Disclaimer: We own nothing but a pair of socks and a picture of us.
Mike:(reads the disclaimer) This disclaimer was crap!
Chapter 5: Snake Boarding! A.K.A. The Return of the Cat
Quote of the Chapter: You ma bitch now! HAHAHAHA!
FOX-HOUND HQ
Snake: (pissed) You did WHAT!?
Mike: (wincing) I let Liquid into FOX-HOUND!
Raiden: (in a wheel chair) Liquid, where?
Ryan: Right in front of you.
Raiden: Behind the guy with the mustache?
Fox: He is the guy with the mustache!
Liquid: HA! Someone did fall for it!
Mikey: Liquid?
Liquid: Yeah?
Mikey: Will you be my friend?
Liquid: Sorry, don't make friends with fruit cakes.
Mikey: Hey!
Fox: (singing) You don't make friends with fruit cakes, you don't make friends with fruit cakes!
Everyone: You don't make friends with fruit cakes!
Mikey: HEY!!
Raiden: I stick fruit cakes in my mouth!
Otacon: Good for you.
Emma: I don't like fruit cakes, they taste funny!
All the Guys: (think the same thing and shudder)
Liquid: Why's the shemale in a wheel chair?
Raiden: My guts are liguini!
Naomi: That's disgusting!
Mike: (to Liquid) Ryan'll give you the tour.
Ryan: Sounds good.
Liquid: Alright.
Later, in the basement Snake, Fox and Mike are lounging on the couch
Mike: (holding the cards he found in the last chapter) What good are these?
Snake: (smoking a whole pack at once) (shrugs)
Fox: How 'bout handing over those cards?
Mike: Here. (hands them to him)
Fox: (reads them) You FRAKIN' idiot!
Mike: What?
Snake: (still smoking)
Fox: These are ticket to a boarding competition!
Mike: So?
Fox: The prize money for first place is $150!
Mike: That's more than FOX-HOUND's collective annual paycheck!
Snake: (finished the pack) I could by a whole lot of smokes with that!
Mike: We gotta submit someone!
Fox: They're being held in 12 days! GROUP MEETING!!!
Moments later
Ryan: Sweet!! We're saved!
Mei-Ling: How does that save us?
Ryan: Look, I'm trying to make it seem dramatic!
Liquid: This is greed, we're not trying to help anyone!
Snake: Amen to that!
Fox: Look, we gotta submit someone!
Mike: I already said that!
Snake:(has another pack in his mouth)
Naomi: I say Liquid!
Liquid: You make me do that and I'll run around in a thong for a week!
Raiden: Go Liquid! Run free and show that @$$!
Ryan: (knocks him out) Shut up linguini gut!
Mike: (turns green) Shut up!
Emma: How about Snake?
Snake: (smoking a whole pack so he can't talk, instead he panics)
Otacon: Look, you can take it like a man or stare at you brother's @$$ for a week!
Mikey: Yeah, shake that @SS!
Mike: (punches him out) Retard!
Ryan: Don't worry Snake! I'll teach you how!
Snake: (so exasperated that the pack fall's out of his mouth and lands on his crotch. Needless to say it catches fire) AAAHHH!! PUT IT OUT!
Sometime that week
Mike and Liquid are lounging in the basement
Liquid: Man I'm bored!
Mike: Let's do something!
Liquid: Alright... Hey, bet'cha $5 you can't eat that clay on the table.
Mike: You're on!(proceed's to eat it)
Liquid: Damn! (forks it over)
Mike: Ha! By the way, what would you have done if I hadn't recognized you?
Liquid: I would have stripped down to a thong and ran through the house. Look, (pulls a poster out of his back pocket) I even sketched it! (reveals it to show a picture of him spanking his ass in nothing but a pink thong and a pair of black socks taped to the poster and a bunch of stick figures with the word 'losers' above them doodled on)
Mike: Arg! (flips over the back of the couch)
Liquid: It ain't that bad of an angle!
Snake: (done practice for the day, so he walks downstairs) What the Hell happened to the C4 I left on the table?
Mike: (eyes go wide) That was C4?
Snake: Yeah!
Mike: I ate it for 5 bucks!
Snake: YOU ATE 150lbs. OF C4?!
Mike: YES!!
Everyone runs downstairs
Fox: You did what?!
