"What makes you think I have any reasons to offer?" Snape asked him after a long pause.

Harry's thoughts whirled. He hated how Snape always demanded cold, detached logic, when all Harry had were illogical, jumbled emotions.

"Why else would Sirius find it necessary to come here and threaten you?" he finally said.

It was a better argument than Snape must have expected. Harry saw that he had the upper hand, and continued hurriedly.

"I mean, if you didn't want me, he wouldn't be worried, would he?"

"He wasn't concerned about me. He was concerned about you."

Harry saw the flaw in that argument.

"Then why did he try to threaten you into rejecting me, if he was so sure you'd do it on your own?"

Snape frowned for a moment.

"Black is an irrational man."

After what he had heard, Harry couldn't help agreeing, but out loud he said, "I don't think so. I think he was worried you would give in to me."

Snape gave him a glare, but it seemed to lack something. Harry met his eyes, challenging him. Under the pressure, Snape tried an old tactic.

"Your arrogance knows no bounds, Mr. Potter," he sneered. "I'm sure it never occurred to you that someone might not be thrilled at the prospect of being your guardian."

"You know that's not true!" Harry protested. It had been less than two years since he had felt wanted for the first time that he could remember -- by Sirius.

Snape raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Alright," Snape conceded suddenly, "I will tell you what had Black so worried."

Harry looked at him suspiciously. Was Snape going to tell the truth? The expression on his face was unreadable.

"Whether you appreciated it or not," Snape looked as if the answer to that was quite obvious, "I have tried my best to protect you -- usually from yourself -- since the day you arrived at this school."

Harry remembered the incident at a Quidditch game when Professor Quirrell had jinxed his broom and Snape kept him from falling more than fifty feet to the ground. He recalled also, though grudgingly, that Snape had gone after him into the Shrieking Shack, when he had every reason to believe that Sirius was a dangerous Dark Wizard intent on killing Harry and anyone who stood in the way.

"Black has always been irrational," Snape continued. "Dangerous to himself and to everyone around him. Notorious for his outbursts whenever he didn't get his way. He hasn't changed. . . even Lupin sees it." He gave Harry a piercing glance as he finished, obviously under the assumption that Lupin's opinion meant more to Harry than his own.

"I would. . ." Snape looked very sour as he said this, "take you. . . to keep you from his influence," he finished and leaned back against the desk behind him, as if suddenly needing the support.

Harry looked at him mutely.

Snape would take him.

Yes, but not for the reasons Harry had wanted.

He had to swallow a lump that rose in his throat.

The situation had just taken a decisive turn for the worse. Harry found himself caught between two men, one who believed he already owned him, and one who would take him for a reason that amounted to revenge against the other.

He felt a prickling behind his eyes.

"I think I've heard enough," he said, in a strangely steady and emotionless voice that did not sound like his own. "It's late, I'm going back to the dormitory."

Snape looked confused.

Harry walked out of the office and fled upstairs, not stopping until he had reached the seventh floor.

There, his steps slowed.

He had to pass Lupin's office to get to the Gryffindor common room. Without looking, he could feel that Lupin was there, waiting for him. The door was open, there was no way to slip by unseen.

Suddenly he remembered his cloak, still in his pocket. He threw it around himself, and began to walk, as quietly as he could, toward the Fat Lady's portrait at the end of the hallway. He passed Lupin's office, not daring to look inside, and quickened his pace.

"Harry?" Lupin called after him from the office doorway.

Harry turned around slowly. Damn werewolf senses. Lupin must have smelled him.

"Harry, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine," Lupin continued. "But I want you to know that I'm here."

Harry considered for a moment, then pulled off his cloak and faced Lupin, who motioned for him to step inside the office.

The door closed behind them. Harry sat down, looking at the floor.

"Where is he?" he asked before Lupin could even sit down in the chair in front of him.

"Sirius?" Lupin repeated. "With Professor Dumbledore."

Harry sighed. Was there no way to keep Dumbledore out of this?

"I know what you heard must have been. . . upsetting," Lupin tried to catch Harry's eyes, but Harry continued to stare at the floor. "Sirius is. . ." Lupin made a helpless gesture as he searched for the right words.

"Irrational? Dangerous? Temperamental?" Harry demanded. "That's what Snape said."

Lupin sighed heavily. "He may be right. Twelve years in Azkaban are something to consider, but even before. . ." his voice trailed off again.

"He would be a bad influence on me?"

Lupin nodded slowly.

"Seeing that you are already quite rash yourself, it's likely that he would be." Lupin met Harry's eyes, looking apologetic. "He cares about you, Harry, he really does. Unfortunately, he may not be the most stable guardian for you, and he might. . . lose sight of what is best for you."

"You think I would be better off with Snape?"

"Has he made you that offer?" Lupin asked, looking surprised.

"He said he has always tried to protect me," Harry told him, "and he would take me to protect me from Sirius."

Lupin frowned, and stayed silent.

"I don't like it either," Harry said, matching Lupin's frown.

"I'm afraid you are the only one who can make that choice, Harry," Lupin told him.

That wasn't the answer Harry had been looking for. He made it back to the dormitory, somehow avoiding Ron and Hermione's questions, and tried to sort out his jumbled thoughts.

At least Sirius wanted him! he thought angrily. But Snape wanted what was best for him, a voice inside him countered quickly. It would be a lot easier living with Sirius. Or would it, after what he had heard?

It was no use. An impossible choice. They balanced each other out, with good qualities as well as bad. Just a few weeks ago, had anyone asked him to compare Sirius and Snape, Harry would have laughed at the absurdity of the question. He could only wish that things were still that simple. Harry rebelled against the idea of being owned by someone, just as he couldn't bear the thought of being raised by someone out of a feeling of duty. Hadn't he had enough of that at the Dursleys?

He turned to the wall, willing his thoughts to stop.

He couldn't make the choice.