Chapter 2
As the scene opens, Hermione is passionately snogging Goyle. Dean, walking down the hallway, randomly observes that they look like two vacuum cleaners stuck together. Unfortunately, he is so disgusted by what he has just witnessed that he runs and throws up in the boys lavatory. Poor Dean. HeÕll be sick for days. Anyhoo, as Hermione wrapped her legs around GoyleÕs waist, the aforementioned luscious Draco Malfoy comes by. Slapping her almost bare butt (sheÕs exposing her knickers to the world! AHHH!!) he whistled. Hermione turned and caught a glimpse of him winking. Unfortunately, she had to squint, because his overly gelled hair was reflecting light. She licked her lips and smiled at him, then went back to vacuuming GoyleÕs mouth.
Suddenly, a random frog/toad/amphibious creature hopped on HermioneÕs head! Goyle stopped what he was doing (which was something too vulgar to be mentioned) to observe this highly interesting amphibian. Hermione, distracted by the fact that GoyleÕs slimy tongue was no longer in unmentionable places, stopped as well. Turning around, the entangled pair saw Neville come catapulting down the hallway. Scooping the frog off HermioneÕs bushy hair, he exclaimed, ÒTrevor! IÕve been ever so worried!Ó
Hermione, seeing the frog, went wild. She grabbed poor Trevor out of NevilleÕs hands and began to passionately snog the poor creature. Amazingly, Trevor suddenly turned into a ÒhandsomeÓ prince, who remotely resembled one of FrodoÕs hairy feet. Hermione went even wilder and began to molest the poor prince. The disturbed prince, who had never before experienced true love, grabbed HermioneÕs hand, dragging her off to a closet, giggling all the way. Goyle and Neville remained behind. Neville was quite disenchanted that his toad was a prince (ÒI let him sleep in my bed!Ó) and Goyle was quite disenchanted that Hermione was no longer passionately snogging him. WerenÕt they a disenchanted bunch.
Leaving the disenchanted bunch, we find Harry heading off to lunch in the great hall. Every mirror he passes, he takes the opportunity to admire his nose. Ginny comes up behind him, and taps him on the shoulder. Startled, Harry whipped around.
ÒHi Harry, whatcha doinÕ?Ó Ginny asked in a hopeful manner that anyone who wasnÕt so conceited as Harry would find pathetic.
ÒOh, IÕm just making sure my nose has not developed any abnormalities in the past sixteen seconds,Ó he said vainly.
ÒOh.Ó Ginny said, miffed that he hadnÕt been trying to catch a glimpse of her in one of the mirrors. ÒUm..okay well IÕm going to go to the Great Hall now.Ó she said in one last attempt to capture HarryÕs attention.
ÒUh...okay..right...Ó Harry said, still admiring his nose in the mirror. Ginny left, pouting. All of the sudden, Harry had a brilliant idea! He could test out his new idea on Ginny. He cackled evilly (warranting strange stares from several of the portraits) and chased after her, applying an attractiveness potion to his face.
Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table when suddenly Harry ran up behind her and pinched her rump. (a/n: isnÕt that the funniest word? rump? okay...so IÕm the only one who thinks that. Fine then.) She squealed, and, without turning around, grabbed her bowl of steaming hot soup and hurled it at HarryÕs face. She then turned around and saw Harry on the ground, clutching his face and clawing at it wildly.
ÒMY NOSE!!! MY PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL NOSE!Ó he screeched, his face still covered, ÒI AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN VIRGINIA WEASLEY!Ó
ÒMy my, quite the drama queen!Ó said Hermione from SeamusÕs lap, where she had been forcefully spooning soup into his mouth as he tried to (politely) push that ugly ho off his lap. Finally, Seamus screamed girlishly and pointed to the window.
ÒLOOK OVER THERE!Ó he exclaimed. As Hermione ran to the window, he cleverly ran off to his dorm to take a shower. Who knows where that girl has been! He shuddered and grabbed a gold bar of soap and headed off to the PrefectÕs bathroom.
Author's Note: We lurve you for reading our fic! *smiles encouragingly* Pretty please review, and we will love you forever and ever! Oh and leave your email addy if you want us to email you when we update. Thanks! Oh, and I suppose I should do a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don't really own these characters...all I own is the plot, this disclaimer, and you, slave! Dance for me!
