Kelso, Fez, and Hyde are all at Donna's house preparing for the wedding.
Hyde: Okay Fez. I know you got throw into this at the last minute. Are you sure you can handle being best man?
Fez: Of course. If the scrawny neighbor boy could do it than so can I.
Hyde: Yeah and part of your job is to keep him away from the wedding. I don't want that dill hole ruining today. As if Jackie and I aren't stressed enough, he has to go and add to it.
Fez: Yes, he is a moron. Now as best man do I get any perks?
Hyde: Such as?
Fez: Such as a huge supply of candy and whores?
Hyde: No!
Fez: Damn. Again, why is it such an honor to be best man?
Kelso: Why does Fez get to be best man anyway? I've known you longer.
Hyde: No offense man but I don't want Jackie's ex-boyfriend as my best man. Plus, you're toast would probably consist of stories of you two doing it.
Kelso: Fair enough.
Donna and Eric are hanging out in his room. He's been banished there for the remainder of the day.
Eric: I can't believe Hyde kicked me out of the wedding!
Donna: Eric, you told him he was an idiot for going through with it! What did you expect to happen?
Eric: I just wish he would remember that I'm his best friend and I don't want him to get hurt. He just needs to realize what a huge mistake this whole thing is.
Donna: How can you be so sure you're right?
Eric: Come on, it's JACKIE and HYDE. If that's not the poster couple for divorce, I don't know who is. You agree with me don't you?
Donna: Not really. I mean how does anyone know what marriage will wok or not. Just take a look at the mess my own parents made. Anyway, I don't have time to talk about this right now. I have to help Jackie get ready.
Eric: She's actually allowing you to help her do her hair and makeup?
Donna: Of course! (Off Eric's look) Okay, I get to hold the mirror. (Gives him a quick kiss) Bye hon. Try to stay out of trouble.
Red and Kitty are getting ready in their bedroom. Red has a nice suit on and Kitty is still wearing her robe and is removing the curlers from her hair.
Kitty: Today is going to be such a beautiful day!
Red: Why do we have to have the ceremony at our house? Everything always happens in our house!
Kitty: Red Foreman! Steven is like a son to us!
Red: I know that. But, does it have to be in our house? There are going to be all these dumbasses here and you'll make me be nice to each and every one of them. I am not a nice person Kitty!
Kitty: Of course you're not Red. But you aren't going to ruin this day! We already have one family member banished. I don't want to be the only Foreman allowed at the wedding!
Red: Fine, Kitty. Whatever you say. But I won't hug Bob! I'm still scarred from the last time!
Eric lies in bed. He can hear laughter from downstairs. Someone knocks on his door.
Eric: Who is it?
Jackie pops her head inside.
Jackie: Is it okay for me to come in?
Eric: (fake coughing) Uh yeah.but don't get too close. I don't want you to catch what I have.
Jackie steps inside. She's wearing her wedding dress and has her hair pulled back.
Eric: Wow. you look beautiful.
Jackie: (shyly) Thank you Eric. I wanted to see how you're feeling.
Eric: Awful. I'm sorry I'm going to miss everything.
Jackie sits down on a chair besides his bed.
Jackie: I know it would have meant a lot to Steven to have you there. It would have meant a lot to me too.
Eric: It would have?
Jackie: Of course! Look, I know we've never really gotten along that well.
Eric: That's an understatement.
Jackie: But, you've a great guy and you're like a brother to Steven. So, I want you to know that I love him so much.
Eric: You also said that you loved Kelso.
Jackie: And I did. But this is different.
Eric: How?
Jackie: Steven makes me want to be a better person. Every moment I'm not with him, I'm thinking about him and can't wait to see him again. I'm always learning something new from him. I know it's nuts to be marrying so young but I just can't see my life without him in it. Do you know what I mean?
Eric: (Feeling guilty) Yeah. I think I do.
Jackie: Well, I should probably let you rest. I wish you could be there.
Eric: Me too.
Jackie leaves and shuts the door behind her. Eric looks up at the ceiling, feeling horrible.
Eric: Me too.
Jackie, Red, Kitty and Donna wait in the upstairs hallway for the ceremony to begin. Donna and Kitty are wearing bridesmaid gowns.
Donna: I love my gown Jackie!
Jackie: Well I thought about getting you guys something ugly like in the color orange. You know, to make me look better but then I figured the ugliness would distract from me in the wedding pictures. So, I went with these instead.
Donna: Gee. How thoughtful of you.
Jackie: I know!
Music starts to play.
Donna: Is that "Thank You" playing? We're marching down to Led Zeppelin?
Jackie: Trust me, SO not my idea.
Kitty and then Donna descend the staircase.
Red: Are you ready Jackie?
Jackie: Definitely. Oh I wanted to give you something before we go.
Red: What is it?
Jackie: This (giving him a kiss on the cheek)
Red: (smiling) Okay enough of that mushy crap. Let's get this show on the road.
