Disclaimer: We own shit all.
Ryan: ( running to get Mike back ) I hope I'm not too late.
Mike: ( mad like hell ) If you don't take your hands off my d**k I will kick your @$$!
Ryan: DIE YOU MUTHA F***AS!!!!!(starts wasting 'em, blowing off the top half of lawyer's heads and putting holes through their torsos)
Mike: (picks up an M93R) Teach you to grope my crotch!
Together the two mercilessly mow down the poorly armed and trained forces with lethal precision, Ryan tearing limbs and crushing skulls with dual D.E.A.E. (Desert Eagle Action Express) while Mike punctured vital arteries with cold indifference. Their foes massacred, the two turned and began their journey home.
Their silence is short lived, as they are confronted by an armed force. "Did you really expect to survive, claiming ownership of a man who is clearly the property of Konami?" the head of the mercenary corps inquired. His response was a brisk chuckle, the two, seemingly unaware of the danger, exchanged items. Mike was given a key chain, a symbol sewn into it, and a stealth module was given to Ryan.
In a single cold movement, Ryan drew a Japanese katana from it's sheath, his eagles already discarded. Mike merely threw the key chain over his head and tucked it into his shirt. Without another word spoken, the battle began.
Ryan immediately activated the stealth and launched himself into their ranks, katana flashing he hewed limbs and split sternums. His foes fell by the throng, those still living screaming in agony, before the end. The corps began to fire immediately, their guns pouring out hot rounds, none of which found their marks. The youth's small handgun continually sprayed an endless supply of full metal jacketed rounds, and a large serrated combat knife tearing out throats, abdomens and arteries. The ghost like Ryan sped between rounds and showed no mercy. He dashed past a man, whom simply stood numbly, a look of shock on his face, moments before every main artery on his body split open, spraying his precious lifeblood onto all before him. Many men fell before his eyes, all of them, save one youth and a ghost. The youth walked before him, heedless of the spray of blood, and put a slug through his skull, as he had with so many of his comrades...
Slowly the youth turned 360degrees and made one remark.
Mike: This disclaimer was SWEET!!!!
Chapter 4
Taking Code Names, Taking Lives
Quote of the chapter: I'd talk about her hot ass, but she can hear everything I say!
FOX-HOUND HQ
The sun was high in the sky, and FOX-HOUND was high off it's ass!
Naomi: AAAAHHH!!!
Mike: (snapping awake, with a BIG and I mean HUGE head age) What the Hell is going on?!
Naomi: Ryan's head is on my tits!
Fox: You see, she does mind.
Ryan:(still groggy) Go to Hell Fox, my head still aches.
Snake: Clearly not from sleeping habits.
Ryan: I thought they were pillows! They're so big and soft!
Naomi: (bitch slaps Ryan and walks out)
Fox: Moron! (Does a punch-punch-kick combo)
Mike: Who the Hell do you think he is, Raiden? On a separate note, why the Hell are Hal&Emma on my bed?
Snake: In the same bed?! (rushes over and checks it out)
Mike: First your mom-
Ryan:(finishing Mike's sentence) -then your sister?!
Fox: You sick bastard! I would never touch Naomi like that!!
Otacon: It's not what you think!
E.E.: Yeah, he only stuck it up the butt!
Snake: That's disgusting! How can you live with yourself, you lucky bastard!!
Papes:(making his way downstairs, while reading his paper) I think she's the lucky one!
Mike: You sick son of a b***h!
Naomi: (runs downstairs) Quiet, Mikey and Mei-Ling are still asleep!
Fox:(smiles) I got a plan!!
20minutes later
Mei-Ling:(wakes up): What the Hell? Why am I naked, and cuffed to...MIKEY!!!!!
Mikey: (wakes up) WOAH! (smiles)Give into it!
Mei-Ling: Don't you mean get onto it?
Mikey: Leaving me to my own devices... how trusting of you.
Mei-Ling: HEEELLP!!!
Downstairs
Everyone: (laughing off their asses)
Mike: Fox, you da man!!
Ryan: You cuffed them at the hands and the feet!!
Snake: I wonder how long before she kills him?
Fox: $500 says 5min!
Naomi: Deal!
Mei-Ling:(running downstairs, still cuffed to Mikey) Get him OFF!!!
Naomi: Alright.
Fox: Why the Hell are you going to detach them?!
Naomi: I get $500!
