A/N: No time for a long one … it's way past my bedtime. Thanks for all your great reviews. I got over 500!!!!!! *glomps Sesshy in excitement* Here's the next chappy for you. And please don't kill me; I did it for a reason. *runs away to hide*
-mama: stepmother
mon: family crest
Maikimi: Ma – demon ikimi – flesh and blood so Maikimi = flesh and blood of a demon; I sorta made it up, bear with me.
BIG THANKS to Emcron, and Ash for helping me with this chappy. You guys are great!
Chapter 12: Awake to A New Day
She was dying. There was no use trying to fool herself. Every muscle in her body cried out in agony and it felt as though the stuff being pumped through her veins was not blood but some kind of acid that was eating at her from inside. It hurt to move, to breathe, to think.
Mom, Souta. Oh grandpa, I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I'm so tired… It would be easy to sink into the oblivion of sleep. The darkness beckoned, stretching out icy black fingers to wrap around her throat and pull her downwards. She let them, enjoying the cool feel on her neck that pushed away the burning pain.
"Kagome!" That voice; she knew that voice. But though her mind worked to produce a name, the darkness surrounded her brain and blacked everything out. All that she could come up with were wisps of silver hair and burning golden eyes. Inu-Yasha? No, that wasn't right. This voice never said her name that way: in fear, fear for her.
I'm ok, she tried to tell the nameless person. I'm ok. Without realizing it, she pushed away the darkness as she tried to comfort the sad voice. It was all wrong. He shouldn't be sad or worried, though she wasn't exactly sure why. "I'm ok."
The cold fingers melted away, and instantly the searing pain rushed to replace it. She writhed in agony, but this time refused to give in to the welcoming darkness. He would be sad if she did. So she fought, until and entirely different numbing feeling originating from her hip enveloped her and swept her away into oblivion.
***
"Ah, poor little one. So much pain for such a young one to bear."
"She's hardly a child, in any sense of the word."
"Yes, she never was a child. Not really."
"Careful. She wakes."
Kagome opened her eyes. She lie on her back, but for her life she wouldn't have been able to say whether she was laying on the ground or a futon, all she could have said for sure was that she was extremely comfortable. There was no ceiling, or walls for that matter, and she had some serious doubts about the existence of the floor. Everything was a muted silver color that shone slightly with some sort of ethereal light. And though she had heard voices, there was no one to be seen.
"Where am I?" she whispered, almost afraid of an answer.
Sure enough, the first voice that she had heard, a gentle woman, answered. "Inside your mind dear."
Kagome frowned, "Why is it so, so…"
"Vast?" asked another of the voices.
"Grey."
A third, the one that had noticed her waking and seemed constantly amused, replied this time. "Because you are thinking of nothing in particular. Try to concentrate on something."
The woman obeyed, locking on to the first thing that came to mind. For the briefest of seconds, a white-clad silver-haired figure appeared before her, but flicked away when surprise caused her to lose her concentration. "Sesshoumaru," she whispered. "Come back."
A hand fell on her shoulder, though she couldn't see it. For some reason, in this odd place, it didn't seem to bother her. "Enough," came the fourth and final voice before she could try and bring back the demon. Softer, he added, "You will see the demon lord soon enough. It is time for you to wake."
Kagome started. "Already? But I have so many questions…" Her protests faded as her eyes opened, this time for real.
***
This is getting too damn weird, Kagome decided as she tried to focus on the stone ceiling. The unbearable pain that had engulfed her before had dulled to a throb, mostly centered around her lower abdomen. Putting it aside for a moment, she tried to figure out where she was and dissect her odd dream at the same time.
As it turned out, she wasn't even able to do that much. And put to a choice, she decided that she had better stick to dream interpretation, if she had been captured by Naraku then she really didn't want to know at the moment.
Had it really been a dream? It had seemed so real, and everything, though it now seemed altogether unusual, had seemed familiar. And comforting. Kagome started in realization. It felt like home. Not the little house that she had grown up in, but home, the feeling that enveloped her like a lover's embrace every time she found a place that brought her peace.
