A few reviews!
The Review Guy: Welp, no one knew who the terrorists were, so they didn't have a bounty on them yet. The Mario statue reference is from SimCity. I loved that game!
Katie: That's okay, Ed's hair is red isn't it? A very light red though… I honestly thought it was pink! And Applederry's a perv! Well, kinda…. Hee hee!
NessacusGirl: Yay! Go Ed's mommie! Man, I'm really building up to her coming back, aren't I? ^_^ It'll be great when she finally does! And Faye is all better now, poor Faye-Faye!
FantasyCat: GO GABBY! Hee hee!
Raigeki Leviathan: Nah, that was when Faye was born. She was frozen in 2010-something. I think.
Blooknaberg: Yeah, poor Faye-Faye… but at least Kikome had a good day! Hmmm… Andy/Faye or Andy/Kikome… hmmm….
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Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or any of the characters. Marijuana is bad. Hippies are worse. ^_^ Well, not really.
Warning: For the purpose of comedy, most of the characters are OOC. Just warning you now.
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BIGGERSHOT- The NEW Show For Bounty Hunters
The NEW Paunch: Hey Judy, know what I'm smoking?
Crazy Judy: *gasps* You're smoking pot!
The NEW Paunch: That's right! *takes a puff* Man, that's good stuff!
Crazy Judy: That's illegal!
The NEW Paunch: So is killing Old Paunch and attacking me every show!
Crazy Judy: Oh yeah…
The NEW Paunch: Today's bountyheads smoke a lot more weed than I do!
*Two pictures pop up on the screen.*
The NEW Paunch: Mary Jane Bogart is the most prolific pot dealer on Mars! She's sold billions and billions of wulongs worth of pot! And hippie guru Nicholas Barrington is her biggest customer!
Crazy Judy: There's a 3 million wulong bounty on them with a 4 million wulong bounty for catching them both!
The NEW Paunch: That means that you get 10 million wulongs for bringing them both in!
Crazy Judy: Speaking of Bogart, stop Bogarting that joint! *lunges at the NEW Paunch*
"Guess where we're going," Faye said.
"We're going to Pizza Hut! I'm really hungry!" Andy said.
"Yeah, I want a pizza," Applederry said. "And Ed's getting really restless. Think she needs a friend?"
"I'm Ed's friend," Faye said. "Isn't that right, Edward?"
"Faye-Faye is Ed's best friend, uh-huh!" Edward said. "Ed wants to catch the bounty with Faye-Faye, yep yep!"
"Fine," Andy said. "I'll starve. Because I'm nice!"
Andy began to cry.
---
Session 46: Cool Awesome Radical Tubular Reggae
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The Bebop landed in the middle of a large field. The field was lined with hundreds of strawberry trees.
"This strawberry field seems to go on forever," Andy said. "And I'm hungry!"
Andy ran up to one of the trees and began gobbling up strawberries.
"Uh, Andy," Faye said, pointing at the trees. "You sure this is safe?'
Andy ignored Faye and continued eating strawberries.
"Well, I'm full," Andy said, backing away from one of the trees. "Man, that was a good meal. Oh maaaaaaaaaaaan."
Andy began stumbling around.
"Uh oh," Faye said. "Those strawberries are filled with weed!"
"Hee hee, Andy's high! Hi Andy!" Edward giggled, waving at Andy. "Hi! High! Hi!"
"We'll go after Mary Jane Bogart. You two can catch the hippie," Applederry said.
"But I want to catch the drug dealer!" Faye whined. "Oh well, it's not like she's worth more anyway. C'mon, Edward. Let's try to find that hippie."
"Okay," Edward said. "Bye father-person! Bye high Andy-person!"
Faye and Edward ran off.
"I'm hungry too," Applederry said. "But I don't want to get high… aw, what the heck."
Applederry plucked several strawberries off of the trees and ate them. Almost immediately, the powerful drug began to take effect.
"Man, what am I smoking?" Applederry asked. "Oh yeah. Pot."
Andy began to laugh.
"Hey man, let's go protest against The Man," Andy said.
"What about the bounty?" Applederry asked.