Mike: (stomach starts to rumble)
Ryan: (super slow-mo) RUUUUN!!!
Everyone rushes out in slow motion
Mikey: (walks in) Huh? What's goi-
KA-BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
A mushroom cloud in the shape of an ass, and a freaking huge crater is what's left of the the HQ
Ryan: (coughs out smoke, while holding the last of the house, the doorknob. He is on the very edge of the crater) Damn that smells bad!
Fox: Are you okay?!
Ryan: (dazed) House went boom! Brain went splat!
E.E.: Oh my God!
Ryan: (snaps out of it) Wa!
Snake: My smokes!
Otacon: Your smokes?! What about Mike!
Naomi: And Mikey!
Liquid: (finds his poster) Look what I saved!
Snake: (sees it) My eyes! (falls into the crater)
Liquid: (hears something above him) The Hell? (A large object lands on him and gets up)
Mike: (completely fine) Hey guys!
Naomi: You're alive!
Mei-Ling: Alright!
E.E: Cool!
Otacon: But how..?
Ryan: Sweet!
Fox: That was cool!
Raiden: You're not even covered in soot!
Liquid: (in a small crater) Joy..!
Snake: (now recovered) Heh, the queer's dead!
Mike: Oh yeah! I saved these! (hands Snake a pack of smokes)
Snake: Score! (tears of the front&back of the package and lights them all up!) Thanks! (starts smoking)
Mei-Ling: But now are we going to live?
Fox: We can rent a place, then buy one if we get the prize money!
Liquid: (now on his feet) Hell yeah!
The big day
You know where
Snake: (looking around) Lot'a contestants!
Ryan: Hey, check out the red-head!
Mike: That's Meryl you retard!
Snake: Holy c**p!
Fox: And I thought she was stacked in the video game!
Naomi: Frankie!
Fox: Sorry, can't help it!
Mei-Ling: Lemme guess, it's 'in the genes'?
Naomi: Fick off.
Meryl: (walked over while they argued) Hey Snake, Otacon! It's been years, how are you and who are your friends?
Snake: Life's been fine. Saved the world again!
Meryl: I heard.
Otacon: Despite the constipation, I'm fine.
Meryl: (grossed out) Lovely.
Mike: Michael J. Meechan, friend of Snake's and a member of FOX-HOUND.
Meryl: FOX-HOUND?!
Snake: Don't worry, we're all FOX-HOUND.
Meryl: Cool.
Fox: I am like him, (points to Snake) I have no name.
Snake: Dude, (lights up a cig) my name's David.
Fox: Oh... In that case, my name is both Frank Jaeger and Gray Fox.
Ryan: First you say you don't have a name, then you have two... I'm Ryan.
Mei-Ling: My name's Mei-Ling, and I'll save you're mission data!
Naomi: I'm doctor Naomi Hunter, and if you like to smoke, start smoking!
Meryl: Real good advice, doctor.
Snake: And we left Jack at home.
At home
Raiden: Man, I'm bored!(hears a noise) What the hell was that?
He follows the noise to it's source.
Raiden: What's that?!
Object on table: (swivels around and reveals itself as...) Hello.
Raiden: Oh my God, Papes' HEAD!!!!
Papes: Yup!
Raiden: AAAAAAAAAAAA-
Papes: You ma bitch now! HAHAHAHA!
Raiden: (still screaming) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Back at the competition
Snake: (to Meryl) -wasn't even looking! Then I shot his balls right off!
Meryl: Cool!
Fox: Sick freak.
Naomi: (to Fox) Like you never did!
Fox: I have morals!
Mike: Like what? If it has jugs, don't shoot it?
Otacon: Low.
Emma: You think that's low? I didn't get to introduce myself!
Author's note: Go to hell, Emma!
Suddenly, Ryan rushes in
Ryan: Dudes!
Snake: Screw off.
Fox: What?
Mei-Ling: Anything good?
Ryan: Someone called Darth Cat entered!
Snake: So?
Mike: Tiggs...
Fox: Ah Hell...
Meryl: This is a bad thing?
Liquid: (shows up with pop&popcorn) How come?
Meryl: Ah! (whips out he Eagle) Freeze!
Liquid: (drops the items)(seriously high pitched voice) AAAAAAAHH!
Fox: ARG! My ears!
Snake: He's cool.
Meryl: Huh?
Otacon: He's with us.
