"Colonel O'Neill! When did you get back?"
"Last night. A friend of yours convinced me I should tell you the bits I missed out of my original de-brief."
"I see." Janet put down her pen, closed the report on her desk and gave the Colonel her full attention. "You want to do this with me? Perhaps Doctor Phillips…?"
"No. You. You sent her, you should know."
"Of course."
"Are you sitting comfortably?" Jack smiled. "Then I'll begin."
"Doctor Fraiser, was that Colonel O'Neill I saw leaving the base earlier?"
"Yes indeed General."
"Care to enlighten me?"
"I think, sir, the plan worked. Colonel O'Neill has filed an additional report regarding his captivity. It makes for an interesting read," Janet handed over a file and the General scanned the report.
"Doctor Jackson?" baffled he looked at Janet.
"Yes sir. It seems Daniel is indeed alive and well all be it in a form far removed from our own."
"Very well. I think I'd better take my time over this one," he slipped the folder under his arm. "Thank you Doctor."
"General sir, one last thing," Janet called after him.
"Yes?"
"My professional evaluation of Colonel O'Neill is that he is fit to resume active duty."
"Thank you Doctor, I'll take that into consideration."
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Chapter 22. Colorado Springs
Jess zipped her gym bag closed, pulled her still wet hair back into a ponytail and headed out of the ultra-modern smoked glass and concrete building, for the short walk home.
From his truck Jack caught sight of her the moment she stepped into the bright spring sunshine. His heart lurched. That was his girl. She looked great even in exercise wear. The skintight jogging trousers showed her butt to maximum advantage, made him want to feel it in his hands, and as the loose jacket flapped in the breeze he could just make out the cut off top that stopped several inches above her waist. Dear God it was little more than underwear, form fitting around the swell of her tantalising breasts. And all of that was his for the taking. Life was good.
Jack was about to climb out of the truck when he saw an all too familiar blond head appear from a car parked further down the street. He watched as Jess stopped to greet his second in command and could see, even from a distance the look of disappointment when all she received back was a curt nod before Sam strode off toward the gym herself. Looks like Sam's none too impressed with my involvement with Jess, he deduced, well I'm sorry Sam you know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you but for once you're just going to have to get over it. This situation is not going to go away, not like Laira. I'll find a way to make it right with you, I promise. But not today. Then he did step out and with his long legs covered the distance between himself and his goal in moments.
"Hey teacher lady."
Jess turned. "Hey fly boy. Welcome home."
"Is that the best you can do?"
"Oh!" Jess tried to look surprised. "So they allow sex on the sidewalk in these parts do they?"
Jack laughed delightedly, "Don't mind finding out. Come here."
She dropped her gym bag and flung herself into his open arms. "These have been two very long weeks," she said into the soft material of his shirt. "What the hell kept you?"
"Actually I've been back in town a week."
"You have?" she tilted her face up to look at him and Jack caught her completely off-guard with his first kiss.
"Knock it off," Jess tried to push him away.
"Can't do that," he kissed her again. "We have two weeks to make up for."
"Then we'd really better get off the street," Jess hooked her fingers in the back pockets of his jeans, pulling his body tight to hers. "Tell me one thing."
"Name it," said Jack.
"Are we… what I mean is are you…?"
"I certainly hope so. Get in the truck, I want you naked in the next five minutes."
"You place or mine?" Jess could hardly breathe, she wanted him so badly.
"Yours is closest."
"Drive fast."
"Yes ma'am."
Jess rolled onto her stomach and studied Jack. It looked an awful lot as though he was asleep. Not good enough."
"Hey," she dug a finger in his ribs.
"Not again," he groaned. "I'm an old man, I need my rest."
"I'm not after your body just yet, I respect the needs of the older generation. However," Jess prodded him again. "I do want an explanation."
"Of what? Worm hole physics may be beyond me just now."
"Of why it's taken you two weeks to get back in my bed."
"Oh that. Later."
