A/N: Blah, blah, GW ain't mine, shounen ai, 1+2, 3+4, implied ?+5, thanks to all those lovely lovely people who reviewed, please keep reviewing. I wuv you all (it's the espresso talking, honest). Heero POV.
Checkmate
Chapter 7: Ice Cream
Chang's face was white, jaw practically touching the floor and eyes wider than your average bush-baby's. "Y-Y-Yuy... M-M-Maxwell... what..."
I froze, unsure what to do. Duo rolled out of my arms and stood up, the very picture of righteous outrage. "Shit, Wu, don't you ever knock?? Some of us are kinda busy here, if you know what I mean, sorta ruins the mood when prudes like you come strolling in and have a schizo moment actin' like you've never seen people kissing before when you obviously *have*, you don't live long in the same house as Trowa 'n' Quatre *without* seeing people kissing, and I thought *I* was blatant, geez, anyway I bet you and your mystery guy have at least smooched let alone doin' other stuff, course you won't tell me but I'll find out sooner or later, but if you wanna come barging in at least *knock* next time, I hope you're happy that's all I'm saying, you've completely spoiled the atmosphere and if Heero beat you up it'd be your own frickin' fault but he won't, at least he won't if he knows what's good for him, not that I'm like those dumb bossy Valley Girl girlfriends like Releeeeeena or Dorothy but I just don't think he should 'cause if you were dead or in hospital or whatever then I couldn't irritate you, apart from drawing funny pictures on the cast or coffin but that's just not the *same* somehow, and anyway Heero'd probably have a go at me for screwing up the mission and we'd all have to do more work so just count yourself lucky, that's all, and *knock* next time."
Duo paused for breath and Chang stared at him. "How do you *do* that?"
"What, the talking thing? Oh, it's just breath control." Duo said airily. "I bet you could do it if you tried."
"I doubt it."
"Betcha could... hey, you mentioned ice cream."
"Yeah, it's downstairs if you aren't too busy." There was a hint of sarcasm in Chang's voice.
"I'm sure we can manage five minutes out of our busy schedule, right Heero?" I shrugged - personally I prefer Duo to ice cream, but for him the stuff is practically a religion. "And by the way, since you know about me and Heero now I think you should tell us about this guy you've been seein' on the side. In fact, it's probably the only *honourable* thing to do."
"Yeah, like emotional blackmail is the honourable thing to do." Chang snapped.
"Huh? Me? Blackmail? I didn't even *mention* blackmail, I was just *saying*... anyway, about this ice cream."
"It's still downstairs, Maxwell, no-one's going to bring it up to you."
"OK, last one down's a sucker!" And with that, Duo dived for the door with the speed of a bullet (believe me, I should know). Chang and I exchanged glances.
"He's *your* boyfriend, Yuy, therefore he's *your* problem."
I peered at him suspiciously. "You seem remarkably casual about all this."
"Well, you didn't exactly keep it subtle, did you? Oh, and do you think you could plan the first date some time in the next three days? Barton and I had a bet on when you were finally gonna get it together and there's Pop-Tarts riding on this."
"I'll think about it. As long as I get a percentage of the takings."
"Sure. What's ten per cent of a box of Pop-Tarts?"
"TEN PER CENT??"
We walked downstairs haggling and finally agreed on 60-40 (which actually worked out as 60-20-20 since I would have to share with Duo). As we got to the door of the dining room, Chang stopped me.
"Just one more thing. Could you, like, not do any PDAs until after the date? Please? Otherwise I'll end up doing Barton's laundry for a month."
"Geez. What *else* are you people betting on?"
"Well, Maxwell is running a sweepstake on how long it'll be before you finally get sick of that dumb bitch Relena and shoot her..."
"I don't wanna know."
"Right. But no PDAs, OK?"
"What's in it for me?"
"Uh..."
I sniggered and opened the door to be greeted by a yell from Duo, who always goes a little strange after too much ice cream. "Yo, Heero! Looks like Wu-bear's a sucker again, as if we didn't all know that already, how'd you like to place a bet on who his mystery guy is?" Good grief, I thought, this boy's turned the safehouse into a gambling den. "Hey, you'd never guess what he and Trowa were betting on..." Ignoring Chang, who was standing behind me hissing "Don't do it!" over and over, I swept Duo into my arms and kissed him.
Well, hell, I got to annoy Chang *and* kiss Duo. What would you have done?
"...uh... hi, Heero..." Duo said weakly when I pulled away. "...uh, interesting greeting..." It was the most lost for words that I'd ever seen him. At the table (where the impeturbable Winner was still sitting quietly eating everyone else's ice cream) Barton grinned evilly at Chang, who ignored him and gave me a dirty look.
"There was no need for that, Yuy." he growled.
"Hey, I disagree." Duo said.
"Well, you would." Chang muttered as Duo attached himself to my waist, clinging on like a limpet.
" 'Course I would, I mean this *is* Heero and disagreeing with you is what I'm good at, just like chess and fixing gundams and video games and Quatre are you eating my ice cream?"
"Mmph?" Winner swallowed hastily with a guilty look. "Who, me?"