Liquid: Yeah!
Meryl: You let HIM join?!
Mike: Wasn't smart, but then again they let me in!
Snake: True.
Fox: Man that was dumb!
Snake: Not as bad as when I let Mikey in!
Meryl: Mikey?
Naomi: Don't ask.
FOX-HOUND is then confronted by a diminutive form
E.Tiggs: (on two legs and in Darth Vader's outfit)(real deep voice) Meow, meow meow(deep breath) meow. (So, we meet again)
Mike: (forlorn) Tiggs...
Snake: Still alive?
Liquid: Holy Mac!
Meryl: Weird!
Fox: HAHAHAHAH!!! You're like Cat Vader!
Naomi: Woah!
Mei-Ling: I won't save your mission data.
Otacon: Cool!
Emma: Freaky!
Ryan: Papes killin SOB!
E.Tiggs: Meow, meow meow meow! (So, you expect to win?)
Naomi: Snake'll kick your @$$!
Mike: And you'll be left in the dust!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow? (That so?)
Ryan: Hell yeah!
Snake: I'll whup ya!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow. (We shall see)
Otacon: You can do it Snake!
Snake: Who dares, wins.
Meryl: What does that mean?
Snake: Dunno, just sounds cool.
Ryan: Semper fi.
Snake: (pulls out a cigaret and lights his match on Ryan's head) Don't go stealing my lines!
Ryan: Ow, man! That freakin burnt!
Fox: No shit Sherlock!
Emma: You go Snake!
Mike: Try not to treat him like Mikey, 'kay?
Snake: I'll try, but no promises.
Meryl: (kinda pissed) Who's Mikey?
Mei-Ling: Dead friend.
Meryl: Ah...
Otacon: He was possessed, so none of us liked him.
Naomi: True.
Mike: I liked him just fine.
Liquid: I loved the way he bit Ryan!
Ryan: (remembering to tour) My @$$ hurt for an hour.
Mei-Ling: They shackled us together butt-naked!
Meryl: Ew!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow! (Hey. I'm still here!)
Emma: That's nice. What did you think of Mikey?
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow meow! (he killed his clone by biting his nads!)
Fox: HAHAHAHA! I knew he was gay!
Snake: (to Mike) Loser!
Mike: I said he was my friend, not straight!
Loud Voice: The competition will start in 10min
Snake: Let's do it!
Everyone: Hell yeah!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow... (oh please)
15min later it's a one on one 'tween Tiggs and Snake
Fox: You can do it!
Snake pulls off a 180
Mike: Hell yeah!
Tiggs pulls off a 270
Naomi: No!
Snake pulls off a 360
Ryan: You da man!
Tiggs jumps off a ramp, pulls off a 360, lands on a pipe and does a grind
Liquid: Gotta help him! (Runs up to them, drops his coat and runs around spanking his @$$ in nothing but boots and a pink thong) Kiss this!
E.Tiggs: MEOW! (ARG) (loses control and flies right up Mikes @$$)
Mike: Frig!!! (stomach starts to rumble) SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!
E.Tiggs: (tail, still out, starts to spin like a chopper blade)
All FOX-HOUND-Snake: (screams and ducks)
Snake, blinded by Liquid, does a 36000 and lands on a pipe, grinds down it and does a back flip off of it, then lands back on it. Mike's @$$ then fires Tiggs out like a rocket.
E.Tiggs: (breaking a sound barrier) MMEEOWW!! (AAAAHHHH) (flies out into the horizon)
Liquid: (being chased by security) Give me a smooch right on the rose tatoo!
Snake: (now orientated) I'm gonna have that image in my head for weeks!
Mike: (running around with his butt on fire in the background) HELP! PUT IT OUT!!
Naomi: Snake, that was awesome!
Emma: You kicked @$$!
Fox: I haven't seen moves like that since Zanzibar!
Ryan: You kick more butt than a Japanese gamer on very easy mode!
Mei-Ling: You spun more times than Fox when I flashed him!
Otacon: That was cooler than when you ran all the way up the communication tower!
Mike: (now put out) Or down it!
Liquid is caught and dragged away in the background
Random judge: Congratulations Solid Snake, you won $150!
FOX-HOUND: Hell yeah!!!
