AN: Here ya go, chapter 7. Not really much else to say.
"…now this time to wonder, now this time to heal, tme to let it all come down, but I don't know what I feel.
But it aches and it hurts and it burns, oh it kills me.
Tick, tock, you don't stop, you don't fade, you just stay…"
Anouk, 'My Best Wasn't Good Enough'
If there was one thing Gambit loved, it was the knowledge that no secret on earth was safe from him. He might not have the power to browse though someone's thoughts the way Xavier could, but he could walk into a life when no one was looking and put together the pieces for himself. Mystique had unwittingly provided just the necessary distraction- with Shadowcat and Rogue down in Mexico, their temporary room in the mansion, which had almost been completely reconstructed, was undisturbed. It had been embarrassingly easy to break in. He put a chair under the doorknob, just in case the younger mutants were as nosy as he was, and set to making as thorough a violation of Rogue's privacy as possible.
In a drawer, face down, he found a framed picture of her in a black lace dress and Quicksilver in a white suit, Rogue's arms wrapped around the boy, his hand gently touching her hair. Neither was looking at the camera, so he suspected that this was a candid shot, and not one posed. He dug around a little more, flipping through books, but turned up very little. This wasn't very surprising, after all, the mansion had just blown up, with everything in it. He was curious as to where she'd stashed that photograph to keep it safe.
Jackpot, he thought, pulling a book with no title on the spine off the shelf. It was plain black, with neat handwriting inside. He reclined himself on Rogue's bed and, without a shred of shame or remorse, began reading her journal.
The first entry was three days after the Sentinel incident- anything she'd written previous would have been lost in the explosion, but there was a lot to be said for a journal written when starting over.
I don't know what to do, she'd written. I could just kill that idiot. Have faith in him. I don't even know if I believe in faith.
The rest was just about the reconstruction of the mansion, finding the professor, and a bit about how cool it had been to be so strong when she stole Juggernaut's powers. Gambit flipped to the next entry, nestling his head into the pillow and making himself more comfortable as he read.
I just don't know what to do, she wrote in an entry dated after Gambit had sent the Brotherhood to rescue Pietro. He says nothing's changed, but how can I believe that? He betrayed everyone. His sister, Lance, me, he handed us all to Magneto. Is this just some kind of game to him? Is he stringing me along for fun? I don't want to think about it, I can't. The one boy I've ever really cared about, the one boy I can touch-
Hold up. Did he read that right?
"Well well well, mon petit, you not so lethal as Magneto seems to think."
-and he's got an evil crazy dad with an agenda. God I miss him so much. Seeing him today just made it worse. I never knew that I could hurt this bad. Did I do something? Was I boring? God, I'm gonna die a virgin, I know it. It couldn't have been a game all along… I saw into his head, he meant it all, at least for a while. Did he change his mind? How did I lose him… what did I do wrong?
Then there's that damned new recruit of Magneto's, the King of Hearts. Up to something is an understatement. He's always showing up, and he's the only one of Magneto's new gang that ever does. Why is that? Sticks around just long enough to say hello and then disappear again. Kitty thinks he's good looking. Just what I need in my life, another good looking boy who's up to something.
I really, really miss Pietro.
That was the last entry. Gambit closed the book, then turned his head and inhaled the scent Rogue's hair had left behind on the pillowcase. Ever since he was a kid he'd had a thing for the reserved girls. More chase, more fun, and once they came around, they were usually wild animals. For Gambit, there was something even more intriguing about this one, a girl whose touch could actually kill a man. Magneto said that she pulled the life energy and the powers right out of a mutant's body. Gambit found himself intensely curious as to how that felt. And how did Quicksilver find a way around it? How much of the Rogue's affection for the boy was because she could touch him, Gambit wondered. Then he heard a door shut someplace down the hall, followed by voices.
"Hey, they're back!"
"Is Scott okay?"
Gambit sprang to his feet and slid the journal back where he'd found it. He glanced up at the vent through which he'd originally snuck in, but a quick listen told him that exit was blocked.
No big deal, Gambit thought, sweeping the chair out from under the doorknob and putting it back where he'd found it, it's not the first time.
