Two years. Two and half to be more exact. It felt more like a life time though to Julie. Her plans to move back to Minnesota after Coby turned one had taken longer than she had planned. It was a year and a half later. It was the beginning of the spring semester when Julie finally moved back there.
Minnesota looked like she remembered. Julie laughed to herself at the thought. Surly it couldn't have changed that dramatically. She had enrolled in a college for 12 credit hours. That gave her two classes everyday of the week. Each worth 3 credit hours. She was even lucky enough that all the courses she had taken in Maine transferred over to the school here. To add to her luck she found a two bedroom apartment at a reasonable cost located just ten minutes from the school.
Julie sighed with contentment when she walked into her new apartment. All the boxes were unpacked and everything was in order. She had come down on week to get the apartment all set up and ready to live in before she moved to stay and brought Coby. He spent that week with his grandparents. It gave her a much needed break and a chance to get everything in order without having to run after him.
She looked around the apartment again and smiled at Coby who she had propped on her hip. "What do you think?" Coby squirmed in Julie's arms. "Down….Put me down!" Julie sat him down and shook her head. "There Mr. Impatient." As soon as he was on the floor he took off. Running through every room. He was like a kid set loose in a candy shop. "My toys!" he shouted when he ran into his new room. Then next thing she heard was the sound of toys being strewn about the room.
During that week Julie spent getting the apartment ready she had meet a girl that leaved a couple of doors down from her, she even went to the same school as Julie The two of them became fast friends and she even informed Julie about the day care on campus where she could take Coby while she as in class.
Hey Julie! I see you're finally all moved in." Samantha greeted from the door way. "Hey Sam, yeah it's all done finally. Come on in." Sam stepped in and shut the door. "I hear you used to play some hockey." Julie nodded. "Yeah I played until I got pregnant. Why?" Sam shrugged. "Oh nothing really. I just have some extra tickets to the game on Saturday. " The hockey season would be coming to end soon and now there championship games being played. "Thought may be you might like to go, and take Coby. It'd be good chance to get out and meet people." Meet people? Was Sam already trying to play match maker. So, what if Julie hadn't been in a relationship in two years. It wasn't a crime. "Oh…okay…I'll go. Coby will love it, he loves hockey."
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The week had gone well. Julie's classes seemed easy enough. A lot of reading was going to be involved it looked like, but other wise not too hard. Coby did well with the day care. There wasn't too much separation anxiety on his part at least, but Julie hated leaving him.
Friday was the roughest day. Coby was being extra clingy to Julie. She was trying to drop him off at day care so she could get to class and he was throwing a fit. He wrapped his legs and her and wrapped his arms around her neck so right he almost choked her. "Coby honey…mommy has to go to class. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Then tonight we're going to see the hockey game." Coby cried and tightened his grip on Julie. "No!! I wanna stay wid you mommy…..don't go!" Julie rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. "Coby sweet heart. I'd love to stay with you, but I have to go to class right now. I'll be back soon." He shook his head and tears streamed down his cheeks. "No! Stay mommy pweeze….."
Julie finally managed to get Coby off her and sat him on the floor. "Coby listen to me. I'll be back in a little while okay. I thought you liked it here?" Coby's lip quivered and he gave her the saddest face she'd ever seen. "Mommy..pweess….stay wid me." Julie gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. "I can't baby. But I'll see you in a couple hours. I love you." She pulled away and headed to the door. "Mommy!!!!!!!" Coby screamed after her.
Julie felt awful leaving him like that , but she couldn't miss class. Which she ended up being late for anyway. She sat in psychology and all of a sudden she found herself thinking about Dean. She wondered how he was doing. How he was doing in school, in hockey, in life." May be I should look him up now that I'm in Minnesota. What could it hurt? Besides me and possibly Coby." She managed to get him out of her head long enough to get through the rest of the class. The teacher dismissed them early and Julie headed on to her second and final class for the day.
hen she got to the room there was a note on the door indicating that class was canceled for that day. "That's great." she muttered with annoyance and relief. "Well now I can get Coby and get home and get some things done before the game tonight."
She got back to the day care and Coby was sitting in a rocking chair with on of the teachers. "How'd he do?" Julie asked as she signed him out. The other teacher smiled. "He's been sitting with Ann all morning. Poor thing." Julie smiled back. "Yeah, it's been one of those days all morning." Julie walked over to Ann and smiled. "Hi…Coby hi sweet heart are you ready to go home." Coby reached out for Julie and she took him in her arms and held him close. He laid his head on her shoulder and sucked his thumb. She rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. "Let's go home."
Even the car ride home was a hassle. Julie had to fight Coby to get him in his car seat. He kicked and screamed and cried the whole time she was buckling him in. "Man…somebody has a temper. I wonder who you got that from." she smirked. "Finally, you're all buckled in." Julie climbed in and drove home with Coby screaming and crying the whole way.