Fox: DAMN!!
Snake: Loser.
Fox: Go to Hell.
Mike: Hey! (grabs their attention) Me, Ryan, Papes and Mikey need code names! I'm freaking annoyed by you guys having cool names!
Mikey:(free and dressed) Of course...
Ryan: Solid Cobra!
Snake: Sweet name!
Mike: Gray Gecko!
Fox: Nice name, but wouldn't Gray Pig be better?
Mike: Fick off!
Papes:(pulls out a paper) I find this action unnecessary.
Mikey: Solitary Tyrant.
Gecko: Then it is done.
Cobra: I feel so much cooler.
Tyrant: Alas, poor Nupraptor, I knew him well. Well not really...
Gecko:(to Tyrant) You're a Goddamn psycho.
Mei-Ling: I'll record your mission data!
Fox: No shit.
Suddenly the uni-codec beeps
Everyone:(drops onto their knee's)
Mike: This is Gecko.
Mikey: Tyrant here.
Ryan: Cobra.
Snake: Snake here, whaddya want?
Fox: WASSUP!!!
Bush: Terrorists have taken over the inter-dimensional portal 43675321!
Gecko: Which is..?
Bush: Evil Clone Land!
Cobra: Ah crud!
Snake: Get us a chopper and we're there!
Bush: I was gonna send you a couple mach3 fighters, but a plan is a plan!
Everyone: (gives Snake a death glare)
Snake:(ducks his head in shame)
123min later
Gecko: We'll split into groups. Me W/Snake, Cobra W/Fox and Tyrant W/Papes.
Snake: Deal.
Gecko and Snake slink off into the shadows, sneaking deeper into the base. They soon discover soldiers patrolling the grounds. French soldiers.
Soldier1: Le boss says dat a bunch of Americans weel try to stop our operation.
2: It does not matteur, zey shall fall before our might!
Gecko, making no more noise than a cat treading carefully, sneaks up behind #1 and grabs him, then throws him into #2. Snake dives out of the shadows and holds them up.
Snake: Freeze!
#1: Do not shoot!
Gecko:(searches him and finds a couple of card-1s) Score!
Snake: Can I shoot him?
#2's Radio: Why do you not answer? We shall send a search party!
Gecko: I have a plan.(he proceeds to knock the out and set a few Claymores)
Snake: Let's go!(they run off)
A bunch of guards run in and set them off
Guard:(laying on the ground) Oh no, my interns are more choppy dan Scottish pasta!
Gecko:(runs up to Soldier1) I, AM, CANADIAN!
Snake: Good for you fatty.
Gecko: Ah, come on!(codec goes off) Gecko.
Mei-Ling: I didn't know you're Canadian.
Gecko: How did you hear me?
Mei-Ling: I hear everything you say.
Gecko:(think's of all the time he spent talking macho into the mirror and turns red)
Mei-Ling: Don't worry, you're 'secret identity' is safe with me 'Mr. Iron Butt'.
Gecko: Shit...
Meanwhile Cobra and Fox are still sneaking around
Cobra:( dashes up behind a guard cuts his head off ) ( starts to giggle ) He'll never be head of a major organization.
Fox: (sarcastically) Hahahaha you're so damn funny.
Cobra:( all excited ) You know my mom always said I had a sense of humor!
Fox:(face vaults).
Naomi: (over the codec) Guys, the hospital called, they told me to pick up my bitch.
Cobra: Must mean Raiden. Tell them he'll suck 'em off for a buck.
Fox: No shit.
Voice: Keep diggin.
Voice2: Real smart.
Voice: Shut up.
Fox: That sounds just like...
Cobra: Us?
Evil Fox:(is in his exoskeleton) Time to die.
Evil Cobra: Bitch.
Fox: You one dead mofo!
E.Fox: Catch me!(leaps up onto another floor)
Fox: (chases him) I'm gonna slice yo ass!
E.Cobra: That leaves us.
Cobra: I'm gonna bitch slap your goatee off.
E.Cobra: Bring it on!(swings at Ryan)
Cobra: Ha!(deflects it and kick him in the nuts)
E.Cobra: Ouchie!(blocks another one, then gets sliced)
Cobra: Hyawaha!!(slices twice more then kicks him in the nuts again and pokes him in the eyes)
E.Cobra: Holy Mac you're good!
