A/N: this is an alternate ending to my story remembrance …that was the one I originally wrote but I had lost it.  I think people might like this one better so I decided to post this one up as another ending…  I am continuing to write but because of computer problems …i.e. lack of computer I have been unable to update as often as I would like...thanx for your patience…^_______^          

I feel warm, safe.  I can feel a weight on my chest and the nearness of a body. Dawn? She sometimes creeps into my room and holds me at night when she has a nightmare or misses mother too much.  I slowly open my eyes.  "This is not my room," I think, looking around.  I recognize the place and I know that it's not Dawn that is holding on to me as if I was a lifesaver.  Angel.

            I barely remember how I got on the bed.  He had started sobbing and had reached out for me.  I had gone to him and had done my best to give him comfort. I knew now why he was crying.  When he had gotten himself under control, he had told me about his son.  Connor.

Angel had never thought that he could have had a child.  It had been a miracle for him.  He had been so happy and than the baby had been taken from him.  He knew that his son was not dead but he would never be able to see him grow.  His son was gone.

            I had listened to him. I had had so many questions but I had not said anything.  It was not the time for me to make any comments or feel hurt that he had had a child and not told me.  Or that it was not his and mine.  But that was not important.  He had needed someone to talk to.  Someone who had not been there, someone like me, I guess. So I had just listened and taken him in my arms.  In between all the talking and the tears we had ended up on the bed. 

            I had lain down and he had put his head on my shoulder. I ran absent fingers in his hair. He look so tired but he said that he could not sleep knowing that his son was not there.  That he might never be able to see him again.  So I had told him that if he wanted my help, I would help. I told him that I was here for as long as he needed me.

            " How does forever work for you?" he had replied to me.  My heart had skipped a beat when I had heard him say the same words that I uttered to him when he had come after my mother's funeral. I had just held him closer knowing that it was the sorrow talking.  We had fallen asleep like that. Me holding him and him clinging on to me like a child.

            Another day had come.  I had to get up.  I felt overwhelm from all I had learned the day before.  I could process it now that he was still asleep.  I look at him peacefully sleeping. " Oh God he has a son!" Had my mind corrected. And I cringed at the thought.  Just the thought of loosing Dawn was too much for me.  I wish I could have protected him from that, from the pain that I had seen in his eyes last night.  But I couldn't.  I did not even know where to start.  He had not told me he had a child to begin with. " When did we become such strangers with one another?" I look down at him and find myself staring at chocolate colored eyes. 

            "Angel" I whispered.

            " I…am sorry…for not …telling you." He answered.  Tears came to my eyes.  Why was he sorry? IT was his time to grieve; I did not need any explanation now. Why was he thinking about how I would feel in a time like this? " Because he cares about you? Answered a voice in my head.  I pushed it aside.

            " You have nothing to be sorry about." I ran some fingers through his tussled hair.

            "Angel, I am so sorry … OH MY GOD!!!" Came a voice from the opening of the room.  We both look to see who it was.

            Cordelia was standing at the door.  At least I think it was she, she looked different.  Her exclamation brought a few more people scurrying behind her.  They were all shouting their worry not knowing what to expect but definitely not expecting the picture that Angel and I were offering in the bed.

            " Oh my god!" echoed a little brunette standing next to Cordelia. A young Black man and a green man followed her in.  The green man cleared his throat but did not say anything. 

            Angel was still in my arms when the party came in.  I did not know most of them.  Other than Cordelia they were all strangers to me and I tighten my grip around Angel.  I felt the need to protect him against this invasion. 

            " Angel? Asked Cordelia coming closer to the bed.  I felt Angel let go of me with each step of hers and for some reason I felt a pang in my heart.  By the time she sat on the bed next to us he was closer to her than me.  She reached out to him and they just gave each other a look. That look said so much. I got off the bed and took a few step back from them. 

            " You are an outsider" said the voice in my head. " You don't belong here." And I felt it just by looking at Cordelia and Angel.  They were feeling the same lost.  She could understand him more.  She had known his son; she had taken care of that son.  I was not needed anymore.  I felt… forgotten. But wasn't it what you wanted" said that annoying voice in my head.  To be forgotten.

            I walked around the bed unnoticed by the couple on the bed.  I could hear their low voices.  Cordelia was being supportive. Angel was telling her about his feelings. Angel was talking about his feelings.  He never told me about his feelings I thought.  I picked up my bag and walk towards the door.  The others that had come in after Cordelia were standing outside in the hall. 

            I could feel the curious eyes follow me as I pass them in direction to the lobby.  I knew that they must have been wondering who I was but I did not feel like talking.  I just wanted to go and forget what I had just seen.  I was not needed here, not anymore.  I was not even sure if I had been needed at all.