Sword of Damocles: Chapter 1
Written by Aliet Faslami

-------- Zim --------


"GIR! Cease your pointless chatter and go annoy others elsewhere! Your MASTER has work to do!" I yelled. Seemed I yelled a lot these days. "AND you are NOT helping!"

GIR landed on my head. It had been swinging from some pipe or other above me, squeaking out some vile human song about "lolee-pops". GIR's singing voice could shatter the finest-made Irken glass. Not to mention sensitive Irken antennae. "TACOOOOS!" the SIR squealed, clutching said appendages in its metal hands. I screamed, to say the least. No one touches a Soldier's antennae. They are the most sensitive part of an Irken. And when gripped by a hyperactive, insane robot named GIR... they are the most painful.

From experience, I had learned the best way to dislodge GIR was to run until it fell off and ran to bother some other poor soul. I attempted this now. Unfortunately, GIR only clung tighter, which, in sort of a linked reaction, caused me to scream louder. My SIR merely laughed louder. How anyone can be humorous when screaming in agony and running to dislodge a SIR that has glued itself to one's head remains a mystery to me. The combined sounds of running, screaming, and laughter eventually attracts attention in any house or base, and thus was the case here. This commotion caused my first ally, the Student Irken by the name of Jendai Kaalae, to come try and aid me. I did not notice him, and thus ran into him.

"Whoa!" Despite his height, my impact sent the Jendai crashing to the floor. The halo he was forced wear was jarred out of position and fell crookedly into his face. Although, it DID cause GIR to fly backwards off my head. The robot released my antennae at the same moment, laughing as it flew. "GIR..." the Jendai groaned, righting his halo with a grimace. "You all right, Zim?"

I nodded, rising. "Are you?"

He nodded as well, getting to his feet and brushing the non-existent dust from his clothing. Again, he adjusted the halo. I feel I must explain about the Jendai before you die of curiosity. Although, I must admit that WOULD be quite interesting to watch... but... Here I go, if I must. The Jendai, is dead. Well, I assume you knew THAT much. His body cannot die again, only go to the very brink, but never fall over the edge. It is a long and complex story, but, to put it simply, he is an angel. A very TALL angel... "You all right? No permanent damage?" he asked me, looking down from the height that matched my Tallests'.

"None," I answered smartly, waving him off. "You may return to your business now. And you have my thanks for your concern."

For a moment, he leaned in the doorway, just watching me get back to work. GIR came back to me, bouncing insanely. Laying eyes on my ally however, the SIR immediately ran to him, latching onto his leg. Patiently, he picked GIR up and took it out of the room so I could work. Thoughtful of him. Then again, when were Students not thoughtful? This thought kept me occupied away from work for a moment. Only the fact that I had so much to do brought me back from musing. Being an Invader was so strenuous sometimes. My antennae would be limp long before their time if I kept this rate up. Not to mention the perpetual annoyances of the DIB-creature.

Blast it all. Why ME!? Of all the so-called, "aliens" on this planet, why did that stinking HUMAN have to pick me? I have done nothing-wait, no. Yes I have. But how is that an excuse to hound me at every turn and make pitiful attempts on my life? I fail to see the logic in this.


Just as I was about to put the finishing touches on my latest report, another aggravating persona happened to stick their head in to the room. Less annoying than GIR... but company was not what I currently desired. "Zim? Can I come in?" Well, at least she had the presence of mind to ask if her entrance was allowed.

I turned to face her. "Ack, why not? The rest of this stinking planet comes when they please. Why should you be any different?" I snapped, folding my arms.

"Aw, I'm hurt Zim. Really, you've wounded me deeply," came AF's equally sarcastic remark. She came in anyway, those huge boots-that the females who came around my base always seemed to be wearing-making hideously loud sounds against my floors. I winced. Blasted noise... "Problem?" she asked me, leaning against the wall with her arms folded in what humans considered a casual pose.

"YES," I hissed back. "I wish to be merely left alone to finish my work, but everyone who I allow to live here refuses to honor that one wish!" Without thinking, I hit my fist against the console, causing the screen to flicker and fade to black. It caught my attention. "NONONONOOO!!" Turning to it, I, almost instinctually, started to rant at it. "You sniveling, UNGRATEFUL, piece of TRASH! How dare you delete the MIGHTY work of ZIM!? I will DESTROY YOOOU!!" By this time, I had jumped up in my chair to better rant, not realizing it of course. Glancing over at the AF, who was frantically trying to cover her slight laughter, I got down.