"Put the spoon *down*, Quat. Go eat Wuffy's food."
"Too late." Trowa said lazily. "Whose bowl do you think he made a beeline for first?"
Not for the first time, I found myself wondering whether this bunch of semi-deranged ice cream addicts, plus me, were really the piloting geniuses Duo keeps saying we are. On the other hand, I couldn't be making this up. No-one has an imagination *that* warped (except Duo, but I don't *think* I'm a figment of his imagination).
"Anyways, anyone know what's on at the movies?" Duo piped up, mouth full of (my) half-melted ice cream. " 'Cause me and Heero are goin' out tonight."
"Which cinema?" Chang croaked, sounding more than slightly worried. There were three cinemas in the town where we were staying.
"Uh, probably the Odeon, that's nearest isn't it? D'you know if they're showing 'Revenge of the Evil Living Dead Zombie Cheerleaders VI'? I *soooo* wanna see that. Nothing like a good comedy."
"Yes, it's showing. No, you can't go to see it." Chang said flatly. "It's NC-17. You could barely pass for fifteen."
"If this is gonna turn into another short joke, let me remind you that you aren't exactly on the tall side yourself." Duo growled. "And we have fake IDs." We do indeed all have fake IDs, partly so we can buy weapons and so on when we need them but mainly so Duo can buy beer at will. (And no, that's not what we tell the doctors: 'Hey, Dr J, I need a fake ID so I can coerce my friends into humiliating drinking games, introduce a game of strip poker, pass out and have to be carried to bed by my long-suffering buddy Heero at three in the morning.') "And why're you worried which cinema we're going to, huh? Got a hot date? Worried we'll embarrass you?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"Well, we won't." I said flatly. "Because we're going *now*." If you hang around Gundam pilots for long enough, you learn to see arguments coming and avoid them. And it's easy enough to spot when Chang and Duo are arguing or about to argue: their lips move.
"Spoil my fun..." Duo whined as I dragged him out of the house, barely stopping to grab our jackets, and slammed the door behind us. "I don't see why you had to interrupt us, if we'd played that right maybe we'd have got a glimpse of Wufei's new squeeze and I don't know if the film's even *on* around this time I mean it's a bit early for an NC-17 film isn't it and it's not as if there'd be a matinee and..."
"Shut *up*, Duo." I muttered, pinning him to the door to kiss him. (Well, do *you* see him complaining?) "We'd better go before Chang looks out of the window and has a nervous breakdown."
"Uh, too late." Duo said, looking at the dining room window. Through it I could seeWinner grinning, Chang slowly turning purple (so much for Mr Laidback) and Barton raising a casual eyebrow. Duo waved. I cringed. We left.
~TBC
Checkmate
Chapter 7: Ice Cream
Chang's face was white, jaw practically touching the floor and eyes wider than your average bush-baby's. "Y-Y-Yuy... M-M-Maxwell... what..."
I froze, unsure what to do. Duo rolled out of my arms and stood up, the very picture of righteous outrage. "Shit, Wu, don't you ever knock?? Some of us are kinda busy here, if you know what I mean, sorta ruins the mood when prudes like you come strolling in and have a schizo moment actin' like you've never seen people kissing before when you obviously *have*, you don't live long in the same house as Trowa 'n' Quatre *without* seeing people kissing, and I thought *I* was blatant, geez, anyway I bet you and your mystery guy have at least smooched let alone doin' other stuff, course you won't tell me but I'll find out sooner or later, but if you wanna come barging in at least *knock* next time, I hope you're happy that's all I'm saying, you've completely spoiled the atmosphere and if Heero beat you up it'd be your own frickin' fault but he won't, at least he won't if he knows what's good for him, not that I'm like those dumb bossy Valley Girl girlfriends like Releeeeeena or Dorothy but I just don't think he should 'cause if you were dead or in hospital or whatever then I couldn't irritate you, apart from drawing funny pictures on the cast or coffin but that's just not the *same* somehow, and anyway Heero'd probably have a go at me for screwing up the mission and we'd all have to do more work so just count yourself lucky, that's all, and *knock* next time."
Duo paused for breath and Chang stared at him. "How do you *do* that?"
"What, the talking thing? Oh, it's just breath control." Duo said airily. "I bet you could do it if you tried."
"I doubt it."
"Betcha could... hey, you mentioned ice cream."
"Yeah, it's downstairs if you aren't too busy." There was a hint of sarcasm in Chang's voice.
"I'm sure we can manage five minutes out of our busy schedule, right Heero?" I shrugged - personally I prefer Duo to ice cream, but for him the stuff is practically a religion. "And by the way, since you know about me and Heero now I think you should tell us about this guy you've been seein' on the side. In fact, it's probably the only *honourable* thing to do."
"Yeah, like emotional blackmail is the honourable thing to do." Chang snapped.
"Huh? Me? Blackmail? I didn't even *mention* blackmail, I was just *saying*... anyway, about this ice cream."
"It's still downstairs, Maxwell, no-one's going to bring it up to you."
"OK, last one down's a sucker!" And with that, Duo dived for the door with the speed of a bullet (believe me, I should know). Chang and I exchanged glances.