When she got home she sat Coby on the couch and gave him a sippy cup full of milk. "Want to watch video?" She turned on the TV. She didn't like letting him watch a lot of TV, but some of the kids shows she would let him watch. Coby nodded. "Bear!" Julie crinkled her forehead. "Bear?" she thought. Then the light bulb went off In her head. "Bear…okay. You can watch bear." she flipped through the channels until she found. "Bear in the Big Blue House." She walked over to the table and sat down to do some reading and homework while Coby watched the show. About five minutes later Coby looked over the back of the couch. "Mama, watch wid me." Julie looked over at him. She couldn't help but smile at that face. He was so cute. He looked more and more like Portman everyday. Those big brown eyes could melt even the coldest heart. She closed her book and went back to the couch sitting down next to Coby. "Yeah I'll watch with you." Coby climbed into Julie's lap and laid his head on her chest. She wrapped one arm around him and with her other hand she rubbed his back and in no time at all he was fast asleep. She held him for a while longer than quietly got up and covered him up and let him sleep.
When Coby woke up he was somewhat over his cranky spell. "Well I'm glad to see you're in a better mood. Are you hungry? " Coby nodded and climbed into Julie's lap. "Yes pweess…." Julie stood up and sat Coby in the chair. "Peanut butter and Jelly with some milk?" Coby smiled and nodded excitedly. "Yeah…yeah.."
Julie fixed them both something to eat. And then before she knew it she needed to get ready to go to the game. "Coby…bath time." Coby shook his head. "No!!" Julie picked him up kicking and screaming. "Yes." She was soaked by the time he was done. She got him ready. He looked adorable. In his jeans and black turtleneck which he wore underneath an Old Navy Hockey Jersey.
At 5:45 Sam came to pick them up. The game started at 6:30, so they
needed to be on their way if they were to get a good parking spot.
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Portman got off the bus with the rest of his teammates. This was their last away game. After this game they had the next two weeks off. Which as great. He was wore out. Actually studying and then going to practice everyday Dean was exhausted.
Not only was school getting to him, but each day it seemed like he thought about Julie more. He'd almost picked up the phone to call her. Not knowing that she was back in Minnesota. Not only was he thinking about her, he was thinking about their kid. As far as he could guess he'd be around two years old now.
Julie and Coby and Sam reached the arena and found their seats. They were pretty good seats. She sat Coby on her lap who was just in awe of the whole thing. When the teams came out to do their warm up laps Coby's eye's never left the ice. "Mommy..wook….." Julie looked out and her mouth dropped open. "Oh my god…..it can't be.." But there he was. Still had the same number. Portman 21. Sam looked at Julie. "Julie you look like you just saw a ghost? What's wrong." Julie shook her head. And pointed. "That's him. Number 21...Portman..that's him." Sam still looked confused. "Him who…" Julie pointed at him again then motioned towards Coby. "That's Dean Portman…that's Coby's father."
The game started and Julie rooted for her school. But she still couldn't get over the shock of seeing Dean. She wasn't only the one in for a shock. Dean was being his usual self. He was slamming people left and right. He checked one guy into the boards and when he looked up his eyes grew wide and he did a double take and shook his head. "No it' couldn't be. She's living in Maine." He looked back again. "That's got to be Julie…and…" his gaze finally caught the little boy on Julie's lap. "My son?" While he was staring into the stands he didn't see the guy skating up behind him. The next thing he knew he was checked hard into the boards. Julie winced, "Ouch…that had to hurt." Dean got up and went after the guy. This of course got him a two minute penalty.
When he was let out of the plenty box the coach put him on the bench for the remainder of the period. Fulton was there to back him up like always. "Dude, what are starring at?" Dean looked pale and actually nervous. "Dude…you won't believe it, but Julie's in the stands, and she's got our son." Fulton stood up to try and get a better look. "Dude, you gotta be joking. Where is she?" Portman pointed up into the stands. "Over there behind that chick with the red hair." Fulton looked up. "Shit…it is Julie. Do you think she knows you're playing?" Portman shrugged. "Well she does now."
After seeing Julie, Portman could hardly concentrate on the game. He kept looking up into the stands whenever he could still a glance. "Oh god…he's seen us." Julie thought. "What do I do now?" Sam smiled. "You realize you said that out loud?" Julie shook her head. "Huh? Oh!" Sam smiled again. "Yeah…and I say you go talk to him and show him that beautiful little boy he's been missing out on." Julie shook her head. "I don't think so Sam. I'm not ready for that."
The visitors won. Julie actually caught herself cheering and shouting for them. "Yeah!! Wohoo!!" Sam gave her a look. "You're not ready to talk to him, but you're rooting for him." Julie glared. "He's got talent I'll give him credit for that. But…" Julie took Coby by the hand and started to walk out. "You know I'm right Julie." Sam smirked from behind her.
They tried to leave, but the crowds were so heavy they had to wait forever. Which was fine with Sam. It gave her a chance to flirt with this really cute guy she had been talking to earlier. Julie sat on a bench and waited while Coby ran around checking everything out. Julie had to call him down several times, but it didn't do any good. A few minutes later he'd be right back at what ever he had been doing. Now he was just running around, and Julie's patience were wearing thin.