She shivered, and closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. Suddenly, she decided that she would rather figure out where she was; the thought of spending an eternity in a dream world – no matter how perfect it was – didn't appeal to her much. Her eyes opened again and she tired to force her tired eyes to focus.
"Kagome-mama!" The woman turned her head to look into a pair of wide eyes.
"Rin-chan?"
"Hi, Kagome-mama! You're awake! You sure slept a long time." The young girl frowned slightly. "Were you really tired?"
Kagome smiled tiredly, "Yea. I sure was." The smile faded as she lay back, trying to hide a grimace from the girl. She throbbed, and the pain threatened to consume her once more. "Why don't you go tell Sesshoumaru-sama that I'm awake?" In truth, she really didn't think that the demon lord would care too much, but she didn't want Rin to see her like this.
"Sure Kagome-mama!" the girl chirped and bounded away.
Kagome allowed herself to relax her mask as she tried to get her pain under control. It hurt everywhere. Her frayed nerve endings were screaming louder and louder…
Until suddenly, a soothing voice, or rather, four soothing voices in unison, said something that she couldn't make out, but the pain subsided. Her eyes snapped open. That was no dream…
Without the pain to distract her, exhaustion poured over her and her eyes slid closed. A few moments or a few hours later the shoji door slamming open then closed woke her fully. She tried to sit up to see what was going on, but her abused body wouldn't let her.
A hand slid behind her head as she fell back down and her eyes locked with a pair of golden ones. "Shh, don't try to move too much."
"Sesshou," she whispered.
"Yes. It's me." Then he surprised her by dropping a soft swift kiss on her lips. Before she had any time to react, however, he pulled away, and odd expression flashing over his face before it was replaced by his usual one. "I am … well, it's about time you woke up."
Kagome frowned slightly. Sesshoumaru was just as confusing as ever, which in some ways was a relief. "How long have I been out? For that matter, what happened?"
The demon lord sat back, settling into a sitting position beside her on the futon. For a moment, he seemed to consider what to say. Finally, he spoke. "Naraku is dead." Sesshoumaru grimaced slightly, though Kagome doubted that it had anything to do with the evil hanyou's death.
Once again, Kagome struggled to sit up, but this time, Sesshoumaru slipped an arm around her and helped her sit up. "I don't remember that," she frowned slightly, "Kikyo's dead too right? I remember Inu-Yasha…" Kagome trailed off, remembering the look on the priestess' face when Inu-Yasha had destroyed her. The woman pressed a palm to her forehead; she didn't want to think about that at the moment. "Umm, how long was I out?"
The demon lord didn't blink at her abrupt change of subject. "Two days."
Two days, Kagome mused, two days of her life that she would never get back. Then again, maybe they hadn't been a complete loss. After all, Naraku was dead, and they were safe. Considering the circumstances, the price that they paid had been rather small.
But what would happen now? Kagome's hand strayed to her belly without thought. It was flat! The woman looked down at herself for the first time since she'd woken, and confirmed that she was, indeed, no longer the size of a whale. Wide-eyed she turned back to Sesshoumaru who was watching her with a carefully blank expression on his face. "Where…?" she began, but he cut her off by rising from the bed.
"You should get some rest, Kagome," he said softly in a tone that brooked no argument. But she would have none of it. In a move that surprised them both, she grabbed the retreating demon's leg and tugged with an unnatural strength, making him topple to the ground. Ignoring her screaming muscles, she crawled forward and sat on Sesshoumaru's chest, pinning him where he lay.
"Don't blow me off, Sesshoumaru. Where is my baby?!" she screeched. The demon winced at the abuse to his sensitive ears and sat up, letting Kagome slide into his lap. The look on his face told her all that she needed to know as fleeting memories began to surface.
"She's lost a lot of blood my lord. But the blows have induced contractions. We can force the birth of the child."
"What about Kagome?"
"She's very badly wounded my lord; they both are. We will have a better chance saving the child."
"I don't give a damn about the brat! Just save Kagome!"
Without any warning, a flood of tears sprung to her eyes. "No." Her baby was gone. It had been all her fault for getting to close to the battle in the first place. It was her fault that the child was gone, and yet she had lived. "No, no, no," she whispered and turned her haunted eyes to Sesshoumaru. "He's gone." And then Sesshoumaru held her while she cried.
