Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, groups, etc. in this fic now that I'm dead.
Snake: A ghost is writing this fic?
Yup.
Snake: (eyes go wide) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs off yelling I want my Big Boss)
Freak.
Quote of the chapter: Good-bye, mister Ex President Sears... I mean mister Ex Prsident.
Epilogue: One big good time
Life has returned to being normal, Emma being kicked out, Otacon's still in the hospital, Mei-Ling got a job on Naked News and Naomi became the Head of FOX-HOUND's medical staff. Like you didn't see that one coming. Raiden is playing Jack Off in the box with Fox. Snake took a bet with Liquid that he wouldn't live 1min.
Fox: (aims at a box) Any one in there? (fires off three rounds of his Socom) Nope.
Raiden: (in a box, giggles)
Fox: (impersonating Liquid) There you are! (empty's the rest of the clip into it)
The box tears open and Raiden is bleeding on the ground.
Raiden: (weakly) Found the Jack Off.
Snake: You know what that means.
Raiden: I go again. (crawls under another box)
Naomi: (comes downstairs) You know, you should really accept that their dead.
Snake: I don't know what you mean. (lights up another cig he painted black)
Fox: We got over that just fine. (he's wearing the t-shirt they got specialized, it has a picture of Mike and Ryan, beside Snake, Fox and Liquid)
Naomi: Sure. At least Liquid isn't moping.
Liquid: (drops coat to reveal black thong) You were saying?
Naomi: Frak! My eyes!
Snake: Put that fraking coat back on!
Fox: Or I'll slice you're mommy-daddy buttons!
Liquid: (puts the coat on) I never had a mommy!
Naomi: Who the frak cares?!
Raiden: My daddy killed my mommy and daddy, then tried to kill me on Federal Hall!
Snake: My dad tried to kill me in Zanzibar.
Raiden: Hee-hee, I love your funny talk!
Liquid: I love your girlfriend!
Raiden: (shocked) So do I! Wanna play the pony game with us?
Liquid: Frak no!
Meryl: (wakes up on the couch) Huh? Liquid's in the pickles again..?
Fox: No... not yet.
Snake: I'd keep my eyes on him though.
Raiden: (still bleeding under his box) That was me.
Meryl: Snake, Fox, do your job.
Fox: (stomps on the box) Dumb-ass!
Snake: (sets it on fire with his cig) Frak ass!
Raiden: I think you overcooked supper.
Meryl: What time is it?
Naomi: 11am.
Raiden: Sorry, I'm overcooked then.
Fox: Put him out! (Starts to kick the box)
Snake: Frak! (starts to kick it too)
Liquid: (stops them, then sprays Raiden with the Coolant Spray in his face just like mace, because the box is just ash) There.
Raiden: (bruised, bleeding, cracked ribs) Thanks. I can't see.
Fox: Nice one man, he might have burnt to a crisp.
Snake: I'd like to think we made a difference.
Meryl: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, you saved him alright.
Liquid: (perky) We know.
Naomi: You guys don't get out much do you?
Snake: Not since... The Incident! (cue suspenseful music)
Meryl: A dog humped Raiden's leg, so what? You do it to me all the time.
Snake: Ex ne on the leg hump ay!
Fox: The Frak? Is Semper fi the only thing you can say that's even remotely Latin?
Liquid: Vae Victus! (Kain from the Legacy of Kain's battle cry. It means 'suffering to be conquered')
Fox: Real impressive.
Meryl: It beats my abilities!
Naomi: Like you have any other than shooting and humping Snake!
Snake: If you don't like her abilities, get bent.
Meryl: Yeah, frak off!
Fox: I like her idea!
Liquid: You want to frak off?
Fox: No! We should do something!
Raiden: We do lots of stuff. But while you're out, could you by me something for my eyes?
Snake: Fine. Naomi.
Naomi: Yeah?
Snake: Make us a list of things to do.
Naomi: I've always dreamed that this day would come!
Liquid: I salute you two.
Fox: You're coming.
Liquid: Frak.
Some random period of time between then and 2hours.
Liquid: (reading the shopping list) Next item: 'Milk'.
Snake: (dressed in his sneaking suit) All right.
Fox: (in camouflage outfit. Not the stealth module) Gotcha.