"He's *your* boyfriend, Yuy, therefore he's *your* problem."
I peered at him suspiciously. "You seem remarkably casual about all this."
"Well, you didn't exactly keep it subtle, did you? Oh, and do you think you could plan the first date some time in the next three days? Barton and I had a bet on when you were finally gonna get it together and there's Pop-Tarts riding on this."
"I'll think about it. As long as I get a percentage of the takings."
"Sure. What's ten per cent of a box of Pop-Tarts?"
"TEN PER CENT??"
We walked downstairs haggling and finally agreed on 60-40 (which actually worked out as 60-20-20 since I would have to share with Duo). As we got to the door of the dining room, Chang stopped me.
"Just one more thing. Could you, like, not do any PDAs until after the date? Please? Otherwise I'll end up doing Barton's laundry for a month."
"Geez. What *else* are you people betting on?"
"Well, Maxwell is running a sweepstake on how long it'll be before you finally get sick of that dumb bitch Relena and shoot her..."
"I don't wanna know."
"Right. But no PDAs, OK?"
"What's in it for me?"
"Uh..."
I sniggered and opened the door to be greeted by a yell from Duo, who always goes a little strange after too much ice cream. "Yo, Heero! Looks like Wu-bear's a sucker again, as if we didn't all know that already, how'd you like to place a bet on who his mystery guy is?" Good grief, I thought, this boy's turned the safehouse into a gambling den. "Hey, you'd never guess what he and Trowa were betting on..." Ignoring Chang, who was standing behind me hissing "Don't do it!" over and over, I swept Duo into my arms and kissed him.
Well, hell, I got to annoy Chang *and* kiss Duo. What would you have done?
"...uh... hi, Heero..." Duo said weakly when I pulled away. "...uh, interesting greeting..." It was the most lost for words that I'd ever seen him. At the table (where the impeturbable Winner was still sitting quietly eating everyone else's ice cream) Barton grinned evilly at Chang, who ignored him and gave me a dirty look.
"There was no need for that, Yuy." he growled.
"Hey, I disagree." Duo said.
"Well, you would." Chang muttered as Duo attached himself to my waist, clinging on like a limpet.
" 'Course I would, I mean this *is* Heero and disagreeing with you is what I'm good at, just like chess and fixing gundams and video games and Quatre are you eating my ice cream?"
"Mmph?" Winner swallowed hastily with a guilty look. "Who, me?"
"Put the spoon *down*, Quat. Go eat Wuffy's food."
"Too late." Trowa said lazily. "Whose bowl do you think he made a beeline for first?"
Not for the first time, I found myself wondering whether this bunch of semi-deranged ice cream addicts, plus me, were really the piloting geniuses Duo keeps saying we are. On the other hand, I couldn't be making this up. No-one has an imagination *that* warped (except Duo, but I don't *think* I'm a figment of his imagination).
"Anyways, anyone know what's on at the movies?" Duo piped up, mouth full of (my) half-melted ice cream. " 'Cause me and Heero are goin' out tonight."
"Which cinema?" Chang croaked, sounding more than slightly worried. There were three cinemas in the town where we were staying.
"Uh, probably the Odeon, that's nearest isn't it? D'you know if they're showing 'Revenge of the Evil Living Dead Zombie Cheerleaders VI'? I *soooo* wanna see that. Nothing like a good comedy."
"Yes, it's showing. No, you can't go to see it." Chang said flatly. "It's NC-17. You could barely pass for fifteen."
"If this is gonna turn into another short joke, let me remind you that you aren't exactly on the tall side yourself." Duo growled. "And we have fake IDs." We do indeed all have fake IDs, partly so we can buy weapons and so on when we need them but mainly so Duo can buy beer at will. (And no, that's not what we tell the doctors: 'Hey, Dr J, I need a fake ID so I can coerce my friends into humiliating drinking games, introduce a game of strip poker, pass out and have to be carried to bed by my long-suffering buddy Heero at three in the morning.') "And why're you worried which cinema we're going to, huh? Got a hot date? Worried we'll embarrass you?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"Well, we won't." I said flatly. "Because we're going *now*." If you hang around Gundam pilots for long enough, you learn to see arguments coming and avoid them. And it's easy enough to spot when Chang and Duo are arguing or about to argue: their lips move.
"Spoil my fun..." Duo whined as I dragged him out of the house, barely stopping to grab our jackets, and slammed the door behind us. "I don't see why you had to interrupt us, if we'd played that right maybe we'd have got a glimpse of Wufei's new squeeze and I don't know if the film's even *on* around this time I mean it's a bit early for an NC-17 film isn't it and it's not as if there'd be a matinee and..."
"Shut *up*, Duo." I muttered, pinning him to the door to kiss him. (Well, do *you* see him complaining?) "We'd better go before Chang looks out of the window and has a nervous breakdown."
"Uh, too late." Duo said, looking at the dining room window. Through it I could seeWinner grinning, Chang slowly turning purple (so much for Mr Laidback) and Barton raising a casual eyebrow. Duo waved. I cringed. We left.
~TBC