Chapter 9. Whisky
"O'Neill."
"Teal'c."
"I believe it would be appropriate to hold a celebration in honour of Daniel Jackson."
"You can only hold a wake if someone is actually dead," Jack pointed out.
"The last wake we held for Daniel he was still alive."
"Okay, so that was an exception."
"I believe it will be of assistance," Teal'c pressed on.
"I don't follow?"
"You and Major Carter are experiencing difficulties dealing with Daniel's ascension."
"Hey I'm handling it fine," Jack's temper flared as it had done on many occasions over the past month and Teal'c doing his 'I told you so' eyebrow rise did nothing to help him calm down. "If Carter has a problem well then that's her… problem," Jack continued. "But personally I'm fine with the situation. Daniel's gone, he's not dead, he may even come back. End of story."
"I do not think that you are," said Teal'c.
"Leave it," snapped Jack, storming out of the mess in search of somewhere quieter.
Okay so maybe he wasn't handling the situation particularly well but throwing a whacking great party wasn't going to help. Not him anyway. Screw it; if Teal'c and Carter wanted to throw a wake they could count him out. And that other guy, Jonas, would probably be there which was all the more reason for Jack not to be, he was the one person Jack was working very hard on pretending didn't exist at all.
Jack's pacing led him subconsciously to Daniel's old workroom, the place that had become his escape from the world outside, where he could still feel close to his missing friend, provided of course that outsider wasn't there ahead of him, working his way through all Daniel's mass of research. However on this occasion, instead of peace and quiet he found two large cardboard
boxes and a young woman clutching Daniel's glasses, tears dripping off her chin.
"Jess!"
"Jack. Oh God what must you think of me," she pulled a Kleenex from her pocket.
"Don't worry about it."
"But I haven't cried since the day you came to tell me," she protested. "I was fine, I was coping, I was handling all the meaningless condolences until now and I saw these," Jess held out the glasses. "Do ascended people not need glasses or is Daniel roaming the universe and not able to see it clearly?"
"Give me those," he took the offending item from her. "What brought you here today?"
Jess took a deep breath and managed a watery smile. "General Hammond called, asked me to collect Daniel's personal items and store them at home. Someone else needs to work in here, Jonas I believe. So I came, I filled my boxes and I was fine until…"
"Yeah, it's the stupid little things that get you every time. Want some help?"
"I'm sure you have better things to do."
Jack pretended to think, "Nope, nothing important."
"Well I could do with a hand carrying all this stuff to the surface, save me making two trips."
"Sure. Here's the deal. You finish packing what you need to pack, I'll get out of these," indicating his fatigues," And we'll grab a bite to eat when we're done."
"That'd be nice."
"Right. Pack your boxes, I'll be straight back."
"Hey Carter."
"Colonel. Has Teal'c spoken to you about…?"
"He certainly has and I'm sure you'll have a blast."
"You're not coming?"
"Hell no. See you tomorrow."
Sam watched him strolling down the corridor and realised with a jolt he was whistling between his teeth. She hadn't heard him do that since, well since Daniel left. What was he up to?
"Ready?" Jack stuck his head round the door.
"Ready," replied Jess.
"Here we go," he hoisted the larger of the two cartons and led the way to the elevator.
Jack woke with a groan. His head was throbbing and it felt as though something had crawled into his mouth to die. Added to that, when he finally pried his eyes open the ceiling was definitely not his own. He was fairly sure it was a ceiling he had never been formally introduced to. And that wasn't all. Beside him a body stirred. Oh boy. This was not looking good. Summoning all his courage Jack turned to discover just who it was lying alongside.
This was bad. Jess's hair fell over her face but he'd know the colour anywhere, on any pillow in the world. Then his brain clicked in enough to register the fact they were both fully dressed and the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding came out in a rush. I really am too old for this kind of thing, he thought, way too old. The only comfort was that he hadn't done anything inappropriate, hadn't taken advantage of a lovely young woman at such a low point in her life. Clothes were good. Clothes were respectable. Clothes equalled decency. Relaxing he turned and spooned his body around hers, letting her fit snugly against him and he drifted back to sleep.
