Part Two
Angel hastily answered the phone in his office so that the
ringing would stop because he had a pounding headache from all
the drinking he had done the previous night. "Who is it?" "Hey
Angel this is Faith, I have terrible, revolting, stomach
turning and mind boggling news for you" "Go on and hurry up I
have to go and meet Cordelia in half an hour at the mall" "It's
daylight" "So?" "Let me guess your human now" "Yeah you were
saying stomach turning news" "Buffy and Riley are getting
married!" "Good for them, wait isn't he that moron who can't
fight, said he lost his virginity to a cow and smells just
fucking awful?" "Yep that's the one, well they've been engaged
for the last six months now and well we can't stand it any
longer, Giles won't let Buffy see him when Riley is with her,
Willow and Spike keep doing this spell to try and make his
stench go away, me and Shannon have beat the crap out of him on
several occasions and well we're really sick of him" "I thought
she hated him when she met him?" "She did but apparently
they're madly in love" "I better ring Cordelia, Doyle and
Joshua, he can ring Becca" "Who?" "Just some friends, the last
two have mind powers you can't even imagine, Becca said that
she met Riley once in the mall in La two years back and
apparently he was on a date with a cow called Bessie" "He was
dating Buffy two years back, why am I not surprised" "Because
he's revolting and backwards?" "Yeah so you guys will come to
the Dale?" "Yeah when's the wedding?" "Three days time, we're
trying to find a spell to see if he's used magic on her then we
have to find a reversal spell, we just don't have enough time
and I have to wear a dress which is designed to look like a
cow!" "We better hurry, see you soon Faith, who's Shannon?" "My
girlfriend, I met her at Xander, Anya, Tara, Joyce and Dawn's
funeral, I have to say that was the best funeral I had been to,
it was so fun and when the caskets got lowered into the ground
everybody was cheering, we all hated those five but luckily
Glory killed Joyce and the other three while Buffy was more
than happy to sacrifice Dawn who was supposed to be her sister
but we all knew better" "Right well I'll see you soon" Angel
slammed the phone down and hurried to get his friends.
****************************** Angel what are you talking about, why are we going to Sunnydale?" "Because I need to stop the biggest disaster ever" "Which is what?" "Buffy and Riley's wedding" "Why don't you just let them be happy?" "Because the man is a freak, Becca do you sense anything yet?" "I'm having a problem detecting any magic being used because there is a vile stench coming from Sunnydale" "That would be Riley, J?" "Yep there is some strong magic coming off this place" Becca, Josh and Cordy were in the back of the car on their way to Sunnydale with Doyle in the front with Angel. "Can you sense anything specific?" "Yeah Riley really has done the whammy on your girl Buffy" "What exactly?" "It's a spell to make him look to her like her soul mate and to make him look more attractive than you and Ryan Philippe put together" "Christ man that's impossible, I mean you put him and Ryan Philippe together and well you get an eyesore or what Delia would say major heartthrob" "You know I resent that but he's right" "I strangely have to agree on this one, I mean you've seen cruel intentions" "Yeah Becca forced me to watch it just to stare at Ryan Philippe" "Cordy made me and Doyle watch it to see the cuteness of him as she said and that girl's bitchiness" "That was Sarah Michelle Gellar, she is a great actress" "Cordy anybody can play a bitch or naturally be one, take yourself for example" "Angel! Shut up right now or I swear you'll wish you were never born" "See" they pulled up to the mansion thanking God their awful road trip was over. "Right so Josh can this spell be reversed?" "Yeah easily but not until the actual day of the wedding, you see you have to wait until the priest says you know that whole objecting crap and then now that I know the spell I just say it backwards and it will reveal his true form" "So fish boy in all his ugliness" "Angel I still don't see why you can't just let them be" "Because their making everybody in Sunnydale sick, I am not here to take her back even though I could because I'm everything she wants and needs, I just don't want to be getting phone calls about how disgusting Riley is for the next decade or so" "You know princess he's right, who fancies a coffee, Irish style?" "Me, Becca, J?" "Yeah we're in, Cord?" "Yeah but I think I'll skip on the Irish part".