Liquid: Look! (points to an old couple walking towards the last bag of milk)
Fox: I'll stop them from moving! (Charges towards them)
Snake: I got it! (Goes for the milk)
Fox: (jumps over the old couple and draws a Socom) Freeze mother frakers!
Old Woman: AAH! (Has a heart attack)
Snake: Got it!
An alarm goes off and the grocery store security goes into alert mode. Snake dives into the freezer and Fox hides behind a large stack of Meow mix. Coincidently Tiggs was the poster cat.
Random Guard: (catches sight of Fox's shadow) Huh? Who's there?
Alpha Guard: All units, return to post's. Sending additional units to patrol the grounds.
Fox: (exhales) That was close! Where the frak is Snake?
He walks over to the freezer and opens it. Snake is frozen solid. He tips slightly, and falls onto the ground below the camera angle. He then pops back up, completely fine.
Snake: Man that's cold!
Liquid: (walks to them) Next item, the cream cheese.
Fox: Mine. (Stalks off slowly)
Liquid: And the beer.
Snake: I can handle that. (Walks off in the opposite direction of Fox)
Fox sneaks through the isles, being spotted by no one. He comes to a stop when he finds a guard standing... well, guard in front of the cream cheese. Fox pulls out an empty clip and throws it behind him.
Guard: Huh? (Walks over to the clip) Huh? (Stands there like an idiot)
Fox: (sneaks over and grabs the cream cheese, then sprints back to Liquid)
Liquid: Good work. Next item is... the cereal. Two boxes of Count Chocula, and a box of Oreo cereal.
Fox: Easy enough. (Sneaks off again)
Snake swings around the corner and shoots the guard in the neck with the M9. He walks over and claims his prize: Molsen Canadian. How he got it in the States is beyond me.
Snake: You'll help give me some good memories. (Makes his way back to Liquid)
Liquid: And the last item is: Meryl's tampons.
Fox and Snake: Not it.
Liquid: Huh? Damn it all to frak!
Liquid sneaks down the isle's slowly, his M9 trained out in front of him. He makes it without interruption, until-
Mei-Ling: Hi Liquid.
Liquid: (jumps two feet in the air and remembers he's holding the tampons, he turns red) Hi Mei-Ling... Nice to see you again.
Mei-Ling: Have you been watching my show?
Liquid: Fox tapes it every time it's on...
Mei-Ling: What'cha got there? (Spots the tampons) Ooh, you bad boy.
Liquid: It's not what you think!
Mei-Ling: Sure. Tell the guys to drop by sometime.
Liquid: Alright...
Mei-Ling: Bye! (Walks off doing the 'Meryl walk')
Liquid: I'm outta here! (Bolts for the guys, but gets spotted by a CYPHER)
Snake: Liquid, behind you!
Sure enough, a platoon of security guard are chasing him. The trio bolt for the door in slow motion. As soon as they clear the building fifteen feet, Fox hits 'the switch'. Every C4 they placed at strategic points on the building explode. The entire building collapses, killing everyone inside.
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear!
Another undefinable period of time later.
The boys are trying to make soup.
Snake: No! The matches wont do the trick! Fox!
Fox: (holding a blow torch) Ready!
Liquid: Ignite the fraker!
Fox: Here goes..! (spreads flames over the pot) Burn baby!!
Snake: Now for the oregano... (tears it open and dumps the whole package into the 'soup'. It sets ablaze) Liquid, one more time.
Liquid: Take this, you flaming spawn of the soup of Satan! (Empty's a whole Coolant Sprat to get the fire to die down) There! (Tosses the can over his head, it lands on a 5 foot mound of empty Coolant Spray cans)
Fox: Now, for the last ingredient. (He tosses in a few cups of water) Ready!
Liquid: We must divide it evenly!
Snake: Good call. Fox?
Fox: My pleasure. (He tries to slice it open with his katana, but it snaps in half) Holy frak!
Liquid: Shall I?
Snake: Go for it.
Liquid: Splendid. (He pulls out a chainsaw from midair, and sets to work on the so called soup) Done like dinner!
Fox: It is dinner.
Liquid: It's an expression.
Snake: No, I'm pretty sure it's dinner.
Liquid: You two are hopless!
Fox: No, Raiden's hopless, we're just stubborn.
Liquid: Frakin' right.
