Ain't No Day At The Beach

by Zukone



Scrippity dip, and don't give a lick.
Who cares, you already know.
*note: not my favorite chapter but dont worry chapter 4 will be worse. It's a promise.*

Oh yes and dedication primarily to Naso. Thanks Delerium's Hostage for the surprise review. Helped motivate me to post Chapter 3 on FF.net and start working on Chapter 4. Dedication also to Steve-0, Sa, Speed, Makotojs, Katchie, Bunny just for reviewing.
Chapter 3

An Oasis is a Mirage


Ranma kicks up sand as he wanders around. His brain is on overdrive. This whole staying away and not getting involved is way too taxing on the mind. He storms ahead trying to shake off some thoughts.

*Oof.* He crashes into someone. His instinct, of course, is to blame the other person, so without even thinking twice, he lashes out verbally. "Hey watch where you're... going." Ranma, startled briefly, finally spits out an unwelcoming, "Oh, it's you." Just the person he was trying so hard to avoid.

"Ranma?" Akane replies surprised.

He nods. Ranma searches for any trace of the Lost Boy Blunder. Didn't want Ryoga blaming him for messing up his "groove." He doesn't see him around and figures Akane must have told him off or something. That's what he gets for trying to put the moves on her. He tried to warn Ryoga that Akane wasn't dating material. Oh well. He's probably running off somewhere whimpering with his spiral little tail between his legs. Ranma visibly revels in that thought.

Ranma quickly jerks his head to the side when he realizes the amount of time he spent looking at Akane with such a dumb expression on his face. He was actually thinking of being nice to Akane before he comes to his senses. "I thought you were off with Ryoga somewhere." he quips still trying to be snide.

"He had to go. Ukyo needed him so we didn't get a chance to talk."

"Maybe his eyes finally sent the message to his brain and he realized just how uncute you are. Ukyo looks more like a girl than you ever will."

Mallet in hand, she's swinging before he can process it. Ranma braces himself but with a smirk. He had anticipated the retaliation. A small part wanted it even. He didn't know exactly why he wanted it, but he did. He flinches.

He feels a small tap from the mallet.

A tap?

It was almost even less than that. He looks and sees a calm smile on Akane's face. She's holding the mallet, but not threateningly. Her arms are crossed and the mallet hangs down from one of her hands almost playfully

"That's what you expected me to do isn't it?" Akane winks.

No that wasn't what he had expected. That wasn't what he had expected at all. "Just great," he thought, "this is the second time I get to have a stupid look on my face in front of Akane."

"But harder" Akane elaborates as her face returns to the unreadable smile she had earlier..

"No..." Ranma denies as a natural reflex. It was a good non-inciting comment. Thinking it over he mentally kicks himself. He missed a perfect opportunity to insult her. He should have said, "Yeah that's exactly what I expect from a violent tomboy like you."

He tries to convince himself that he didn't say it because he valued his life, but he wasn't so sure that was it. He was more worried about something else. Ranma always knew that if he said something rude or crude Akane would hit him or react some typical self righteous Akane way. Right? ...Her reaction to his first insult along with that 'smile', if you could call it that, left way for a sliver of doubt.

"Aren't you just a little bit mad?" he asks still trying to figure things out in his head.

Akane shakes her head. "Maybe you don't think I'm cute. What can I do about that? It's not like that matters. And Ukyo... she is pretty."

"Now wait. I didn't say that." Ranma tries to interrupt, confusion taken over by worry.

"Her hair is longer than mine. I can see why you might say something like that." Akane says.

"but, but.."

"Don't get me wrong. I disagree with you. I'm not ugly, and I don't look like a boy." she said firmly.

"HAH" Ranma blurts out. She admitted it. She admitted that she didn't agree with him. That was kindof like an argument. Right? He decides it is and readies to retaliate.