"You needed something...?"

She nodded, blushing. "We're playing truth or dare upstairs."

Oh...

Sweet...

Mother...

Of...

IRK!!

NO!! Not TRUTH OR DARE!! Anything but that! That... horrible, asinine, HUUman game that dares degrade ZIM at every chance it gets!! And with that... JC-CREATURE! The very BANE of my existence! The one who feels it is necessary for I, ZIM, to be "hugged!" and "kissed!" I loathe that game. Nevertheless, I always seem to be dragged into it every time both the JC-creature and the... Bast... cat... human... person come to the base!

That is the trouble with allowing the AF to live here. She may very well be an ally of mine, but she has far too many of these "friends" for my liking. They always come here and make my mission next to impossible with their constant Truth or Dare games, or just general hunting me out.

I met the AF after she ran into one of my amazing escapes from one of the Dib's traps. Despite what she says, she merely helped me escape, not "saved my little green ass", as she puts it. This happened a few times before I finally decided, with my amazing skills of... decision making, that this AF would make a valuable ally-in addition to the Jendai, who had returned to Earth in his angelform at this time-and made her one. Later, the humans who had been made her "adoptive parents" moved to a different place on the planet. The Jendai was given "guardianship" of the AF and thus she was "forced" to live with us.

"I REFUSE TO PLAY THIS HIDEOUS GAME OF TORTURE!"

The AF rolled her eyes at me. "Please Zim. JC just named you the Overlord Of All Dares," she told me, as if I were supposed to know this already. "We need you."

That made me think. "Are you unable to play this game without the mighty Overlord?"

"Yes. Without you, we are nothing." There was no attempt to hide the sarcasm in her voice. I knew what she was doing, and, quite honestly, did not mind it much. "So come on!" With that, she grabbed my arm and dragged me off.

I wanted to kick and flail or something to get her to let go, but an Invader has too much pride for such things. Not to mention, someone might see me do it. I was already humiliated enough, being dragged around by a female who appeared human and was far shorter than any human I had seen so far. A member of the elite Invaders, the highest military position, dragged around by a member of an inferior species! Especially so great an Invader as I. So, I was forced to let her drag me up those stairs I had installed beside the refrigerator for the use of my "houseguests". Already I could hear the chatter of the females and the lower voices of the males who had been tricked into doing this. I recognized the voices of my Tallest Purple and the Jendai instantly. The females had always been more difficult for me to tell apart.

"Who's going first--"

"Lynne is!"

"...Lynne's not here, JC."

"Oh."

"She's right though... usually we trick Lynne into going first."

"You do not trick her into anything, Purple!"

"I didn't mean me! I meant JC tricks her! Blast it Dai, what kind of Irken do you think I am?"

We entered then, just in time to see the were-cat Bast elbow the Jendai, looking either sly, or annoyed... and knowing her it was a mixture of the two. "You're sticking up for Lynne an awful lot tonight, Dai-koi..." she said, twitching her cat ears. Personally, I did not understand why the Jendai was "in love" with her. She was frightening to me, with cat ears, tail and even whiskers. I had seen her become more like a cat than a human before... and combined with her temper, was someone I felt it best to leave be.

The entire group was spread about the main room in the upper base, as was their usual fashion. On the couch were seated the Bast and the Jendai, their arms wrapped around one another-disgustingly, I might add. It was as if they wanted to announce to the entire planet that they would be marrying one another. The JC-creature had dragged the chair up to face them, moving it from its usual corner of the room. She was sprawled in it, getting her dirty feet everywhere. Among those in the room, she was the only human, and, in my view, the most annoying of us all. She was the one who always insisted on hugging everyone and considered herself the "Dare Queen" until I topped her pathetic human dares with ease. Leaning on his hands across from the couch was my Tallest Purple.

Another odd story there... My Tallest, both of them, are stranded here on Earth until the rest of the Armada discovers their whereabouts. I am not quite sure exactly how they landed here. All I know is that they are here for a time, along with the small one Tallest Purple has taken as his student and Tallest Red has taken as his trainee. Until they left, I had to be on my best behavior, and do my best to ensure that those around their tallness are as well. Unfortunately, the pack of females the AF calls friends is not as respectful as I. It can be downright annoying.