Jess felt warm and safe, almost as if the events of the past month had been some kind of vivid nightmare and now she was waking up back to reality. As consciousness returned the nightmare receded further as the sensation of his body of his body pressed against hers and his arm circling her waist pushed it away.
"Thank God," she murmured. "You are still here."
"Mm," he replied sleepily.
"Okay, so why am I still in my clothes?" Jess wondered.
"I'm guessing it has something to do with all that whisky last night."
"That was not Daniel's voice. Jess shot out of his arms and across the bedroom in a flash before turning to look at the man in her bed who shouldn't be in her bed.
"Hey," said Jack. "Don't look at me like that, I don't know how we ended up here either."
"Oh God!" Jess closed her eyes and wished it all way. Didn't work. "This is so embarrassing."
"No, naked would be embarrassing," reasoned Jack. "This is… uncomfortable." He sat up and rubbed his hands through his short hair, leaving it sticking up in wayward spikes. "Any chance of a coffee?"
"Coffee? Yes, I can do coffee. Coffee is normal, coffee is good," Jess backed out of the bedroom mumbling to herself.
"Jess," Jack called after her, trying to rescue the situation.
"What?"
"Can I use your toothbrush?"
Jess looked back at him and for a moment her lips twitched in an upward direction. "Help yourself. Daniel's is still there if you'd rather."
That brought him back with a bump. Daniel. Christ, sorry Daniel. "Thanks."
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Chapter 10. Holiday Over
"Colonel, have you got a minute?"
"Sure doc, what do you need?"
"A favour."
"Ah," now Jack looked wary. "What kind of favour?"
"Cassie's due back this evening with Jess and I had promised to collect them both from the airport."
"But, I can hear a but coming."
"General Hammond wants me at the Alpha Site ASAP, more Jaffa rebels have arrived with wounded."
"So you want me to pick the kids up?"
"I'd appreciate it."
"No problem. How is Jess these days?"
"Good. When did you last see her?"
"Couple of months ago, I think she's avoiding me."
"Why so?"
"Beats me," he lied.
"Well she's fine, coming to terms with her loss. I don't mean she's forgotten Daniel already, far from it, but she can now talk about him, laugh, reminisce, all good indicators that she's well on the way to a normal healthy recovery."
"And she's staying?" Jack wanted to know.
"In America, yes. She heard recently that her ex-husband is already re-married and there's a child on the way."
"Ouch."
Janet smiled. "Exactly. Plenty enough reason not to go back."
"I'll get the girls for you doc. Want me to keep Cassie til you get back?"
"Thanks Colonel."
Jack glanced at his watch, made it with only moments to spare. He pulled off his sunglasses and let them fall round his neck on their cord. He strode through the crowd in the arrivals area, eyes scanning for familiar faces. And there they were, Cassie waving like crazy dragging a reluctant Jess along with her.
"Jack, hey Jack!" Cassie threw her arms round his neck and hugged him fiercely.
"Hey kiddo, looking good. Have a good time?"
"The best, all thanks to Jess. I am definitely going to work my butt off and get a place at Oxford, it is so cool, just like Daniel said it was."
"You go girl. Hi Jess," Jack disentangled himself from Cassie. "You got a hug for me too?"
"Jack," Jess compromised, dropping a brief kiss on his cheek. "Where's Janet?"
"Work, which means my little chickadee," he turned to Cassie, "You get to stay with your uncle Jack."
"Excellent."