He stepped into Rogue's closet, behind the clothes and into the shadows, leaving the door cracked just enough so that he could see.
"The professor said he wants to see you about Wanda's little visit," Kitty said as they walked in. While Shadowcat was out of Gambit's sightline, he had a very nice view indeed of her roommate taking off her uniform and dressing in more civilian clothes.
I love this job, Gambit thought to himself as the two girls left the room. He slipped out of Rogue's closet and was out the vent before anyone noticed he was gone.
Xavier sensed a vague and unfamiliar presence on the edge of his psyche, but dismissed it as it faded out. Some one knocked at his door- Rogue, of course.
"Have you had Dr. McCoy look at your neck yet?"
"It's fine. Just bruised."
"I take it Scarlet Witch was looking for her father."
"Or her brother. I don't really think she can tell the difference anymore, or if she can, she doesn't care."
"Do you know anything about what Quicksilver and Magneto are planning, Rogue?"
"Take a good long look," Rogue said bitterly. "He's a bright boy; he knows no one in this house can keep a secret from you."
Xavier looked vaguely wounded. Rogue sighed and continued.
"Like I told Wanda. He told me to trust him and that everything would be okay. I ain't like you or Jean, though. I don't know if he was lyin'. Of course, if you don't believe me, you could always try to strangle me. Up to you."
"Rogue-" Xavier started, but the look she gave him cut him off.
"Yeah?" Rogue replied. Xavier sighed.
"Go see Doctor McCoy."
She said nothing as she turned and walked out the door.
"Some bruising, but no permanent damage," Hank said as he checked Rogue's neck and wrists. "You haven't lost any range of motion or anything?"
"I told you, I'm fine," she snapped, yanking her hand away. "When the hell did everyone around here get so damned touchy feely?" she muttered.
"Rogue, I'm not trying to discount how much Quicksilver has hurt you, but one betrayal is no reason to stop trusting people all together," Beast replied.
"Jesus, y'all are making me feel like a Lifetime movie of the week!" she snarled.
"We're just trying to help."
"I don't want your help. What I want is for everyone to stop acting like this is some great tragedy. Boy meets girl, boy screws girl over. It's not like I care."
"This isn't the way to handle this," Beast said. "You don't have to talk about how you're feeling, but pretending you're feeling nothing-"
"Go to hell," Rogue growled, storming out of the medical bay.
I don't know what to do about her, Charles, Beast thought out loud.
I'm at a bit of a loss myself, Henry. We can't force her to accept what's happened, nor can we force her to open up, Xavier thought back.
Rogue got back to her room and lay down on her bed, got back up, grabbed her journal and a pen. She cracked it open, wrote down the date, and wrote,
I'm really starting to hate it here.
The door opened and she snapped the book shut again.
"Hey. Everything go okay with the Professor?" Kitty asked.
"Fabulous," Rogue said, turning towards the wall.
"Well, we still need to have a talk about your choice of words earlier today," Kitty said. "Specifically, the word 'boyfriend.'"
"Kitty, I don't wanna hear it," Rogue grumbled, curling up.
"Come on. Look, I know you're really confused, but, god, he's such a jerk!"
"Kitty, we have school tomorrow."
"You clearly don't need school, since you don't ever seem to learn!"
Rogue turned back over and fixed a murderous look on Kitty. Kitty looked away, shifting her feet uncomfortably.
"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. But I do mean it. Quicksilver's really bad news, Rogue."
"This conversation is over, Kitty," Rogue said, stripping off her clothes and throwing on pajamas.
"Damn it Rogue, you're not the only one who's ever lost a boyfriend!" Kitty shouted.
"What do you know?" Rogue snarled, spinning around. "You dumped Lance 'cause of his politics! But Pietro… I never cared about anyone like that. And no one ever cared about me. And even if I did, even if they did, what the hell am I gonna do about it? Change his bedpan after I drop him into a coma?"
Kitty and Rogue stood glaring at each other for a few minutes before Kitty broke the face off to change into her nightgown and crawl into bed. Rogue stood down as well, getting back under the covers.
"It's not the end of the world," Kitty said quietly as she turned out the light.
Rogue looked out into the darkness of the room.
"What do you know?" she sighed.