(*sob* Well, I don't actually own the disclaimer... I stole it from someone else's fic! *more sobbing* I'm just a regular ol' plagiarist. *hums*)
As the scene opens, Hermione is passionately snogging Goyle. Dean, walking down the hallway, randomly observes that they look like two vacuum cleaners stuck together. Unfortunately, he is so disgusted by what he has just witnessed that he runs and throws up in the boys lavatory. Poor Dean. HeÕll be sick for days. Anyhoo, as Hermione wrapped her legs around GoyleÕs waist, the aforementioned luscious Draco Malfoy comes by. Slapping her almost bare butt (sheÕs exposing her knickers to the world! AHHH!!) he whistled. Hermione turned and caught a glimpse of him winking. Unfortunately, she had to squint, because his overly gelled hair was reflecting light. She licked her lips and smiled at him, then went back to vacuuming GoyleÕs mouth.
Suddenly, a random frog/toad/amphibious creature hopped on HermioneÕs head! Goyle stopped what he was doing (which was something too vulgar to be mentioned) to observe this highly interesting amphibian. Hermione, distracted by the fact that GoyleÕs slimy tongue was no longer in unmentionable places, stopped as well. Turning around, the entangled pair saw Neville come catapulting down the hallway. Scooping the frog off HermioneÕs bushy hair, he exclaimed, ÒTrevor! IÕve been ever so worried!Ó
Hermione, seeing the frog, went wild. She grabbed poor Trevor out of NevilleÕs hands and began to passionately snog the poor creature. Amazingly, Trevor suddenly turned into a ÒhandsomeÓ prince, who remotely resembled one of FrodoÕs hairy feet. Hermione went even wilder and began to molest the poor prince. The disturbed prince, who had never before experienced true love, grabbed HermioneÕs hand, dragging her off to a closet, giggling all the way. Goyle and Neville remained behind. Neville was quite disenchanted that his toad was a prince (ÒI let him sleep in my bed!Ó) and Goyle was quite disenchanted that Hermione was no longer passionately snogging him. WerenÕt they a disenchanted bunch.
Leaving the disenchanted bunch, we find Harry heading off to lunch in the great hall. Every mirror he passes, he takes the opportunity to admire his nose. Ginny comes up behind him, and taps him on the shoulder. Startled, Harry whipped around.
ÒHi Harry, whatcha doinÕ?Ó Ginny asked in a hopeful manner that anyone who wasnÕt so conceited as Harry would find pathetic.
ÒOh, IÕm just making sure my nose has not developed any abnormalities in the past sixteen seconds,Ó he said vainly.
ÒOh.Ó Ginny said, miffed that he hadnÕt been trying to catch a glimpse of her in one of the mirrors. ÒUm..okay well IÕm going to go to the Great Hall now.Ó she said in one last attempt to capture HarryÕs attention.
ÒUh...okay..right...Ó Harry said, still admiring his nose in the mirror. Ginny left, pouting. All of the sudden, Harry had a brilliant idea! He could test out his new idea on Ginny. He cackled evilly (warranting strange stares from several of the portraits) and chased after her, applying an attractiveness potion to his face.
Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table when suddenly Harry ran up behind her and pinched her rump. (a/n: isnÕt that the funniest word? rump? okay...so IÕm the only one who thinks that. Fine then.) She squealed, and, without turning around, grabbed her bowl of steaming hot soup and hurled it at HarryÕs face. She then turned around and saw Harry on the ground, clutching his face and clawing at it wildly.
ÒMY NOSE!!! MY PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL NOSE!Ó he screeched, his face still covered, ÒI AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN VIRGINIA WEASLEY!Ó
ÒMy my, quite the drama queen!Ó said Hermione from SeamusÕs lap, where she had been forcefully spooning soup into his mouth as he tried to (politely) push that ugly ho off his lap. Finally, Seamus screamed girlishly and pointed to the window.
ÒLOOK OVER THERE!Ó he exclaimed. As Hermione ran to the window, he cleverly ran off to his dorm to take a shower. Who knows where that girl has been! He shuddered and grabbed a gold bar of soap and headed off to the PrefectÕs bathroom.
Author's Note: We lurve you for reading our fic! *smiles encouragingly* Pretty please review, and we will love you forever and ever! Oh and leave your email addy if you want us to email you when we update. Thanks! Oh, and I suppose I should do a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don't really own these characters...all I own is the plot, this disclaimer, and you, slave! Dance for me!
(*sob* Well, I don't actually own the disclaimer... I stole it from someone else's fic! *more sobbing* I'm just a regular ol' plagiarist. *hums*)