I was dropped down beside my Tallest, most degradingly, by the AF, who had the audacity to sit on his other side. Folding my arms, I glared out at the world.

"Hey, she's not here, if I don't defend her, who will?" the Jendai said flatly, folding his arms. "Plus she's my friend."

The Bast-cat hugged him as if to make up for her previous statement. He turned his head to kiss her gently. The other two females cooed while Tallest Purple smirked. It made me sick. To avoid my gag reflex, I merely averted my eyes. It seemed like an hour before their disgusting gesture of affection broke. Broke with a soft smacking sound, I might add. Sickening. Truly sickening. Nothing happened for a few moments, so I took it as a good opportunity to leave discreetly.

"Where do you think you're going, Zim?"

I froze. My Tallest had noticed my somewhat hasty retreat. I felt my antennae droop. "Get back here. I'm not going to suffer through this game outnumbered," he said gruffly. I could almost picture his pose of folded arms, head tipped slightly to one side, and the slight lid to his eyes that told the world he was amusedly annoyed.

"Yes, my Tallest..." I muttered, flattening my antennae respectfully. Almost dejectedly, I sat back down, in a mood some would dare to call, "pouty". "My deepest apologies for attempting to leave you at the hands of an inferior species..."

It had always bothered me that all these... humans and human-like females knew my true identity and my mission... but my Tallest and the Jendai did not seem to mind any. I could not protest when their minds had been made up. GIR absolutely loved the attention they showered it with.

The Bast growled at my comment. "We're inferior are we...?" she hissed. I could see her claws appearing at the tips of her fingers in response to her anger.

"Bast..." The Jendai's tone was placating, something I was quite thankful for. He was holding her tighter. "No kill the Zim, okay?"

"Pft. Okay, okay, fine. Let's just play already."

"ME FIRST!"

We all cringed. The JC was standing up in the chair, waving her arms around as if we could not see her. Having decided she had no contest for the first position, the JC began her... "difficult" task of selecting her first victim. I knew who it would be, and what her "amazing" dare would be.

"I piiiiick... Zim!" She was still standing, and struck a triumphant pose as she decided. I cringed. "ZIM!" the JC announced again. One finger pointed straight for me. She gave the corrective lenses she wore a shove, pushing them back to their place on the bridge of her nose, then announced-as if we did not know what was coming next... "Truth or Dare?"

I groaned. Either way I chose, the JC would find SOME way to involve Lyn. Why did they all have to assume things they knew nothing about!? I did NOT "love" Lyn, as they thought. She was merely an ally! A single point of sanity on this planet of lunatics. That was most likely because, like the AF and the Bast, she was not human. Something called a "drag-on" to be exact, one with a way of manipulating energy patterns of this plane to her own uses. The truth behind just who she truly is... that is something better explained by Lyn herself. And just because I cared slightly more about her welfare and such than I did my other allies did not mean I "loved" her. Invaders do not love. "I do not wish to be subject to one of your INFERIOR huuuman dares this night, JC-BEAST. Give me a truth before I leave this idiocy," I snapped, folding my arms.

The JC stared at me for a moment, confused. I almost always picked "dare" in her memory. Smirking, I unfolded my arms, leaning back smugly. I had defeated her. "Hurry up and think of a truth for ZIM, JC-beast," I laughed. "Otherwise I have a SIR that requires its evening walk."

We all waited, the Jendai and the Bast leaning into each other, seeming unable to be apart for more than five seconds. Eventually, the AF leaned on my Tallest as well, looking somewhat sleepy. I was more than shocked to see how easily Tallest Purple allowed this contact-he didn't even seem to notice, in fact. That was another thing that made me uneasy. My Tallest didn't seem to mind the adoration of the female humans and other females of varying races. Although, a lot of females hated the attention of Tallest Red. Why, I am not sure. Upon asking Lyn about it one day, she told me this, "Red's a pervert who only cares about himself. We all hate him. Hand me the hot chocolate mix?" Her words exactly. She also said she could stand Tallest Purple because he was "more of a gentleman" than Tallest Red. This I passed off as non-Irken misunderstanding and ignored it henceforth. Now, bored with waiting for the JC, I studied both the Jendai and my Tallest Purple. They seemed perfectly content with the Bast and the AF almost hanging on them. I fear I will never understand the "emotions" of the Student Class.

