Author's Notes:
This story is based on a dream I had...in which I was the "she". However, in keeping with the spirit of fanfic, I changed myself to Hermione, since she is the only character I could ever possibly allow to be with my beautiful Severus. A note...in reading the story, you will have to accept as true a couple of things that aren't. Mainly that Hermione is in Snape's House. Also, the referred to third party--whom shall remain nameless *wink wink*--actually left after book two. But since he was the "substitute" in my dream, he's still around at this much later date. Finally, this was originally intended to be a single-part story, but as you can see, it multiplied. This is the final version...enjoy! :)
Disclaimer:
This part of the story doesn't actually refer to the characters by name, but I'll tack on a disclaimer anyway, just to be safe. They ain't mine! Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are the products of the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling.
Archiving:
Please do not archive this story anywhere else without asking me first. You are welcome to link to it at ff.net.
What Lingers Here
*Part One*
By Aezara He moved so...deliberately. Slow, measured, with an almost feline grace. He made it impossible to look away, even had she wanted to. There was no other way to describe it: he was beautiful. Like a hawk in flight, she thought. And it was a good analogy, really. Predatory, but with an unexpected gentleness. And unreachable. He was as impossible to catch as a wild bird. All she could do was watch him through the binoculars of her heart. Watch, and wish. She had been watching him for close to five years now. Five years...it seemed like fifty when one was forced to do nothing but watch. Her longing for him had grown almost painful. And now...now she knew that it was more. The last time she had been alone with him, she had almost said it. Almost...but still, a bit too close for comfort. It was easy to find ways to be alone with him. Teacher, advisor; in every way he was someone that she could go to legitimately with nearly any problem. Except that her reasons were rarely legitimate. And she never told him her real problem. She had never, could never, tell him that she was in love with him. Silence can wear on the heart, though, and she supposed she had become a bit depressed. But none of that matters. Not anymore, she told herself. In just a few months she would be leaving, and she could begin to put the pieces of her life back together. Without him around, there would be nothing to love. Right? Damn, I hope so. But for now, here he was in front of her, waiting for her to speak. God, he's incredible. She shook her head slightly to clear it, trying to remember why she was here in his office this time. Oh yeah...this time I really do have a reason. "Sir, you asked me to keep an eye on things while you were gone. Er...do you want to know what's been going on?" He gazed at her levelly, measuring, as always, each word he spoke. "I think I have a reasonable idea. However, I am curious...you seem a bit ill at ease. Has something occurred that I am unaware of?" She bit her lip, not quite knowing how to respond. She was, after all, talking about one of his colleagues. "Well...I don't want to sound disrespectful, but..." He chuckled, catching her by surprise. "If it concerns my temporary replacement as Head of House, you need not worry about disrespect. At the risk of being accused of speaking ill of my...contemporaries, I hardly expect that things ran smoothly under his advisement." She smiled, unable to hide a small sigh of relief. "No, sir, they did not. It was...well, to be perfectly honest, it was a disaster. I think I was the only one who managed to stay in my room after curfew..." She stopped, realizing how self-serving those words might sound. After a short pause in which she tried to collect her thoughts, she continued. "There were at least two parties that I am aware of, and I am fairly certain that people weren't just drinking punch." She stopped again, realizing for the first time why the term "teacher's pet" had haunted her for seven years. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to imply that I was the only one who didn't break the rules...I'm sure there were quite a few others as well...I just..." She gave up. He shook his head. "I understand perfectly. You simply want me to know that my substitute was either unaware of these trespasses or chose to look the other way?" She nodded. "I assumed as much. And as for your other concern...no, I do not see you as a student who is kissing up to the teacher." He smiled at the look of surprise on her face. "My dear, you wear your thoughts in your eyes." Her heart started to pound. If that was true...if he really could tell what she was thinking...Oh god... Unconsciously, she reached out and touched him gently on the hand. "I...we have really missed you these last few weeks." He looked down, taking in the sight of her hand on his own, and then raised his eyes to her face. Her stomach turned as she saw a look of comprehension pass through his eyes. She withdrew her hand quickly and stood, preparing to make a rapid retreat. As she turned to the door, ready to run, she felt his hand rest softly on her arm. "Wait..." He whispered. "Tell me." She was afraid to turn, afraid to move, terrified of what she would see in his face if she looked at him. But she did, and all she saw was wonder. It's too late now...I can't get out of this. God, how did I screw this up so badly? He laid his hand gently on her cheek, and said again, "Tell me." She stared at him, petrified. Her brain seemed frozen, refusing to allow a single phrase to pass her lips. She tried to think of something, anything, that could possibly get her off the hook, but nothing came. Finally, her mouth opened against her will, and she heard herself whisper, as if from a distance, "I love you." Shock hit her like cold water, and her skin went all over gooseflesh. She turned, wanting nothing more than to get away, get out of this room, get away from the feeling that her heart was breaking inside her chest. But he stopped her again with a touch on the arm, turning her back towards him as he did so. He brushed her hair back from her face, and looked at her for a long moment. She found that she couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. Her mind still like ice, it took her several seconds to realize that he was lifting her face towards his. Their lips met, and she suddenly felt alive again. A warmth she had never before known spread slowly through her body. His arms went around her, and she felt as though she was melting into him. All that mattered in the world was this moment, this kiss. She vaguely became aware of a sound, soft but persistent, and growing louder. She tried to ignore it, to lose herself in him again, but inevitably her head turned, seeking the source of the interruption. When she turned back to him, he was simply standing, watching her. She looked into his eyes, knowing. And waiting. She opened her eyes, unaware of the tears that had soaked her pillow. She turned off the alarm and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. I'll be waiting forever.