Cobra: Yup! (slices off his balls)
E.Cobra: Freaking hurty!(explodes)
Cobra: (covered in guts) That was totally fucked up!
Up a floor
Fox: *I'm getting my ass kicked!* (blocks a few swings)
E.Fox: You cannot defeat me.
Fox: Oh Yeah? (pulls out a water bottle)
E.Fox: Oh shit!
Fox: Die! (squirts him)
E.Fox: No!(does the macarena, spins three times, clucks like a chicken and scratches his head.)
Fox: Well?
Narrator: Huh? Oh yeah!
E.Fox: (explodes)
Fox: I got a lot of guts. At least its more embarrassing then getting crushed.
Meanwhile
Tyrant: You missed it! We already killed the clones!
Papes: (pulls paper out) They stole our fight!
Narrator: Eh, no one likes you any ways.
Tyrant: Hey!
Meanwhile
Gecko: Die you mullet owning clone!
E.Gecko: You can't beat me.
Gecko: Oh yeah? (pulls out a pair of scissors)
E.Gecko: Shit! (starts to run)
Gecko: (catches him by the mullet and cuts it off)
E.Gecko: It cannot be!(explodes)
Gecko: (looks around to make sure no one is around, picks the liver up an takes a bite) Ooh, juicy!
Snake: I want my freaking bandana back!
E.Snake: Take it! (turns and runs)
Snake: (steps on his bandana, puling it off)
E.Snake: (turns, sheds a single tear and explodes)
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear!
Gecko: ( covered in blood & guts ) So Cobra how was your fight.
Cobra: I beat my twin by cutting his balls off. And you?
Gecko: I cut his freaking mullet off.
Fox: (to Snake) how about you?
Snake: Well, I pulled off his bandana. And you?
Fox: At first I was getting my @$$ kicked, then I squirted him with a bottle of water.
Tyrant: well, I-
Snake: Shut up!
Papes:(starts to pull out a peace of paper but then changes his mind)
Suddenly a door they thought was a wall opens.
Fox: Ain't that inviting.
Gecko: (getting annoyed) Shut up, Fox.
Tyrant: Yeah and take off those guts well you're at it!
Gecko:( looks around) Hey where's Cobra?
Everyone looks into the doorway and spot Cobra playing with sword as he walks down the hallway and accidently slices his fingers off.
Cobra: FRAK!!(uses a ration and grows his fingers back. Woo-hoo)
Everyone: Wait up!!! (they all catch up with Cobra)
Gecko:(shudders) This place give me the creeps.
Cobra: Gecko, your face gives me the creeps ( shudders ).
Snake: (pissed off) Shut the Hell up!
Cobra: Bring it on Snake!
Tyrant:( feeling confident ) I can take you all on!
Everyone: Shut the Hell up, Mikey!
Tyrant:( disappointed voice ) Ok.
They approach a door and it automatically opens, they walk in and Gecko notices a figure from his past.
Gecko: Tiggs!
Sure enough, sat upon a throne, is his cat Tigger!
Gecko: (notices the cat's goatee) No...NNOOOO!!!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow!(subtitles read:'welcome to your dooms, pathetic mortals')
Fox: A cat with a goatee? Now that's freaky!
Cobra: Not as freaky as Gecko's face.
Fox: No, but freaky nonetheless!
Snake: Damn right!
Tyrant: Yeah!
Snake: Shut up!
Tyrant: (starts to tear up)
E.Tiggs: (Tears off Papes head)
Cobra: PAPES!!
Gecko: Tiggs, I will not give up!(kicks the cat through the window) Hey, that was easy! (looks at Papes) That guy must've been really fruity if she killed him!
The sound of engines drown them out. A large jumbo jet rises from the chasm.
E.Tiggs: Meow!(die)
Cobra: Vengeance! (spears Papes' head with his katana and flicks it at the jet)
Papes's Head: POOPY!! (slams into the jet and causes it to explode)
From the smoke comes a Harrier2, piloted by Evil Tiggs
E.Tiggs:(opens fire)
Fox: Ha! (Tries to deflect the shots, but busts his sword in half) (incredibly high pitched voice) WAAAH!!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow meow!(I shall return! Meow meow meow!)
Everyone: Hell yeah!
Fox: Let's get drunk!
Everyone: Hell yeah!
Random bar
Mike: I mean huge! They're like bigger than her head.