Finally, the JC thought of something. "Your truth, Zim," she said, an evil smirk playing over her face. "is to tell all of us exactly how you feel about Lynne!"

I stared. Confound her! Must she constantly torture me about non-existent things at every turn!? As I have already stated, I do not love Lyn! Merely care. There is a vast difference between the emotion "love" which I am forbidden by training, and the act of caring, which I am not forbidden. My eyes brightened. I had decided on a solution to this truth debacle. "I," I began, slowly, building up dramatically as was Invader fashion. "I... CARE about Lyn!"

My timing could not have been worse.

Why must both fate AND the JC torment me at once? What have I done to either of them? Why, at the very moment I announced my truth in my most dramatic of voices, did Lyn herself have to enter my base?

She stared at me, confused for a long moment, then smiled slightly. I felt myself blush. Blasted face! You will be doomed later! Lyn knelt beside me and I felt myself instinctually move away from her. I had a suspicion of her intentions. In this large of a group, such intentions were not a welcomed thing. To my surprise, she merely extended a finger and poked me. "Squeaky," was all she said as she did so.

I squeaked.

An innate Irken reaction to a poke in the squeedily-spooch area. Why this happens, I do not know. All I know is, that it happens, and that these females find it highly humorous to hear me squeak.

They laughed now, the Jendai attempting to hide his mirth while my Tallest did not. I found myself blushing in humiliation. To avoid more of the same, I got to my feet. I ignored the pleas to stay and called for GIR. The SIR fell out of the ceiling, as usual, already dressed in its disguise. How it managed that I shall forever wonder. "Aw, Zim..." I heard behind me as I put my disguise on. I believed it was Lyn speaking, although, once again, I find feminine voices hard to distinguish. "Please stay?"

"No," I snapped. I didn't turn to face whoever it was speaking. GIR was bouncing up and down, making it harder for me to attach its leash to the collar its disguise wore. "GIR BE STILL!" My SIR froze mid-jump. "I refuse to be a part of this idiocy any longer. Go, play your games of daring and truth-telling and I shall be walking my SIR."

"Let him go JC," the Jendai said. "We're bugging him."

"Oh really?" Great, sarcasm from the JC-creature. Just what I wanted to hear.

"Yeah, you can tell because he's strutting more." That comment from the AF. I made a mental note to ignore her for the rest of the week.

"I thought that was how he always walked..." Lyn said this.

"Nah, that's only when we really annoy him."

By that time, I was halfway out the door, GIR in front of me. A few more of the AF's friends were arriving as I left. I had indeed picked a choice time to leave. One was male, and the other female. Aubri, I believed the male's name was. I was not sure about the female... All I knew was that she "cared about" Tallest Red more than any female here. I felt their eyes follow me out the door. Fortunately, they said not a word.

"Zim!"

I stopped, turning around and saluting smartly. Tallest Purple had gotten up from the floor, moving to loom over me from behind. "Yes Sir?" I did not notice GIR, who was attempting to eat one of the attack gnomes' hats.

"If you're going to leave, take Ivy over to that human's house," he ordered. "If we're playing this game, someone-probably me-is liable to get hurt. I don't want her around that." Someone snickered at this, causing the Tallest to glare at those behind him.

"Yes Sir!" I answered. "I will!"

He looked down at me as if he had expected a different answer from me. Then, he shrugged and turned back into the house to call his student. The little green eye came running, as if she had been awaiting this call. She was already wearing the floppy hat she used as her disguise. It covered her curled antennae and managed to hide her eyes at the same time. Being as young as she was, she oft times found it hard to stop, even when on a direct collision course with an Irken Invader. I pretended not to hear the laughs as Ivy rammed into me, sending us both tumbling over the front step and out into the yard. The child was laughing too, obviously unhurt by her fall, although her mirth went unheard by Tallest Purple.

"Ivy!" he cried, bending down to pick her up protectively. She laughed loudly at him, wrapping small arms around his equally small neck. "Are you all right?"

