gohan and froze mid-step. Krillin had never seen the proud prince so shocked. Even when Bulma had promised bodily harm and embarrassment to the Saiyan, he'd only had a mild response.

"MOPHEAD?!"

Gohan rolled his eyes. "I am getting so fucking TIRED of that goddamn name!" This time he didn't look like his mother was on the rampage and Goku's jaw came unhinged. "So shut up!"

Vegeta blinked, then smirked at the boy. "I see you're not as much as a baby anymore. NOW you're acting like a true Saiyan."

"I don't fucking care!" Gohan yelled, hands clenching at his sides. "I'm here to see my father!"

Goku's jaw worked a few times, but no sound came out. He tried a few more and failed with flying colors. Krillin tapped Gohan on the top of his head and jerked his thumb at his his best friend.

Gohan threw himself at Goku and brought them both to the floor. Well, where the floor WOULD be had there been one. Anyway, both of them were just kind of floating there horizontally.

"Daddy!" Gohan cried cheerfully, wrapping his arms tightly around Goku, who was still trying to figure out how to talk.

Goku gave up and found that his limbs still worked, so he patted his son's head, shaking his own. His only thought at that moment was 'Chi Chi is going to KILL us.'

============================================

By the time Bulma roused the boys from their dead-asleep state, Krillin and Gohan had finally gotten Goku to talk. Which the little boy didn't think was such a good idea because for the first and only time in his life, Goku reprimanded Gohan for his language. That was the only time Goku would yell at Gohan about ANYTHING.

Nonetheless, as soon as Goku's mind joined his body, he was more cheerful than Bulma had ever seen him. He paused to kiss her cheek before wandering out into the main room and sitting down at the window to stare out into space.

"What's with him?" Bulma asked the white-faced Krillin and the nonchalant Vegeta.

"Mophead showed up."

Bulma looked to Krillin. "Translation, please."

Krillin shook his head. "Gohan joined us in our training. That's all. We talked for a while."

Bulma's jaw dropped slightly, then she shook her head in denial. "I always knew you guys were stupid, but that just takes the cake! Gohan is DEAD, sorry to say."

"The boy's mind is with him in another dimension," Vegeta pointed out. "It is the mind that allows us to get there."

Bulma blinked a few times. "Vegeta! I didn't think you had it in you!"

"What?" he snapped.

"You sounded... INTELLIGENT there for a second. I'm very impressed." Despite her sarcastic words, she WAS impressed. She thought Goku was the only one who could be stupid yet sound somewhat smart.

He grunted in response. "Whatever, woman."

"Say, Bulma, are we there yet?"

Bulma lunged at Krillin and succeeded in grabbing his shirt. "No, moron. Almost. If you ask me that one more time, I'll dump you into SPACE!" Looking at Vegeta, she scowled and said, "You too, Cactus Head."

Krillin shook his head and went to sit by Goku. "So, what's up?"

Goku looked at him like he'd never seen a human before. Then he shook his head and the old grin was back on his face. "Nothing much." He looked at Vegeta and held out his hand. "Twenty bucks."

Krillin followed his gaze. "Bullshit!" He knew the look in Vegeta's eye, but there was no way he was going to admit that to Goku.

"Make it fifty when we get home and then you'll see."

"You're on, pal!" Even as Krillin shook his best friend's hand to seal the bet, he was thinking, 'What the hell have I just done?'

============================================

Gohan had found Bubbles and was in the process of luring the primate out of hiding with a piece of fruit when King Kai showed back up, carrying a stack of heavy, HUGE leather-bound books.

Gohan dropped the blue apple and rushed to aid his teacher. "What are these?" he wondered aloud as he took the top six to keep them from falling.

"Work for you. I've heard you say you wanted to keep up with your studies, so I brought you these."

Gohan looked down at the books in his hands. "Aw, man! MORE homework?" He took the offered pencil and slumped down on the hood of the car. Breezing through the first half of the book, it wasn't long before he was doing it half in his sleep from boredom.

King Kai watched as the young warrior started to fall asleep while still writing. Soon his eyes closed completely and his breathing evened, but his hand never stopped moving. It was then the martial arts master realized Gohan had gone through the books he'd requested for later in the year.

"Gohan," he said, gently shaking the snoring child. It took carrying the boy over to the sink and dropping him in the water to wake him.