Cassie talked the entire journey from the airport to town, giving Jack a blow by blow account of their vacation to England and for this Jess was grateful. She had managed to avoid all contact with Jack since the unfortunate episode involving a bottle of malt whisky and the confused embarrassment of the following morning. Trouble was she had missed him. Of all Daniel's friends (Janet and Cassie not withstanding) and colleagues, Jack was the only one with whom she had developed a true friendship of her own. He was warm and funny and generous and an all round nice guy. And, like her, he was still grieving for Daniel with no way of being able to
show it due, in most part, to macho pride for him and stiff upper lip for her. She missed the teasing banter he and Daniel used to indulge in, she missed him turning up unexpectedly with a pack of beer for her and him and a bottle of wine for Daniel, and then sitting into the night discussing any subject they hit upon. And because of one drunken incident she had cut him out of her life completely and she missed him like crazy. What was that saying, to cut off ones nose to spite ones face. Yup, she'd done that.
A phone rang. With a muttered curse Jack pulled it out of his pocket, spoke briefly and snapped it shut.
"Sorry ladies, change of plan. My presence is required back at the base."
"Does this mean I won't be staying with you?" asked Cassie, failing to keep the disappointment from her voice.
"You know how it is kiddo, it could be nothing, it could be something. I'm sorry."
"Cassie can stay with me," said Jess. "I know it's only a fold out bed in the study but you've used it before."
"Thanks," Cassie gave her a quick grin. "I thought maybe you'd have had enough of me by now."
"Nah, that'd be me," said Jack. "I can't stand you after a day let alone a fortnight. Hell I reckon Jess deserves a medal, in fact I'll have a word with Hammond, see what he can do."
Cassie stuck her tongue out at him and Jack did a poor imitation Teal'c eyebrow lift. "My, how grown up."
"You taught me well master."
Jack burst out laughing and cuffed Cassie gently round the head. Catching sight of Jess in the far seat he was relieved to see she was laughing along with them.
He pulled the truck to a standstill in front of the apartment block and carried their cases up for them. "Right, time to save the world again," he joked. "Thanks for this Jess."
"Just doing my bit on the world saving front."
"Nice one," Jack grinned at her. "Someone'll relieve you, soonest."
"Whenever."
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Chapter 11. Can we be friends?
Jess was curled in bed reading when there was a knock at the door. She glanced at the clock, half eleven. Who on earth?
"Jack?" Jess pulled her robe tighter together. "What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is? Is there a problem?"
"I'm sorry, I'll go, I didn't mean to get you out of bed. There's no problem, go back to bed."
"Come on in," she pulled him through the door and closed it. "Want a beer?"
"Love one."
"But no whisky tonight," she added.
"Don't want to sleep with me huh?"
"Something like that."
Jack sank onto the couch and rubbed his aching knee.
"Are you hurt?" Jess asked as she passed him an ice-cold beer.
"It's nothing."
"It's something. Move down a little," Jess instructed and slid onto the couch beside him. "Right, leg up here please," indicating her lap.
"You don't…"
"Shut up Jack and do as you're told."
"Yes ma'am," he did as he was told.
"Tell me about it," Jess massaged his knee gently and for a while Jack simply enjoyed the novelty of being looked after.
"Replacement number nine," he told her. "Got us in a spot of bother when the natives he was sure were friendly turned out not to be friendly after all. Tore a ligament. The doc patched me up. God that feels good," he was melting under her light touch.
"I have many hidden talents," Jess said. "What did you mean, replacement?"
"For Daniel."
"Ah," she managed not to wince.
"But he's kind of a hard act to follow."
"Has there been no word?" Jess asked.
"From Daniel? No, nothing. Are you still hoping?"
Jess smiled briefly. "Not really, not rationally, I have accepted that he's gone. There are moments, usually late at night when I miss him so much I can hardly breathe. He's moved on with his life, I have to move on with mine." She shook her head to dispel the feeling. "Enough. We are so not doing maudlin tonight."
"Yeah, from what I can recall that's what caused the problem last time. That and alcohol. Can we be friends again, this silence, this avoiding you've been treating me to isn't exactly fun?" Jack wanted to know, no, needed to know.
"Provided I don't wake up with you in my bed I reckon we can," she replied.
"Deal. You have great hands."
"So I've been told. Daniel used to get so tense, he loved a rub down." Jess worked on his thigh and calf as well. "You've got great legs."
"Now I'm blushing."
