Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas or the Mary-Sues. Legolas belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Mary-Sues belong to those who are disturbed enough to create them. ^_^
*d~ is a musical note. :)
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Sadly, all good things must come to an end,
Including this lovely little poem, my friend.
Not yet, though, cuz we still have one more plan to deploy,
For we still have some Mary-Sue scum to destroy.
d~ "Mary-Sue scum…Mary-Sue scum…we still have some Mary-Sue scum to destroy" d~
In chimed the boss, "Although that little chorus I immensely enjoyed,
Must I remind you about this little plan that need be deployed?
And, with the deployment of this plan, we must quickly make haste,
For we have not even a second to waste.
So, come one, come all, and join in the fun…
Join in the fun as we dance under the sun!"
Noticing the strange looks he was getting by the end of his speech,
The boss, suddenly flush with embarrassment, cleared his throat with a screech.
Why a screech, you might suddenly enquire.
Would it suffice to say that it's what I desire?
What I mean to say is what everybody knows,
That I am the author and what I say goes.
The boss lets out another loud screech,
Signaling the end of my interruptions to his speech.
"Just scratch out the last two lines, okay?
I guess I just got carried away.
'My loyal followers, with me you must come,
And join me in destroying some Mary-Sue scum!'"
His revised speech was met with much applause,
As his cronies were determined to stand by their boss.
"Let's go destroy some Mary-Sue scum!" Krazy Writer, one of his cronies, exclaimed.
"You're not the boss here. I AM!" the dark headless boss angrily proclaimed.
"I-I was j-just trying to r-rile them up", fearfully, she stuttered.
"Foolish girl", under his breath, the dark headless boss muttered.
"Alright, just don't let it happen again", he gently admonished.
His soft tone of voice left all of his followers extremely astonished.
"Well? What are you guys just standing there for?!
Let's go destroy those Mary-Sue scum we oh-so-abhor!"
With a gleeful cry, he led his followers to their destination,
Excitement mounting in anticipation of some Mary-Sue annihilation
Meanwhile, in another part of town, the Mary-Sues were sensing their imminent doom.
The first thought that came up was what should be written on each of their tomb.
One of them suggested for hers, "Here lies the oh-so-perfect Mary-Sue",
And soon a fight broke out, for each of them wanted theirs to say the same thing, too.
This was the situation their soon-to-be assassinators came upon.
Amused beyond belief, every one of them urged the Mary-Sues to carry on.
And so the fighting continued for quite awhile,
Until the boss thought it no longer worthwhile.
"I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!" the dark headless boss bellowed.
Immediately, they all froze and the mood quickly mellowed.
Suddenly realizing the dire situation they were in,
All the Mary-Sues began to wail, much to their opponents' chagrin.
A deadly wail it was; a deadly wail it be.
The dark headless boss found it too deadly a wail for he.
Down went the boss, quickly followed by his cronies.
The Mary-Sues ceased their wailing and started celebrating the death of these phonies.
Or at least that's how the Mary-Sues expected it to have gone,
Leaving the rest of us to wonder what drugs they had been on.
Clearly, luck was not to be on their side,
For, as soon as their opponents showed up, from fright they had died.
The boss and his cronies looked upon the scene with delight,
As they took in before them the marvelous sight.
For, you see, right before their untimely demise,
The Mary-Sues shriveled up right before their eyes.
Horridly ugly the Mary-Sues had become,
And this had frightened them so much that to their death they did succumb.
Getting over their shock, the boss and his henchpeople cried out with glee,
And they promptly started celebrating their remarkable victory.
They had fun dancing under the sun all day long,
While they clapped and they sang this jolly good song.
d~ "Legolas, you're dead. Mary-Sues, now y'all are, too.
Why is this so? Cuz we have killed you!
And to this, we proudly yell, 'Woo-hoo!'
Yes, to this, we scream and shout, 'Woo-hoo!'" d~
So that brings us to the end of this little rhyme,
And I'm very sad to say that there will be no next time.
Yes, I'm so sad to say that there's not gonna be a next time.