***
With shaking hands, Kagome carefully brushed her fingers against the engraved kanji of her son's headstone while Sesshoumaru watched silently. "Maikimi," she read once more. Tears formed in her eyes as she turned back to him, "So you accept him, as your son?"
Against his will, he felt the stern expression that he had adopted softening. "Of course." Carefully, he wiped the tears from her face while he steeled himself for what he was about to say next. "How do you feel?"
Kagome, who had been expected something a little less mundane, looked confused. "Like shit," she blurted out without really thinking about what she was saying.
"I'm glad." Sesshoumaru caught the woman's wrist before she could slap him, and continued without blinking. "I'm glad that you are still able to feel like shit. You nearly died." Using his grip on her wrist, the demon drew the now very confused Kagome into an embrace and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I never really admitted how important you were to me before, Kagome. But when … when you were sick, all I could think is that I would not be able to live without you." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Forgive me Kagome. I killed our son." Kagome gasped, but Sesshoumaru didn't stop. "I had to let him die, Kagome. If I hadn't, you would have taken his place." Pulling back, he looked into the woman's teary eyes, "There will be more pups, but there will never be anyone else like you." Finally Sesshoumaru fell silent, waiting to see how his words had affected his beloved.
Kagome watched him, wide eyed, as she tried to process what she was hearing. "More … pups? Our pups?"
The demon lord nodded, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly. "I do not wish to let anyone else bear my children. Will you be my mate, Kagome?" The woman stood dumbfounded, unable to speak. After a few moments, Sesshoumaru became nervous, what if she refused him? "Kagome?" he asked hesitantly, breaking her out of her trance.
She blinked and looked up at him for all of .5 seconds. Then she launched herself at him with a cry. The demon lord caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Yes!" she cried into his shoulder. "Yes, of course."
The demon lord allowed a rare smile to cross his face as he held a sobbing Kagome. His eyes rested on his son's grave. I would that you had had a chance, my son. He turned his gaze to Kagome, but Death cannot be cheated, and yours was not in vain.
***
Dark thoughts invaded Kagome's dreams, and she woke from them in a cold sweat. Without really thinking about it, her hand groped to her left in search of some comfort. Sesshoumaru was gone, and considering that the sun was shining merrily through the window in their room, she wasn't surprised.
Had it really only been yesterday that she had agreed to become Sesshoumaru's mate? It felt as though they had been sleeping in the same bed for years. With a small smile, Kagome pressed her palm to the mark just above her left breast. It still stung a bit, but that wasn't the reason why she remembered it. The look on the demon lord's face when he had flicked his claw across her delicate skin was priceless. He had seemed horrified at the thought of harming her, even to mark her as his own. Kagome herself hadn't really minded; she'd barely felt it after all, and a scar shaped like Sesshoumaru's mon was going to look really cool when it healed.
All in all, a good night's sleep had done her a world of good. She was still a touch sore in the unmentionable areas, but other than that, she felt as good as new. Laughter outside her window dispelled the last of the fear induced by her dreams, and she stretched with a lazy smile on her face. Perhaps she would go and she what Rin and Shippou were up to, and then find Sesshoumaru. They had a mating ceremony to plan after all. She really needed to go home and explain things to her mother as well. Mama would be happy to know that the demon lord was doing right by her.
Stretching again, Kagome pulled on another light kimono over her yukata and got out of bed. Her sudden urge to see her family was overwhelming, and she needed to talk to Sesshoumaru about going back.
Sliding the door shut behind her, Kagome slipped down the hall towards Sesshoumaru's library, that was as good a place as any to start looking for him. Before she got two steps, however, the woman heard the unmistakable sounds of a scuffle, and then none other than Inu-Yasha yelling. With a curse, Kagome headed off in that direction.
***
He wasn't about to give up on her that easily. They had fought too long, too hard together to be separated now. Curse his stubborn idiocy, but he had finally figured out whom he really loved. And now that there were no battle, no barriers between them, he wasn't going to lose her. He couldn't lose her.
