A few reviews! No new reviewers though, only a loyal three!

NessacusGirl: Yeah, Andy and Catherine are great! Kinda like Spike and Julia! But Spike/Faye rules, hee hee! Ewww, Andy/Leroy? Icky! ^_^ And yep, Spike and Vicious return! Yay!

The Review Guy: Nope, never seen Bogus Journey… heard of it though. Is it really like this chapter?

Katie: Yeah! Joe Millionaire's Survivor Boot Camp Idol! The ultimate reality show! Aw, sorry to make you laugh so hard! I guess you enjoyed my chapper though! And I'm glad you liked the Green Bird parody! That song is super cool! And I don't think that streaker was real! Probably not, anyway! Welp, thanks for reviewing!

Trunkz: Sorry bout your computer probs! Thanks for reviewing!

IluvRikku12: This chapter will be good, trust me!

---

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or any of the characters. I also don't own Satan. Wait, the Bible is public domain. I don't have to put a disclaimer if I use him! And that means I can kill him off, too!

Warning: For the purpose of comedy, most of the characters are OOC. Just warning you now.

---

Andy, Faye, and Edward were inside a large library on Mars.

"Why are we here again, anyway?" Faye asked.

"We have to further Edward's education!" Andy said. "Now that we're her legal guardians, it's our responsibility to-"

"Can you be her legal guardian?" Faye asked. "My butt hurts."

Edward sat down at a table with a large stack of books. She began reading them.


"This book has pretty pictures of cows!" Edward said. "Oooh! This book is really big…"


"That's War and Peace, Edward," Andy said. "That book's a little too advanced for you…"


"And WAY too advanced for you, Andy," Faye said.

"Nonsense! I can read it!" Andy declared. He ran over to the table and grabbed the War and Peace book. "Let's see here… crap. Faye, what's this word?"

Faye looked at the book.

"That word is-"

"Wait, don't help me," Andy said. "I can say it!"


"Can Edward have her book back now?" Edward asked. Her eyes moved to another book on the table. "Never mind!"


Edward picked up the book, a large, black folio with a skull on the front.

"Oooh, scary Larry," Edward said. "Necromis' Guide To Ancient Evil Spells and Incantations. Neato!"

"Edward, that book is a bunch of crap, written by a guy who is also a bunch of crap," Faye said. "That book smells of crap."

"Oooh, these words are funny," Edward said. "Incendio Infernius Burnius Vitrious. Edward can barely pronounce them! But they're funny!"

"See, nothing happened," Faye said.


"Don't discourage her," Andy said. "Our Edward's gonna be a powerful sorceress!"


Suddenly, a huge red circle of light appeared on the ground next to Edward. Flames poured forth from the circle.

"Wow," Edward said. "Pretty…"


"Aaah!" Faye screamed. "Edward, get away from there!"

"What is it?" Andy asked. He approached the circle. "Well-"

The circle enlarged, sucking Andy in. He screamed all the way down.

"Andy!" Edward screamed. "Cowboy-person Andy!"

She stood on the circle.

"What are you doing?" Faye yelled.

"We have to save Andy-person!" Edward said. "Faye-Faye, come with Edward!"


Edward was sucked into the circle. Faye sighed.

"I have no power, I swear," Faye said. "Everybody pushes me around!"


Faye stood on the circle. It sucked Faye in, then disappeared.

---

Session 51: Dude, We're Going To Hell! (Part 1)

---

Andy landed in the middle of a huge arena, surrounded by a crowd filled with demons.


"Where am I?" Andy asked. "Is this the Super Bowl?"

"Mwahaha!" yelled a voice from one of the arena's luxury boxes. Andy looked up to see a man wearing a toga and holding a fiddle.

"Who are you?" Andy asked. "And where am I?"

"My name is Nero!" the man yelled. "Welcome to Hell!"


"Wha?" Andy stammered. "This can't be… oh poopy!"

The gates of the arena opened. Ten lions came out of the gates and menacingly walked toward Andy.

"Lions?" Andy asked. "Ha! Pathetic! You've gotta do better than that to beat me!"

"Okay," Nero said. He snapped his fingers, and the lions turned into whiny 60s protesters.

"Hell no, we won't go! The government sucks!" chanted the protesters.

"Yaaaaaaaaah!" Andy screamed in horror. He ran out of the arena as fast as he could and dashed screaming into a large puddle of flaming water. A large red dragon leaped out of the puddle.

"Bwahaha!" the dragon laughed. "I am the dragon of the flaming puddle of water!"

"So?" Andy asked. "Pathetic!"

The dragon polymorphed into… a naked man.

"Aaah! A naked man!" Andy screamed. "I've gotta find a way out of here! Or at least an information kiosk!"

Andy dashed away from the naked man as fast as he could.