"Your thighs are too thick, your built like a brick" he thinks of saying, but he stops himself. It had been such a long time since he had used those lines in particular. They are old and tired. He can easily think of some fresh insults. She was using new weapons, that stupid emotionless smile for one, so he figures he should do the same thing. After some deliberation an idea pops into his head and he opens his mouth to really nail Akane. But he doesn't. Ryoga's words pour into his head, "Things are starting to change... she won't like you as a friend either."

There is silence as that awkward outburst hung in the air. He doesn't really notice it.

"It's not a big deal" Ranma tries to convince himself shrugging it off. It's not like he cared about that tomboy enough for it to matter. He finds himself lingering on this thought outloud. "Not even friends" he says in barely a whisper.

"huh?" Akane asked confused.

"Not even friends..." Ranma repeats scrambling to find an end to this sentence that will fit into their conversation.

"Not even friends can take away someone's warped sense of self image." he blurts out sounding a little more sophisticated than he usually does. He did it. Somehow he did it. He recovered and he insulted her at the same time. It was almost typical of him. He applauds himself. One point for the macho man.

Akane closes her eyes. "Ah." she says nodding. Ranma's face eases up. After all Akane almost found out that he actually cared... a little. Maybe. Even though he didn't. Anyway, she took it as a typical Ranma reply and she wasn't that mad so he was happy.

"But.." she continues.

"eh" Ranma utters. There's more?

" I wouldn't take someone who thought of me that way as a friend."

Ranma stares curious but not giving away of his real emotions. Why didn't she just hit him? That made better sense than talking. He understood that. He knew how to react to that. But this crap... he couldn't stand it. It was getting irritating.

His mind strains. He couldn't think of anything to say except "Oh yeah". If he had thought harder or been less mentally drained he could have said. "Who'd want to be your friend anyway." or something to that effect. He saves himself the embarrassment of not being able to come up with an insult, as easy as they were for him to think up when it came to Akane, by shrugging his shoulders. It came off as if he were saying the same "whatever" type of message.

"I wouldn't either," a male voice interrupts.

"Ryoga," Ranma says flatly.

"There you are." Akane bursts out pleasantly surprised. Almost too pleasant for Ranma's liking.

"Sorry, Akane are you busy." he says arms still crossed.

"Not really no."

"Are you sure because what I want to say is very important and..." Ryoga continue flabbergasted, "it might take some time."

"I'm sure. It's OK, I'm all yours."

"Yeah don't let me keep you." Ranma tries to say nonchalantly but comes out with a hint of sarcasm. He murmurs something under his breath in a sing songy way as they turn away from him. He finally turns his back as he so often does when Akane got on his nerves. And she had been doing that a lot today. Out of earshot he mocks "It's OK,." while twisting his face in an exaggerated goo goo doll smile that made him sick. "I'm all yours."

He continues a little big more exaggerated. "Oh thank you. thank you for saving me from that big bad Ranma. He's so evil. And you, you're perfect. It's not like you turn into a pig and take advantage of me. No, you would never do that. I'm sure Ranma would. He's such a pervert. Didn't you know that. He's just a half man half woman freak." he breaks off into normal speech. "I'll be glad when she finds out."

He turns around again catching them a couple of moments before they walked out of sight. He studies her walk. She doesn't run, nor does she linger. Both of those are signs of emotions. He doesn't really see it that way. He just knows that how she walks bothers him. It wasn't like the smile, cold and distant. It was plain and simple and it annoyed him just as bad. She just doesn't care does she? She remains unaffected while he...

The announcer blares over the speakers interrupting his thoughts. He looks up at the speakers as if it were something to see and not hear. He isn't so much interested in the message as much as he is distracted by it.

"...In just one hour our daily beach volleyball tournament begins. A cash prize of 100 dollars to the runner up and our grand prize will include a cash prize of 200 dollars, accommodations at Sundown Hotel, dinner at their award winning restaurant, AAAAAAaaaaaaaaand a luxurious..."

