Forman's driveway. Donna and Eric lay on the hood of the Vista Cruiser.
Donna: So Jackie and Hyde are renewing their wedding vows in a couple of days.
Eric: Yep. You know I never thought that Hyde would ever get hitched. Let alone renew vows with someone like Jackie.
Donna: It is pretty unbelievable. Of course most people never thought I'd never go out with you. And look at us now, engaged and going to college together.
Eric: But we're different. We're like the perfect couple.
Donna: You think they made a mistake?
Eric: Does Red enjoy sticking his foot up my ass?
Donna: (sitting up to look at him) I thought you were okay with Jackie and Hyde being together.
Eric: Correction, I got used to it. I just figured that eventually one of them would come to their sense. But now (shuddering) they're married.
Donna: I don't know Eric. I think they could make it. Have you talked to Hyde about this at all?
Eric: No (sighs). How do you tell your best friend he made the biggest mistake of his life?
Forman Living Room. Everyone but Jackie and Hyde.
Kitty: Okay people. We still have a lot to do before tomorrow's wedding and we don't have much time to do it. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties start in just a few hours! Okay Fez and Donna, finish decorating in here. Red and Eric you're in charge of cleaning. Joanne and I will finish all the cooking that we can. Jackie and Hyde are meeting with Pastor Dave. Okay that's everyone. (stressed) GET TO WORK!
Everyone scatters off to do his or her chores. Kelso and Bob look around confused.
Kelso: Um. Mrs. Forman. You didn't give us anything to do.
Kitty: (laughs nervously) Oh you noticed.well. how about you two go watch TV down in the basement?
Bob: How is that helping?
Kitty: Oh trust me. You'll be helping a great deal. It's a very important task.
Kelso and Bob head towards the basement.
Kelso: (muttering) Why do I always get the hardest tasks?!
Eric and Red are moving the furniture out of the living room.
Red: Good god! Look at all this crap that's been underneath this couch!
Eric: Some of the food down there has been discontinued! Years ago!
Red: I think something is growing. Damn it. We have our work cut out for us.
Eric: I can't believe we have to clean all this up. (Muttering to himself) Especially for a wedding I don't even support.
Red: (not hearing) What did you say?
Eric: Oh nothing.
Hours later the work is all done. Red and Kitty sit at the kitchen table drinking some tea.
Jackie and Hyde enter and join them.
Jackie: Mr. Forman. There's something that I need to ask you.
Red: If it's for money you can just forget it. We told you that we'd pay for the food and that's it. You two got yourself in this mess; you pay for it.
Hyde: We don't want your money Red.
Jackie: It's just that, my dad's still in prison and my mom's nowhere to be found. You two have been so great to both Steven and me. You're like second parents to all of us kids. So, Mr. Forman I was wondering if you would walk me down the aisle?
Kitty: Aw. Jackie that is so sweet and unlike you.
Red: (obviously touched) Jackie I would be honored.
Jackie: Oh thank you Mr. Forman!
She leaps up and kisses both Formans on the cheek. Hyde hugs Kitty and shakes hands with Red. They leave holding hands.
Kitty: Oh Red. I guess we did do something right.
Red: I guess so. (pause) I'm still not giving them any money.
Bob's House. All the boys are there including Red and Bob. Loud music is playing and everyone is drinking. Eric and Hyde are sitting off to the side.
Eric: So, the last night of single hood. Want to go get some hookers?
Hyde: Yeah right. Plus I'm not really single remember? Already married.
Eric: (Bitterly) Oh right. How could I forget?
Hyde: What's that supposed to mean?
Eric: Nothing. It means nothing.
Hyde: Whatever man. Do you have the best man speech thought up? Try not to make it too mushy.
Eric: About that man, I don't think I can.
Hyde: Why not? You've had a whole week to prepare.
Eric: Look, I just can't.
Hyde: (angrily) What's with you man? You've been acting weird all week.
Eric starts to walk away.
Eric: I don't want to get into it.
Hyde: It's too late for that. If you have something to say Forman, just say it.
Eric: Fine. You want to know how I really feel? I think you're being an idiot. Marrying Jackie was a huge mistake.
The music gets turned down. Kelso, Fez, Red and Bob gather around.
