Disclaimer: Guess what. I still don't own Inuyasha.
The Way it Feels
"Inuyasha I'm really only going to be gone for one night!" Kagome protested. The scene was a familiar one. Kagome trying to go through the well and Inuyasha was trying to stop her. "I'll be back by morning I swear!"
"Feh! Like I'm going to believe you." Inuyasha retorted, "You're just saying that to get through the well. Then you'll stay in your time until I have to come and drag you back!"
"Inuyasha why would I leave my bag here if I wasn't going to be right back. It has all my clothes, my supplies, and the ramen. Hell it even has my schoolbooks. How can I stay in my time without my schoolbooks!" Inuyasha snorted. Damn her, she had a point. She never went back without her bag.
"If you aren't going to take your stupid 'tests', then why are you going?" He asked. Kagome gulped. She hoped it wouldn't come to this. The truth was she had a date with Hojo. Telling him that would only cause a huge fight. It wasn't that she wanted to go on this date, it was just that she felt bad about standing the boy up so many times. There was only one choice, avoid the question.
"Why does it matter?" She sighed. "I'm just a Shard Detector and we aren't hunting shards tonight, I'll be back by morning, and if I complain once about being tiered I'll…umm… bring you as much ramen and chocolate as I can stuff in my bag." Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow at her. That was a lot of ramen and chocolate… and if it was only for a night…
"Ok, wench, you can go. But I will be back to get you." He smiled to himself. He was going to pay extra close attention to her tomorrow. One word about being tiered, just one, and he'd make sure to hold her to her word. Maybe he could sneak over and keep her up… ok so it was cheating and if he was caught he couldn't hold her to her promise, but if he wasn't…
"Thank you Inuyasha!" Kagome squealed as she rushed past him and down the well. She couldn't believe her luck. He was letting her go, without a fight…ok without much of a fight. She climbed the ladder and hurried to her house. She was going to go on this date, fulfil her obligation to Hojo, clear her conscious, and never have to worry about it again.
She took a hurried shower, blow dried her hair, and dressed up in a pretty green sundress, all the while thanking her lucky stars that Inuyasha had let her go. Hojo arrived at 8:30, right on time. He was dressed in a sky blue button up shirt and black slacks. He presented her with a boutique of lilies and blushed when she accepted them. Kagome smiled and steeled herself for the overly pleasant, complimentary, medical advice filled evening.
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As soon as he felt Kagome wouldn't notice, Inuyasha slipped through the well. Without a sound he made his way to her house and into the God Tree. The night made perfect cover for him high in the tree branches. This was going to be good. From here he could rub the tree branches against her window and keep her too scared to sleep all night. She wouldn't be able keep from complaining.
He leaned back against the tree trunk and looked into her window. He twitched his ears and heard the water running in the bathroom. So that was why she came back, to take a 'proper' bath. She really liked being clean. The water went off and a few moments later she walked into her room wrapped in a towel. She was smiling as she pulled off the towel. Inuyasha blushed but didn't look away. He had seen her naked many times before, though most of the time it was an accident there had been times he looked on purpose. A smile crossed his face at that thought. He was a lot sneakier then Miroku, but even if he did make noise the monk got the blame. Wrinkling his nose, he wondered at what point he had started to look at her as more then a friend. He shrugged it off. Most of the demons they came across saw her as his anyway.
He watched as she dropped the towel on the floor and leaned over her dresser, unknowingly giving him an eyeful. He swallowed; for all his insults, Kagome was beautiful. He watched as she moved to her closet and pulled out a pretty green dress. She held the dress up in front of her and checked herself in the mirror. She nodded her approval and got dressed. Inuyasha made a note to himself to get her to wear that for him somehow. She blew her hair dry and pulled it up in a ponytail with a green ribbon. He frowned. He liked her hair better down, she looked too much like Kikyo with it up.