After buying a new HQ,(an old cigaret factory) and bailing out Liquid for public indecency and trying to tear out the judge's eyes, we spent the remaining $75 on 150 pounds of white powder, went home and got fried like Snake's eggs.
Fox: Man, Liquid, your @$$ is like, so freaking round!
Liquid: (giggling) I know!
Mike: (eyes half shut) This rocks!
Raiden: (with Papes' head on his lap) Giving a head a lap dance sucks!
Papes' Head: Heeheeheeheehee!
Ryan: Papes can talk without a paper, so how 'bout we call him 'No Papes'?
Naomi: How about we get Snake to kill him?
Emma: Yeah!
Otacon: Split his skull Snake!
Snake: Sweet! (blows his, well, him open)
Ryan: No Papes! Ah well.
Raiden: Ew, I got brains on my crotch!
Meryl: I got brains im my jugs!
Mike: Probably skulls too!
Ryan: Cuz their so hard!
Naomi: Least it ain't me!
Mei-Ling: Walls are for pissing and taking dumps on! (Passes out)
Otacon: 2X2= 87+87!! (Russian accent) I am invincible! (Passes out)
Liquid: (already out cold)
Ryan: (giggles, pokes him in the butt, and passes out)
Fox: Hey, man, no touching blond people's merchandise! (Scratches his head, looks around, and passes out)
Mike: Might as well do it now... (grabs the new lamp, and smashes it over his head) (as before, he doesn't stay conscious)
Naomi: So that's what happened to the last one, thought Mikey ate it! (passes out)
Meryl: Hey Snake, I... (passes out onto his crotch)
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear! (passes out)
Ryan: Mike man, you're asleep! I can kick your butt at that! (walks off, gets a pillow, comes back and goes to sleep)
Emma: Pillows are soft! (passes out)
Raiden: Like Liquid's butt! (passes out)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter wads dedicated to Stefanie, the first to give me a review. Raiden bashing shall continue. Screw X-Box!
Closing remarks: Love this chapter, real fun to wright. If you noticed a lack of Ryan, It's because I did this chapter solo. If you want more scenes like last chapter's disclaimer, just ask. Please review.
Thanks James! Everyone who reads, please send suggstions, I'm a bleedin' idiot!
Mike:(reads the disclaimer) This disclaimer was crap!
Chapter 5: Snake Boarding! A.K.A. The Return of the Cat
Quote of the Chapter: You ma bitch now! HAHAHAHA!
FOX-HOUND HQ
Snake: (pissed) You did WHAT!?
Mike: (wincing) I let Liquid into FOX-HOUND!
Raiden: (in a wheel chair) Liquid, where?
Ryan: Right in front of you.
Raiden: Behind the guy with the mustache?
Fox: He is the guy with the mustache!
Liquid: HA! Someone did fall for it!
Mikey: Liquid?
Liquid: Yeah?
Mikey: Will you be my friend?
Liquid: Sorry, don't make friends with fruit cakes.
Mikey: Hey!
Fox: (singing) You don't make friends with fruit cakes, you don't make friends with fruit cakes!
Everyone: You don't make friends with fruit cakes!
Mikey: HEY!!
Raiden: I stick fruit cakes in my mouth!
Otacon: Good for you.
Emma: I don't like fruit cakes, they taste funny!
All the Guys: (think the same thing and shudder)
Liquid: Why's the shemale in a wheel chair?
Raiden: My guts are liguini!
Naomi: That's disgusting!
Mike: (to Liquid) Ryan'll give you the tour.
Ryan: Sounds good.
Liquid: Alright.
Later, in the basement Snake, Fox and Mike are lounging on the couch
Mike: (holding the cards he found in the last chapter) What good are these?
Snake: (smoking a whole pack at once) (shrugs)
Fox: How 'bout handing over those cards?
Mike: Here. (hands them to him)
Fox: (reads them) You FRAKIN' idiot!
Mike: What?
Snake: (still smoking)
Fox: These are ticket to a boarding competition!
Mike: So?
Fox: The prize money for first place is $150!
Mike: That's more than FOX-HOUND's collective annual paycheck!
Snake: (finished the pack) I could by a whole lot of smokes with that!
Mike: We gotta submit someone!
Fox: They're being held in 12 days! GROUP MEETING!!!
Moments later
Ryan: Sweet!! We're saved!
Mei-Ling: How does that save us?