---

Meanwhile, Faye had landed in front of a large, white building that looked suspiciously like the White House. A sign posted on the building read "HOUSE OF BAD PRESIDENTS".

"Bad presidents?" Faye asked. "This must be Hell! Or Bizarro Washington D.C…."


Faye walked into the House of Bad Presidents and found herself inside the main lobby, a large torture chamber. Richard Nixon was strapped inside one of the torture devices.

"Help me!" Nixon yelled. "I'm not a crook!"

"Sure you're not," Faye said. "I know what you did. You lied and cheated and stole. And I'm not going to help you."

"Fine, don't help me!" Nixon said. "But I'll still have everything that's been given to me! And I'll still have an adorable little puppy named Checkers!"

Nixon began to cry.

"No, I won't have Checkers…" Nixon sobbed. "All dogs go to heaven!"

"Yep, they do," Faye said. "Idiot."

Faye wandered through the rooms of the White House, until she reached a room that looked a lot like a lethal injection room. George Bush Sr. and George W. Bush were strapped to execution gurneys.

"This oughta be good," Faye said. A fat man wearing a cowboy hat danced up to the two Bushes.

"Yeehaw!" the man yelled. "I'm from Texas, and I'm going to execute you guys! With disco!"


Disco music began playing in the room. The man took off his clothes and began dancing. The two Bushes screamed in horror. Faye covered her ears.

"This really is Hell!" Faye shouted. "I gotta get out of here!"


Faye dashed through the halls of the White House until she reached a large, wooden door. She dashed through the door and immediately found herself inside a large room filled with hundreds of books.


"Am I back in the library?" Faye asked.

"You're in the Official Hell Registry," said a voice from behind Faye. Faye turned around to see a winged demon woman, wearing glasses and a dress.

"Oh, hello," Faye said. "Would you know how to get out of here?"

"No," the demon librarian said. "This contains the names and rooms of everyone in Hell."

"Really?" Faye asked. "Hmmm… could you look up a name for me?"

"Sure," the demon librarian said. "If you give me your soul! Mwahahaha!"

"Can I just give you my bra instead?" Faye asked. "It's encrusted with diamonds."

"I do need a new bra," the librarian said, pointing to her sagging breasts. "Alright, fine."


Faye reached into her yellow vest, took off her bra, and handed it to the demon librarian.

"Alright," Faye said. "Look up the name… Spike Spiegal."

---

Edward found herself inside a large room filled with cages. A sign on the wall read "DICTATOR DOG POUND". The cages were filled with evil dictators from all time periods.

"Oooh," Edward said. "A dog pound? But there are humans in here!"

Edward gasped.

"Oh no, Edward is in heck! This isn't good…" Edward said.

"Hey, kid!" yelled a voice from one of the cages. Edward turned toward the cage to see the evil German dictator, Adolf Hitler, staring at her.


"Oooh, are you a bad man?" Edward asked.

"Uh, no! I'm not a bad man!" Hitler said. "I got in here by mistake! Could you please open this cage?"

Edward walked up to the cage.

"Open up you?" Edward asked. "Ooh la la…"

"Please?" Hitler begged.

Edward leaned in toward the cage… and began chomping on Hitler's ear. Hitler screamed as Edward's sharp teeth tugged at his ear and wouldn't let go.


"Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaaaaaah!" Hitler shrieked.

Edward let go of Hitler's ear.

"You're a bad man!" Edward yelled. "Edward is going to find Andy-person and Faye-Faye! Hmph!"


Edward angrily stomped out of the dog pound.

---

Meanwhile, Andy continued to venture around Hell, looking for an exit. Just then, he happened on two people who were standing near a lamp post. It was Matt Hardy IV and Rick, Jet and Gabby's nemesis.

"And I got killed twice," Rick said. "Can you believe it?"

"Maybe if you had a few more of my Mattributes, and just a little bit more Mattitude, you wouldn't have suffered such an unfortunate Twist of Fate!" Matt Hardy IV quipped. Andy walked up to them.

"Hey, guys," Andy said. "You know a way out of here?"

"No," Matt Hardy IV said. "I've been sentenced to an eternity of pain and suffering."

"Me too!" Rick said. "Hey, I recognize you! You're that jerk who interfered when I tried to beat up Jet! I'm gonna kill you!"

"He'll do it, too. He's got a lot of Mattitude!" Matt Hardy IV said. "He's my little MFer!"

"Excuse me?" Andy asked.

"Mattitude Follower! MFer! Get it?" Matt Hardy IV asked.

"I guess so," Andy said. A demon walked up to Rick.


"Okay, time for your ten o'clock torture," the demon said.

"My watch says 9:59!" Rick yelled.

"Your watch sucks," the demon said. He began to drag Rick away.