A new smell reached his nose and he turned to look. At the door was a boy. He growled. What was this boy doing at Kagome's home and what was that he was holding? He sniffed again. Flowers of some kind. The boy reached out a pressed his finger against the doorframe; a ringing followed this. 'Doorbell' Kagome had called it. He glanced to the side in time to see Kagome check herself once more in the mirror and rush from the room. A moment later she appeared at the door. She smiled when the boy gave her the flowers, then he blushed. Inuyasha growled again.
The boy extended his arm to her and she took it. What was she doing? Why would she come all the way back here to spend time with a human male? Was he the friend she was talking about? Why? What could he do? Nothing. He snorted. If she found him here, she would sit him into next week. All he could do was wait…and make her pay for this in sleep, ramen, and chocolate.
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Inuyasha was just dozing off when the pair returned. He glanced up at the moon. It was nearly midnight. What had she been doing all this time? He growled at the thought, then shook it off. She would smell of that if they had done anything. He sniffed just to double check. Yeah, she still smelled like herself. He narrowed his eyes as they stopped on the front porch. The boy blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck. He looked at his feet and muttered something Inuyasha was too far way to hear. Kagome nodded.
What happened next made Inuyasha's heart stop. The boy leaned in and kissed her. Inuyasha nearly leapt from the tree when he saw Kagome respond. His jaw dropped. How could she!? His Kagome was kissing a human male! He was in such shock Inuyasha did the one thing that he couldn't ever remember doing: he fell out of the tree. Even from his new place on the ground he saw Kagome stiffen at the sound. She pulled away and waved the boy off quickly. Inuyasha knew he was in trouble. She was going to catch him and then he'd had it. So he did the only logical thing: he ran.
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Inuyasha was standing next to the well as Kagome crawled out the next morning. He said nothing nor did he help her out. She just sighed and pulled herself over the edge and sat in the grass to rest. True to her word she didn't complain.
"What?" She asked as he continued to stare at her in unnerving silence. He snorted in response.
"You didn't want to stay longer with your 'friend'?" He spat. Kagome raised an eyebrow.
"No. I went on one pity date with Hojo. I'm not going on another. Why were you spying?"
"I wasn't spying! I was going to make sure you weren't going to sneak off to one of those stupid 'tests' and instead I found you kissing some stupid human boy!" Kagome fixed him with a strange look. It wasn't mad, or her 'sit' look, or pity, or sorrow, or any thing else he had ever seen before.
"Why do you care? I'm just a shard detector right?" She asked standing to look at him.
"That's not the point! You went out to…to…to do gods know what with that stupid human and you just want to come back here like nothing happened! How could you?" Inuyasha snapped. Kagome cocked her head.
"I came back after you choose Kikyo… like nothing happened." She said slowly.
"That's different!" He yelled, louder then he intended.
"Is it?" she asked softly.
"Yes! It is!"
"How?" Kagome's voice was still soft, eerily soft.
"It's…It's…" Inuyasha stumbled for a good reason. Kagome wasn't fooled.
"What do you want from me Inuyasha? I came back to you after you choose Kikyo. I said I'd stay by your side, and I will. If you want an apology, however, you will be waiting for a long time. I'm not sorry for kissing Hojo, and I will not apologize. I don't owe you an apology, just like you didn't own me one after you kissed Kikyo. I'm not going to stop seeing guys just to make you happy. Once all the shards are gathered, you aren't going to want me around anymore and then what? I'll go back to my time where most of my friends think I'm dead because I spend so much time here with you." She turned and started walking away. Inuyasha was too thunderstruck to do anything but stare at her. She stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't have any feelings for Hojo. Not like you and Kikyo." With that she walked away.
Inuyasha just sat down in the grass and watched her leave. Of all the things he was expecting, a calm speech wasn't it. Did she really think all those things? Is this what she felt when he choose Kikyo? No wonder she ran off. But she came back…how could she have come back if this is what it felt like. Having your heart wrenched from your chest by some unseen hand. Inuyasha swallowed hard. For the first time since his mother died he felt like crying.
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Kagome had gone to Kaede's hut and said her greetings to everyone. Inuyasha didn't show up. She had shown up about mid-morning and after lunch she stepped out saying she needed air. Now she found herself at one of her favorite thinking spots. It was stump by a stream. It was close enough to the village for anyone to hear her scream but far enough away to give her privacy with her thoughts. The grass around the stump was worn down for all the thinking she had done over the years.