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A/N: Hey, everyone! I hope you enjoyed the very last chapter of this rhyme! I know I did!!! :) Also, Krazy Writer, I hope you enjoyed being in my rhyme! I even gave you two lines! :) And I'd like to thank everyone who read my rhyme and everyone who reviewed! All your reviews mean so much to me!!! ^_^
The Legolas Assassinator: Do I get to escape from you now since I wrote more? Hehe ^_^ And I really hope you liked this portion of the rhyme. Legolas and Mary-Sue bashing in the same rhyme? Well, I like it! Tee-hee :P And I love your Legolas torture website. And I can't wait for more updates and I wish you get more flames! :) Thanx so much for all your reviews! :)
NObOdY: Hehe :) I definitely understand your luv for character death! Except that, really, I just love Legolas death, and Mary-Sue death, of course! Tee-hee :) Thanx for the review, though! I very much appreciate it! :)
Lady of the Dark: Go ahead and make a website for people who hate Legolas haters. I ain't stopping you. Unlike you, I believe in freedom of speech. But, on a lighter note, thank you for your review! :)
Aeryn Tucker: You really thought it was that hilarious? Well, spank me silly. Tee-hee :P Actually, don't. But I am very happy to know that I am bleepin' hilarious! :) Thanks, thanks, and super thanks for your review!!! :)
Die Bush: Yes, I agree. I hate Bush, too. What I didn't appreciate was his comment about America going to hell. I think that was very uncalled for. But thanx for your review and for telling me your opinion. I'm really glad you liked my poem! :)
Lady-of-Lorien: Exactly! Legolas is insignificant to the story! Go you for writing a lego-bashing fic!!! Yes, we lego-haters must stick together! I don't know how many times I've said that. Tee-hee :) Well, thank you so much for your review. And don't worry about those annoying fangirls who flame you. You should be proud of yourself for getting them so riled up. I would! Tee-hee :)
Aragorn the hope: Can't wait to read your updates and new fics! ^_^ Stupid fanfic.net for kicking you off your account!
Avensis: Oh, I know what you mean! I hate those unjustified pathetic flamers, too. Love the flames, though. Tee-hee :) But I understand what you're saying about the variety thing. But the reason I set up this account was to bash Leggy. But I do have fics that are not Leggy bashing. I have an original fic and I have a Pippin fic now, too, except that it has Legolas humiliation, so… but the first chapter is really about Pippin! :) But I'm really glad you think my poem is well-written and very amusing. Yes, your review made me very happy! :)
Yeah: Oh, no, you di'n't! I know you did not just say that to my face! Oh, wait…you didn't. Tee-hee :P Just kidding! I ain't mad. Really, I'm not! :) I really enjoyed reading your review. It gave me a laugh. I mean, you beat me up? I don't think so! Tee-hee :) Thanx for the review! :)
Zee: Yeah, well…that's Legolas for ya. Tee-hee :) I'm sorry that it wasn't death of fangirls. I mean, I couldn't kill them since they're real people and all. But I hope you enjoyed the death of the Mary-Sues! :) Thanx for all your reviews! :)
Lady Laura: *blush* Oh, my… you really love my poem that much? WOW! I'm just so…so…honored! :) Thanx SO much for your review! And I just love lego-bashing, too! :)
Krazy Writer: Yes, I was happy bout Leggy dying, too! And I hope you're as happy about the Mary-Sue dying as much as I am! :) And I hope you enjoyed being in the last chapter of my rhyme! :) I'll definitely watch out for more of your lego/mary-sue bashing fics! :)
Orlinbloom: Hmm…well, actually, I wasn't trashing about you. I was trashing about Legolas. Okay, so I was trashing about the movie portrayal of Legolas, but still… :)
Aragorns_baby: Hey! How am I a rabid fangirl? I mean, that's really insulting! Tee-hee :) And bounce away to ur mama? Hmm…riiiiggghhhttt… Well, thanx for your review. It did make me laugh. Yes, it made me laugh a lot! :)
Selendrile: Hmm…your poem seems interesting. I think I will read it! And thanx for reading and reviewing my rhyme! I really appreciate it! :)
Lady of the Dark (your second comment): I have to say that your comment is really clever. I mean it! It was really funny, too, man! So thanx so much for your review! It was truly entertaining! :)
None: I wholeheartedly agree with you! :)
Braindead bunny: Sexy? Really? Tee-hee :P But, thanx for your review and defending me! I'm really glad you loved my rhyme! :)