Another light, tinkling laugh from the child. "I'm 'kay!" she said, her voice had the slur of childhood to it, as she was only four Irken years old. "You worries too much!" Did I mention her poor grammar? Well, Student youngsters cannot help their imperfections. I am not clear on the details surrounding little Ivy's appearance. I merely know that she is of the Student Class, and appeared one day in my Tallests' private quarters without any knowledge of her Hatchery. Tallest Purple, being Student, took her as his to teach, and Tallest Red... well, I am not sure about him.

Tallest Purple set the child down next to me. It humiliated me further that, although I was far older than she, she was the taller of us. This irony was never lost on the group watching us from the main room of my base, and thus I took Ivy away quickly, trying to avoid ridicule. "Zim, bring her home after your walk!" I heard my Tallest call after me. "And Ivy! Don't give away too many secrets this time!"

Beside me, walking in the twilight, Ivy muttered something to herself. "Excuse me, my Smallest?" I asked politely. She actually preferred being called "Smallest" to "Taller" even though the latter was far more respectful than the former. "Did you say something?"

"Uh huh," she mumbled, kicking a pebble out of her path. "Pur dun like it how I's always tellin' you an Dib stuffs."

Dib. Blast him. Blast him to steaming bits. Why he became friendly towards my Smallest, and why she returned those feelings, I will never know. He had to be plotting to turn her in to his government or something, but why he hadn't yet was something I could not decipher. I usually just summed it up to the awesome fear of what the Tallest and I would do to him if he did so. Yes, he feared me so. Being feared was delicious. Invaders reveled in this feeling of knowing your enemies feared you so very much. "You tell me things, my Smallest," I said to her. "And the Tallest do not seem to mind that."

She bit her lower lip, a habit adopted from Tallest Purple. "I just... I dun like knowing all dis stuff Zimmy," Ivy said softly. "It's scary..."

"Yes, you have told me before." I patted her shoulder in comfort.

Ivy, is strange. She is, what Lyn and the AF call, an Empath. Meaning, she can sense the emotions of others, and thus know what their thoughts are. More than often she is accurate. And more than often, she hates it. Because, along with this gift, she also has been-in her opinion-cursed with the knowledge of some things that can happen in the future. She is odd, as previously stated. It is the fault of this gift and this curse that she acts so childishly most of the time. All we can do is comfort her and hope that this is only a phase.

"You dun have any idea," she responded, but did not move my hand, only concentrate on GIR. When my SIR tried to eat one of those red water shooter... things, she laughed merrily, her previous mood forgotten. "GIR so silly!"

We walked on, silent, save for GIR. I was quite honestly dreading the meeting of my enemy. Even if it was only to deliver my Smallest. I kept envisioning him leaping out of bushes to destroy both of us and rip GIR to metallic pieces. But he would never do such. He feared me too much. The Earth's sun was gone, twilight turning to dark as streetlights came on. At times like these, I could not help missing Irk somewhat. Earth's night was so... dark... with its singular moon and tiny stars. On Irk, the three moons kept the night bright and... safe, I suppose it felt. In the dark, I felt myself walk a tad faster; my Smallest's boot taps keeping an even rhythm with mine. GIR was far ahead of us. Glancing up, I could have sworn I saw an Irken ship high above. I rubbed my eyes. This dirt rock of a planet was affecting my brain.

But still...

The "sight" of an "Irken ship" brought up memories of unpleasantness. Tak. Yes, you heard me. Tak. That insane female who insists I, ZIM, wronged her many years ago. I believe she is dead now... but one can never be sure of such things. There is a saying among Soldiers. "An Irken's never truly dead until you see the body and rip the backpod off it." A disgusting saying, but a true saying nonetheless. It always made me wonder if one day that Tak would come back to make my mission miserable once again. Although I doubted I would not be able to handle her. Considering how easily she was defeated last time.

My Smallest gave my arm a gentle tug. I looked up at her, shaken from the horrid thought of Tak. "You 'most went past, Zimmy," she said, smiling at me.

I saw it, the disgusting lair of DIB, now, towering above us both. Forcing down my innate revulsion, I led my Smallest up to the front door, dragging GIR with me. I would have rung the bell, if my loathing of this place's filth did not dissuade me from doing so. GIR saved me the trouble of battling with my amazing will. It ran into the door. "TAQUITOS!" it screamed happily, causing my Smallest to giggle brightly.