Jess laughed. "So what you been up to fly boy? Janet picked Cassie up over a week ago and said you were pretty caught up in something."
"Just saving the world again."
"Nothing special then."
"No," Jack leant back against the bank of cushions and closed his eyes. "Teal'c's wife died."
"I'm so sorry. How is he?"
"Difficult to tell with Teal'c. He's spent some time with Ry'ac and that helped them both."
"Want another beer?"
"Thanks kid."
When Jess returned Jack had stretched full length on the couch and rather than disturb him she curled up on the floor alongside.
"I've decided to give Jonas a try," he said without opening his eyes. "He's been pretty useful lately and the Russians are pushing to make up our fourth."
"So he's the lesser of two evils?"
"Yes and no," Jack reached out and twisted her hair through his fingers, he loved longer hair on a woman, made them more feminine, or so he thought. "It's not easy to look at him and not remember it was his people that tried to blame Daniel for the accident. When you do what we do you have to trust all your team completely, without thought. And right now I have a problem
with that."
"Did you trust Daniel at first?"
"Well no," he admitted. "I thought he was a geek. Actually I always thought he was a geek but he kinda grew on me. And I did trust him to watch my six so long as there wasn't a more interesting inscription to translate, or native to greet." Jack smiled to himself. "Yeah, Daniel always was a bit of a loose cannon."
"So now you have to learn to trust Jonas," she said reasonably.
"I'm too old for change."
"That's rubbish," Jess poked him in the ribs.
"Ow, woman."
"Give him a chance Jack."
"You sound like Carter and Teal'c."
"Must be good advice then."
"Okay, so I'll go easy on him, how's that."
"A good start," Jess yawned. "I have school in the morning."
"Then I guess I'd better go."
"You don't have to, I can make you up a bed right here."
"So separate rooms is okay?" he asked with a quiet laugh.
"Don't push your luck."
"And you'll still respect me in the morning?"
"Jack," brushing his hair back Jess planted a kiss on his forehead. "Play your cards right and I might even make you breakfast."
By the time Jess returned with a quilt Jack was asleep. Smiling to herself she removed his shoes and tucked the quilt round him.
"Sleep well fly boy."
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Chapter 12. Beer, steaks & pool
Jess leant across to Sam, "Is it me or does Jonas smile a lot?"
"It's not you," replied Sam with a laugh, "He's like a puppy, racing head long at life and enjoying his big adventure."
"Is Jack getting used to him?"
"A little, and if he keeps on coming through for us the way he has been I reckon the outlook is favourable."
"Good," Jess took another drink of her beer and watched Jack and Teal'c at the pool table. Jonas was scrutinising every shot in preparation for his match against the winner. The way things were playing out he was going up against Teal'c.
Jess had had no hesitation in accepting the invite to a steak and beer evening with SG1, in fact since Jack spent the night on her couch he'd made a point of including her in many of their down time activities and Jess appreciated still being one of the guys. Since their latest mission to save the planet the team had been mostly earth bound for the longest Jess had ever known
and it was only in the last week they'd ended up in a sunken mother ship.
The team was slowly rebuilding. The gap left by Daniel was gradually closing, the dynamics were altering subtly and Jonas was growing into his role. Speaking of Jonas, she watched as he asked another of his endless stream of questions and caught Jack's lips twitch as he smothered a smile brought on by Teal'c's literal reply.
"That's me done," Jack passed his cue to Jonas and joined the ladies at their table. Sam passed him a beer and Jack grinned his thanks to her. Not for the first time Jess found herself wondering if there wasn't more to Jack and Sam's relationship. She had once asked Daniel but he was pretty sure military regulations meant more to either of them, so if there were feelings they were never going to amount to more than feelings.
"You all packed Carter?" Jack asked.
"Yes sir, all ready."
"Packed for where?" Jess wanted to know.
"Antarctica," Sam replied. "We have a research base down there."
"The snow buggies are way cool," added Jack.
"They're carrying out some interesting research and we've been invited to see the latest discoveries," Sam continued ignoring Jack.