"Wait!" Andy said. "Do you know a way out of here?"

"You're not supposed to be here, are you?" the demon asked. "You don't look like a bad guy. Well, I don't know the way out, actually. You'll have to ask the boss about that."

Andy gasped.


"You don't mean…" Andy stammered.

"Yep," the demon said. "Satan knows the way out of here… I think. Anyway, I've got work to do."

The demon started to leave again. Andy stopped him.

"Wait!" Andy shouted. "How do we get to Satan?"

"Follow the fire brick road," the demon said.

"Follow the fire brick road?" Andy asked.

Hundreds of demons leaped out of the flames and began singing.


"Follow the fire brick road! Follow the fire brick road! Follow the-" the demons chanted.

"I don't have time for this," Andy said.


"Fine," the demon said. He snapped his fingers, causing all the other demons to disappear. "I never get to sing…"

The demon walked off, dragging Rick away.

"Alright," Andy said, turning to Matt Hardy IV. "Wanna come with me?"

"Okay," Hardy IV said. "You look like you have lots of Mattitude!"


"Great!" Andy said. "Let's go!"

"Can we sing?" Matt Hardy IV asked.

"I said I don't have time," Andy said. "Oh, fine, whatever."

Andy and Matt Hardy IV skipped down the fire brick road, singing as they went along.

Oh, we're off to see the devil!

The terrible devilly guy!

He's mean, he's bad, and if you are too


You'll see him when you die!

And nobody wants to do that because

Because of the terrible things he does

Because because because because because!

Because of the terrible things he does!

Oh, we're off to see the devil!

The terrible devilly guy!

---

Meanwhile, in Satan's office, the devil was very busily doing corporate office work. A demon secretary walked in to see him.

"Hey, what's up?" Satan asked. "Who's next on the torture schedule?"

"A greasy-haired man named Vicious, sir," the secretary said.

"Great! Send demons to torture him right away," Satan said. "And get out! Mwahaha!"

"Yes sir," the demon said, walking out.

---

Meanwhile, Faye continued to walk through Hell.

"Spike's in section EE, cell 17,685," Faye said. "I can't wait to see him and tell him how much I love him!"

Suddenly, a man walked up to Faye. He began laughing.

"Mwahaha!" the man laughed. "Remember me? I'm Leroy Brown!"

"Ha ha, you died," Faye laughed. "You suck."

"I'm going to kidnap you and use you to lure Andy into my trap!" Leroy laughed. "Well, I would kidnap you, but former Secretary of State Colin Powell is hoarding all the duct tape I was going to use to tie you up with. So, uh… can you pretend to be tied up?"

"No," Faye said. "Wait a minute… Colin Powell doesn't belong here!"

"Guilt by association, I guess… he works for Bush," Leroy said. "Anyway, uh…"

"Leroy, your pants are on fire," Faye said. Leroy looked down. Sure enough, his pants were on fire.

"Aaah!" Leroy screamed. He ran around, his pants burning with flames. Faye began laughing.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a space cowboy to find," Faye said. "See you on the flip side!"


Faye ran off, leaving Leroy and his pants to burn.

---

Meanwhile, Andy and Matt Hardy IV had reached the end of the fire brick road and were standing right outside Satan's office.

"Come in," said an evil sounding voice from inside. Andy and Hardy IV walked in and sat down across the desk from Satan.


"Hello," Andy said. "Now, I'm not here to mince words. I want out of here!"


"Really?" Satan asked. "I'll tell you how to get out… in exchange for your soul! Bwahahahaha!"

"You'd better do what he says," Hardy IV said. "He's got a lot of Mattitude!"


"What are you doing in my office, Matt Hardy IV? You're supposed to be getting tortured right now!" Satan yelled angrily. Two demons stepped up behind Matt Hardy IV and dragged him out of Satan's office.

"Uh, I'm sorry about that," Andy said. "I just wanted him to tag along."

"Silence!" Satan yelled. "Andy, I want your soul!"

"If you took my soles, my shoes wouldn't fit!" Andy said. "Actually, I'm wearing cowboy boots, and if you took their soles, they'd be ruined, and I spent a lot of money on these shoes, and-"


"Silence!" Satan yelled again. "I meant your soul!"

"I know what you meant, and the answer is no," Andy said. "These are my lucky boots!"


"Are you sassing me?" Satan asked.


"Are you sassing me?" Andy sassed mockingly. "Heh, that was just a joke there."

"Silence!" Satan yelled a third time.

"You're not being quiet," Andy said. "Hypocrite."

"That does it! Guards!" Satan yelled. Two more demons entered the room and grabbed Andy.

"Hey, I don't deserve this!" Andy yelled. "I want to know how to get out!"

"You'll never get out!" Satan shouted. "Mwahahaha!"