"Now," Jess leant over and ran her tongue from his breastbone to his stomach button causing Jack to groan. "The only way you're going to get any peace fly boy is to give me what I want."
"I thought I had," he said.
"That was a mutual thing. Spill."
"Then can I sleep?"
"Maybe," her fingers tracked slowly down his chest. "Tell me why it took you two weeks."
"Okay, but you're gonna have to stop that, doesn't help me think straight. Right. Well first week I wasted on the Minnesota option, trying to convince myself I didn't need any complications in my life, I didn't need work, all I needed was my pond and my fish. You were right, as much as that pains me to admit, I had to be sure. Now I am."
"Not retiring then?"
"Nah, it's getting a bit old. Not giving your body up either. So I packed up, closed down the cabin and headed home. Had a long chat with the doc, submitted myself to all her poking and prodding and psychological evaluations."
"And? Come on Jack, what did she decide?"
"Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond have reconsidered their earlier insane decision to stand me down and I'm back on the active roster as of 0600 hours Monday."
"Excellent," Jess's hand crept round his waist and Jack opened his eyes.
"How about my sleep?"
"You'll live," Jess kissed his stomach. "I'll make sure of that."
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah. Then you can sleep," she told him, stroking his face.
"I might just have to die."
"And miss out on more of the same?" she asked.
"Okay, living, definitely living."
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Chapter 23. A visit from an old friend IIJess was lost in a familiar dream landscape. Back were the smoky atmospherics and floaty white dress.
"Come out come out wherever you are."
"How did you know it was me?" Daniel came into focus.
"The frock was the giveaway."
"I'm getting predictable already," he smiled and Jess could sense a great deal of sadness in him. She had a feeling she knew why.
"Are you here to tell me I've made a huge mistake?" she asked.
"Can I say I wish I was, but no, not at all."
"Jack returns to work Monday, it's what everyone wanted, you included. He's working it through."
"I know," Daniel paced slowly round the limbo place they inhabited. "I've come to say goodbye," he said eventually.
"I guessed it was something like that," she replied.
"I have to let go and move on. I know everything is going to work out just fine. I know Jack will go on giving you frights when a mission doesn't end on time or when he gets himself hurt off world. I also know he's ready for you, he needs you in a way I never did, and believe me that is not an easy thing to admit."
"You can see into the future or is this just ascended intuition?" Jess wanted to know.
"A little of both you might say. I see one possible future but there are no guarantees that is how it'll play out. There are so many variables."
"Why the long face Daniel? You left me a long time ago in reality." Jess studied his face closely. "Or is this about Jack? You were fine with the idea in the abstract and one night did not a relationship make?"
Daniel grinned briefly, "Guilty as charged."
Jess looked round her, "Can you magic in something to sit on, this feels weird, standing here having this conversation." Next thing she knew Jess was staring up at the stars. Instead of chairs Daniel changed the dream to a huge bed with nothing but the night sky above her. "Not exactly what I had in mind," she pointed out, rolling on her side and finding Daniel mirroring her position.
"Couldn't resist."
"Try harder."
His non-corporeal hand reached out and flowed along the line of her arm, not touching (impossible), making all the tiny hairs on her skin feel as though a sudden gentle breeze was moving across them. The sensation made her shiver.
"That's not helping Daniel."
"You can feel me?"
"I can feel what I assume is you," said Jess. "What are you trying to achieve exactly?"
"Trying to remember how it felt."
"What?"
"Your skin, your hair, your lips, all those things I'll never touch for real again."
"Tell me something," Jess willed herself to ignore the strange sensation of being stroked by a big ball of energy. "Was becoming what you became your only option?"
"It doesn't matter," Daniel replied.
"It does to me. Could you have gone on living?"
"Possibly," he admitted. "Jacob may have been able to repair some but not all of the damage. A symbiote may have been able to do the rest, it was all hypothetical at best."
"You would still have been alive though."
"I had to make a choice," he said.
"And so have I."