Fox: You keep talking about my sister's tits, I'm gonna shove what's left of my sword up your ass!
Mikey: I'm not so think as you drunk I am!(passes out)
Snake: Fruit.
Ryan: How 'bout that Ling chick?
Mike: I'd talk about her hot ass, but she can hear everything I say!
Fox: Yeah, chicks with hot asses can do that!
Snake: I know! Once on Shadow Moses she said if I was her boyfriend she would monitor me 24/7!
Ryan: Freaky!
Mike: Not as freaky as my face!
Fox: Amen to that.
Snake: How 'bout we all pass out?
Everyone: Hell yeah! (Pass out)
The next morning, back in HQ
Naomi: WAKE UP, WE HAVE A JOB OFFER!
Mike:(wakes up)I'll get it. (walks upsatirs mumbling)
Naomi: He's at the front desk.
Mike: We have a front desk?!
Naomi: Just do it.
Mike:(sighs) Fine, I'll do it!
A the front desk is none other than Liquid Snake, sure he doodled on his face to make it look like he had a mustache, but it was obviously Liquid.
Mike: Survived the fall, eh?
Liquid: How'd you recognise me?!
Mike: 1st, the dogtags.
Liquid: Ah.
Mike: 2nd, that marker is a dead give away.
Liquid: HA! It's pen, not marker!
Mike: Great.
Liquid: Can I join?
Mike: Do you have any experiance?
Liquid: I headed the Shadow Moses revolution.
Mike: Oh yeah... Hang on I'll ask. HEY SNAKE, CAN LIQUID JOIN?!
Snake: Fat chance!
Mike: What did he say?
Liquid: He said damn strait.
Mike: Welcome abord!(shakes his hand)
Liquid: Sucker..!
Mike: What didja say?
Liquid: Nothing.
Author's note: Not much to say. Long live massacres! Screw X-Box!
Closing remarks: Killed off a friend, got some code names. This was fun to wright, but I got writer's block halfway through, so the middle sucks. Next chapter will have Snake smoking.
Send reviews, suggestions and enjoy. P.S. We listen to korn while we write.
SCREW X-BOX!!
Thank you Stefanie! Liquid is in!
Next Episode:
Snake Boarding! A.K.A. The Return of the Cat
Ryan: ( running to get Mike back ) I hope I'm not too late.
Mike: ( mad like hell ) If you don't take your hands off my d**k I will kick your @$$!
Ryan: DIE YOU MUTHA F***AS!!!!!(starts wasting 'em, blowing off the top half of lawyer's heads and putting holes through their torsos)
Mike: (picks up an M93R) Teach you to grope my crotch!
Together the two mercilessly mow down the poorly armed and trained forces with lethal precision, Ryan tearing limbs and crushing skulls with dual D.E.A.E. (Desert Eagle Action Express) while Mike punctured vital arteries with cold indifference. Their foes massacred, the two turned and began their journey home.
Their silence is short lived, as they are confronted by an armed force. "Did you really expect to survive, claiming ownership of a man who is clearly the property of Konami?" the head of the mercenary corps inquired. His response was a brisk chuckle, the two, seemingly unaware of the danger, exchanged items. Mike was given a key chain, a symbol sewn into it, and a stealth module was given to Ryan.
In a single cold movement, Ryan drew a Japanese katana from it's sheath, his eagles already discarded. Mike merely threw the key chain over his head and tucked it into his shirt. Without another word spoken, the battle began.
Ryan immediately activated the stealth and launched himself into their ranks, katana flashing he hewed limbs and split sternums. His foes fell by the throng, those still living screaming in agony, before the end. The corps began to fire immediately, their guns pouring out hot rounds, none of which found their marks. The youth's small handgun continually sprayed an endless supply of full metal jacketed rounds, and a large serrated combat knife tearing out throats, abdomens and arteries. The ghost like Ryan sped between rounds and showed no mercy. He dashed past a man, whom simply stood numbly, a look of shock on his face, moments before every main artery on his body split open, spraying his precious lifeblood onto all before him. Many men fell before his eyes, all of them, save one youth and a ghost. The youth walked before him, heedless of the spray of blood, and put a slug through his skull, as he had with so many of his comrades...
Slowly the youth turned 360degrees and made one remark.
Mike: This disclaimer was SWEET!!!!
Chapter 4
Taking Code Names, Taking Lives
Quote of the chapter: I'd talk about her hot ass, but she can hear everything I say!