Snake: Anyway, time to eat.
Fox: NAOMI!
Snake: MERYL!
Liquid: Supper!
In a few moments all of the inhabitants are staring at the well spiced charcoal.
Fox: What are you waiting for? Dig in!
Naomi: You have got to be joking.
Meryl: I'd rather spend the night at Ocelot's place.
After a few moments, the men give a simultaneous nod and pull out shotguns.
Fox: These aren't ordinary shotguns, these new model 'shitguns' will give you diarrhea so bad you'll envy Jonny Sasaki.
Liquid: At this distance, it may kill even you.
Snake: So shut up and eat.
Meryl: I'm not going to enjoy living here for a while.
Naomi: Should've asked them to feed us rations...
Somewhere else
Romanian voice: Yes sir, they're corpses have been recovered. Operation 'Even Bigger Shell' is in operation. No sir, the cat and the CAT could not be recovered. Tigger's body was reduced to ash, and CAT is no more than a scrap pile. No sir, my cover is intact. No sir, I haven't even talked to them. Thank you sir, and good-bye, mister Ex President Sears... I mean mister Ex President. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
The end, with a sequel to come. Review and give me a creative name for it. NOW!!
Author's Notes: I wonder who Vamp, I mean that mysterious guy was talking about, and to who? Yes, I actually know, but I'm trying to make it suspenseful! Ah frak it... Good-Bye. For now!
Cast of Characters: (insert ending theme of Metal Gear Solid)
Solid Snake: David Hayter
Gray Fox: George Byrd
Gray Gecko: Michael John Meechan
Solid Cobra: Ryan Derasp
Liquid Snake: James Flinders
Meryl Silverburgh: Mae Zadler
Jack Off: Quinton Flinn
Naomi Hunter: Carren Learning
Mei-Ling: Kim Mai Guest
Tigger: My pet cat Tigger
Otacon: Christopher Randolph
Solitary Tyrant: Michael Paul Podstawka
Papes: Ryan Stiles
Emma Emmerich: Jennifer Hale
President Bush: George Bush
French Soldiers: Michael John Meechan
Jean Claude Van Dam
George Byrd
Greg Eagle (Peter Stillman)
Snake: A ghost is writing this fic?
Yup.
Snake: (eyes go wide) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs off yelling I want my Big Boss)
Freak.
Quote of the chapter: Good-bye, mister Ex President Sears... I mean mister Ex Prsident.
Epilogue: One big good time
Life has returned to being normal, Emma being kicked out, Otacon's still in the hospital, Mei-Ling got a job on Naked News and Naomi became the Head of FOX-HOUND's medical staff. Like you didn't see that one coming. Raiden is playing Jack Off in the box with Fox. Snake took a bet with Liquid that he wouldn't live 1min.
Fox: (aims at a box) Any one in there? (fires off three rounds of his Socom) Nope.
Raiden: (in a box, giggles)
Fox: (impersonating Liquid) There you are! (empty's the rest of the clip into it)
The box tears open and Raiden is bleeding on the ground.
Raiden: (weakly) Found the Jack Off.
Snake: You know what that means.
Raiden: I go again. (crawls under another box)
Naomi: (comes downstairs) You know, you should really accept that their dead.
Snake: I don't know what you mean. (lights up another cig he painted black)
Fox: We got over that just fine. (he's wearing the t-shirt they got specialized, it has a picture of Mike and Ryan, beside Snake, Fox and Liquid)
Naomi: Sure. At least Liquid isn't moping.
Liquid: (drops coat to reveal black thong) You were saying?
Naomi: Frak! My eyes!
Snake: Put that fraking coat back on!
Fox: Or I'll slice you're mommy-daddy buttons!
Liquid: (puts the coat on) I never had a mommy!
Naomi: Who the frak cares?!
Raiden: My daddy killed my mommy and daddy, then tried to kill me on Federal Hall!
Snake: My dad tried to kill me in Zanzibar.
Raiden: Hee-hee, I love your funny talk!
Liquid: I love your girlfriend!
Raiden: (shocked) So do I! Wanna play the pony game with us?
Liquid: Frak no!
Meryl: (wakes up on the couch) Huh? Liquid's in the pickles again..?
Fox: No... not yet.
Snake: I'd keep my eyes on him though.
Raiden: (still bleeding under his box) That was me.