"Ah," the light was dawning. "Choices."
"Losing you was so hard Daniel because you just vanished, no funeral, no memorial, no normal way to grieve. Now I have a chance at something tangible, something real. If you have to say goodbye to me to enable you to come to terms with my relationship with Jack then do it, but I'd much rather a part of you stuck around. I like our chats, I hope we might always be friends. Jack would too. He doesn't accept it yet but in time he will, he would miss you if you never dropped by again."
"I know this," Daniel rolled on his back and gazed up at the stars. "I've been having a problem coming to terms with what I am. Eternity is one hell of along time."
"I guess it is," she agreed, turning to examine the stars herself. "So tell me more about this life you see for me. Am I going to enjoy it?"
"Do you want to?"
"Very much. And I want you to enjoy eternity too."
"Say hi to Jack for me."
"Time to go?"
"Time to go," said Daniel. "See you around."
"No goodbyes."
Jess let her eyes open slowly. Home again. Her bed, her bedroom, her Colonel. This was where she wanted to be. Jack stirred, reached out in his sleep and his hand settled protectively on her leg. Such a simple thing and yet it was enough to bring a lump to her throat. Even in sleep he knew she was there, wanted her to be there. Jack O'Neill, she stroked his hand, my future.
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Chapter 24. Christmas IIThe phone rang. "Cassie can you get that."
"Sure Jess." From the living room she could hear Cassie's voice but not the actual words being spoken. "They're on their way," Cassie announced.
"Right then, I think we're ready."
"This is so cool, Jack's going to love it."
Jess studied the room. Yes, it did look great, there was a great deal of work involved and she just wished she could share the absolute conviction of youth that it was going to be a success.
"Kitchen," Jess announced. "There are still vegetables to prepare, the table to set and the wine to open."
"You don't work me this hard at school," Cassie complained.
"I've been saving my serious nagging for a special occasion, this one," Jess joked. "So what do you want?"
"I'll take the table, the veggies are all yours."
Sam, Teal'c and Jonas arrived first by design, Janet having volunteered to find a plausible excuse to delay Jack and give them a head start. Things were still stilted between Jess and Sam but Jess was determined not to let it spoil the day. Jonas planted a huge kiss on her cheek, it was an earth custom he enjoyed, Teal'c inclined his head in typical Teal'c fashion and Sam managed a smile. There was barely time for this brief meet and greet before the familiar sound of Jack's truck pulled up out front. They all froze.
"He must have broken the speed limit all the way here," Sam observed wryly.
"Well here goes nothing," Jess took a deep breath and went to meet him at the door.
"Now see, this is the perfect way to start my evening," Jack told her, slipping off his sunglasses and grinning broadly. "A cold beer in the fridge and a hot woman on my porch. Hey hot woman, fancy getting naked right here right now?"
Jess pulled the door to behind her to save any further embarrassment. "We might upset the neighbours."
"Make them jealous more like. Hey you boring old folks," he raised his voice. "Look what I've got waiting for me, aren't I so gonna get some."
"Oh look, here's Janet for Cassie, she spent the day with me," Jess changed the subject fast before he could get any worse.
"Let's get rid of them fast, I have designs on your body teacher lady," Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her most thoroughly.
"Later I promise," Jess eased free of his vice like grip. "Hey Janet."
"Hey doc, come for the brat?"
"Yes Colonel, and Jess has kindly invited us to supper."
"She has has she?" Jack growled at Jess.
"Stop it fly boy. Come on in Janet, don't mind him it's just his age, not good at coping with change to his routine."
"I had noticed," said Janet dryly.
"You are going to pay," Jack warned Jess. He stepped through the front door and ground to a halt, the two women only just managed to avoid cannoning into him. "What the…?"
"Happy Christmas," came the chorus.
"Last time I checked it was June," Jack pointed out.
Jess slipped her arm round his waist. "Last time we had to celebrate without you and that didn't seem fair. So, for one day only, your very own Christmas."