"Is it possible for you to even go on a simple walk without doing something completely insane!?" I demanded, yanking on the SIR's leash.

GIR got to its feet, tipping its head at me. "I dunnooo!" was all the answer I received.

Before I could further rant at it, the Dib's door opened. My nemesis stared out at us, suspicious, as always, of our un-preceded presence. His suspicion turned to surprise when GIR jumped on his head. I watched, not keeping my mirth from escaping. The DIB didn't run, screaming, as I had hoped, merely stood there attempting to pry GIR off. A method I knew would never work. It took my Smallest's help to get GIR off and back on the ground where it belonged. "Thanks Ivy," the human growled, glaring at me as if I had thrown GIR on his enormous head myself.

"Welcome," my Smallest said with a little smile. She stepped up to the Dib, hugging him. I shuddered in disgust. The only satisfaction of bringing my Smallest to the filthy human's house was seeing how much taller she was than him. "GIR likes your head, Dib-tam."

"Um, yeah... I noticed..." he muttered, hugging her back and glaring at me over her shoulder. "Hello, Zimm..."

My eye twitched. "Hello, DI-buh," was all I could force myself to say. O, how he revolted me! How my Smallest could stand to even be within inches of him was something I failed to understand. And his head...! It was so large I found it hard to believe he did not fall over from being top-heavy! Now, that would have been humorous! Much more so than I, the most amazing of Irken Invaders, squeaking like one of GIR's piggies.

"What are you doing here Zim? Finally give up?"

"Hah! You wish for a thing that will never come."

My Smallest winced at this, tightening her hold on the human. He noticed and glared at me. I merely twitched the corners of my mouth, smirking. "You can go now Zim, you've run your little errand," he snapped, taking my Smallest inside.

"Thanks Zimmy..." I heard her say before the door was slammed. I grinned. Being feared was truly a good thing. GIR began to drag me off again, nearly wrenching the leash from my hand. I was dragged down the cement a few blocks, yelling at the top of my lungs for GIR to stop, before I was able to regain my footing and return to my normal march.

I scanned the sky again. Something was making me wary this night. Something I could not put a claw on. I hoped it was nothing that would threaten the mission. Yes. My mission was all that mattered. But... But if that were true, why did the thought of something threatening my mission feel so... superficial? I shrugged this off. Walking GIR was not a time for such thoughts. Turning my attention to the robot, I continued down the street, marching proudly the entire way.



-------- Tak --------


He had no idea I was watching... not a clue in the slightest. That was precisely the way I wanted things. The insolent male would have no idea of my... shall we say, "not-demise." Which was good. He wouldn't have the faintest idea where this attack had come from. All the better.

Mimi stood attentively to my right, awaiting any order I might give it. I drummed idle fingers. It had taken too long to repair my ship. Time I could have spent working on this plan, which, may I add, was far better than my original one. "Soon, Mimi," I smirked. "Soon ZIM will pay for his humiliating me."

The slightly modified SIR only looked at me, as it usually did. I ignored the brief glance. This plan was so utterly perfect... nothing could go wrong with it. I wished I was able to contact the Tallest and tell them how perfect this NEW plan was. Though they hadn't had much idea who I was last time, they would certainly be pleased once I told them Zim would soon never trouble any Irken again. That is, if they could be found. They had been missing from the Armada for a great deal of time, requiring the appointing of a temporary Tallest in their absence.

Using the influence the human I had made my "father" had, I was going to do something I should have done long ago. No other human would believe the ranting of a mere larva. This I had discovered from that idiotic Dib-stink. The entire reason of my supposed infatuation was to learn this. I would use the influence to bring word to the human government of Zim's true race, complete with infallible evidence, and thus he would be destroyed. It would be easy to claim his mission after that... So easy...

Unconsciously, I laughed. I laughed long and triumphantly.

"You will pay Zim..." I murmured, once I had calmed. "You will pay in ways you never dreamed possible. Because... the way this plan works, you disgusting midget, is that it hurts you and all you care for in more ways than you know..."

Yes, this was my plan. And this was my duty to my race. I would carry it out, even if it killed me.