"Mm, science, my favourite," he teased.
Jonas and Teal'c appeared at the table, Jonas was grinning again. "I beat Teal'c."
"Teal'c I'm ashamed at you," Jack told him. "Couldn't you have at least hung on there a little longer?"
"Unfortunately I could not," said Teal'c gravely.
"Whose next?" Jonas wanted to know.
"Go on Carter," said Jack. "Show Jonas your moves."
Sam took Teal'c's cue and they returned to the game table.
"That should wipe the smile off his face," Jack failed to keep the satisfaction from his voice.
"Indeed," agreed Teal'c.
In the far corner of their usual haunt there was a handkerchief sized dance floor where several couples were moving to a familiar tune. Jess itched to join them and suddenly the loss of Daniel threatened to overwhelm her, he'd danced with her right there many times.
"Are you okay?" Jack asked, having watched her face cloud with sadness.
"A Daniel moment," she admitted. "Would you do something for me?"
"Name it."
"Dance with me."
"You sure? I seem to remember last time your toes took quite a hammering."
"I'm sorry," Jess looked away embarrassed. "I shouldn't have asked."
Jack was silent for a moment then, taking her hand in his he pulled her to her feet. "You want to dance we dance. I take no responsibility for injuries inflicted."
The crowd on the dance floor parted enough to allow Jack and Jess through, and holding her at arms length Jack tried to pick up on the rhythm of the music. Jess suffered this distance dancing for as long as she could (which wasn't long) then stepped up to close the gap and rest her head against the soft material of his shirt. Better. Not Daniel but she was not going to think like that. This was Jack and he felt very good in his own right, too good possibly and she definitely wasn't going to think like that.
The song ended, neither noticed and the next began. Jack slid his hand beneath Jess's soft shiny hair and caressed the back of her neck. It was a very long time since he'd held anyone this close and Jess seemed to fit against him in all the right places. Which was a problem. It was causing him to think thoughts he really ought not, not about Daniel's girl. Jess sighed and moved her face against him, her arms wrapped tighter round his waist and Jack felt an all too familiar sensation creeping up on him. Not now, he willed himself, not now. But not even his considerable will power could prevent his body reacting to her closeness. It was impossible for Jess not to notice.
"Um, Jack…" she began.
"I guess it would be pointless to say it was my side arm?" he asked.
"Pointless," Jess agreed.
"Okay, now I'm really embarrassed."
"How about if I take it as a compliment?"
"That'd help."
"Well at least it answers another of my questions, you are human after all, I do wonder sometimes with you soldiery types."
"Well gee thanks. I am very human for your information."
"So I noticed," wickedly Jess pressed herself closer and was amused to watch Jack close his eyes and swallow. Ha, got you fly boy.
Not for the first time Jack sat in his truck and looked up at the lighted windows of Jess's apartment. Over the last month or so he'd found his truck turning towards the apartment as if under someone else's control, he'd park, check the lights were on, that she was safe at home, that she was close for a few moments, then he could go home. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be thinking what he was thinking. He reached for the key to start the engine then paused, from his vantage point he could see Jess outlined against the picture window, wearing shorts and a vest top, clearly ready for bed and his heart was in his mouth. Dammit he had to
do this.
Jess heard the knock at the door as she flicked off the living room light. Only one person ever called at this time of night. It was only an hour since they'd all said goodnight at the bar, so what on earth brought him to her door?
"Hello Jack."
"Hey," he closed the door behind himself.
"Haven't you got an early start in the morning?"
"I just wanted to apologise again for my behaviour on the dance floor."
"You don't need to Jack, these things happen."
"Then maybe I should say sorry for this instead," dipping his head Jack kissed her.
Jess stepped back and stared up at him. What, why? Oh the hell with trying to understand the situation. It was Jack. Jack was safe and maybe he was the one she could turn to to chase the last of her ghosts away. Her hands slid up his shirtfront and stepping back into the circle of his arms she pulled his mouth back to her own. Hot damn but he was a sensational kisser.