"Give me that.." another voice demands breaking him off. Audible grunts are heard in an obvious struggle for the microphone.

"Who are you? You're not supposed to be in here." the announcer objects.

Other beach goers join Ranma in staring at the speakers. They hear another grunt and then, "Hey give that back"

The mike reverbs as it makes a thud sound. "Uh... Ouch. Hey, that hurt." The thud is heard again.

"Now that that's taken care of. Is this thing on. Ehem.. Ehem. To him who is declared victorious in this tournament of champions will win as their prize a token of appreciation from the lovely Akane and/or the voluptuous redheaded blossom. These tokens, these simple yet glorious kisses, will be yours if you can defeat me. Try if you dare. As a gentleman I must accept your challenge, but be forewarned, you will be crushed. In the end I will collect the prize for myself. Thus saith Tatewake Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinken High"

"Is he for real." a passerby says.

"Its just a gimmick. No one does stuff like that anymore. This oughta be fun."

"Yeah. Lets see if the chicks are worth it." with that both of the boys rush off to sign up for the tournament.

Ranma's eyes are focussed on the sand, but he's seething in anger. His bad mood just got worse. How could Kuno get this wrong? One simple thing and he gets it wrong. "That idiot!," he finally explodes.

Shampoo grabs a hold of him in the middle of his explosion. She was already diving before he yelled. "He gasps not expecting an attack. When he finally realizes what's going on he stares at her, clinging onto him for dear life. "Get off of me." he demands. Shampoo can't seem to understand this.

"You caught me off guard earlier today. I was in the middle of a fight and you just showed up. Don't think anything's changed. I told you I never wanted to see you again and I still mean it. So just get lost." He tries to pry her off of him but that doesn't seem to work adding more anger to his already irate mood. She stays firmly attached. "If Ranma no want Shampoo, Ranma no be so easy catch."

His temperature rises as she death grips him tighter. He's had enough. He flings her off kinda rough, but nothing she can't handle. "Keep your hands off me. Don't you get it Shampoo, I don't like you like that. I never did like you in that way, and you know what, I've grown to not like you at all."

"Why Ranma say such things?" Shampoo asks confused. She tries to get closer.

"You have to ask?" He yells back at her not having to reflect much about this thought. "If it wasn't for you..." He lingers. He had too much to say. The list was long. How many times had she put peoples lives in danger? How many times did she almost kill him or Akane to get what she wanted. How many times did she mess with his family or Akane's family. It all culminated in the day of his wedding. His failed wedding . How could that homicidal freak stand there and just say "Why Ranma say such things" so nonchalantly. He holds his tongue. "I'm in a bad mood. I just need to calm down." he tells himself.

"Shampoo say she sorry"

The final straw is broken when he hears that phony apology. "If it wasn't for you I'd be so much happier. You and Ukyo and probably a whole lot of other people. But mainly you and Ukyo. And more You than Ukyo." He smiles. As fake as it is. He was trying to imitate that smile on Akane's face. It irritated him when she did it to him so it probably worked for everyone.

Shampoo stares at him in disbelief. Everything she's ever done was for him. Everything she's ever known. Why is he doing this to her. It had already been a year. A whole year and still he wasn't letting her forget her mistake. It had been too long since she's had a good quality latch onto him. And still he was depriving her. She knew what was stopping him... But Akane didn't love him, not like she did. If she could get him to see that then he'd be able to move on.

"Akane will never love you like I do." she thinks in Chinese. She translates it. She goes for it.

"Akane no love you." she says, but she couldn't bring herself to finish. He was still so mad at her. But she has to. He has to know. "Akane no love you," she said again.

Ranma gapes at her in a sort of trance unsure of where that comment came from. He cuts a look at her letting her know that he didn't understand what the heck she was talking about. Shampoo tries again a little more rushed, "Akane's love for you is hate compared to my love. " It made perfect sense to her and she comes out with it as easy as she can translate it. She says, "Akane hate you, not like my love"

Ranma's eyes close, his hands trembling with rage. "Akane hates me, huh" he repeats to himself, anger boiling over to maximum. He figures that he had tolerated enough.