The two demons dragged Andy away.

---

Meanwhile, inside a torture chamber deep inside Hell, Vicious was chained to the wall. A smirk was on his face. Ten demons walked into the room.

"Heh heh," Vicious chuckled. "Fools."


"What are you so happy about?" one of the demons asked. "You some kind of masochist or something?"

"Heh heh," Vicious chuckled again. "You'd better kill me and get it over with."

"Whatever," the demon said. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Suddenly, Raven IV ran into the room. The ten demons immediately beat him to death.

"See?" the demon said. "It didn't work. Ha!"

Vicious chuckled again.


"That wasn't my real plan," Vicious said. This time, a real raven flew in.

"Nevermore! Nevermore!" quothed the raven as it pecked at the demons' eyes. The raven flew over and freed Vicious from his chains. Vicious unsheathed his katana.

"The NWO is reborn!" Vicious shouted. Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash IV, and Scott Hall IV ran into the room and began beating the crap out of the demons.

"What are we gonna do now, brother? What are we gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on us?" Hogan asked.

"Some unfinished business," Satan said. "C'mon."

---


Meanwhile, in the dungeon, Andy was sitting in one of the cells.

"I'm depressed," Andy sighed. "I'll never get out of here!"

"Andy-person?" came a voice from the cell across from Andy. Andy looked up to see Edward sitting in the cell across from him.

"Edward?" Andy asked. "How did you get in here?"

"Edward was walking around when somebody grabbed Edward from behind and knocked Edward out! And now Edward is here…" Edward sighed. "Edward is tired…"


Edward flopped onto the bed in her cell and fell asleep.

"I guess I'll get some shut-eye too," Andy said. "I'll figure out a way out of here in the morning…"

Andy flopped onto his bed and fell asleep.

---

Meanwhile, Faye had reached Section EE and was in the hallway containing cells 17,650-17,700.

"Almost there," Faye said. She continued to walk. Finally, she reached cell 17,685. But when she got there, two demons were standing in front of it. They seemed to be talking to each other.

"We torture the guy, but it's like he doesn't even feel it," one of the demons said. "He's so depressed…

"And he keeps mentioning a guy named Julia," the other demon said. "Poor guy… his lover's in Heaven and he's here.

"Actually, it's kinda funny," the first demon said. Faye walked up to the two demons.

"Is Spike Spiegel in there?" Faye asked.

"He sure is," the first demon said. "Hey, who are you?"

"My name is Faye Valentine," Faye said. "I'm visiting Hell to look for Spike."

"You can't go in there. Only demons can," the second demon said. "If you want in, you have to give us your soul!"

Faye lifted up her vest and flashed her breasts to the demons.

"Never mind," the first demon said. "Go on in!"

"Spike, here I come," Faye said. She opened the door and walked inside.

---

Meanwhile, in the dungeon…

"Andy-person, wakey up!" Edward yelled. Andy sat up in his bed.

"Edward, how did you get in here?" Andy asked.

"All of the cells are open," Edward said. "This is creepy…"


Edward and Andy stepped inside. Edward pointed at the ground.

"A trail of blood," Edward said. "Andy-person, Edward is scared!"

"Let's investigate," Andy said. Andy and Edward followed the trail of blood. The dead bodies of demons were strewn along the trail. The trail of blood continued and continued on and on, all the way to Satan's office.

"Maybe we shouldn't go in," Edward said.

"Nonsense!" Andy said. He opened the door.

"Uh oh… ooh la la," Edward said. "Lookie…"

Satan was slumped over on his desk in a pool of blood. A katana had been stuck into his back.

"Oh my God, they've killed Satan!" Andy yelled. "Whodunit? Who stabbed Satan? Who's going to solve this?"

"Maybe you!" Edward said, pointing straight at the camera. The camera panned around to reveal that Edward was pointing at Andy.

"Yeah, I'll give it a shot," Andy said.

To be continued…

---


Trunks: Hello, I'm Trunks Briefs…

Ami: And I'm Ami Mizuno! And we're going to plug Ry's next fanfic, "Love In A Ruined World"!

Trunks: It's gonna be wonderful, angsty, kawaii…

Ami: Oh, Trunks… *kisses him seductively*

Andy: Hey! This is our preview!


Faye: That's right!


Trunks: I don't think so.

Andy: Plug in your own fanfic!

Spike: Here's to Bebop!

Faye: Oh, Spike… *kisses him seductively*


Spike: Mmm! *pushes Faye off of him* Go kiss Andy!

Faye: Oh, Andy… *facefaults*

Trunks: Next episode… "Trunks and Ami Make Love"!

Andy: No, no, NO! Next episode: "Dude, We're Going To Hell (Part 2)"!

Ami: Aww…