"You are all nuts." He slowly took in the detail, the decorated tree, the table groaning under the weight of silverware and china, his favourite wine opened. Amazing. "Are there presents?"
"Indeed," Teal'c said. "And a sizeable feast."
Jack looked at Jess, she was nervous and that was so endearing. "All this for me?" he asked. "Why?"
"Because you're worth it, and it's a good excuse for a party."
"Where are my presents?"
"Somebody please get this man his gifts," said Jess and gaudily wrapped boxes were thrown at Jack from every direction.
Jess caught Janet's eye and they both smiled broadly. From the moment Jess had asked for her help organising Jack's special day she had had a blast. From sweet talking a forest ranger for the tree to finding Christmas wrapping paper in a quaint little back street shop, to watching Jess create a typically British Christmas lunch it had been such fun. And from the look Jack was giving Jess, even though she wasn't even looking in his direction, the effort was going to pay dividends.
Once General Hammond arrived they all fell on her Christmas lunch as if they hadn't had a square meal in weeks, which given the current intensity of work commitments was a high probability. To watch the table clear under their onslaught made Jess positively glow with pleasure. Over coffee and mints the sun finally set in a blaze of glory and the tree lights were switched on. All were full of rich food, relaxed and content. There were halfhearted offers of help with the dishes but Jess shooed them all out. The men headed for Jack's den to watch sport on TV, Sam and Janet to the living room to vegetate and Cassie to the porch to talk on her phone to the current boyfriend.
"So when are you going to forgive her?" Janet asked.
"Excuse me?" Sam opened her eyes. "Forgive who?"
"Jess."
"Oh please Janet, not now."
"Why not now. You have to face facts Sam. I saw you watching him over dinner. You must see he's a lost cause."
"I know," with a sigh Sam closed her eyes again. "I do know it Janet. I know he'll never look at me that way, he didn't before she was added to the mix. He's in love. It hurts. And yes I do have to get over it. I will. I just always thought that one day, one day our time would come, no work, no rules, no regulations, just him and me and… and I don't know. I think today has helped me see I'm clutching at straws. Time to move on."
"Well I'm very glad, you're both my friends and I want what's best for you both. Jess makes him whole. There's always Lieutenant Simmons."
"Janet," Sam snorted. "Don't start your meddling with me."
"I wouldn't dare."
Jack found Jess still in the kitchen, wiping clean the surfaces. "Leave that," he took her hand. "Come on."
Up the outside steps to his rooftop observatory platform where all was quiet save the occasional sound of Cassie's voice still on the telephone.
"Have you had a good Christmas?" Jess asked, settling on his lap and sinking into his arms.
"The best," he told her. "No one has ever done anything like this for me."
"Will you try and be home for the real one this year?"
"I'll do my best. Will you spend it here with me?"
"Here or Minnesota, I'm easy."
"Seeing you on the porch tonight felt good, it felt right. I think it may be time for you to give up that apartment and be on my porch every night."
"I think you could be right, and time to let go of Daniel once and for all. I'll contact the agent on Monday. Do you suppose there's a museum or research facility I can donate his work to?"
"Probably not without getting in serious trouble. I'll have a word with Hammond, see if he can do something with it all." Jack curled a tendril of her glorious hair round his finger. "Can we throw them out now?"
"No we can't," said Jess with a laugh.
"Jess? Are you up there?" called out Cassie.
"Go back to your phone child," Jack replied. "We're making out up here."
"Eeeuw, gross!"
"Jack O'Neill behave yourself," Jess warned him.
"Not a chance. I'm planning on growing old disgracefully right here with you," he kissed her deeply and it felt so right. Not since his life with Sara and Charlie had anything ever felt this right. "You know," he went on, fingers slowly creeping up under the hem of her short skirt. "That wasn't such a bad idea of mine."
"Stop," Jess hissed at him and tried to still his hand. "You have got to be joking."
"I never joke about sex with you, it's more of a religious experience. And I feel the need to be near God right now."