Ryan: Look, I'm trying to make it seem dramatic!
Liquid: This is greed, we're not trying to help anyone!
Snake: Amen to that!
Fox: Look, we gotta submit someone!
Mike: I already said that!
Snake:(has another pack in his mouth)
Naomi: I say Liquid!
Liquid: You make me do that and I'll run around in a thong for a week!
Raiden: Go Liquid! Run free and show that @$$!
Ryan: (knocks him out) Shut up linguini gut!
Mike: (turns green) Shut up!
Emma: How about Snake?
Snake: (smoking a whole pack so he can't talk, instead he panics)
Otacon: Look, you can take it like a man or stare at you brother's @$$ for a week!
Mikey: Yeah, shake that @SS!
Mike: (punches him out) Retard!
Ryan: Don't worry Snake! I'll teach you how!
Snake: (so exasperated that the pack fall's out of his mouth and lands on his crotch. Needless to say it catches fire) AAAHHH!! PUT IT OUT!
Sometime that week
Mike and Liquid are lounging in the basement
Liquid: Man I'm bored!
Mike: Let's do something!
Liquid: Alright... Hey, bet'cha $5 you can't eat that clay on the table.
Mike: You're on!(proceed's to eat it)
Liquid: Damn! (forks it over)
Mike: Ha! By the way, what would you have done if I hadn't recognized you?
Liquid: I would have stripped down to a thong and ran through the house. Look, (pulls a poster out of his back pocket) I even sketched it! (reveals it to show a picture of him spanking his ass in nothing but a pink thong and a pair of black socks taped to the poster and a bunch of stick figures with the word 'losers' above them doodled on)
Mike: Arg! (flips over the back of the couch)
Liquid: It ain't that bad of an angle!
Snake: (done practice for the day, so he walks downstairs) What the Hell happened to the C4 I left on the table?
Mike: (eyes go wide) That was C4?
Snake: Yeah!
Mike: I ate it for 5 bucks!
Snake: YOU ATE 150lbs. OF C4?!
Mike: YES!!
Everyone runs downstairs
Fox: You did what?!
Mike: (stomach starts to rumble)
Ryan: (super slow-mo) RUUUUN!!!
Everyone rushes out in slow motion
Mikey: (walks in) Huh? What's goi-
KA-BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
A mushroom cloud in the shape of an ass, and a freaking huge crater is what's left of the the HQ
Ryan: (coughs out smoke, while holding the last of the house, the doorknob. He is on the very edge of the crater) Damn that smells bad!
Fox: Are you okay?!
Ryan: (dazed) House went boom! Brain went splat!
E.E.: Oh my God!
Ryan: (snaps out of it) Wa!
Snake: My smokes!
Otacon: Your smokes?! What about Mike!
Naomi: And Mikey!
Liquid: (finds his poster) Look what I saved!
Snake: (sees it) My eyes! (falls into the crater)
Liquid: (hears something above him) The Hell? (A large object lands on him and gets up)
Mike: (completely fine) Hey guys!
Naomi: You're alive!
Mei-Ling: Alright!
E.E: Cool!
Otacon: But how..?
Ryan: Sweet!
Fox: That was cool!
Raiden: You're not even covered in soot!
Liquid: (in a small crater) Joy..!
Snake: (now recovered) Heh, the queer's dead!
Mike: Oh yeah! I saved these! (hands Snake a pack of smokes)
Snake: Score! (tears of the front&back of the package and lights them all up!) Thanks! (starts smoking)
Mei-Ling: But now are we going to live?
Fox: We can rent a place, then buy one if we get the prize money!
Liquid: (now on his feet) Hell yeah!
The big day
You know where
Snake: (looking around) Lot'a contestants!
Ryan: Hey, check out the red-head!
Mike: That's Meryl you retard!
Snake: Holy c**p!
Fox: And I thought she was stacked in the video game!
Naomi: Frankie!
Fox: Sorry, can't help it!
Mei-Ling: Lemme guess, it's 'in the genes'?
Naomi: Fick off.
Meryl: (walked over while they argued) Hey Snake, Otacon! It's been years, how are you and who are your friends?
Snake: Life's been fine. Saved the world again!
Meryl: I heard.
Otacon: Despite the constipation, I'm fine.
Meryl: (grossed out) Lovely.
Mike: Michael J. Meechan, friend of Snake's and a member of FOX-HOUND.