Meryl: Snake, Fox, do your job.
Fox: (stomps on the box) Dumb-ass!
Snake: (sets it on fire with his cig) Frak ass!
Raiden: I think you overcooked supper.
Meryl: What time is it?
Naomi: 11am.
Raiden: Sorry, I'm overcooked then.
Fox: Put him out! (Starts to kick the box)
Snake: Frak! (starts to kick it too)
Liquid: (stops them, then sprays Raiden with the Coolant Spray in his face just like mace, because the box is just ash) There.
Raiden: (bruised, bleeding, cracked ribs) Thanks. I can't see.
Fox: Nice one man, he might have burnt to a crisp.
Snake: I'd like to think we made a difference.
Meryl: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, you saved him alright.
Liquid: (perky) We know.
Naomi: You guys don't get out much do you?
Snake: Not since... The Incident! (cue suspenseful music)
Meryl: A dog humped Raiden's leg, so what? You do it to me all the time.
Snake: Ex ne on the leg hump ay!
Fox: The Frak? Is Semper fi the only thing you can say that's even remotely Latin?
Liquid: Vae Victus! (Kain from the Legacy of Kain's battle cry. It means 'suffering to be conquered')
Fox: Real impressive.
Meryl: It beats my abilities!
Naomi: Like you have any other than shooting and humping Snake!
Snake: If you don't like her abilities, get bent.
Meryl: Yeah, frak off!
Fox: I like her idea!
Liquid: You want to frak off?
Fox: No! We should do something!
Raiden: We do lots of stuff. But while you're out, could you by me something for my eyes?
Snake: Fine. Naomi.
Naomi: Yeah?
Snake: Make us a list of things to do.
Naomi: I've always dreamed that this day would come!
Liquid: I salute you two.
Fox: You're coming.
Liquid: Frak.
Some random period of time between then and 2hours.
Liquid: (reading the shopping list) Next item: 'Milk'.
Snake: (dressed in his sneaking suit) All right.
Fox: (in camouflage outfit. Not the stealth module) Gotcha.
Liquid: Look! (points to an old couple walking towards the last bag of milk)
Fox: I'll stop them from moving! (Charges towards them)
Snake: I got it! (Goes for the milk)
Fox: (jumps over the old couple and draws a Socom) Freeze mother frakers!
Old Woman: AAH! (Has a heart attack)
Snake: Got it!
An alarm goes off and the grocery store security goes into alert mode. Snake dives into the freezer and Fox hides behind a large stack of Meow mix. Coincidently Tiggs was the poster cat.
Random Guard: (catches sight of Fox's shadow) Huh? Who's there?
Alpha Guard: All units, return to post's. Sending additional units to patrol the grounds.
Fox: (exhales) That was close! Where the frak is Snake?
He walks over to the freezer and opens it. Snake is frozen solid. He tips slightly, and falls onto the ground below the camera angle. He then pops back up, completely fine.
Snake: Man that's cold!
Liquid: (walks to them) Next item, the cream cheese.
Fox: Mine. (Stalks off slowly)
Liquid: And the beer.
Snake: I can handle that. (Walks off in the opposite direction of Fox)
Fox sneaks through the isles, being spotted by no one. He comes to a stop when he finds a guard standing... well, guard in front of the cream cheese. Fox pulls out an empty clip and throws it behind him.
Guard: Huh? (Walks over to the clip) Huh? (Stands there like an idiot)
Fox: (sneaks over and grabs the cream cheese, then sprints back to Liquid)
Liquid: Good work. Next item is... the cereal. Two boxes of Count Chocula, and a box of Oreo cereal.
Fox: Easy enough. (Sneaks off again)
Snake swings around the corner and shoots the guard in the neck with the M9. He walks over and claims his prize: Molsen Canadian. How he got it in the States is beyond me.
Snake: You'll help give me some good memories. (Makes his way back to Liquid)
Liquid: And the last item is: Meryl's tampons.
Fox and Snake: Not it.
Liquid: Huh? Damn it all to frak!
Liquid sneaks down the isle's slowly, his M9 trained out in front of him. He makes it without interruption, until-
Mei-Ling: Hi Liquid.
Liquid: (jumps two feet in the air and remembers he's holding the tampons, he turns red) Hi Mei-Ling... Nice to see you again.