"What's a bounty?" Andy replied. "Dude, you sound like my mom."
"Dude, you suck, dude," Applederry said.
---
Meanwhile, in a deserted crackhouse on the outskirts of the Martian city of Crackton, Mary Jane Bogart was dispensing weed to hundreds of angry protesters.
"Man, I need a joint!" yelled one of the protesters. "Give me a joint!"
"1,000 wulongs," Mary Jane said.
"I'll take it! I'll take it! Give me a joint!" the protester shouted. He grabbed the joint. "Oh no, I have to light it!"
The protester grabbed a gas can and dumped the contents all over himself. He then lit a match and set himself on fire, and then lit the joint with himself.
"Uh, you could have just used the match," Mary Jane said.
"Shut up! I need a joint!" the burning protester yelled, running out of the crackhouse. Just then, an old-looking man with long hair pushed his way through the crowd and approached Mary Jane.
"Ah, Nick, my biggest customer," Mary Jane said. "How much weed would you like today?"
"Just five, man. I like to moderate, you know. Peace and love, dude!" Nick said.
"Very good, sir," Mary Jane said, handing the hippie guru five joints. "So, where are you gonna be?"
"I'm just gonna hang out in my hippie tent," Nick said. "Outside the city and all the commotion, man. I heard the protest was gonna turn violent, man."
"You do that," Mary Jane said. "I'm going to be selling weed there."
"See ya later," Nick said, turning to leave. "Peace!"
---
Meanwhile, Faye and Edward had just reached the top of a large hill overlooking the large city where the protest was just about to begin. Faye peered over the hill.
"Nothing much to report," Faye said, taking out her gun. "Wait a second…"
A large ball of fire swelled up in the city. Then, another ball of fire. Faye could see a large crowd making its way through the city.
"Uh oh, it looks like a violent protest," Faye said.
"But I thought marijuana smokers liked peace and love!" Edward said.
"Not these smokers. They like violence and uh… not love. Edward, I want you to stay here," Faye said. "It could be dangerous."
"But you're Edward's friend, Faye-Faye!" Edward said. "Ed wants to go!"
"Look, go in that tent," Faye said, pointing at a large tent that was next to them. "Go in there and take a nap. I'm going down to the city."
Faye ran down the hill. Edward turned toward the tent.
"Faye-Faye's having a meanie day," Edward said. "She didn't have to treat Edward like that! Ed can take care of herself."
Edward sighed.
"Guess I'd better do what Faye-Faye said," Edward sighed. She walked into the tent.
---
Meanwhile, downtown, the crowd of protesters had run into a police barricade.
"C'mon, fellow weed smokers!" Mary Jane shouted. "Tear it down! They outlawed your weed! Tear it down!"
Several police cars rode up to the crowd. Police climbed out of the cars and began shooting the protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets. Mary Jane quickly rolled under the barricade and ran off, leaving the protesters to face the wrath of the police.
"The man's beating us down!" yelled one of the protesters. "We're doomed!"
"Go Go Cactus Man" began to play. Andy and Applederry rode up to the crowd on Onyx.
"Fear not! We shall spread the ideals of peace and love to the masses!" Andy shouted.
"That's right!" Applederry said. He charged through the tear gas and rubber bullet barrage and began knocking out cops right and left with his fists.
"He's a human monster!" yelled one of the cops. "Let's get out of here!"
The police cars drove off.
"Free weed forever!" Andy shouted, making a peace sign.
"Radical!" Applederry shouted.
"Radical! Groovy!" chanted the crowd.
---
Meanwhile, inside the tent…
"There's smoke in here…" Edward said, coughing. "Edward can't breathe! The tent must be on fire!"
Edward fell to the floor.
"Wait a second…" Edward said, sniffing the air. "This smoke smells kind of good…"
Edward stood up.
"Ugh, now Edward feels dizzy," Edward said. She stumbled around, until she fell into the arms of a long-haired man. It was Nicholas Barrington, the same man who had bought the weed from Mary Jane earlier.
"Hey, man, girls shouldn't be in here," Nick said. "How'd you get in?"
