Ten reviews? You really like me!

The Review Guy: Yes! Go forth and tell your friends about the glory of this fanfic! Weee!

NessacusGirl: I took it and got Road to the West! Go Go Cactus Man is awesome, though! Heroic-sounding! And go Andy! And poor Jet and Faye! But go Andy!

Writeress: Faye gets raped enough as it is. And rape isn't funny… unless it's like a giant hamster raping a dude, like in Nutty Professor II.

Katie: I cease to entertain you? Shouldn't it be NEVER cease? Unless I'm not funny anymore… oh no!

Trunkz: Okay, here's the next chapter!

MinaraTheNightwalker: Yep! Fun!

Anonymous Guy: Cool song! Uh huh!

Nowhere Man: Thank you!

Blooknaberg: Aw, your review got cut off? Be sure ta write a long one this time! Or don't, it doesn't matter! ^_^

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Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, or any of the characters. If I did, this would be a series on prime-time TV which everyone would love. Yay!

Warning: For the purpose of comedy, most of the characters are OOC. Just warning you now.

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Aboard the Bebop…

"Why do we have to go to Earth?" Faye whined.


"New bounty," Jet said. "He's a murderer who's murdered a whole mess of people, and there's a 40 million wulong bounty on his head."

"F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-" Faye stuttered.


"Don't worry, Faye, I shall protect you from the murderer, for I am Cowboy Andy!" Andy declared. Faye ignored him, her eyes now in the shape of dollar signs.

"F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-for-for-for-for-ty…." Faye stuttered. "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mil-mil-mil…"

"Faye, you alright?" Jet asked, waving his arm in front of Faye's face.

"Mil-mil-million w-w-w-w-wu-wu-wu-wu-wu…." Faye stuttered.

"She's in a money trance," Andy said.

"If we hurry, we can sneak a peek at her boobs!" Jet said. Andy frowned at him.

"Wu-wu-wu-wu-wu-longs…" Faye stammered. "Forty million wulongs? It's mine!"

Faye sprinted into the Redtail and flew off toward Earth.

"And there she goes," Jet said. "I'm not even going to try getting the bounty this time."

"Well, I have to go and protect Faye!" Andy declared, hopping onto his horse. "And… I'm off!"

Andy's horse galloped over to the Bebop's airlock.


"Uh…. Jet?" Andy said. "I need a ship for me and my horse…"

---

Session 29- Murder Murder Melody

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Meanwhile, in a house somewhere on Earth, a man was taking a shower.

"La la la," the man sang. "I'm taking a shower…"

The shower curtain opened to reveal a man carrying a huge knife and a big bottle of chocolate.

"Hello," the knife-wielding man said. "I'm going to stab you to death and then pour this chocolate in your shower."

"Aaaaah!" the showering man screamed. The knife-wielding man the showering man to death. The screen turned to black and white as the chocolate was poured in the shower. Then, the screen turned back to color again. See, because in the original Psycho-

"Shut up," the murderer said.

---

Faye's Redtail landed on Earth in the middle of a small town.

"Now to get those wulongs!" Faye declared. "F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-orty… mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-"

A small boy walked up to Faye.

"You okay, lady?" the boy asked. "Oooh, you have balloons in your shirt! I want one!"

"Mi-mi-mi-mi-million…" Faye stuttered.

"Grrr… I want balloons!" the boy yelled. "I'll just get them myself!"

The boy pulled back Faye's red jacket and vest.

"Those aren't balloons!" the boy cried, pushing the vest and jacket back into place. "Waaaaaaaah!"

"Wu-wu-wu-wulongs…" Faye stammered. She looked at the boy.

"Hello," Faye said. "How are you?"

"You made me think you had balloons! But they weren't balloons!" the boy cried. "I hate you!"

The boy kicked Faye in the leg.

"Owwww!" Faye yelled. "Why did you do that?"

"Go Go Cactus Man" started to play. The faint clicking of a horse's hooves could be heard in the background.

"What's that?" the boy asked. "It sounds like a horsey!"

Cowboy Andy rode up to Faye and hopped off of the horse.

"Hello there, little boy!" Andy said. "Hello, Faye."

"Wow, you're cool!" the boy said in an amazed tone. "Can I ride your horse?"

"Don't let him," Faye said. "He kicked me in the leg!"

Cowboy Andy bent over to the boy's level and stared him straight in the face.

"Why did you kick my friend?" Andy asked.

"She had balloons in her shirt, and I asked her to sell me some, and she ignored me!" the boy cried. "So I looked in her shirt to get the balloons, and they weren't balloons!"

Andy stared at the boy. Faye's face turned red with rage.

"YOU LOOKED AT MY BOOBS?!?!" Faye yelled. "WHY YOU-"

"Forty million wulongs," Andy said softly. Faye's face immediately turned back to normal.

"Never mind!" Faye yelled. "Bye!"

Faye ran off.

"Why did she get mad?" the boy asked.

"You'll find out when you're older," Andy said. "Where are your parents?"

"They got stabbed by the murderer that's been running around…" the boy said sadly. He began to cry.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" the live studio audience said.

"Aw, that's sad!" Andy said. "Don't worry, child! I shall catch the murderer and avenge your parents!"

"Mr. Cowboy sir?" the boy said, tugging on Andy's sleeve.

"Yes?" Andy said. "What is it?"

"Can I ride your horse?" the boy asked.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" the live studio audience said again.

"Since when did we have a live studio audience?" Andy asked. Several disappointed sighs came from the studio audience, followed by the sound of a large door being opened and shut several times, and then, silence.

"So, can I ride your horse?" the boy asked.

"Sure!" Andy said. He set the boy on top of the horse and then climbed onto the horse himself.


"By the way," Andy said, "what's your name?"

"My name is Mikey!" the boy said.

