The next few months passed and it was harder than Julie had every anticipated. The morning sickness that did not always come in the mornings. That lasted until the end of the third month. Nothing hardly would stay on her stomach. Not only was being so sick hard, but being so alone was hard. There wasn't really anyone she could go to. She did have Connie and some of the other Ducks, but they were all busy with the team. Which was climbing even higher on the ladder to their most successful season at Eden Hall. Portman, well he wasn't anywhere to be seen. He might as well been living a thousand miles away because it felt like he was.
The two of the them rarely spoke and if they did speak on those rare occasion it was always brief. Mostly just the latest news on the Ducks success and graduation. The pregnancy was never mentioned. Julie tried to bring it up a few times, but eventually dropped the subject whenever she did talk to Portman because it was no use to bring it up. He'd always change the subject. To him it was if it weren't happening.
The whispers and the gossip eventually died down much to Julie's delight. This allowed Julie the chance to try and return to a normal life. If that were at all possible. Well as normal as one as she could. She wanted her life to be normal. It helped her to not think about the baby and how alone she felt.
Trying to be a normal teenager worked out alright for the first few months, but once the second trimester began it started to get a little tougher. By month five Julie was already beginning to show. She hide it as best she could. Big t-shirts and that short of thing. The saying "out of sight out of mind" is not always true. Even now being five months and starting to show Julie managed to find ways to stay detached from the pregnancy. But it couldn't last forever, could it?
Another month passed and there was no hiding it now. Julie looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She longed for the days when she could see her feet. She couldn't remember the last time she could see her feet or bend over for that matter. Everything was starting to hurt now. Her back hurt, and her neck seemed to be so tense lately. The only other time she could recall aching like this was after a long day of practice or an intense game. Her neck and back hurt almost constantly, and her ankles swelled up like melons. She was ready for this to be over. Yet she still had three more months. Being six months brought along new sensations that most mothers would have been thrilled to experience, but Julie was not as thrilled as most. She was trying so hard to not get attached to this child, and she felt the way to do that was by not allowing herself to enjoy the wonders of pregnancy.
She was sitting in study hall one day trying to concrete on the work she had in front of her and not on the person sitting behind her. Which happened to be Portman. He was goofing off like usual. Making passes at the other girls in the room. The usual Portman antics. Julie was tuning him out just fine, but there was another distraction she wasn't able to ignore as easily.
She was looking over some notes when she felt this odd feeling. It felt like a light tap on her stomach. She cocked her head to the side in a curious manner and placed one hand on the spot where she had felt the sensation. "Hmm…must be indigestion." She thought, but then she felt it again. "That's not indigestion." A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, and she almost jumped out of her seat and shouted. "It kicked…" She didn't do that. She shook her head and removed her hand. She went back to the notes that lay before her.
She felt the baby kick a few more times that day, but just like the first time she did not let it have much of an affect on her emotions. Even that night as she was trying to go to sleep she felt it again. She laid her hands on her belly and sighed. "Please…don't kick anymore. I can't take it."
It wasn't only the kicking that Julie tried to ignore emotionally. It was everything. When she saw the ultrasound pictures and heard the heart beat she quickly pushed all emotions away. She even refused to find out the sex. That way it was less real to her. She didn't have to have think of this baby as a real being if she didn't know what it was.
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This worked throughout the sixth and seventh months, but during the eight month things began to change. Julie caught herself thinking more and more about the baby. She even caught herself talking to it.
She had gone back to the park. She didn't dare sit on the swings now for fear of breaking them down. She gotten fairly large. So, instead she found a nice bench she could sit on think and just relax. She was sitting here on this day in March. It was a beautiful spring day. "Hi, baby…" she smiled. "I should think of something better to call you other than baby. But I don't know what you are. I wish you here already. I don't know how much more of this pregnancy I can take. Besides it's spring now and everything is just so beautiful and I bet your parents would love to meet you." That thought brought a frown to Julie's face. "They're so excited to have you come into their lives. I'm happy that I could make their long time dream come true."
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Finally, she was just three weeks away from her due date. If she could just hold out a little longer it would all be over and she could go on with her life. She couldn't wait for it. She didn't want to be pregnant anymore. Despite her eagerness for the pregnancy to end she was starting to slip. She was starting to really care about this kid, and was thinking more and more about it.
At night she would lay awake and place her hands on her stomach and feel the baby move until it feel asleep. She assumed it was sleeping because the movements became less and less. When she would feel the kicks she couldn't help but smile. If that wasn't enough she broke down at her last ultrasound and decided she wanted to know the sex.
"Julie everything looks great. The baby's got a strong heart beat, and it's already turned into the correct position for the birth." Dr. Wills informed with a smile. Julie smiled and looked at the monitor. "Dr. Wills, I want to know the sex." Dr. Wills turned from the monitor to look at Julie. "Are you sure?" Julie nodded . "Very well…" He studied the monitor and looked back at Julie. "It's a boy."
Julie left the office unable to stop smiling. A boy. It was a boy. A little Portman. Julie had to stop and remind herself that this wasn't her baby. Well it was, but she wasn't going to be the one raising him. A thought of what it may be like to actually keep him and raise him crossed her mind, but she was supposed to meet the lady from the adoption agency and that brought her back to reality quickly. She was going to meet her a café, but Julie was early so she order a glass of water and waited. The whole time she waited she kept thinking about the baby. Who would he look like, what would he be when he grew up? He was now a real person to her. A living breathing life form. By the time the adoption lady arrived Julie had the baby named.
They discussed the family that was going to be adopting Julie's baby. They were a local family there in Minnesota. The father ran his own business from home, and the mother was a kindergarten teacher. It sounded like a picture perfect family. Julie only had one small request. "Can I make a request? I want to name the baby. I want the family to use the name I give the baby at birth." The adoption lady sighed and made a note on her paper work. "I'll talk the family. See what I can do." Julie smiled. "Thank you."