In typical Inu-Yasha fashion, the hanyou didn't bother to argue with the guards at the gate, he merely barged strait through them. His fear for Kagome's safety blinded all reason as he ignored the furious demons that were now chasing him. It had all ready been three days since the battle. Three days of desperate worry, but he had an obligation to get Sango and Miroku to Kaede to be treated first. Once he had, however, nothing, not even exhaustion or hunger, had been able to stop him from getting to Kagome.
Except maybe his brother.
The demon lord, coming out to see what the commotion was about, had stepped right in front of him. That didn't stop Inu-Yasha though; he barged strait into the full demon with a roar.
"Where is she!?"
Sesshoumaru delicately stepped out of his raging brother's way. "She is fine. Don't yell; you will wake her up."
Inu-Yasha turned, glaring at his brother, who was signaling his guards to return to their posts. "Don't preach to me, brother," he spat in return. "I know Kagome better than you ever will!"
The demon lord raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Then explain to me how you failed to see that your continuous pursuit of that undead priestess was tearing her apart. Or how you neglected to know that she would eventually turn on you when she finally wearied of your constant betrayals!" Inu-Yasha roared and lunged, but this time Sesshoumaru didn't step out of the way. He caught the hanyou by the neck and lifted him up so that he dangled like an insolent pup. "Be advised, little brother, that I would not hesitate to snap your neck here and now except that it would upset Kagome."
"Sesshou?"
Inu-Yasha watched through teary eyes as the demon's own golden ones widened slightly as he looked beyond his prey. Suddenly, the hanyou was dropped to the ground and he scrambled up, turning to see what had caught his brother's attention.
Kagome stood behind him, loosely wrapped in a kimono and under kimono and leaning heavily against the wall. Seeking comfort in her scent, he found that it was slightly tainted with blood, her blood to be exact. Growling, the half-demon turned to Sesshoumaru, who was watching Kagome, and lunged. "What happened to her you bastard?" he yelled.
"Sit!" Suddenly, Inu-Yasha found himself getting up close and personal with Sesshoumaru's floor. Which in itself was probably a good thing for the demon lord, seeing as he probably would have taken the full force of Inu-Yasha's attack without Kagome's intervention. As it was, he merely slipped to the woman's side just in time to catch her before she fell.
Wrapping his arms around her, the demon leaned down and whispered into her ear, "You should be in bed."
Kagome's eyes flicked to her soon-to-be mate and then back to Inu-Yasha, who was getting up with a few choice curses to help him along. "I heard you fighting."
"And you thought that you were well enough to run down the hall?" Sesshoumaru reprimanded.
"But I'm feeling a lot better!" Oh Kagome, you haven't changed much, and yet you've changed too much all at the same time. Listening to the exchange, Inu-Yasha realized that it was much like those few that he recalled between his parents, so long ago. With a small groan, the hanyou sprung to his feet and turned to face the two. Maybe Kagome was happy here with his brother, but he wasn't quite satisfied yet.
Putting on his best arrogant face, Inu-Yasha said, "Why are you bleeding, Kagome?" The woman blushed, and silently pulled away a corner of her kimono to reveal a small wound in the shape of his father's mon, the symbol of his family. He turned to Sesshoumaru, who looked at him with a blank expression, almost daring him to argue.
Kagome looked between the two and hastily cut in. "Sesshoumaru, I would like to talk to Inu-Yasha alone please." Turning her best puppy-dog expression to the demon lord, she got him to agree, steadying herself against the wall as he left.
"You're his mate," Inu-Yasha snapped as soon as Sesshoumaru vanished. He couldn't help it; even though he knew in his heart that he had lost Kagome long ago, it was still hard to accept.
"Not officially," Kagome said, "But yes."
Inu-Yasha watched her for a moment, and then in one last ditch effort, blurted, "Are you sure about this?"
She didn't hesitate. "Absolutely." Then she sighed, "I love him Inu-Yasha. I know for a fact that I love him. With you, I always wondered if it was just Kikyo's residual feelings, and you never seemed to care anyway." Inu-Yasha winced, but she didn't stop. "Sesshoumaru would give everything for me, even our son." Tears formed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "You needn't worry that he will harm me."