Mei-Ling: Have you been watching my show?
Liquid: Fox tapes it every time it's on...
Mei-Ling: What'cha got there? (Spots the tampons) Ooh, you bad boy.
Liquid: It's not what you think!
Mei-Ling: Sure. Tell the guys to drop by sometime.
Liquid: Alright...
Mei-Ling: Bye! (Walks off doing the 'Meryl walk')
Liquid: I'm outta here! (Bolts for the guys, but gets spotted by a CYPHER)
Snake: Liquid, behind you!
Sure enough, a platoon of security guard are chasing him. The trio bolt for the door in slow motion. As soon as they clear the building fifteen feet, Fox hits 'the switch'. Every C4 they placed at strategic points on the building explode. The entire building collapses, killing everyone inside.
Snake: Now that's Metal Gear!
Another undefinable period of time later.
The boys are trying to make soup.
Snake: No! The matches wont do the trick! Fox!
Fox: (holding a blow torch) Ready!
Liquid: Ignite the fraker!
Fox: Here goes..! (spreads flames over the pot) Burn baby!!
Snake: Now for the oregano... (tears it open and dumps the whole package into the 'soup'. It sets ablaze) Liquid, one more time.
Liquid: Take this, you flaming spawn of the soup of Satan! (Empty's a whole Coolant Sprat to get the fire to die down) There! (Tosses the can over his head, it lands on a 5 foot mound of empty Coolant Spray cans)
Fox: Now, for the last ingredient. (He tosses in a few cups of water) Ready!
Liquid: We must divide it evenly!
Snake: Good call. Fox?
Fox: My pleasure. (He tries to slice it open with his katana, but it snaps in half) Holy frak!
Liquid: Shall I?
Snake: Go for it.
Liquid: Splendid. (He pulls out a chainsaw from midair, and sets to work on the so called soup) Done like dinner!
Fox: It is dinner.
Liquid: It's an expression.
Snake: No, I'm pretty sure it's dinner.
Liquid: You two are hopless!
Fox: No, Raiden's hopless, we're just stubborn.
Liquid: Frakin' right.
Snake: Anyway, time to eat.
Fox: NAOMI!
Snake: MERYL!
Liquid: Supper!
In a few moments all of the inhabitants are staring at the well spiced charcoal.
Fox: What are you waiting for? Dig in!
Naomi: You have got to be joking.
Meryl: I'd rather spend the night at Ocelot's place.
After a few moments, the men give a simultaneous nod and pull out shotguns.
Fox: These aren't ordinary shotguns, these new model 'shitguns' will give you diarrhea so bad you'll envy Jonny Sasaki.
Liquid: At this distance, it may kill even you.
Snake: So shut up and eat.
Meryl: I'm not going to enjoy living here for a while.
Naomi: Should've asked them to feed us rations...
Somewhere else
Romanian voice: Yes sir, they're corpses have been recovered. Operation 'Even Bigger Shell' is in operation. No sir, the cat and the CAT could not be recovered. Tigger's body was reduced to ash, and CAT is no more than a scrap pile. No sir, my cover is intact. No sir, I haven't even talked to them. Thank you sir, and good-bye, mister Ex President Sears... I mean mister Ex President. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
The end, with a sequel to come. Review and give me a creative name for it. NOW!!
Author's Notes: I wonder who Vamp, I mean that mysterious guy was talking about, and to who? Yes, I actually know, but I'm trying to make it suspenseful! Ah frak it... Good-Bye. For now!
Cast of Characters: (insert ending theme of Metal Gear Solid)
Solid Snake: David Hayter
Gray Fox: George Byrd
Gray Gecko: Michael John Meechan
Solid Cobra: Ryan Derasp
Liquid Snake: James Flinders
Meryl Silverburgh: Mae Zadler
Jack Off: Quinton Flinn
Naomi Hunter: Carren Learning
Mei-Ling: Kim Mai Guest
Tigger: My pet cat Tigger
Otacon: Christopher Randolph
Solitary Tyrant: Michael Paul Podstawka
Papes: Ryan Stiles
Emma Emmerich: Jennifer Hale
President Bush: George Bush
French Soldiers: Michael John Meechan
Jean Claude Van Dam
George Byrd
Greg Eagle (Peter Stillman)