Why had she said all this things to him? She had wanted to say she was sorry. She really didn't feel anything for Hojo. The whole thing brought back the thoughts of Kikyo. She dropped her head onto her knees and sighed. All this to clear her conscious. She wasn't sure when she started to cry, only that she had. She would have given anything to have someone care about her like…like Inuyasha cared for Kikyo. She must have been there a while because a cold wind made her look up to find it was getting dark.
"You're going to catch cold." Inuyasha said softly. Kagome jumped, she hadn't even known he was there.
"Don't care." She replied softly. He dropped his red top over her and sat down next to her on the stump. They lapsed into a long silence.
"Inuyasha I'm…"
"Don't say it. You where right. You don't own me an apology." He paused, "If anything I should be apologizing to you. In all truthfulness I was planing on keeping you up late so I could get the ramen and chocolate." She gave him a dry look, he looked at his feet, "I didn't mean to spy on you." He paused again.
"I'm sorry about what I said at the well. You have every right to want to be with Kikyo and I shouldn't judge that." Kagome said softly. Inuyasha didn't reply. The silence lapsed over them again. Kagome shivered as the wind whipped up again.
"I guess we should go back." She stood. Inuyasha didn't move. She took a step to head back to the village when his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her into his lap and held her tight. She stared to struggle but he only held tighter.
"Kagome, there is something I want to say to you." He pushed her head into the crook of his neck so he wouldn't have to see her expressions. "I don't know if I can do it and I need you to promise not to say a word until I'm finished. Will you do that for me?"
"Yes…" He took a deep breath and licked his lips.
"Sense my mother died I have been all alone. Humans feared me, and demons teased me. I spent most of my life either fighting or hiding. Then I met Kikyo. She was the first being that didn't run from or try to kill me. She was someone to talk to. Some one to be near. But…she was always…cold. She wanted me to become human so she could be normal. She wanted me for what I could be rather then what I was. At the time it seemed so right; to become human and live with someone who cared. Then Naraku happened. Kikyo…the Kikyo I knew died that day. Then you came. Even when I tried to kill you, you didn't hold it against me. You never mentioned that I was half-breed or held what I was against me. You've accepted me in all my forms; hanyou, human, and full demon; it didn't matter to you. When Kikyo came back I felt responsible for what happened to her, that I didn't trust her enough. I want to make it right, make sure she rests in peace. I never meant to hurt you and I never understood how it felt. But…last night when I saw you kissing that boy. I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to kill him, slowly. Kagome…if you are going to leave when the jewel is complete…then I'll shatter it again if it will keep you here. I know I call you names and tell you that your nothing more then a shard detector, but I…I…" his breath hitched, this was it, "I always want to protect you. I want you to always be by my side. Kagome…I want you to be mine…I want you to be my mate." There he said it.
Kagome didn't move. She wasn't sure she was breathing. He had just asked her to be his mate…his wife. What could she say? Here heart hammered against her rib cage. She swallowed. After all this time…
Inuyasha just sat there. She wasn't saying anything. God, why did he say that? Why couldn't he have left it at 'I'm sorry'? No he had to pour his heart out. She was going to laugh at him. How could he ever face her again? Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't sure he could take rejection, not from Kagome.
"Yes…" All the air slammed out of his chest from the breath he didn't know he was holding. He looked down at her with wide eyes. She looked up at him with a shy smile.
"Really…?" was all he could say. She nodded. A huge smile spread across his face. He jumped up and spun her around as she squealed in delight. He tossed her in the air and caught her before planting a passionate kiss on her lips. They parted and he took off for the village, Kagome still in his arms.
"Where are we going?" she asked, holding tightly to his neck as he leapt over the trees.
"To find Miroku." He answered shortly, "He's going to marry us tonight, then I'll make you mine in a more demon way." Kagome blushed and Inuyasha chuckled as the pair disappeared into the night.
