Kano: Now it's time for part two of our favorite Psychopath's ramblings.
Can you feel the insanity ?! Can you ?!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. And I ate the hunk of cheese from Itsame. I do, however, own this nifty necklace I bought from a Peddler-Goth during homeroom today. Yay for Peddler-Goths and their interesting merchandise!
- I am: Dichotomy - part two -
I don't know how he knew.
I don't know how he found out.
By all accounts on the speaking box, Bakura's Father had died when a burial site they were excavating caved in. I thought it an ironic ending.
..And yet he knew.
That afternoon when he came back from school, he refused to speak to me; he wouldn't even look at me.
I couldn't understand why.
There was no possible way he could have known what I had done, and even if he somehow did, he must have realized that I did it to protect him.
Ra be damned, everything I do is for him!
I confronted him finally, in his bedroom. I closed the door silently behind me, waiting for him to say something- anything. But I was not prepared for him to lash out at me.
No, not my gentle Ryou Bakura.
Yet I still remember the dark intonation of his voice.
He shouted at me- well, as much as Bakura can shout. I saw the anger in his light blue eyes, and when I reached out to him through our mind it was palpable, like so much sand blown through the air.
His anger fed my own animosity.
How dare he disrespect me like this..how dare he yell at me! Me!
I hit him.
He was so small, more delicate then his adrenaline-pumped fury would have had me believe.
I had never raised my hand, or indeed my voice, to him before. He stared up at me from where he had landed on the floor, and I knew his look of shock must have mirrored my own.
I tried to speak to him, to make sure he was alright, but I knew the fear I saw in his eyes would never go away.
I had to protect him.
I had to protect him from me.
I did it to keep him safe..always for him.
And yet because of all my long years trapped inside the Sennen Ring, trapped in it's unending darkness, I never thought..
I didn't think he would start to forget, that the fear he had for me now would produce those phantom images and voices of myself.
And yet he did.
And still he does.
I've tried..I've tried a thousand times to reach him and draw him out of this prison he wanted no part of, but his mind his distant..no broken, but more like it has been buried and lost somewhere far away.
I miss having him around. It is not so much any particular quality or emotion of his that I miss. It is all of him, his depression, his silence, his happiness- always present, and yet fleeting, his anger just as rare. And that ever-present light, that willingness to always try and see the best in people.
I know that I can't just not go to school, not act as Bakura would have. It would attract too much attention to myself, to the fact that I am not who everyone thinks I am.
No.
My weak, frightened, insane little Bakura..I can't abandon him either.
I am his protector..and yet..
It felt good when I hit him.
Hearing him cry out, seeing that fear in his eyes and that fine sheen of sweat on his alabaster skin.
It was only in that moment that I realized how completely I controlled him, that he truly was mine to do with as I pleased. No one could stop me.
Now that moment is gone, but I know the emotion is not. It is buried, much like Bakura's memories.
Despite all the pain it has caused him-even if I had another chance I would not stay my hand.
In fact I think I would kick him while he lay on the floor.
And I would like it.
-TBC
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. And I ate the hunk of cheese from Itsame. I do, however, own this nifty necklace I bought from a Peddler-Goth during homeroom today. Yay for Peddler-Goths and their interesting merchandise!
- I am: Dichotomy - part two -
I don't know how he knew.
I don't know how he found out.
By all accounts on the speaking box, Bakura's Father had died when a burial site they were excavating caved in. I thought it an ironic ending.
..And yet he knew.
That afternoon when he came back from school, he refused to speak to me; he wouldn't even look at me.
I couldn't understand why.
There was no possible way he could have known what I had done, and even if he somehow did, he must have realized that I did it to protect him.
Ra be damned, everything I do is for him!
I confronted him finally, in his bedroom. I closed the door silently behind me, waiting for him to say something- anything. But I was not prepared for him to lash out at me.
No, not my gentle Ryou Bakura.
Yet I still remember the dark intonation of his voice.
He shouted at me- well, as much as Bakura can shout. I saw the anger in his light blue eyes, and when I reached out to him through our mind it was palpable, like so much sand blown through the air.
His anger fed my own animosity.
How dare he disrespect me like this..how dare he yell at me! Me!
I hit him.
He was so small, more delicate then his adrenaline-pumped fury would have had me believe.
I had never raised my hand, or indeed my voice, to him before. He stared up at me from where he had landed on the floor, and I knew his look of shock must have mirrored my own.
I tried to speak to him, to make sure he was alright, but I knew the fear I saw in his eyes would never go away.
I had to protect him.
I had to protect him from me.
I did it to keep him safe..always for him.
And yet because of all my long years trapped inside the Sennen Ring, trapped in it's unending darkness, I never thought..
I didn't think he would start to forget, that the fear he had for me now would produce those phantom images and voices of myself.
And yet he did.
And still he does.
I've tried..I've tried a thousand times to reach him and draw him out of this prison he wanted no part of, but his mind his distant..no broken, but more like it has been buried and lost somewhere far away.
I miss having him around. It is not so much any particular quality or emotion of his that I miss. It is all of him, his depression, his silence, his happiness- always present, and yet fleeting, his anger just as rare. And that ever-present light, that willingness to always try and see the best in people.
I know that I can't just not go to school, not act as Bakura would have. It would attract too much attention to myself, to the fact that I am not who everyone thinks I am.
No.
My weak, frightened, insane little Bakura..I can't abandon him either.
I am his protector..and yet..
It felt good when I hit him.
Hearing him cry out, seeing that fear in his eyes and that fine sheen of sweat on his alabaster skin.
It was only in that moment that I realized how completely I controlled him, that he truly was mine to do with as I pleased. No one could stop me.
Now that moment is gone, but I know the emotion is not. It is buried, much like Bakura's memories.
Despite all the pain it has caused him-even if I had another chance I would not stay my hand.
In fact I think I would kick him while he lay on the floor.
And I would like it.
-TBC