Meryl: FOX-HOUND?!
Snake: Don't worry, we're all FOX-HOUND.
Meryl: Cool.
Fox: I am like him, (points to Snake) I have no name.
Snake: Dude, (lights up a cig) my name's David.
Fox: Oh... In that case, my name is both Frank Jaeger and Gray Fox.
Ryan: First you say you don't have a name, then you have two... I'm Ryan.
Mei-Ling: My name's Mei-Ling, and I'll save you're mission data!
Naomi: I'm doctor Naomi Hunter, and if you like to smoke, start smoking!
Meryl: Real good advice, doctor.
Snake: And we left Jack at home.
At home
Raiden: Man, I'm bored!(hears a noise) What the hell was that?
He follows the noise to it's source.
Raiden: What's that?!
Object on table: (swivels around and reveals itself as...) Hello.
Raiden: Oh my God, Papes' HEAD!!!!
Papes: Yup!
Raiden: AAAAAAAAAAAA-
Papes: You ma bitch now! HAHAHAHA!
Raiden: (still screaming) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Back at the competition
Snake: (to Meryl) -wasn't even looking! Then I shot his balls right off!
Meryl: Cool!
Fox: Sick freak.
Naomi: (to Fox) Like you never did!
Fox: I have morals!
Mike: Like what? If it has jugs, don't shoot it?
Otacon: Low.
Emma: You think that's low? I didn't get to introduce myself!
Author's note: Go to hell, Emma!
Suddenly, Ryan rushes in
Ryan: Dudes!
Snake: Screw off.
Fox: What?
Mei-Ling: Anything good?
Ryan: Someone called Darth Cat entered!
Snake: So?
Mike: Tiggs...
Fox: Ah Hell...
Meryl: This is a bad thing?
Liquid: (shows up with pop&popcorn) How come?
Meryl: Ah! (whips out he Eagle) Freeze!
Liquid: (drops the items)(seriously high pitched voice) AAAAAAAHH!
Fox: ARG! My ears!
Snake: He's cool.
Meryl: Huh?
Otacon: He's with us.
Liquid: Yeah!
Meryl: You let HIM join?!
Mike: Wasn't smart, but then again they let me in!
Snake: True.
Fox: Man that was dumb!
Snake: Not as bad as when I let Mikey in!
Meryl: Mikey?
Naomi: Don't ask.
FOX-HOUND is then confronted by a diminutive form
E.Tiggs: (on two legs and in Darth Vader's outfit)(real deep voice) Meow, meow meow(deep breath) meow. (So, we meet again)
Mike: (forlorn) Tiggs...
Snake: Still alive?
Liquid: Holy Mac!
Meryl: Weird!
Fox: HAHAHAHAH!!! You're like Cat Vader!
Naomi: Woah!
Mei-Ling: I won't save your mission data.
Otacon: Cool!
Emma: Freaky!
Ryan: Papes killin SOB!
E.Tiggs: Meow, meow meow meow! (So, you expect to win?)
Naomi: Snake'll kick your @$$!
Mike: And you'll be left in the dust!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow? (That so?)
Ryan: Hell yeah!
Snake: I'll whup ya!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow. (We shall see)
Otacon: You can do it Snake!
Snake: Who dares, wins.
Meryl: What does that mean?
Snake: Dunno, just sounds cool.
Ryan: Semper fi.
Snake: (pulls out a cigaret and lights his match on Ryan's head) Don't go stealing my lines!
Ryan: Ow, man! That freakin burnt!
Fox: No shit Sherlock!
Emma: You go Snake!
Mike: Try not to treat him like Mikey, 'kay?
Snake: I'll try, but no promises.
Meryl: (kinda pissed) Who's Mikey?
Mei-Ling: Dead friend.
Meryl: Ah...
Otacon: He was possessed, so none of us liked him.
Naomi: True.
Mike: I liked him just fine.
Liquid: I loved the way he bit Ryan!
Ryan: (remembering to tour) My @$$ hurt for an hour.
Mei-Ling: They shackled us together butt-naked!
Meryl: Ew!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow! (Hey. I'm still here!)
Emma: That's nice. What did you think of Mikey?
E.Tiggs: Meow meow meow meow meow! (he killed his clone by biting his nads!)
Fox: HAHAHAHA! I knew he was gay!