FOX-HOUND HQ
The sun was high in the sky, and FOX-HOUND was high off it's ass!
Naomi: AAAAHHH!!!
Mike: (snapping awake, with a BIG and I mean HUGE head age) What the Hell is going on?!
Naomi: Ryan's head is on my tits!
Fox: You see, she does mind.
Ryan:(still groggy) Go to Hell Fox, my head still aches.
Snake: Clearly not from sleeping habits.
Ryan: I thought they were pillows! They're so big and soft!
Naomi: (bitch slaps Ryan and walks out)
Fox: Moron! (Does a punch-punch-kick combo)
Mike: Who the Hell do you think he is, Raiden? On a separate note, why the Hell are Hal&Emma on my bed?
Snake: In the same bed?! (rushes over and checks it out)
Mike: First your mom-
Ryan:(finishing Mike's sentence) -then your sister?!
Fox: You sick bastard! I would never touch Naomi like that!!
Otacon: It's not what you think!
E.E.: Yeah, he only stuck it up the butt!
Snake: That's disgusting! How can you live with yourself, you lucky bastard!!
Papes:(making his way downstairs, while reading his paper) I think she's the lucky one!
Mike: You sick son of a b***h!
Naomi: (runs downstairs) Quiet, Mikey and Mei-Ling are still asleep!
Fox:(smiles) I got a plan!!
20minutes later
Mei-Ling:(wakes up): What the Hell? Why am I naked, and cuffed to...MIKEY!!!!!
Mikey: (wakes up) WOAH! (smiles)Give into it!
Mei-Ling: Don't you mean get onto it?
Mikey: Leaving me to my own devices... how trusting of you.
Mei-Ling: HEEELLP!!!
Downstairs
Everyone: (laughing off their asses)
Mike: Fox, you da man!!
Ryan: You cuffed them at the hands and the feet!!
Snake: I wonder how long before she kills him?
Fox: $500 says 5min!
Naomi: Deal!
Mei-Ling:(running downstairs, still cuffed to Mikey) Get him OFF!!!
Naomi: Alright.
Fox: Why the Hell are you going to detach them?!
Naomi: I get $500!
Fox: DAMN!!
Snake: Loser.
Fox: Go to Hell.
Mike: Hey! (grabs their attention) Me, Ryan, Papes and Mikey need code names! I'm freaking annoyed by you guys having cool names!
Mikey:(free and dressed) Of course...
Ryan: Solid Cobra!
Snake: Sweet name!
Mike: Gray Gecko!
Fox: Nice name, but wouldn't Gray Pig be better?
Mike: Fick off!
Papes:(pulls out a paper) I find this action unnecessary.
Mikey: Solitary Tyrant.
Gecko: Then it is done.
Cobra: I feel so much cooler.
Tyrant: Alas, poor Nupraptor, I knew him well. Well not really...
Gecko:(to Tyrant) You're a Goddamn psycho.
Mei-Ling: I'll record your mission data!
Fox: No shit.
Suddenly the uni-codec beeps
Everyone:(drops onto their knee's)
Mike: This is Gecko.
Mikey: Tyrant here.
Ryan: Cobra.
Snake: Snake here, whaddya want?
Fox: WASSUP!!!
Bush: Terrorists have taken over the inter-dimensional portal 43675321!
Gecko: Which is..?
Bush: Evil Clone Land!
Cobra: Ah crud!
Snake: Get us a chopper and we're there!
Bush: I was gonna send you a couple mach3 fighters, but a plan is a plan!
Everyone: (gives Snake a death glare)
Snake:(ducks his head in shame)
123min later
Gecko: We'll split into groups. Me W/Snake, Cobra W/Fox and Tyrant W/Papes.
Snake: Deal.
Gecko and Snake slink off into the shadows, sneaking deeper into the base. They soon discover soldiers patrolling the grounds. French soldiers.
Soldier1: Le boss says dat a bunch of Americans weel try to stop our operation.
2: It does not matteur, zey shall fall before our might!
Gecko, making no more noise than a cat treading carefully, sneaks up behind #1 and grabs him, then throws him into #2. Snake dives out of the shadows and holds them up.
Snake: Freeze!
#1: Do not shoot!
Gecko:(searches him and finds a couple of card-1s) Score!
Snake: Can I shoot him?
#2's Radio: Why do you not answer? We shall send a search party!