Gohan came up coughing and sputtering. "I'm awake Piccolo! I'm up! I'm--" He cut himself off as he saw that he was only in King Kai's kitchen. "Hey! Now I'm wet!"

'Brilliant observation,' King Kai couldn't help but think as he looked at the boy in his sink. He shook himself and started to wring the water out of his hair, glaring at the older man.

"That's how Mr. Piccolo used to wake me up," Gohan complained. "I didn't like it THEN either!"

"Sorry, but that's the only way I could get you up. You were falling asleep doing your work."

"I finished it, didn't I?" Gohan asked as he pulled his shirt over his head and sat it on the ground outside to dry.

"What?" A closer look showed that Gohan had indeed finished the work that King Kai himself could barely do. "How do you know this?"

"My mom," Gohan said sadly. "I've been doing THIS shit since I was THREE."

'Very wise woman,' King Kai thought. "All right. In that case, I have to leave again."

"What?! You just came back! Can I go with you this time? PLEASE?!"

"I'm sorry I have to keep leaving you like this, Gohan. It's just you're so different from the others." A hurt look crossed the youngster's face. "No, Gohan, I don't mean that in a bad way. You're so much stronger than they are, and I can only teach you so much. Which means I have to go to other sources to get things for you. Of course you can come along. We have to go to Princess Snake's palace, so we'll be gone a while."

"All right! Princess Snake!" Gohan grinned and yanked on King Kai's sleeve, pulling him to Snake Way. "Come on!"

King Kai smiled at his student and allowed himself to be pulled along. He shook his head, scooped Gohan into his arms and then stepped off the edge of the planet.

"I hope Daddy doesn't mind I won't visit for a while."

King Kai didn't ask. He had a feeling he didn't want to know.

============================================

The next few weeks were utter hell for Bulma. Then again, anywhere with three men was hell, but this went way above and beyond just that simple fact. Over the course of three weeks, Vegeta's treatment of her was constantly getting rougher and much, much harsher. Finally she figured out what was going on. It was at one of the many pitstops.....

"Row, row, row your ship, gently through the stars. Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is such a bitch!"

Bulma rolled her eyes and growled at Krillin, who was trying to start another verse. "Someone shut him up before I decide to do it myself."

Goku nudged his best friend and Krillin looked up at him. "Well, do YOU have anything better to do?"

Just as Goku opened his mouth, Bulma snapped, "Not you either!" He closed his mouth with an audible click and crossed his arms. "Better."

"You don't even know what he was going to say, woman," Vegeta lectured gruffly.

"He wasn't going to SAY anything. He was going to sing, and I DON'T need it right now."

Bulma successfully landed the ship on the next planet she saw and allowed Goku and Krillin to jump out. Vegeta glared at her then followed the members of Earth's Special Forces.

"Hurry up and get back! I'd like to be there by the time Gohan gets back!" she yelled after them, then stalked back to the controls to see if they had enough power to get out of the thick atmosphere.

Less than half an hour later, Vegeta came back to find Bulma in her usual spot behind the engines, still cursing and swearing; her everyday language could make a sailor blush.

"Woman, what are you doing?"

"What," she answered as she spit out some grease, "the hell does it LOOK like I'm doing moron? I'm TRYING to FIX this damn thing so I can go HOME." She leaned on something just above her chest height and shook her head. "And what are you doing back so early?"

"I THOUGHT you might want something to eat."

Bulma was too tired to give a sarcastic reply. "What is there?" she asked, exhausted.

He gave the names of several things she couldn't ever hope to pronounce, something she thought she didn't WANT to pronounce, and then he added, "And fish."

Bulma threw up her hands and yelled to the ceiling, "WHAT did I do? You are freaking bound-determined to make me eat that shit aren't you?!" She lowered her head and shook it. In a defeated voice she said, "I'll have the fish Vegeta. The fish."

He glared at her, but she ignored it just like she usually did. "Woman, how dense ARE you?!"

She looked up. "Huh?" Then it clicked and she glared at him. "What the hell does THAT mean?! I happen to be the smartest person on EARTH!"

"Then I don't want to see a STUPID human."

"You already HAVE! Krillin!" As a second thought she scowled and added, "And Yamcha."

"Who the HELL is this Yamcha you keep talking about?"

"The guy the little green men from Mars blew up!"

"Actually, they're from Earth. They were grown there."