****************************** "Willow look at this dress it's beautiful!" Buffy dragged a very reluctant Willow over to dress shop to look at the hideous dress she had found. "It's perfect" "Buffy it's fucking awful!" "It's perfect and Riley would love it, did I not tell you to not swear when your with me, I swear Spike is just the worst guy you have ever been with" "Look who's talking, at least my boyfriend knows the term deodorant and bath, Christ the man smells like he's been living in a fish market" "Whatever, what do you think?" "True opinion, it should have never been made, I mean you buy that and well it will wreck your image as having fashion sense, the arms are awful they like cover all of your skin, I like the colour but you should go for something smaller" "I just have to buy it!" the dress was not actually that bad, if it had of been smaller and shorter sleeves with a little more skin exposure but Buffy liked it because of it's largeness and well the fact she was marrying Riley was just plain confusing. "Do you like the colour?" "Yeah I think violet is great Buffy it's just the dress itself" "Well I've bought it now, come on we have to go shopping for lingerie" "Just three more days and I will never have to see Captain stink a lot ever again".
****************************** Angel what are you talking about, why are we going to Sunnydale?" "Because I need to stop the biggest disaster ever" "Which is what?" "Buffy and Riley's wedding" "Why don't you just let them be happy?" "Because the man is a freak, Becca do you sense anything yet?" "I'm having a problem detecting any magic being used because there is a vile stench coming from Sunnydale" "That would be Riley, J?" "Yep there is some strong magic coming off this place" Becca, Josh and Cordy were in the back of the car on their way to Sunnydale with Doyle in the front with Angel. "Can you sense anything specific?" "Yeah Riley really has done the whammy on your girl Buffy" "What exactly?" "It's a spell to make him look to her like her soul mate and to make him look more attractive than you and Ryan Philippe put together" "Christ man that's impossible, I mean you put him and Ryan Philippe together and well you get an eyesore or what Delia would say major heartthrob" "You know I resent that but he's right" "I strangely have to agree on this one, I mean you've seen cruel intentions" "Yeah Becca forced me to watch it just to stare at Ryan Philippe" "Cordy made me and Doyle watch it to see the cuteness of him as she said and that girl's bitchiness" "That was Sarah Michelle Gellar, she is a great actress" "Cordy anybody can play a bitch or naturally be one, take yourself for example" "Angel! Shut up right now or I swear you'll wish you were never born" "See" they pulled up to the mansion thanking God their awful road trip was over. "Right so Josh can this spell be reversed?" "Yeah easily but not until the actual day of the wedding, you see you have to wait until the priest says you know that whole objecting crap and then now that I know the spell I just say it backwards and it will reveal his true form" "So fish boy in all his ugliness" "Angel I still don't see why you can't just let them be" "Because their making everybody in Sunnydale sick, I am not here to take her back even though I could because I'm everything she wants and needs, I just don't want to be getting phone calls about how disgusting Riley is for the next decade or so" "You know princess he's right, who fancies a coffee, Irish style?" "Me, Becca, J?" "Yeah we're in, Cord?" "Yeah but I think I'll skip on the Irish part".
****************************** "Willow look at this dress it's beautiful!" Buffy dragged a very reluctant Willow over to dress shop to look at the hideous dress she had found. "It's perfect" "Buffy it's fucking awful!" "It's perfect and Riley would love it, did I not tell you to not swear when your with me, I swear Spike is just the worst guy you have ever been with" "Look who's talking, at least my boyfriend knows the term deodorant and bath, Christ the man smells like he's been living in a fish market" "Whatever, what do you think?" "True opinion, it should have never been made, I mean you buy that and well it will wreck your image as having fashion sense, the arms are awful they like cover all of your skin, I like the colour but you should go for something smaller" "I just have to buy it!" the dress was not actually that bad, if it had of been smaller and shorter sleeves with a little more skin exposure but Buffy liked it because of it's largeness and well the fact she was marrying Riley was just plain confusing. "Do you like the colour?" "Yeah I think violet is great Buffy it's just the dress itself" "Well I've bought it now, come on we have to go shopping for lingerie" "Just three more days and I will never have to see Captain stink a lot ever again".