The half-demon watched Kagome for a long time, processing all that she had said. Finally he replied, "Ok."
"What?"
"Ok. I … I know I wasn't the best to you, and Sesshoumaru … well, he's honorable. If he asked you to be his mate, then I have to believe that it will be for the best." He forced a smile, "Besides, at least it wasn't Kouga, right?" Kagome was to stunned to say anything, so after a moment, Inu-Yasha turned away. "I'll just go now."
"Wait!" He stopped, but refused to turn back to her. "Come here … please." After a few moments of wrestling with himself, the hanyou did as he was bid, stopping within a few feet of Kagome. She reached forward and tugged off the beads that had held him in slavery for so long. "You don't need these anymore," Kagome explained quietly, tucking them into her sleeve. He nodded silently, willing himself to move, but he found that he lacked the willpower. Inu-Yasha knew that the moment he stepped out the doors, he was giving Kagome up forever. "Where will you go now?" she finally asked.
Inu-Yasha shrugged, "I don't know. Probably back to Kaede's village." And finally, he turned, forcing himself to finally say goodbye.
Kagome watched silently as he walked thorough the doors, whispering a goodbye of her own. Inu-Yasha had been her first love, and through their ordeal she had learned much. She would miss him … Kagome realized as he disappeared from view. But she could not grieve for her broken crush, there was too much that she had to look forward to with Sesshoumaru.
With a small smile, Kagome turned away from Inu-Yasha and her past and went in search of Sesshoumaru: her love, her mate, and her future.
Not Kouga indeed…
***
"…And so we're getting married – sorta – and I'm going to live with him in the Sengoku Jidai."
Kagome's mother sat back in her chair, dumbfounded. Souta was grinning like an idiot, and her grandpa was frowning. Not exactly the best reaction, but considering all that she'd told them, it was better than she had expected. At least her mother hadn't had a mental episode yet. She had started from when they had seen each other last, towards the beginning of her pregnancy, and, using the details that Sesshoumaru had provided her with, had filled her family in up to that point. She had left the demon lord at home, figuring that his presence would only complicate things.
Kagome's mother sighed, "I just don't know about this. You're only seventeen after all, and what about your schooling?"
Kagome echoed her mother. "I love him, mama. And besides, I can hardly tell him that I've changed my mind now. Seventeen isn't as young as you make it sound, especially in the Sengoku Jidai, so I think that I am old enough to make my own decisions. As for school … well, I don't need to know about history that hasn't happened yet, or languages that haven't been heard, or places that no one has heard of where I'm going to be."
"You're dropping out?" her mother practically screeched.
Kagome rubbed her ears and mumbled, "We go to school so that we can function in our particular society. Since I'm not going to be living here, there's no point. I can learn whatever I need to know with Sesshoumaru. I'll still come back and visit, I promise."
Her mom thought this over for a while. Finally, she said, "I can see that there is no changing your mind. And I do think that you are old enough to make your own decisions, Kagome. Going back and forth like you've been doing has matured you. So, though I'm not happy about it, I'm not going to stop you from living with the man you love." Kagome grinned, unable to contain herself, and hugged her mother, then her brother and her grandpa.
"Well, I guess I'll have to think of some excuse for why you're not going back to school, eh Kagome?"
"No way, grandpa," the woman replied a little too quickly. Jeez, even after a stroke, the old guy hadn't changed. "Knowing you, you'll say that I'm dead, and then I won't be able to visit my friends. Just say that I moved to the country with some relatives for my health or something."
Her grandpa grinned, "Hey, that's a good one." They shared a laugh and chatted for a few moments more before Kagome stood up.
"Well, I better get going."
Her mother frowned, "You're sure you won't stay tonight?"
Kagome hugged her mom lightly, "It's not that I don't want to, but I better be getting home. Sesshoumaru's waiting for me."
Next time: Preparing for the mating ceremony, and a lesson in the jewel's makeup.
*from a secret hiding place where she cannot be killed* Two more to go … And there will be a sequel to tie up loose ends.
Don't kill me! I had to do it!