Bulma blinked. Then she shook her head. "Never mind. I don't want to know." Then her foot started to tap and she crossed her arms. "You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"Are you SURE Saiyans have good memories? Because that HASN'T shown up in my study of them." She rolled her eyes and repeated her earlier inquiry.

"I've been trying to get your attention for weeks!"

"O, you got my attention all right! I'm gonna KILL you!"

Vegeta smirked. "It would be amusing to see you TRY, woman."

Bulma growled. "I'll get GOKU to kick your ass then!"

At his name, Goku's head popped up, only to be pushed back down by a smaller hand. "I told you not to do that," Krillin whispered.

Bulma rolled her eyes and walked over, picking up each boy by the back of the shirt. "Krillin, if you're going to eavesdrop, do it somewhere else. Where Goku won't ruin it again."

Krillin nudged Goku with his elbow. "Man, now we're gonna miss the good part."

"Shut up, Krillin!" Bulma yelled as she whacked the base of his skull again. "Before I LET Vegeta use you as his own personal punching bag!"

Krillin looked at Vegeta, who had let a predatory smile creep onto his face. The look faded as quickly as it came, but it was more than enough to deliver the message. Krillin gulped, color slowly slipping from his cheeks. He took a few steps back, waiting for Goku.

Bulma grabbed her friend's arm and smiled. "Goku, could you do me a favor? Could you hurt Vegeta for me? Just a little?"

He looked up at the smirking warrior. "Sorry Bulma. I'm a married man."

"What the hell does that have to do with it?!"

"He's been trying to get your attention," Goku said simply.

"He's got it, dammit! Which is why either YOU hurt him or I SHOOT the bastard!"

"No, like Chi Chi did to me," Goku hurridly explained.

"Like Chi Chi did to you," Bulma said slowly. Then she whirled on Vegeta. "You've been FLIRTING with me?!"

He cocked his head. "Yes, if that's what you humans call it."

"DAMMIT! What the hell are you THINKING! And wipe that goddamn smirk off your face!" That only widened it a bit. She growled and slapped him. Now he smiled. "I'm afraid to know what that means. Goku! Help me here!"

Vegeta grabbed her arm. "He can't. He already has a mate."

Bulma tried to pull free but only ended up smacking him again. "Goku!" she wailed. "Help me!"

"Sorry Bulma, but I'm a married man. Can't take part in this mating ritual." With that he laid back and folded his hands behind his head like he was at the beach.

"This WHAT?! GOKU!!" Bulma tried to go after him, but she could only get so far with Vegeta attached. She growled again and yelled at the now retreating form of her friend, "I'm gonna tell Chi Chi!"

That made him stop long enough for Krillin to catch up. She could barely hear them, but it was enough to get her pissed off again.

"Hey, Krillin. You owe me twenty bucks."

"Goku, Bulma hasn't done her part yet."

"I know. That's why it's half."

"Half of fifty is twenty-five."

"Then you owe me twenty-FIVE bucks."

Krillin's next sentence was drowned out by Bulma yelling "You BET on me?!"

"I think she heard us," Goku muttered. The next moment the two were gone.

"I can't belive you BET on me!" she yelled after them. "HOW THE HELL COULD YOU IDIOTS BET ON ME?!"

Vegeta tightened his grip. "It wasn't hard, woman. All they had to do was--"

"I KNOW, dammit! It was a RHETORICAL question!" She threw up her free hand in exasperation. "I hate boys. And I hate men. And I hate freaking SAIYAN men the MOST!"

"At least Kakorrot is remembering the laws." Vegeta muttered.

"Well, at least HE can remember them! I never knew!"

"I'll teach you," Vegeta offered. Then he gave her a kiss and let her go.

"Great," Bulma drawled sarcastically. "His royal pain-in-my-ass is gonna TEACH me something totally useless." She rolled her eyes and looked up again. "Oh, Kami! What did I do to deserve this?! How do I get myself into these situations?" She rubbed her head and heard Goku trying to sneak back up to the ship. To take her mind off of Vegeta, she turned and yelled "You guys BET on me?!" So it was back to torturing the guys.

It actually didn't take long for Bulma to finish her rampage: she was too wound-up to bitch properly. Which was another reason she didn't blow up at Vegeta. She was a little too out of it to really process anything after the ship nearly blew up yet AGAIN. She was tempted to say the hell with it and live here the rest of her lonely life.