"Alright then!" Andy said. "Let's go!"

The horse rode off with Andy and Mikey.

---

Meanwhile, Faye continued to wander around the town, looking for anyone suspicious.

"I have to find that murderer and get that f-f-f-f-f-forty million wu-wu-wu-wulongs!" Faye said happily. Suddenly, she heard a scream off in the distance. The scream appeared to be coming from one of the houses close to Faye.

"Help!" yelled a woman's voice. "The murderer!"

Faye ran into the house and held her gun out in front of her.

"Where's the murderer?" Faye said, looking around. "Where?"

"Ha ha, fooled you!" yelled a woman from around the room. She pointed and laughed at Faye.

"The murderer isn't here?" Faye asked.

"Nope!" the woman said. "I tricked you! Pretty funny, huh?"

"Have you ever heard about the boy who cried wolf?" Faye asked.

"Yeah, and it's really sad," the woman said. "There was this boy, and he got eaten by a wolf, and-"

"Why did you do that?" Faye asked. "It really wasn't very nice. And furthermore-"

"Aaaaah!" the woman screamed. Faye jumped about a foot in the air.


"What is it?" Faye asked.

The woman began to laugh again.


"Gotcha!" the woman laughed. "Heehee! Heehee!"

"Darn it, stop that!" Faye yelled. Suddenly, the murderer leaped through the window and tackled the woman.

"Aaaah!" the woman shrieked. "Help me!"

"Nope," Faye said, looking the other way. "Not gonna help."

"But I'm telling the truth this time!" the woman yelled. "Please help me!"


The murderer raised his knife above the woman.

"The murderer's here!" the woman screamed.

"Nope," Faye said. "Not gonna-"


A gunshot rang out. The murderer dropped the knife and rolled off of the woman, clutching his hand. Andy's horse crashed through the window, and Mikey and Andy hopped off.


"Wow, that was cool!" Mikey said. "Can you do it again?"

Faye turned around.

"Andy, what are you doing?" Faye asked. Andy helped the woman that the murderer had attacked off of the ground.

"You okay?" Andy asked.

"I am… thanks to you," the woman said. She looked lovingly into Andy's eyes. Meanwhile, the murderer had grabbed his knife with his other hand.

"Andy, look out!" Faye yelled. Andy turned around just in time to see the murderer stabbing at him. Andy leaped out of the way.

"Bwahaha!" the murderer laughed. "Stabby stabby stabby!"

Faye shot at the murderer several times. The murderer rolled out of the way.

"Hey, you mean murderer!" Mikey yelled. "You killed my mommy and daddy!"

"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" the studio audience said.

"I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!" Andy yelled.

"Bwahaha!" the murderer laughed. "I murder a lot of people!"

"Well, it's not very nice!" Mikey yelled.

Faye pointed her gun at the murderer.


"You killed that kid's parents?" Faye asked. "What a jerk!"

"Faye, wait!" Andy yelled. "If you kill him, you won't get the forty million wulongs…"

"F-f-f-f-f-f-fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-forty mi-mi-mi…" Faye stammered. The murderer ran behind the stammering Faye and held his knife to her neck.


"Bwahaha!" the murderer laughed. "Bwahahahaha!"

"Hey, this is kind of like last time," Andy said. "With the bad guy, and the Faye-hostage taking, and the bounty, and the saving…"

"Mr. Cowboy, you gotta do something!" Mikey said.

"Wu-wu-wu-wulongs…" Faye stammered, oblivious to the murderer.

"Help me!" the liar woman from earlier yelled from across the room.

"Wha?" the murderer said, startled by the woman. Suddenly, Faye bit the murderer on the hand. The murderer dropped the knife.

"Argh!" the murderer yelled, holding his hand. "That-"

Faye kicked the murderer in the crotch. The murderer doubled over and collapsed to the ground in pain. Faye took out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man.


"Yay!" Faye squealed, doing a victory dance. "Forty million wulongs! F-f-f-f-f-f-fo-fo-fo-fo…"

"Mommy!" Mikey yelled, running into the liar woman's arms.

"Huh?" Andy said. "Wait, you said your mom AND dad were murdered!"

"Nope!" Mikey said. "I lied! My dad's sleeping in his room, and my mom's here!"


Mikey and his mom started laughing.

"A whole family of liars…" Andy groaned. "But I guess that wraps up the plot rather nicely."

Andy turned to Faye.

"Come on," Andy said, gesturing to Faye. "Let's go."

Andy put Faye and the murderer onto his horse, then climbed onto the horse and rode off into the sunset.

---

Back aboard the Bebop…

"So you caught the murderer?" Jet said. "What did you spend the money on?"

"That's the funny thing," Andy said. "When we were riding off into the sunset, the murderer fell off of the horse and into the river."

"Waaaaah!" Faye wailed from the other room. "We lost f-f-f-f-f-f-fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-forty mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mil-mil-mil-million wu-wu-wu-wu-wulongs!"

"Tough luck," Jet said. "I stayed home watching Bar- er, porn. I found a 25-wulong coin in the couch! I made more money than you!"

"Yeah, but we met a family of liars," Andy said. "So nyah."

See you, space cowboy…

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Andy: Next episode, we stop recycling jokes and start advancing the plot!

Faye: This fanfic has a plot? Coulda fooled me.

Applederry: Next episode, Jet starts to be phased out and I get phased in!

Jet: I'm being phased out?

Faye: Watch as we help Applederry catch a band of jewel thieves!

Applederry: I don't need help from you guys! Heck, I beat the crap out of Spike. So there!

Andy: I think I'm beginning to like this guy.

Faye: He beat up Spike? Grrr…

Applederry: Next episode of Bebop, "Applederry Comes Egging In"!

Faye: Where's Edward?

Applederry: Who?