Gecko: I have a plan.(he proceeds to knock the out and set a few Claymores)
Snake: Let's go!(they run off)
A bunch of guards run in and set them off
Guard:(laying on the ground) Oh no, my interns are more choppy dan Scottish pasta!
Gecko:(runs up to Soldier1) I, AM, CANADIAN!
Snake: Good for you fatty.
Gecko: Ah, come on!(codec goes off) Gecko.
Mei-Ling: I didn't know you're Canadian.
Gecko: How did you hear me?
Mei-Ling: I hear everything you say.
Gecko:(think's of all the time he spent talking macho into the mirror and turns red)
Mei-Ling: Don't worry, you're 'secret identity' is safe with me 'Mr. Iron Butt'.
Gecko: Shit...
Meanwhile Cobra and Fox are still sneaking around
Cobra:( dashes up behind a guard cuts his head off ) ( starts to giggle ) He'll never be head of a major organization.
Fox: (sarcastically) Hahahaha you're so damn funny.
Cobra:( all excited ) You know my mom always said I had a sense of humor!
Fox:(face vaults).
Naomi: (over the codec) Guys, the hospital called, they told me to pick up my bitch.
Cobra: Must mean Raiden. Tell them he'll suck 'em off for a buck.
Fox: No shit.
Voice: Keep diggin.
Voice2: Real smart.
Voice: Shut up.
Fox: That sounds just like...
Cobra: Us?
Evil Fox:(is in his exoskeleton) Time to die.
Evil Cobra: Bitch.
Fox: You one dead mofo!
E.Fox: Catch me!(leaps up onto another floor)
Fox: (chases him) I'm gonna slice yo ass!
E.Cobra: That leaves us.
Cobra: I'm gonna bitch slap your goatee off.
E.Cobra: Bring it on!(swings at Ryan)
Cobra: Ha!(deflects it and kick him in the nuts)
E.Cobra: Ouchie!(blocks another one, then gets sliced)
Cobra: Hyawaha!!(slices twice more then kicks him in the nuts again and pokes him in the eyes)
E.Cobra: Holy Mac you're good!
Cobra: Yup! (slices off his balls)
E.Cobra: Freaking hurty!(explodes)
Cobra: (covered in guts) That was totally fucked up!
Up a floor
Fox: *I'm getting my ass kicked!* (blocks a few swings)
E.Fox: You cannot defeat me.
Fox: Oh Yeah? (pulls out a water bottle)
E.Fox: Oh shit!
Fox: Die! (squirts him)
E.Fox: No!(does the macarena, spins three times, clucks like a chicken and scratches his head.)
Fox: Well?
Narrator: Huh? Oh yeah!
E.Fox: (explodes)
Fox: I got a lot of guts. At least its more embarrassing then getting crushed.
Meanwhile
Tyrant: You missed it! We already killed the clones!
Papes: (pulls paper out) They stole our fight!
Narrator: Eh, no one likes you any ways.
Tyrant: Hey!
Meanwhile
Gecko: Die you mullet owning clone!
E.Gecko: You can't beat me.
Gecko: Oh yeah? (pulls out a pair of scissors)
E.Gecko: Shit! (starts to run)
Gecko: (catches him by the mullet and cuts it off)
E.Gecko: It cannot be!(explodes)
Gecko: (looks around to make sure no one is around, picks the liver up an takes a bite) Ooh, juicy!
Snake: I want my freaking bandana back!
E.Snake: Take it! (turns and runs)
Snake: (steps on his bandana, puling it off)
E.Snake: (turns, sheds a single tear and explodes)
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear!
Gecko: ( covered in blood & guts ) So Cobra how was your fight.
Cobra: I beat my twin by cutting his balls off. And you?
Gecko: I cut his freaking mullet off.
Fox: (to Snake) how about you?
Snake: Well, I pulled off his bandana. And you?
Fox: At first I was getting my @$$ kicked, then I squirted him with a bottle of water.
Tyrant: well, I-
Snake: Shut up!
Papes:(starts to pull out a peace of paper but then changes his mind)
Suddenly a door they thought was a wall opens.
Fox: Ain't that inviting.
Gecko: (getting annoyed) Shut up, Fox.
Tyrant: Yeah and take off those guts well you're at it!
Gecko:( looks around) Hey where's Cobra?