"Bulma," Krillin began hesitantly about an hour after she chewed the two of them out.

"Not now Krillin," she snapped, not turning around. "I'm NOT in the mood."

He crossed his arms. "Well, Vegeta said he wanted to talk to you. Alone."

"Then tell him to get his fat ass out here. Or, better yet, tell him to go--"

"WOMAN!"

This time she turned. "Dammit, Vegeta! I HAVE a FREAKING name!"

He only crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "I know."

"Then why the hell don't you USE it?!"

Vegeta turned his head to look at Goku and Krillin. "What did you want him to tell me?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Tell me."

"I would, but you wouldn't understand. It would only be giving you freaking ideas. And I don't need that right now."

Krillin, who knew EXACTLY what Bulma was going to say, turned to the Saiyan. "She was going to say to go--"

Bulma grabbed him by his shirt and shook him so the last part of the sentence couldn't be understood. By human ears anyway. Vegeta's keen hearing picked up the garbled words and he only shook his head.

"Woman, do YOU even know what that means?"

"What? Go fuck yourself? Yeah."

He smirked. "Might I ask how?"

"I asked the morons that told me that to define it. Then I told them exactly what it meant and they shut up." She batted her eyes at him. "My father was actually not-so-proper in my youth," Bulma finished with an evil smile. "In fact, he was rather wild."

Krillin raised his eyebrows. He couldn't imagine the good doctor being anything except slightly strange, but always kind and proper toward his daughter. It almost blew his mind.

"And...?"

Bulma threw her hands up and glared at him. "It means my father taught me how to swear, lunkhead!"

Vegeta smiled for the briefest second. "At least you've gotten over him. I couldn't stand having such an emotional mate."

"Excuse me?! Did I just hear you say MATE?!"

He smirked at her and gave one sharp nod. "You heard me, woman. That's exactly what I said."

Bulma sputtered for a second before getting herself under control. "You know, I already HAVE a BOYFRIEND! That's what we call them on Earth. Not MATES! I am NO ONE'S MATE!"

Vegeta only stared at her. "And who would that be?"

"Why? Want to fight him or something?" she asked sarcastically.

"If I have to," Vegeta acknowledged.

THAT got her attention. "WHAT?!!"

He idly tapped his foot and glared at her. "Do you have a hearing problem woman? I'm getting sick of repeating myself."

"And I'M getting sick of you giving me orders and saying something about me being your MATE! That DOESN'T exactly sit well with me!"

Vegeta cocked his head thoughtfully. "What does that mean?"

"It means I DON'T LIKE IT!!!"

"You don't have much of a choice," he said blandly.

"I'll have as much choice as I want, and I'm telling you, Prince Frieza's-little-puppy, I'll--"

She got cut off as Vegeta grabbed her roughly and lifted her a good two feet off the floor. Scowling at her, he said menacingly, "I am NOT Frieza's slave. Don't you EVER say that!"

Bulma realized she'd gone over the line on that one. Something about the evil warlord had a profound effect on Vegeta: hell, it was the only insult he'd actually RESPONDED to. She gulped and felt calm, easy hands guiding her back down to the floor. It was Goku, holding onto her waist.

He looked dangerously at Vegeta. "If you ever TRY to hurt her again Vegeta..." he threatened.

The older Saiyan glared right back. "I would never hurt her. It was only to scare her a little."

Bulma growled and leaned back against Goku. "Fuck you Vegeta. Stay out of my sight until we get back, or it could get VERY unpleasant. Excuse me, Goku." She pushed past her friend and wiped her eyes. 'How could I think I like a bastard like him?' she asked herself. Then she stopped and looked in the mirror. Scowling at her own stupidness, she admitted, "But, still.... I DO."

"Bulma?" Goku asked, rapping softly on the door.

"What?" she asked miserably, head still buried in her pillow. She didn't bother to look up when the hinges squeaked to indicate the door was opening.

"Woman, WHAT are you doing?!"

Bulma raised her head to glare at him. "Bastard! Don't you know how to listen?! I told you to stay the fuck away from me!"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Woman," he began irritably.

Bulma stood and grabbed at the back of his neck. "Get. Out. Of. My. Sight," she hissed. "NOW!"

"No."

Before she could explode and get herself seriously hurt, she released him and plopped back down on the bed. "Where did Goku go?"