"Cassie is too close by and we have a house full of guests."
"Cass has just gone indoors," his fingers creeping higher. "I want you Jessie, right here under the stars. Show me a miracle."
Jess sighed, "One of these days I am going to figure out how to say no to you."
"No hurry," he assured her. "I love your legs teacher lady, they are a serious turn on for me, that and the fact you're so ticklish just behind the knees," he demonstrated.
"No," she begged. "Not the knees, Jack that is so unfair." Jess tried to wriggle away.
"Play with me Jessie."
"Not with an audience. Once they've gone you can do anything you want, I promise."
"Anything?" there was a dangerous glint in his eye.
"Within reason. Release me fly boy."
"Can't do that ma'am. Just close your eyes and think of merry old England."
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25. Is this real?
"Jess, hey Jess, wake up sleepy head."
"I'm awake," she groaned. "Kind of."
"Let's go. Coffee's ready. You have just enough time to shower."
"Okay," Jess rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, it was easier than arguing for a few more minutes in bed and he was a difficult man to ignore at the best of times.
Beyond the car window the day was perfect. The sky pure unbroken blue, the trees in full leaf, dancing and moving in the lightest of breezes, flowers blooming, birds singing.
"Somebody up there like us," Jess observed.
"You could say," he agreed. "Ah, here we go."
Cassie appeared, waving like a windmill and they pulled up alongside. "What kept you?" she demanded.
"Jess wouldn't get out of bed. Ow!" this as she thumped him.
"Well you're here now," Cassie continued. "Come on, everyone's waiting," and she was gone, running on ahead, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure they followed.
"Shall we?"
"We shall," replied Jess as he slid his arm round her shoulders and they followed Cass at a more sedate pace.
Janet had really gone to town on the picnic, the trestle table was groaning under the weight of food.
"Jessie!" Janet hugged her friend. "You look fantastic."
"Two weeks R&R with nothing more pressing than where to eat," said Jess. "It was heaven." She caught his eye and smiled. "Absolute heaven."
"Hey guys," Sam hugged them both. "Good holiday?"
"The best," he replied. "Have I missed anything good?"
"Not a thing."
"Like you'd tell me anyway," he teased.
"Daniel, good of you to return."
"Hey Jack."
"And my favourite teacher lady, looking sexier then ever might I add," Jack kissed her fondly. "Guess I'm gonna have to work harder than ever to win you now."
"I guess you are," Jess replied. She tried to ignore the strange sensation that wrapped around her with the touch of his lips to her skin. Without thinking her fingers moved to her cheek to touch the actual contact area.
"Are you okay?" Daniel sounded concerned.
"Mm? Oh, yes, sorry," Jess gave herself a mental shake. "Still a little jet lagged is all."
The sun moved slowly across the sky. A game of 'Jack's rules' baseball was followed by lunch and the party slowed while they took their time to digest all the goodies they'd consumed. Cassie and her boyfriend were the only two with enough energy to carry on tossing a Frisbee. Janet, with her large sun hat pulled over her face, was asleep. Jack, lying on his stomach chewing on a blade of grass was watching the kids. Sam, her head resting in the small of his back was reading a science magazine. Daniel, back resting against a convenient tree had his arms wrapped around Jess, chin resting lightly on her shoulder.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"The hammock on the beach," Jess replied.
"Oh yes," his lips brushed her temple. "That was some sunset."
"Actually I was thinking about the sex but yes, pretty spectacular back drop."
Daniel laughed and Jack glanced their way. "What's funny?"
"Holiday memory," Jess told him.
"By that laugh not one you can share in mixed company?"
"Something like that," said Daniel.
Jess caught Jack's eye over the top of his sunglasses. There was something. She looked away as unexpected heat crept over her skin. Get a grip Jess, that's Jack, he doesn't, he couldn't, could he? As if to reassure herself she turned to Daniel and kissed him long and hard, uncomfortably aware of Jack's unblinking gaze.