"Well" he sighs. "Thanks for the revelation. I have one for you too. I. Hate. You." he says without faltering.

He pauses.. " no no no," he says slowing down and with big gestures. "let me speak so you can understand," He looks at her dead on and enunciates for her in case she wouldn't understand. "Ranma. Hate. Shampoo."

Shampoo is stunned, but Ranma keeps on. "Does that make sense to you because I'll say it again if it doesn't? I'll learn it in chinese too so they'll be no communication problems."

Shampoo slaps Ranma instantly regretting it.

"My my. And here I though Akane was the violent one?" Ranma says sarcastically ready to pour on more.

"Shampoo sorry" She says lightly. She reaches out to where she slapped him. He jerks his head away making it clear that he didn't want her to touch him. Shampoo withdraws her hand and backs away slowly. She crossed the line... the line behind the line she's always crossed before. She runs away.

"Humph" Ranma really didn't care about being hard on her. She had no right, absolutely NO RIGHT to speak for Akane. They weren't even talking about her. He was talking about him being left alone. About them, Shampoo and Ukyo, trying to kill people at his wedding. Failed wedding. If it weren't for them his life wouldn't be as complicated. He sighed. Breaking through the anger he thinks about how Akane had made his life complicated even from the beginning. He smiles. He didn't mind that so much. It was different.

His brief sense of happiness was cut short when he thought about the situation. His mind twirled around to what Shampoo said. The sernity washes off his face and he is full of rage again. OK so Akane did have a lot to do with his anger. What a stupid claim though. So what if Akane didn't love him. So what. He could live with that. That didn't mean she hated him, that she didn't like him.

He could take the first part, maybe, but not the second part. It was really painful to hear those words. "Akane hates you." He just couldn't take that. So he did the only thing he knew how to do that would do some damage. He made the girl angry. He didn't think it was the greatest solution in the world, but she threw it in his face first. The irony of it all. Shampoo didn't hit him as often as Akane but she sure got mad when he told her he hated her. She reacted just like he did. The situations were a little different. Shampoo was in love, or obsessed, with him. And he.. well it was different with Akane. He "almost" thought of her as a friend. Still... it affected him.