"Kakorrot? He's right there."

Looking past the seemingly tall figure in front of her, Bulma could see her friend talking to Krillin.

"Tell him to come here."

"Why don't you?"

"Because short as you are, I STILL can't get his attention if you're in front of me," she growled. Vegeta stiffened just the slightest bit, imperceptible to the untrained eye.

He scowled but turned around. "Kakorrot, the woman wants to talk to you." Then he gave her a quick glance out of the corner of his eye and left. Bulma was shocked almost speechless. He'd NEVER listened to her before. Hell, he never even indicated he'd even HEARD her in the past month.

Goku didn't seem fazed at all. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Not really. I just wanted him to go away."

Goku was far from being insulted. "I think you hurt his feelings, Bulma."

"Goku, the man is a cold-blooded, ruthless, BOSSY, bastard and a killer!" He gave her a look and she closed her eyes, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I know," she moaned. "And I even feel a little BAD about it."

"You should apologize to him."

"I SHOULD, yes," Bulma admitted.

"And...?" Goku prompted.

"AND I have NEVER apologized for ANYTHING in my ENTIRE life! Why should I start now?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," Goku said smoothly.

"I know," Bulma moaned as she walked past Goku. "I don't believe this. That... IDIOT is going to be the end of me!" she ranted as she walked past Krillin in Vegeta's direction. "After this, someone shoot me."

"For what? What's going on?" Krillin asked as she walked by.

"We would Bulma, but I think the ki blasts would just bounce off!" Goku called in from the other room.

"What? Am I missing something here?" Krillin asked as he looked wildly around. "Goku!"

"What?" the taller man drawled, walking back to his best friend.

"What is going on?" Krillin asked evenly, voice almost as threatening as Vegeta's. He was determined to get some answers.

"She's going to do something she's never done before."

"Die?" Krillin suggested sarcastically.

"Unfortunately for Vegeta, no. She's going to apologize." Krillin was shocked immobile, which gave Goku more than enough time to grab the back of the other man's fighting outfit.

"Hey!" Krillin protested when he found he could only run as far as Goku's arm could extend. "I want to hear this!"

"You'll have to listen from here then."

"What?!"

"*I* can hear them."

"You're a freaking SAIYAN! Of COURSE you can hear them!" Krillin crossed his arms and slumped back against Goku. "This sucks. I have to know how Vegeta does it. He's already shocked her speechless, and NOW he's getting her to APOLOGIZE."

============================================

Gohan started to pace again as he looked up at the castle. For some reason, King Kai hadn't allowed him to go inside. The martial arts master had only been gone five minutes before Gohan was bored stiff. Pacing wasn't much better, but at least he was moving.

He stopped as his teacher came out, looking totally shocked. "Gohan... they want to see you," he said in a surprised monotone. His face never changed expression, and Gohan thought he looked like he saw a ghost. Which was pretty close since he WAS in another dimension.

"Yay! Princess Snake!" Gohan yelled as he ran through the doors and jumped into the woman's arms. "How are you?"

She smiled fondly at the little boy. "Great! I'm glad you came back to visit. But..." She looked at him and shook her head. "You haven't been wished back yet."

"I know. King Kai let me come!" he replied happily. "I missed you guys."

"And our food I'll bet," one of the assistants added from behind, carrying a platter of dishes and giving the little fighter a wink.

Gohan slowly turned pink. "Well, I missed you guys TOO!"

Snake laughed as she set him down. "Would you like something while you're here?"

"Yeah!" Then he looked down. "If that's all right with you that is."

She ruffled his grown-out hair. "For you Gohan, anything."

He nodded eagerly. "Oh, wait! Um... King Kai said something about sleepy grass." He rolled his eyes back into his head like the message was printed on the inside of his forehead. "Was that what you gave me last time? That sugar-stick stuff?" No one answered and King Kai's mouth dropped discreetly. "Could I have some of that too?"

King Kai glared at the princess and she only shook her head. "I never tried to eat him," she said defensively. Pulling on her coat, she asked, "What kind of snake do you think I am? Eating children! And one I like!"

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me! Um... Dad says he forgives you for trying to eat him last time, and... thanks for taking care of me and... and I think that was it." Gohan smiled at her, and she couldn't help grinning back.