"Edward was sent in here by Faye-Faye!" Edward said. "Who are you, and why is it so smoky in here?"
"Uh…. peace!" Nick said, trying to conceal the fact that he had been smoking weed.
"Wait," Edward said. "You're one of the guys on TV! You have a big bounty on your head! You're the weed-smoking man! Bad man! Bad bad man!"
"I have a bounty for smoking weed?" Nick asked. "Man's laws are for men. I am of the jungle!"
Edward giggled.
"Edward is from the jungle too!" Edward said.
"Do you smoke weed too?" Nick asked. "What's your name?"
"My name is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivuruski the 4th, and Edward does not smoke weed! Weed's bad for you! My dad told me!"
"Your dad is The Man," Nick said.
"Father-person is cool, but Andy-person is the man!" Edward said.
"No, I meant The Man," Nick said. "The man who's trying to keep us from smoking weed!"
"But smoking weed is bad," Edward said. "Actually, Edward thinks people should do what they want as long as they don't hurt anyone! You've never hurt anyone, have you?"
"No!" Nick said.
"Then you can do whatever you want according to Edward!" Edward said. "Edward won't tell anyone you're here, okay? You'd better run or bounty hunters will catch you!"
"Are bounty hunters after Mary Jane too?" Nick asked.
"Yep, she was on TV too!" Edward said.
"Then let's go warn her too, okay?" Nick asked. "Let's go to the city and defend the ideals of peace and love!"
"Alright!" Edward said. "Let's go!"
Edward and Nick ran out of the tent and down the hill toward Crackton.
---
Meanwhile, Faye was hunting all over downtown for the two bountyheads.
"I don't like being alone like this," Faye said. "I could be kidnapped or something!"
Just then, the large crowd of protesters led by Andy and Applederry approached Faye.
"What the heck?" Faye asked. "Are you guys undercover or something?"
"Man, you need to experience things," Andy said. "Like being on weed!"
"That was good, dude," Applederry said. "Faye, there's something on your shirt."
"I know! I know!" Andy said, raising his hand. "Boobs!"
Andy and Applederry laughed and exchanged a high-five. Faye growled.
"Both of you are high," Faye said. "Great, just great. I'm catching Mary Jane all by myself!"
"Man, you can't catch Mary Jane," Andy said. "She's like the queen or something. God save the queen!'
"You're The Man," Applederry said. "You're just like The Man!"
Faye stormed off in an angry rage.
---
Edward and Nick walked up to a small building.
"This is where Mary Jane goes when the heat's on," Nick said. "She's probably in here."
"Edward thought you said she was with the protesters," Edward said.
"She's not with the protesters. Hippie gurus know all, man!" Nick said. "All the secrets of peace and love!"
Edward and Nick walked inside. Mary Jane immediately confronted them.
"Nick, who's the kid?" Mary Jane asked.
"The kid's name is Edward," Nick said. "She's my new hippie Padawan!"
"Yep, yep!" Edward said. "Peace! And love! Hippie-person is Edward's cool new friend!"
"Whatever," Mary Jane said. "What are you here for?"
"You've got a bounty on your head. So do I. We have to leave, man!" Nick yelled.
"We? My weed is here, my money is here… I can't leave," Mary Jane said.
"But we're a team! Peace and love, man!" Nick said.
Suddenly, Faye burst into the room. She pointed her gun at Mary Jane's head.
"Freeze!" Faye shouted. "I've got you! And the other bountyhead! I'm gonna be rich!"
Mary Jane turned to Faye.
"So, the first bounty hunter's here," Mary Jane said. "Looks like I'm caught."
"Looks like you're right!" Faye said.
"Faye-Faye, no!" Edward shouted. "The hippies are Edward's friends!"
"What?" Faye said. "Edward, I told you to go into the tent!"
"Edward did. And then Edward met hippie-person!" Edward replied, pointing to Nick.
"Peace, man!" Nick said.
"Enough of this," Mary Jane said. She had snuck up behind Faye. She grabbed Faye from behind and grabbed her gun, then pointed it at Faye's head. "I've got you!"
"No, girl hippie-person!" Edward shouted. "Faye-Faye is Edward's friend too!"