*Part One*
By Aezara He moved so...deliberately. Slow, measured, with an almost feline grace. He made it impossible to look away, even had she wanted to. There was no other way to describe it: he was beautiful. Like a hawk in flight, she thought. And it was a good analogy, really. Predatory, but with an unexpected gentleness. And unreachable. He was as impossible to catch as a wild bird. All she could do was watch him through the binoculars of her heart. Watch, and wish. She had been watching him for close to five years now. Five years...it seemed like fifty when one was forced to do nothing but watch. Her longing for him had grown almost painful. And now...now she knew that it was more. The last time she had been alone with him, she had almost said it. Almost...but still, a bit too close for comfort. It was easy to find ways to be alone with him. Teacher, advisor; in every way he was someone that she could go to legitimately with nearly any problem. Except that her reasons were rarely legitimate. And she never told him her real problem. She had never, could never, tell him that she was in love with him. Silence can wear on the heart, though, and she supposed she had become a bit depressed. But none of that matters. Not anymore, she told herself. In just a few months she would be leaving, and she could begin to put the pieces of her life back together. Without him around, there would be nothing to love. Right? Damn, I hope so. But for now, here he was in front of her, waiting for her to speak. God, he's incredible. She shook her head slightly to clear it, trying to remember why she was here in his office this time. Oh yeah...this time I really do have a reason. "Sir, you asked me to keep an eye on things while you were gone. Er...do you want to know what's been going on?" He gazed at her levelly, measuring, as always, each word he spoke. "I think I have a reasonable idea. However, I am curious...you seem a bit ill at ease. Has something occurred that I am unaware of?" She bit her lip, not quite knowing how to respond. She was, after all, talking about one of his colleagues. "Well...I don't want to sound disrespectful, but..." He chuckled, catching her by surprise. "If it concerns my temporary replacement as Head of House, you need not worry about disrespect. At the risk of being accused of speaking ill of my...contemporaries, I hardly expect that things ran smoothly under his advisement." She smiled, unable to hide a small sigh of relief. "No, sir, they did not. It was...well, to be perfectly honest, it was a disaster. I think I was the only one who managed to stay in my room after curfew..." She stopped, realizing how self-serving those words might sound. After a short pause in which she tried to collect her thoughts, she continued. "There were at least two parties that I am aware of, and I am fairly certain that people weren't just drinking punch." She stopped again, realizing for the first time why the term "teacher's pet" had haunted her for seven years. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to imply that I was the only one who didn't break the rules...I'm sure there were quite a few others as well...I just..." She gave up. He shook his head. "I understand perfectly. You simply want me to know that my substitute was either unaware of these trespasses or chose to look the other way?" She nodded. "I assumed as much. And as for your other concern...no, I do not see you as a student who is kissing up to the teacher." He smiled at the look of surprise on her face. "My dear, you wear your thoughts in your eyes." Her heart started to pound. If that was true...if he really could tell what she was thinking...Oh god... Unconsciously, she reached out and touched him gently on the hand. "I...we have really missed you these last few weeks." He looked down, taking in the sight of her hand on his own, and then raised his eyes to her face. Her stomach turned as she saw a look of comprehension pass through his eyes. She withdrew her hand quickly and stood, preparing to make a rapid retreat. As she turned to the door, ready to run, she felt his hand rest softly on her arm. "Wait..." He whispered. "Tell me." She was afraid to turn, afraid to move, terrified of what she would see in his face if she looked at him. But she did, and all she saw was wonder. It's too late now...I can't get out of this. God, how did I screw this up so badly? He laid his hand gently on her cheek, and said again, "Tell me." She stared at him, petrified. Her brain seemed frozen, refusing to allow a single phrase to pass her lips. She tried to think of something, anything, that could possibly get her off the hook, but nothing came. Finally, her mouth opened against her will, and she heard herself whisper, as if from a distance, "I love you." Shock hit her like cold water, and her skin went all over gooseflesh. She turned, wanting nothing more than to get away, get out of this room, get away from the feeling that her heart was breaking inside her chest. But he stopped her again with a touch on the arm, turning her back towards him as he did so. He brushed her hair back from her face, and looked at her for a long moment. She found that she couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. Her mind still like ice, it took her several seconds to realize that he was lifting her face towards his. Their lips met, and she suddenly felt alive again. A warmth she had never before known spread slowly through her body. His arms went around her, and she felt as though she was melting into him. All that mattered in the world was this moment, this kiss. She vaguely became aware of a sound, soft but persistent, and growing louder. She tried to ignore it, to lose herself in him again, but inevitably her head turned, seeking the source of the interruption. When she turned back to him, he was simply standing, watching her. She looked into his eyes, knowing. And waiting. She opened her eyes, unaware of the tears that had soaked her pillow. She turned off the alarm and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. I'll be waiting forever.