Ranma ponders for a moment. His eyes light up. It was the perfect plan. The fool proof plan to get some normalcy in his life. Well as normal as it gets for him anyway.

~~~oooo(_)~~~(_)oooo~~~

"How did the repairs go"

"Fast"

"You were gone for two hours."

"Really? Oh I hadn't noticed."

"I'm glad it went by fast for you. It's like they say, time flies when you're having fun."

"Yeah" Ryoga confirms.

As much as he loves Akane, he is not having fun. It was like this all the time. How is this moment different from any other. Why did he feel like every moment he spent with her was like an eternity. Excruciating eternity. Not because it was so bad, but because of the lie and because he's never told her how he felt. This, the burden he always chose to bear. Still chooses. And it still feels like agony riding on its forever horse. Right on cue... the silence.

Akane fiddles with her thumbs. He sits there quietly.

"The sun's nice" Akane points.

Ryoga nods. "The orange color is nice."

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

Akane smiles. Ryoga smiles. They sit there quietly.

"It doesn't have to be this way!" he yells inwardly.

"Uh" they both started.

"You go first" Ryoga says glad to have a scapegoat.

"No you go. You're the one that had to tell me something important."

Ryoga stares at her for a brief time. It is the Now or Never moment between them. Something always got in the way usually. Actually Ranma always got in the way. They made a deal though. As if Ranma could be trusted to keep a deal. Ryoga takes a good look around. He sighs. It is just as he fears. He doesn't see Ranma or sense him anywhere. "Ranma isn't around to mess things up. More importantly, you can blame him if this goes wrong." he tells himself.

The plan is in effect. He inches forward and as he usually does, straining, unsure of himself. he fights it- the urge to turn around and poke holes in the nearest thing, laughing hysterically. the urge to just forget it all and resign himself to this awful untrue friendship. A friendship forged solely on the basis of him getting Akane. A friendship based on deceit and lies, a God awful friendship where he couldn't even confess his Jusenkyo curse, that he was her beloved pet pig P-chan. And he could never admit that because he knew it would end everything. If he did, it would be him instead of Ranma who couldn't have Akane, not even as a friend.

As he inched closer his thoughts raced in his head, "Get Akane, Get cured, keep Akane. Don't tell Akane about P-chan. Just get Akane, get cured, keep Akane. Forget about confessing anything."

He is close enough. So close he can taste it. Both of their heads are at a slant. He knows what she's thinking. She thinks that he's coming in closer to whisper something to her. This thing that he wanted to confess to her. He's not so innocent. His fang shows a little more as he smirks. His lips are ready. This time he's ready for it.

"Don't you want it to be perfect?" Ryoga hears. The scene has changed. There's a cheerful little kid playing in the water.

"How.. huh..WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!!" Ryoga yells out frustrated.

The kid doesn't react to him.

"Did you hear me. I have something very important to do. I need to get to.. Awwwe I don't even know where I was."

"I want it to be perfect." the kid says solemly. Ryoga looks at him curiously. There are two fangs hanging precariously from either side of his mouth.

"Who are you?"

The kid doesn't react.

"Well at least tell me what your talking about because you don't make any sense."

"Love" he says. His mood picks up again.

"huh"

"I was talking about love."

"So you CAN hear me."

"Why don't you come in the water Mr."

"Ryoga shakes his head vehemently"

The kid slumps his shoulders visibly upset. He starts heading out of the water.

Ryoga starts off apologetically. "I'm sorry I can't. Even if I wanted to..."

The kid doesn't seem to accept this as an answer

"Look..." Ryoga says more firmly, "I don't like getting wet."

The kid grins as he drags something out of the pool of water. he splashes Ryoga with a bucket full of cold water.

"If you were already wet it wouldn't matter." The kid runs along the edge of the water splashing all the way.

"Why you little.." He shouts chasing after the boy. The boy laughs squeels in playful delight. Ryoga splashes behind him and grabs him. The boy is having too much fun struggling to get free. Ryoga finally rests him under his shoulder.

"Eheeee" the boy lets out a final tease.

"What's so funny, huh?" Ryoga said to him tickling him. The kid giggles innocently in response. Tickling could be used as torture. He learned that from Ukyo. At least the water feels good. He can forgive the kid for splashing him with... cold... water. He drops the kid who belly flops painfully onto the water. He looks at his hands. The kid lifts his head.

"Do you get me now?" the boy says.

"How did you?"

"Don't you do anything stupid, K?" The kid instructs. He turns his head and blushes a little. "Cuz I want it to be perfect."

Ryoga looks around. There's no one around besides them two. It's just a pool of water, a few palm trees, and fresh leafy greens. Far off from there in every direction is sand. Sand sand and more sand. "Oh I get it now." he says skeptical.

"But you know what? You need to grow up and realize something." Ryoga scowls at him. The kid looks at him curiously. "An oasis is a MIRAGE!" he yells angry while slamming his fist down into the water.

The kid flinches. Water splashes everywhere.

His lips are close to Akane and he's more ready than before. He's fully committed to this kiss.

Victory. Is. His.

End Chapter 3
Author's Notes

Story Directions Editing stuff


Oh yeah.. there are a ton of errors care of laziness and not seeing.Whatever. So long as you don't blame it on miseduction and plain not knowing. heh heh *grins sheepishly*

I experimented with this chapter because... I felt like it. Do they work?
(yeah they might not but I'll keep it in because I am lazy)
Misc.
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