Hyde: Excuse me?
Eric: You heard me. I mean seriously Hyde. Did you even think about what you were getting yourself into? YOU MARRIED JACKIE! She's a rich girl who loves unicorns! You two have nothing in common! It could never work!
Hyde: You know what I think Forman. I think you're just jealous. You never thought I could ever be happy. I was always loser Hyde who made you look better.
Eric: Hyde you know that's not true.
Hyde: No, what I know is that you're not invited to the wedding. (Turns to Fez) Fez. You're taking over! You're best man.
Fez: Oh this is the happiest and saddest day of my life.
Eric: Hyde, come on man
Hyde: No. And don't any of you tell Jackie about this. She'd be devastated. We'll just say that you're sick. Got that Forman?
Eric: Hyde.
Hyde: Got that Forman?
Eric: Yeah I got it.
Hyde stomps off. Everyone stands around uncomfortably.
Kelso: So. did we get any strippers?
Everyone looks at him like the idiot that he is.
Forman's Kitchen. Kitty walks in from the living room to find Hyde sitting alone. You can hear cheering and loud music in the other room.
Kitty: Steven! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your party?
Hyde: Wasn't much of a party.
Kitty: What happened?
Hyde: Eric thinks we made a mistake. That Jackie and I have nothing in common so it could never work. Do you agree with him?
Kitty: Steven I love my son. But sometimes he can be a dumbass.
Hyde: You really think so?
Kitty: Look at Red and I. We're as different as night and day and we've made it work. You love her right?
Hyde: Yeah I really do.
Kitty takes his hand.
Kitty: Then that's all you have to remember, no matter what. You know, you two remind me of when Red and I were young.
Hyde: Thanks Mrs. Forman
Jackie enters the kitchen.
Jackie: Steven! What are you doing here?
Hyde: I just missed you.
Kitty leaves the two lovebirds to be on their own.
Jackie: Really?
Hyde: Of course. Look can we just go to bed?
Jackie: Steven are you alright?
Hyde: Yeah. I just want to hold you in my arms.
Jackie: Aw. Steven.
She lightly pecks him on the lips. The two walk out arm in arm.
Donna: So Jackie and Hyde are renewing their wedding vows in a couple of days.
Eric: Yep. You know I never thought that Hyde would ever get hitched. Let alone renew vows with someone like Jackie.
Donna: It is pretty unbelievable. Of course most people never thought I'd never go out with you. And look at us now, engaged and going to college together.
Eric: But we're different. We're like the perfect couple.
Donna: You think they made a mistake?
Eric: Does Red enjoy sticking his foot up my ass?
Donna: (sitting up to look at him) I thought you were okay with Jackie and Hyde being together.
Eric: Correction, I got used to it. I just figured that eventually one of them would come to their sense. But now (shuddering) they're married.
Donna: I don't know Eric. I think they could make it. Have you talked to Hyde about this at all?
Eric: No (sighs). How do you tell your best friend he made the biggest mistake of his life?
Forman Living Room. Everyone but Jackie and Hyde.
Kitty: Okay people. We still have a lot to do before tomorrow's wedding and we don't have much time to do it. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties start in just a few hours! Okay Fez and Donna, finish decorating in here. Red and Eric you're in charge of cleaning. Joanne and I will finish all the cooking that we can. Jackie and Hyde are meeting with Pastor Dave. Okay that's everyone. (stressed) GET TO WORK!
Everyone scatters off to do his or her chores. Kelso and Bob look around confused.
Kelso: Um. Mrs. Forman. You didn't give us anything to do.
Kitty: (laughs nervously) Oh you noticed.well. how about you two go watch TV down in the basement?
Bob: How is that helping?
Kitty: Oh trust me. You'll be helping a great deal. It's a very important task.
Kelso and Bob head towards the basement.
Kelso: (muttering) Why do I always get the hardest tasks?!
Eric and Red are moving the furniture out of the living room.
Red: Good god! Look at all this crap that's been underneath this couch!
Eric: Some of the food down there has been discontinued! Years ago!
Red: I think something is growing. Damn it. We have our work cut out for us.
Eric: I can't believe we have to clean all this up. (Muttering to himself) Especially for a wedding I don't even support.