"Goku? HE told you that? He's here?" the blond assistant asked. "I don't think we could feed BOTH of them." She put a hand to her head. "I better go check the kitchens..."

"No! Wait! Daddy's not here!" Gohan said, waving his arms to get her attention.

"What? Then how...?"

"Mental training," Gohan answered simply.

"Ah. I DON'T see. Mind elaborating?" King Kai asked sarcastically. He'd heard of it, just not by that name.

"It's a technique that lets people put their minds in another dimension and train. They don't get hurt and they don't die, but they get the same experience and power that they would normally," he recited, remembering Krillin's professor-like description. Then he looked down at himself and smiled faintly. "Guess you can get to it no matter where you are."

"Food's up!" someone called from the other room. The brunette carried the platter out and saw their visitor. Not knowing Gohan was there, she almost dropped the food in her rush to get over to him.

He was caught in a crushing hug, even for a Saiyan it was a little hard to breathe. "Glad to see you too," he choked out with a huge grin. "Getting... harder... to... BREATHE."

She took the hint and put him down. "Sorry kiddo."

He grinned up in appreciation, "You're stronger than you look."

She grinned back. "You bet! Didn't King Kai tell you not to judge someone by how they look?"

"No." He blinked and smiled. "Mr. Piccolo did."

The young brunette looked down at the single serving platter and shook her head. "I thought she was serving a full-blown five-course meal. Guess I'll have to bring out the rest of the food then, huh?"

"Don't forget the sleepy grass!" he called as she turned to go back. He got a strange stare from everyone and he put his head down. "Is that a problem? It tasted good."

King Kai only shook his head. Goku's son never ceased to amaze him. Power, brains AND manners. Snake shook her head to clear it and said pleasantly, "Of course Gohan. Girls..."

She didn't have to finish the sentence. They were already on it.

Gohan smiled at King Kai. "Are you going to eat with us?"

The blue being cleared his throat. "Um, no. I'm not really hungry." He stole a glance at the softly chuckling Princess Snake and barely suppressed a scowl.

"Okay," Gohan said, obviously disappointed.

"What's with the long face, little man?" the blond asked cheerfully. "Dinner is served!"

Gohan suddenly appeared at the table and was pulling out the chair when Snake turned all the way around to see what he was doing. Gohan bowed slightly and smiled, gesturing to the chair.

"Why thank you," she said as she sat and placed a kiss on his cheek. King Kai nearly fell over when he saw the kindness the old witch was displaying.

Gohan scrambled into his chair just as the next serving platters were brought out. He grinned mischievously and said, "Princess Snake. Guess what?"

"I don't know."

"Guess!"

Not liking the glint in the boy's eye, she cautiously uttered a "What?"

He grinned wider and picked up one of the utensils by his plate. "I know how to use a fork again!"

She blinked, expecting something very different. Then she smiled in wary relief and shook her head. "Good job Gohan!" she said, trying to match his excitement.

"King Kai reminded me. If Mom saw my table manners before..." Even as he drifted off he started shoving food into his mouth. Slowly enough to be seen. Barely.

King Kai finally got over the fact that the infamous Princess Snake was acting... NICE -- and to a MALE at that -- he slowly worked his way into a seat two away from her.

She smiled kindly, with none of the usual malice or trickery he was notorious for. "So kind of you to join us, King Kai. Something to eat?" She offered him whatever was dangling off the end of her fork.

He'd plainly seen her eat it, and she was as prone to sleepy grass as anyone else, but still he refused. "So," he said carefully, "how did you get him to sleep the first time if sleepy grass doesn't work?"

"Oh, all he needed was a bath. Just like any other little kid," she answered carelessly. "He's getting one tonight before he leaves," she said, directing the sentence at Gohan.

"Do I have to?" he asked around a mouthful of... something.

"Yes," she said patiently. "You are NOT leaving here smelling like gym socks!"

Gohan looked indignant, then sniffed carefully. Then he crossed his arms and slouched in his seat. Then he muttered something and closed his eyes.

"What?" Snake asked.

"I said it's not gym socks. It's Mom's meatloaf."

Snake paused with her spoon halfway to her mouth, looked at and put it back down. "I think... I don't want to know."

Gohan smiled apologetically. "Mom could cook a lot of things. Meatloaf wasn't one of them."

Snake looked down and realized that all the food was gone, save whatever she still had on her plate. She pushed it toward the always-hungry warrior and smiled.