Everyone looks into the doorway and spot Cobra playing with sword as he walks down the hallway and accidently slices his fingers off.
Cobra: FRAK!!(uses a ration and grows his fingers back. Woo-hoo)
Everyone: Wait up!!! (they all catch up with Cobra)
Gecko:(shudders) This place give me the creeps.
Cobra: Gecko, your face gives me the creeps ( shudders ).
Snake: (pissed off) Shut the Hell up!
Cobra: Bring it on Snake!
Tyrant:( feeling confident ) I can take you all on!
Everyone: Shut the Hell up, Mikey!
Tyrant:( disappointed voice ) Ok.
They approach a door and it automatically opens, they walk in and Gecko notices a figure from his past.
Gecko: Tiggs!
Sure enough, sat upon a throne, is his cat Tigger!
Gecko: (notices the cat's goatee) No...NNOOOO!!!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow!(subtitles read:'welcome to your dooms, pathetic mortals')
Fox: A cat with a goatee? Now that's freaky!
Cobra: Not as freaky as Gecko's face.
Fox: No, but freaky nonetheless!
Snake: Damn right!
Tyrant: Yeah!
Snake: Shut up!
Tyrant: (starts to tear up)
E.Tiggs: (Tears off Papes head)
Cobra: PAPES!!
Gecko: Tiggs, I will not give up!(kicks the cat through the window) Hey, that was easy! (looks at Papes) That guy must've been really fruity if she killed him!
The sound of engines drown them out. A large jumbo jet rises from the chasm.
E.Tiggs: Meow!(die)
Cobra: Vengeance! (spears Papes' head with his katana and flicks it at the jet)
Papes's Head: POOPY!! (slams into the jet and causes it to explode)
From the smoke comes a Harrier2, piloted by Evil Tiggs
E.Tiggs:(opens fire)
Fox: Ha! (Tries to deflect the shots, but busts his sword in half) (incredibly high pitched voice) WAAAH!!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow meow!(I shall return! Meow meow meow!)
Everyone: Hell yeah!
Fox: Let's get drunk!
Everyone: Hell yeah!
Random bar
Mike: I mean huge! They're like bigger than her head.
Fox: You keep talking about my sister's tits, I'm gonna shove what's left of my sword up your ass!
Mikey: I'm not so think as you drunk I am!(passes out)
Snake: Fruit.
Ryan: How 'bout that Ling chick?
Mike: I'd talk about her hot ass, but she can hear everything I say!
Fox: Yeah, chicks with hot asses can do that!
Snake: I know! Once on Shadow Moses she said if I was her boyfriend she would monitor me 24/7!
Ryan: Freaky!
Mike: Not as freaky as my face!
Fox: Amen to that.
Snake: How 'bout we all pass out?
Everyone: Hell yeah! (Pass out)
The next morning, back in HQ
Naomi: WAKE UP, WE HAVE A JOB OFFER!
Mike:(wakes up)I'll get it. (walks upsatirs mumbling)
Naomi: He's at the front desk.
Mike: We have a front desk?!
Naomi: Just do it.
Mike:(sighs) Fine, I'll do it!
A the front desk is none other than Liquid Snake, sure he doodled on his face to make it look like he had a mustache, but it was obviously Liquid.
Mike: Survived the fall, eh?
Liquid: How'd you recognise me?!
Mike: 1st, the dogtags.
Liquid: Ah.
Mike: 2nd, that marker is a dead give away.
Liquid: HA! It's pen, not marker!
Mike: Great.
Liquid: Can I join?
Mike: Do you have any experiance?
Liquid: I headed the Shadow Moses revolution.
Mike: Oh yeah... Hang on I'll ask. HEY SNAKE, CAN LIQUID JOIN?!
Snake: Fat chance!
Mike: What did he say?
Liquid: He said damn strait.
Mike: Welcome abord!(shakes his hand)
Liquid: Sucker..!
Mike: What didja say?
Liquid: Nothing.
Author's note: Not much to say. Long live massacres! Screw X-Box!
Closing remarks: Killed off a friend, got some code names. This was fun to wright, but I got writer's block halfway through, so the middle sucks. Next chapter will have Snake smoking.
Send reviews, suggestions and enjoy. P.S. We listen to korn while we write.
SCREW X-BOX!!
Thank you Stefanie! Liquid is in!
Next Episode:
Snake Boarding! A.K.A. The Return of the Cat