"Faye-Faye is girl hippie-person's hostage now," Mary Jane said. "Bye!"
Mary Jane dragged Faye out the door and ran off with her.
"That's not cool, man," Nick said. "What about peace and love?"
"Edward's friend hippie-person, we have to stop bad hippie-person and save Faye-Faye!" Edward said.
"Alright! Let's uphold the ideals of-"
"Peace and love?" Edward said.
"Yeah!" Nick said. "Let's go!"
Edward and Nick ran out of the building and followed after Mary Jane.
---
In Mary Jane's crackhouse…
"This always happens to me," Faye sighed to herself. She was tied to a chair.
"If you weren't so greedy about catching bountyheads, you wouldn't always be in these situations," Mary Jane said.
"Stop accentuating my character flaws!" Faye yelled. Just then, Nick and Edward burst into the crackhouse.
"Alright, we're going to do a nonviolent protest until you let Faye go! Isn't that right, Edward?" Nick said.
"That's right! We're not moving from this spot until you release Faye-Faye!" Edward yelled.
"Alright, alright, fine, you win," Mary Jane said, untying Faye. "I hate nonviolent protests! I'm out of here!"
Mary Jane ran out of the crackhouse.
"Wow, that was easy," Faye said. "It almost seemed a little too easy…"
---
Outside the crackhouse…
"Whew, I'm glad to get out of there," Mary Jane said. "Those nonviolent protests can go on for days!"
Mary Jane turned around and was immediately faced with a large crowd of violent protesters.
"Now you guys are my kinda protesters," Mary Jane said. "The violent kind!"
"Mary Jane, you're under arrest," Andy said, handcuffing the marijuana dealer.
"What?" Mary Jane yelled.
"We only pretended to get high off those strawberries," Applederry said. "We rock!"
"And you're going to jail," Andy said.
"Fellow weed smokers, help me!" Mary Jane yelled to the other protesters.
"They're too high on weed to notice!" Andy said. "See, that's what weed does."
"It also gets you pregnant and funds terrorism!" Applederry said. "At least that's what TV says."
"TV is wrong," Andy said. "But it's still illegal, and as a cowboy, it's my job to uphold the law!"
Faye, Edward, and Nick stepped outside.
"Wow, you got her, Andy," Faye said. "But how-"
"We were pretending to be high," Andy said.
"You guys suck," Faye said. "Now we can arrest the other hippie!"
"No, not hippie-person!" Edward shouted, stepping in front of Nick protectively.
"Peace and love, baby!" Nick said. He raised a joint to his lips and puffed, causing him to disappear in a cloud of smoke.
"Where did he go?" Faye asked.
"Will Edward ever see him again?" Edward said.
"No," Andy said. "But we'll miss him!"
"Well, you'll miss him, anyway," Applederry said. "None of us ever even got to know him."
---
Back aboard the Bebop…
"Edward still misses hippie-person," Edward said. "But Faye-Faye's still here!"
"Yeah," Faye said. "Thanks for helping me out back there, Edward!"
"That's what friends are for!" Edward said. "Yep!"
"Hey, where's all the smoke coming from?" Andy asked.
"I know," Faye said. "It smells like… weed!"
"Hippie-person!" Edward yelled. She ran into the next room and saw Applederry lighting up a joint. "Father-person?"
"Uh oh, spaghetti-o's!" Applederry yelled.
"That's not funny," Edward said.
See you, stoned cowboy…
---
Applederry: Duuuuuuuuuude….
Faye: Stop that. You're starring in the next episode.
Applederry: Oh yeah! In the next episode, I enter the Solar System Kickboxing Championships and try to win for the 18th straight time!
Edward: Go father-person!
Faye: Ed, he loves his trophies more than you…
Andy: Also, I'll be entering! And I'll win, because I'm Cowboy Andy!
Jet: I'll win, because I'm a cop!
Gabby: Go Jet!
Applederry: So many contenders, but I'll beat them all! Next episode, "Kicka Kung-Fu Fighting!"
Edward: Edward is fast as lightning!
Applederry: Can you even enter?