Hyde: Okay Fez. I know you got throw into this at the last minute. Are you sure you can handle being best man?
Fez: Of course. If the scrawny neighbor boy could do it than so can I.
Hyde: Yeah and part of your job is to keep him away from the wedding. I don't want that dill hole ruining today. As if Jackie and I aren't stressed enough, he has to go and add to it.
Fez: Yes, he is a moron. Now as best man do I get any perks?
Hyde: Such as?
Fez: Such as a huge supply of candy and whores?
Hyde: No!
Fez: Damn. Again, why is it such an honor to be best man?
Kelso: Why does Fez get to be best man anyway? I've known you longer.
Hyde: No offense man but I don't want Jackie's ex-boyfriend as my best man. Plus, you're toast would probably consist of stories of you two doing it.
Kelso: Fair enough.
Donna and Eric are hanging out in his room. He's been banished there for the remainder of the day.
Eric: I can't believe Hyde kicked me out of the wedding!
Donna: Eric, you told him he was an idiot for going through with it! What did you expect to happen?
Eric: I just wish he would remember that I'm his best friend and I don't want him to get hurt. He just needs to realize what a huge mistake this whole thing is.
Donna: How can you be so sure you're right?
Eric: Come on, it's JACKIE and HYDE. If that's not the poster couple for divorce, I don't know who is. You agree with me don't you?
Donna: Not really. I mean how does anyone know what marriage will wok or not. Just take a look at the mess my own parents made. Anyway, I don't have time to talk about this right now. I have to help Jackie get ready.
Eric: She's actually allowing you to help her do her hair and makeup?
Donna: Of course! (Off Eric's look) Okay, I get to hold the mirror. (Gives him a quick kiss) Bye hon. Try to stay out of trouble.
Red and Kitty are getting ready in their bedroom. Red has a nice suit on and Kitty is still wearing her robe and is removing the curlers from her hair.
Kitty: Today is going to be such a beautiful day!
Red: Why do we have to have the ceremony at our house? Everything always happens in our house!
Kitty: Red Foreman! Steven is like a son to us!
Red: I know that. But, does it have to be in our house? There are going to be all these dumbasses here and you'll make me be nice to each and every one of them. I am not a nice person Kitty!
Kitty: Of course you're not Red. But you aren't going to ruin this day! We already have one family member banished. I don't want to be the only Foreman allowed at the wedding!
Red: Fine, Kitty. Whatever you say. But I won't hug Bob! I'm still scarred from the last time!
Eric lies in bed. He can hear laughter from downstairs. Someone knocks on his door.
Eric: Who is it?
Jackie pops her head inside.
Jackie: Is it okay for me to come in?
Eric: (fake coughing) Uh yeah.but don't get too close. I don't want you to catch what I have.
Jackie steps inside. She's wearing her wedding dress and has her hair pulled back.
Eric: Wow. you look beautiful.
Jackie: (shyly) Thank you Eric. I wanted to see how you're feeling.
Eric: Awful. I'm sorry I'm going to miss everything.
Jackie sits down on a chair besides his bed.
Jackie: I know it would have meant a lot to Steven to have you there. It would have meant a lot to me too.
Eric: It would have?
Jackie: Of course! Look, I know we've never really gotten along that well.
Eric: That's an understatement.
Jackie: But, you've a great guy and you're like a brother to Steven. So, I want you to know that I love him so much.
Eric: You also said that you loved Kelso.
Jackie: And I did. But this is different.
Eric: How?
Jackie: Steven makes me want to be a better person. Every moment I'm not with him, I'm thinking about him and can't wait to see him again. I'm always learning something new from him. I know it's nuts to be marrying so young but I just can't see my life without him in it. Do you know what I mean?
Eric: (Feeling guilty) Yeah. I think I do.
Jackie: Well, I should probably let you rest. I wish you could be there.
Eric: Me too.
Jackie leaves and shuts the door behind her. Eric looks up at the ceiling, feeling horrible.
Eric: Me too.
Jackie, Red, Kitty and Donna wait in the upstairs hallway for the ceremony to begin. Donna and Kitty are wearing bridesmaid gowns.
Donna: I love my gown Jackie!
Jackie: Well I thought about getting you guys something ugly like in the color orange. You know, to make me look better but then I figured the ugliness would distract from me in the wedding pictures. So, I went with these instead.
Donna: Gee. How thoughtful of you.
Jackie: I know!
Music starts to play.
Donna: Is that "Thank You" playing? We're marching down to Led Zeppelin?
Jackie: Trust me, SO not my idea.
Kitty and then Donna descend the staircase.
Red: Are you ready Jackie?
Jackie: Definitely. Oh I wanted to give you something before we go.
Red: What is it?
Jackie: This (giving him a kiss on the cheek)
Red: (smiling) Okay enough of that mushy crap. Let's get this show on the road.