Snake: (to Mike) Loser!
Mike: I said he was my friend, not straight!
Loud Voice: The competition will start in 10min
Snake: Let's do it!
Everyone: Hell yeah!
E.Tiggs: Meow meow... (oh please)
15min later it's a one on one 'tween Tiggs and Snake
Fox: You can do it!
Snake pulls off a 180
Mike: Hell yeah!
Tiggs pulls off a 270
Naomi: No!
Snake pulls off a 360
Ryan: You da man!
Tiggs jumps off a ramp, pulls off a 360, lands on a pipe and does a grind
Liquid: Gotta help him! (Runs up to them, drops his coat and runs around spanking his @$$ in nothing but boots and a pink thong) Kiss this!
E.Tiggs: MEOW! (ARG) (loses control and flies right up Mikes @$$)
Mike: Frig!!! (stomach starts to rumble) SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!
E.Tiggs: (tail, still out, starts to spin like a chopper blade)
All FOX-HOUND-Snake: (screams and ducks)
Snake, blinded by Liquid, does a 36000 and lands on a pipe, grinds down it and does a back flip off of it, then lands back on it. Mike's @$$ then fires Tiggs out like a rocket.
E.Tiggs: (breaking a sound barrier) MMEEOWW!! (AAAAHHHH) (flies out into the horizon)
Liquid: (being chased by security) Give me a smooch right on the rose tatoo!
Snake: (now orientated) I'm gonna have that image in my head for weeks!
Mike: (running around with his butt on fire in the background) HELP! PUT IT OUT!!
Naomi: Snake, that was awesome!
Emma: You kicked @$$!
Fox: I haven't seen moves like that since Zanzibar!
Ryan: You kick more butt than a Japanese gamer on very easy mode!
Mei-Ling: You spun more times than Fox when I flashed him!
Otacon: That was cooler than when you ran all the way up the communication tower!
Mike: (now put out) Or down it!
Liquid is caught and dragged away in the background
Random judge: Congratulations Solid Snake, you won $150!
FOX-HOUND: Hell yeah!!!
After buying a new HQ,(an old cigaret factory) and bailing out Liquid for public indecency and trying to tear out the judge's eyes, we spent the remaining $75 on 150 pounds of white powder, went home and got fried like Snake's eggs.
Fox: Man, Liquid, your @$$ is like, so freaking round!
Liquid: (giggling) I know!
Mike: (eyes half shut) This rocks!
Raiden: (with Papes' head on his lap) Giving a head a lap dance sucks!
Papes' Head: Heeheeheeheehee!
Ryan: Papes can talk without a paper, so how 'bout we call him 'No Papes'?
Naomi: How about we get Snake to kill him?
Emma: Yeah!
Otacon: Split his skull Snake!
Snake: Sweet! (blows his, well, him open)
Ryan: No Papes! Ah well.
Raiden: Ew, I got brains on my crotch!
Meryl: I got brains im my jugs!
Mike: Probably skulls too!
Ryan: Cuz their so hard!
Naomi: Least it ain't me!
Mei-Ling: Walls are for pissing and taking dumps on! (Passes out)
Otacon: 2X2= 87+87!! (Russian accent) I am invincible! (Passes out)
Liquid: (already out cold)
Ryan: (giggles, pokes him in the butt, and passes out)
Fox: Hey, man, no touching blond people's merchandise! (Scratches his head, looks around, and passes out)
Mike: Might as well do it now... (grabs the new lamp, and smashes it over his head) (as before, he doesn't stay conscious)
Naomi: So that's what happened to the last one, thought Mikey ate it! (passes out)
Meryl: Hey Snake, I... (passes out onto his crotch)
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear! (passes out)
Ryan: Mike man, you're asleep! I can kick your butt at that! (walks off, gets a pillow, comes back and goes to sleep)
Emma: Pillows are soft! (passes out)
Raiden: Like Liquid's butt! (passes out)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter wads dedicated to Stefanie, the first to give me a review. Raiden bashing shall continue. Screw X-Box!
Closing remarks: Love this chapter, real fun to wright. If you noticed a lack of Ryan, It's because I did this chapter solo. If you want more scenes like last chapter's disclaimer, just ask. Please review.
Thanks James! Everyone who reads, please send suggstions, I'm a bleedin' idiot!