Red: (not hearing) What did you say?
Eric: Oh nothing.
Hours later the work is all done. Red and Kitty sit at the kitchen table drinking some tea.
Jackie and Hyde enter and join them.
Jackie: Mr. Forman. There's something that I need to ask you.
Red: If it's for money you can just forget it. We told you that we'd pay for the food and that's it. You two got yourself in this mess; you pay for it.
Hyde: We don't want your money Red.
Jackie: It's just that, my dad's still in prison and my mom's nowhere to be found. You two have been so great to both Steven and me. You're like second parents to all of us kids. So, Mr. Forman I was wondering if you would walk me down the aisle?
Kitty: Aw. Jackie that is so sweet and unlike you.
Red: (obviously touched) Jackie I would be honored.
Jackie: Oh thank you Mr. Forman!
She leaps up and kisses both Formans on the cheek. Hyde hugs Kitty and shakes hands with Red. They leave holding hands.
Kitty: Oh Red. I guess we did do something right.
Red: I guess so. (pause) I'm still not giving them any money.
Bob's House. All the boys are there including Red and Bob. Loud music is playing and everyone is drinking. Eric and Hyde are sitting off to the side.
Eric: So, the last night of single hood. Want to go get some hookers?
Hyde: Yeah right. Plus I'm not really single remember? Already married.
Eric: (Bitterly) Oh right. How could I forget?
Hyde: What's that supposed to mean?
Eric: Nothing. It means nothing.
Hyde: Whatever man. Do you have the best man speech thought up? Try not to make it too mushy.
Eric: About that man, I don't think I can.
Hyde: Why not? You've had a whole week to prepare.
Eric: Look, I just can't.
Hyde: (angrily) What's with you man? You've been acting weird all week.
Eric starts to walk away.
Eric: I don't want to get into it.
Hyde: It's too late for that. If you have something to say Forman, just say it.
Eric: Fine. You want to know how I really feel? I think you're being an idiot. Marrying Jackie was a huge mistake.
The music gets turned down. Kelso, Fez, Red and Bob gather around.
Hyde: Excuse me?
Eric: You heard me. I mean seriously Hyde. Did you even think about what you were getting yourself into? YOU MARRIED JACKIE! She's a rich girl who loves unicorns! You two have nothing in common! It could never work!
Hyde: You know what I think Forman. I think you're just jealous. You never thought I could ever be happy. I was always loser Hyde who made you look better.
Eric: Hyde you know that's not true.
Hyde: No, what I know is that you're not invited to the wedding. (Turns to Fez) Fez. You're taking over! You're best man.
Fez: Oh this is the happiest and saddest day of my life.
Eric: Hyde, come on man
Hyde: No. And don't any of you tell Jackie about this. She'd be devastated. We'll just say that you're sick. Got that Forman?
Eric: Hyde.
Hyde: Got that Forman?
Eric: Yeah I got it.
Hyde stomps off. Everyone stands around uncomfortably.
Kelso: So. did we get any strippers?
Everyone looks at him like the idiot that he is.
Forman's Kitchen. Kitty walks in from the living room to find Hyde sitting alone. You can hear cheering and loud music in the other room.
Kitty: Steven! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your party?
Hyde: Wasn't much of a party.
Kitty: What happened?
Hyde: Eric thinks we made a mistake. That Jackie and I have nothing in common so it could never work. Do you agree with him?
Kitty: Steven I love my son. But sometimes he can be a dumbass.
Hyde: You really think so?
Kitty: Look at Red and I. We're as different as night and day and we've made it work. You love her right?
Hyde: Yeah I really do.
Kitty takes his hand.
Kitty: Then that's all you have to remember, no matter what. You know, you two remind me of when Red and I were young.
Hyde: Thanks Mrs. Forman
Jackie enters the kitchen.
Jackie: Steven! What are you doing here?
Hyde: I just missed you.
Kitty leaves the two lovebirds to be on their own.
Jackie: Really?
Hyde: Of course. Look can we just go to bed?
Jackie: Steven are you alright?
Hyde: Yeah. I just want to hold you in my arms.
Jackie: Aw. Steven.
She lightly pecks him on the lips. The two walk out arm in arm.