Portman sat in the locker room still trying to make sense of the whole thing. What was Julie doing back in Minnesota? He couldn't figure it out. He thought he 'd try to go find her, so he headed out of the locker room.
About this time Coby pulled away from Julie's grasp and took off running. "Coby Michael Portman!" she shouted as she took out after him. "Get back here!" Coby thought the whole thing was funny and he kept running and laughing. As he ran down the hall Portman was walking up. The next thing he knew he felt something or someone run into him. Coby fell back on his bottom and looked up at Portman. "Me sorrwee…." Portman looked down into a pair a brown eyes and a tiny face that was remarkable a lot like him.
Portman knelt down in front of Coby. "Hey buddy, it's okay. What are you doing by yourself huh? Where's your mommy?" Coby pointed over to Julie. "Mommy is right dere." Dean looked up and saw Julie sitting there. He took Coby's hand and walked back over to her. "I believe you lost something." Julie gave Coby a scolding look. "Coby you don't run off from me like that. It scares me." She took his hand and looked at Portman.
"Thank you…Now if you'll excuse me I'll be right back." She took Coby over to where Sam was standing talking to some guy. She asked Sam to keep a close eye on Coby while she talked to Portman.
Dean ran a hand through his hair. For the first time he didn't know what to do or what to say. "It's good to see you Julie. You look great." Julie bit her lip. "Yeah…it's good to see you again too." Dean looked away trying to find something good to say. He looked back over to where Julie had taken Coby. "He's a cute kid. You've done a good job with him it appears." Julie nodded. "Thanks…Coby is a pretty great kid."
There was a long moment of silence. Neither one knew what to say. "Julie I'm sorry. I've been such an ass. And so stupid. Can you forgive me?" Julie almost laughed. "Forgive you? Why should I forgive you?" Portman ran his hand through his hair again. "Julie I made a mistake. I made some bad choices. I want to change that. I love you Julie."
Julie folded her arms and shook her head. "I've heard that before. You love me huh? Where was that love two and a half years ago?" She shook her head. "Now you want to change things. Things can't be changed Dean. What's done is done." Portman blinked and sighed. "Julie please. I haven't stopped thinking about you. You're all I think about. I miss you." Julie didn't say much. "You think about me? What about Coby? Have you ever thought about him?" Portman sighed and looked at the ground. "Yeah actually I have thought about him. Julie I missed his first two years, can I be there for the rest. I don't want to miss anything else."
Julie narrowed her gaze. "NOW you want to be a part of his life. Now after almost three years. Why in the hell should I do that. Where were you when I needed you most? Where were when I was pregnant, when I had to go through the pain of not having Coby. I needed you then, we needed you then. But I have done just fine without YOU. I don't need you anymore. And Coby's been fine without you." Now it was Dean's turn to glare. "Damn it Jules like it or not I'm his father and I think he should get to know me, and I want to get to know him. Julie I was young the thought of raising a kid scared me to death. I didn't want to screw up and be a bad father." Julie rolled her eyes. "So, you decided not to be one at all…" Portman nodded. "Yeah I guess so. But Julie I want to make up for that if you would just let me."
Julie stood there silently. For so long she had wanted Portman to say that he wanted to be in the picture, but now that he was actually saying it she wasn't as happy as she would have thought she would be. "So, I should just confuse him by suddenly bringing this stranger into his life and telling him oh Coby this is your father that you've never seen?" Portman leaned against the wall. "No Julie, that's not…I don't know what you should do, but you'll have to tell him sooner or later. Why not let him get to know me now while he's still young enough." Julie started to say something else but was cut off. "Julie! Coming your way!" Sam shouted. Julie turned around to see Coby running towards her. As soon as he got close enough he reached his arms up to her and she picked him up. He laid his head on her shoulder and looked at Portman.
Portman watched Julie with Coby and wished he could go back be there from the beginning. He kept looking at Coby and he felt tears forming in his eyes. "Julie, do you think I could hold him?" Julie looked down at Coby. "You can give it try, he's been real clingy the last few days so he may not let you." Portman nodded willing to take the risk. He reached out and took Coby out of Juile's arms. Coby wined a little and cried for Julie. "Momma…" Portman started to walk around and talk to him. "Hey buddy, it's okay. I'm an old friend of your mom's. I just wanted to see you. " Coby began to calm down. He rubbed his eyes and eventually laid his head on Dean's shoulder. Portman rested his cheek on top of Coby's head.
Julie watched the two of them and was amazed at how good Portman was being with him. She looked and she had to squint her eyes to get a better look. Was that what she thought it was. It was. There was a tear rolling down Portman's cheek. As much as a part of her still hurt, and wanted to be angry at Portman looking at him now she didn't think she could stop him from being in Coby's life, even if she really wanted to do. She walked over to them. Placing a kiss on Coby's forehead she smiled at Dean. "He's fast asleep. You're a natural. He'll be out the rest of the night." Dean smiled back. "Really well….does that mean…." Julie nodded. "Yeah, come back by my apartment tomorrow and well work on getting initiated as an official father."