"You sure?" he asked as he put his hands on the edges. She nodded and he immediately inhaled the remainder of the meal.

"Now, my boy, it's time for that bath." She stood and put a hand on his arm.

"All right," he said in a defeated tone. "But could you not give me these kind of clothes again?"

"Well, what do you want?" she asked as she lead him away.

King Kai stood and called after them, "Don't worry about it! I'll take care of it!" She gave him a strange look over her shoulder, but he only smiled in reply. She shrugged and led him off to the waters.

Twenty minutes, two songs and a story later, Snake was tucking the exhausted young boy into bed. She kissed his forehead and smiled as she pulled the blankets up to his chin. Ruffling his hair, she turned to see that she'd been observed.

"I've never seen this side of you, Snake," King Kai said teasingly as he took a step into the room.

"And you won't again unless Gohan is here," he replied quickly, with a bit of acid in her voice.

One corner of his mouth curved upward a little. "Ah, yes. That's the Princess Snake I know and despise."

She only smiled at him and ran a hand through Gohan's hair. "If you hate me so much, then why were you coming here so often?"

He shrugged. "I needed the schoolbooks for Gohan."

She smiled down at him. "The little scholar." Even in his sleep Gohan rolled over and groaned. She laughed and shook her head. "Either he's still awake or he's been called that a lot at home."

"How much do you know about his family?" King Kai asked as he fiddled with something.

"Not much." Then she brightened. "But we can find out! Come with me!" Before he could object, she grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

"Princess?"

"Give me the mirror!" she commanded, finally stopping. King Kai walked by, then got yanked back when Snake got the mirror and started walking in the opposite direction.

"WHAT are you DOING?!"

"Shh," Snake said as they entered the room again. "You'll wake him up!" She carefully placed the dream mirror in front of the unsuspecting boy and smiled. "This family often dreams about home life. We'll just get to know them this way," she explained.

She was right: the first dream was of Gohan sitting at his table, listening to his mother while he slouched over his book, half-awake and still answering the problems.

"That's my little scholar," Chi Chi urged cheerfully. Snake winced at the statement. No wonder Gohan hated that nickname. "Keep going."

"Mom, can't I go out and play?" he asked as he finished the book in front of him and dropped the pencil on the last page.

"Not until you finish your work. You want to get into a good college don't you?"

"Mom," he complained. "I'm only three!" That scene faded and then flashed forward to when he would return home.

The vision was blocked by Chi Chi smothering Gohan in a hug, then huge lips coming into view. Once Chi Chi backed off a little, Snake could hear Gohan complaining, "Mo-om! Not in front of the guys!" Despite the fact that he'd only known them for a total of ten minutes -- 5 minutes before they died and 5 minutes after -- it was still embarrassing.

"Gohan! You are never to do that to me again! You hear me?! I don't think I could stand it if you died again!"

He patted her waist, as high as he could reach, and said honestly, "I don't plan on doing it again any time soon." Then he realized that the waist had become a shoulder and it was white. Frieza.

"O, no," Princess Snake said to herself. She remembered the LAST time Gohan had a dream about the evil warlord. "I can't watch this again." She handed the mirror to King Kai and went in search of a stiff drink.

"What's that all about?" King Kai wondered as he watched her leave. Then he turned his attention back to the dream. The fight was just beginning.

Just before Frieza blew him to kingdom come, Gohan sat bolt upright in bed, hands grasping at the new clothes King Kai had given him. He didn't tell anybody, but he'd been having that nightmare a lot lately.

Gohan rubbed his eyes and muttered something incoherent before rolling over and facing the wall, eyes open as wide as he could keep them.

King Kai silently put the mirror down and walked back out into the main hall. "I need a drink myself," he muttered as he saw Princess Snake holding a fizzing glass.

"It has sleepy grass in it," she warned.

"The more the better," he replied as he sank into a chair. "I don't think I'll get any sleep on my own at this rate. Give me whatever she has," he told the next assistant that came by.

"YOU want THAT?"

"Something you didn't understand?" The brunette frantically shook her head. "All right then. But I want to be awake when Gohan gets up later."

Snake handed him her glass. "This should be enough for you. I need a stronger dose anyway."

King Kai took the cup and chugged down half without hesitating. 'Gohan was right. It does taste like sugar.'