This time it was Jack to break the contact first and led her through to the dark living area. With a tug she tumbled onto the couch with him and laughing quietly he held her tight in his arms.
"Four hundred years ago they'd have burnt you at the stake," he told her, tucking that glorious hair behind her ear.
"Excuse me?"
"Don't try and tell me you aren't a witch. Daniel told me you could cast a spell and bewitch a man and until tonight I thought he was talking crazy. Until you did it to me."
"I don't recall doing anything to you tonight."
"Yesterday you were just you, a happy go lucky, funny, beautiful woman with an accent to die for and a great laugh and that twinkle in your eye. Then suddenly tonight the whole picture shifted slightly and now…" his fingers traced the swell of her breast. "Now is something very different."
"I think that's the longest I've ever heard you speak about anything. Tonight is certainly full of surprises."
"Good surprises?"
"I think so. I always thought you and Sam…"
"Ah, Carter. No."
"There's something."
"Can't deny that," said Jack. "There may be feelings but that's all there ever will be, feelings, and that's not just because of regulations. Carter and me, we both know anything more would be a disaster, we're too alike and too different. So those feelings are tucked in a box and hidden away."
"Okay."
"Which just leaves Daniel. You took his breath away and now I understand why. I'll understand if you'd rather I hadn't kissed you, if you want to go back to before."
Jess touched his face and thought about his words. Did she want to waste her life away waiting and hoping that one day Daniel might possibly walk back through the door? Could she live like that, always wondering if today was the day? No she couldn't. And she wasn't prepared to live like a nun; she was thirty-one years old, enjoyed loving and being loved. Jack was someone who would never give his heart lightly so coming tonight and saying what he had had taken some courage on his part and that made it all the more special. It was almost as if Daniel were whispering in her ear not to waste the opportunity, to go ahead and live again, with this man, with his friend, be happy, make him happy.
"We can't go back, I don't want to go back, I want to go forward. With you."
"Sure?" he was smiling now.
"Sure."
"When I get back from Antarctica we'll do it properly, the whole thing, dates and everything," he promised, kissing her jaw slowly, tongue darting out to taste her skin.
"I'd like that."
"So I guess I should call it a night and get some sleep before my flight."
Pausing by the door Jack gathered her back into his arms and kissed her again, deeper, harder than before. Jess wrapped herself around him and gave as good as she got. More by luck than judgement Jack discovered the gap between shorts and top and his fingers encountered soft warm flesh. He groaned into her mouth as Jess surged against him. His precarious self-control was faltering. So long, so long since he'd wanted anyone this badly.
"This is not good."
"I beg to differ," Jess murmured in reply.
"I haven't been to Antarctica yet, well I have, but not this time. Jessie!" his breath caught as her fingers slid under the hem of his shirt.
"Want to get naked fly boy?" Jess managed to ask hoarsely.
"Naked? Hell yes."
"You know the way." Suddenly she was gone from his arms and running toward the bedroom. Pausing in the doorway Jess dropped her vest top on the floor and Jack caught a glimpse of skin before she vanished into the dimly lit room. He followed more cautiously, his body wanting her, his head hesitating. Daniel loomed large in his thoughts, and he was pretty sure he was
still never far from hers either. How in the hell would Jack explain sex with Jess if he did meet up with Daniel somewhere out there? Worse still what if Daniel were floating around in the apartment right now?
"I'm not getting any younger here," Jess called from the bedroom.
"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Contemplation of Daniel and his feelings some other time, right now he needed to concentrate on his own. Jack pulled his shirt over his head, bypassing the need to fight with buttons and reached for his belt.
Jess watched Jack's frantic striptease from the bed with frank enjoyment.
"It's been a while," he warned her. "I can't guarantee my normal excellent control of situations such as this."
"I don't want you to be controlled," she told him.
There was no more talking.
"Jack?" Jess asked much, much later.
"Mm?" he replied sleepily.
"Are we crazy?"
"Hell yes, it's the only way to be."
"Okay."