"Well," said Daniel a little breathlessly. "Perhaps we should invest in a hammock of our own."
"Hammock?" Sam only caught the word and looked up confused. "Where would you put a hammock in your apartment?"
"They're talking about sex," Jack told her.
"Oh," the light dawned. "Holiday hammock, right," and she returned to her reading.
"Okay," said Jess. "Now I really am embarrassed. Time for more sport I think. What's next on your agenda Jack?"
"I thought you'd never ask," he replied with a grin.
Evening drew in and it was back to Jack's where the grill was lit, the burgers cooked, the beer opened. Cassie, true to form, threw mustard all down the front of her white t-shirt. Without thinking Jess marched the girl into the kitchen where she unhesitatingly went straight to the cupboard containing Jack's cleaning equipment.
"Now how…?" she started to ask herself.
"How what?" Cassie wanted to know.
How on earth did I know where to look for spot remover in Jack's kitchen? "Nothing," said Jess.
For the remainder of the evening Jess couldn't throw the sensation that something was not quite right. It was as if images of an amazingly vivid dream kept crowding her thoughts. As she sat in the circle of Daniel's arm she had only to close her eyes and there was Jack. Jack leaning against the kitchen cupboard, the very cupboard she'd unerringly reached for earlier, passing her shopping to put away. Jack on the deck outside, feet up on the rail, beer in one hand, her hand in the other. Jack pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it in the corner of his bedroom, his eyes hot with desire. For her. Dammit there was something very odd going on.
When finally they took their leave, Daniel went on ahead to start the car, Jess turned back to Jack for an instant and that look was back in his eye. Reaching up she cupped his cheek in her hand. "Jack…I…"
"Ssh," he said quietly. "It'll keep. Look after yourself teacher lady."
"Look after yourself fly boy."
Even at home, crawling under the covers of her own bed, wearing her favourite nightdress, looking at all the familiar objects surrounding her, Jess couldn't shake the feeling.
"You look puzzled," observed Daniel, sliding under the sheet beside her.
"It's nothing."
"Sure?"
"Yes. No. Daniel?"
"Mm?"
"Is this real? Sorry," Jess realised that she'd phrased it badly. "That probably sounds crazy."
"Explain," he said gently, running his fingers down her arm.
"All day I've felt as though somehow all of this, everything I'm doing isn't quite real. As if it's all some sort of elaborate dream. And Jack…" her words trailed off. How do you say to the man in your bed you don't think he's actually the man you sleep with. Normally. Without sounding as if you've completely lost the plot.
"I think I've had a little too much sun," she said eventually. "I'll be okay in the morning. Back to normal, if that's possible."
"Okay," Daniel flicked off the light and for a time they lay in silence.
"It's no good," Jess sighed. "There's something, I know there's something, I'm sure I'm not losing my mind. If I could just put my finger on it."
"Or you could just let it go," Daniel suggested. "Forget it and concentrate on the here and now."
"You know what's happening," Jess turned his face toward her. "You know what it all means. Tell me Daniel."
"I love you," he touched a finger to her lips. "Is this reality so difficult to accept?"
"But I know this reality isn't real. God, now I even sound crazy to myself. But I don't know what is real. I'm scared."
"Never be scared," he whispered. "I'll always be here, I'll always look after you no matter what. Nothing can ever hurt you. Go to sleep, it'll all be better in the morning, you'll see."
"What do you mean, better?"
"You're just going to have to trust me," he smiled that private smile of his. "Go to sleep."
Jess felt her eyes growing heavy and obediently curled up by his side. If Daniel said it was going to be okay then of course it was going to be okay.
Morning came suddenly in a rush of harsh light and the sound of heavy footsteps. Jess opened her eyes slowly to see what was causing the racket.
"Well hello," Jack leant forward and peered at her. "So you've decided to wake up have you? 'Bout time."
"Jack?"
"Yes Jessica?"
"Where am I?" Jess looked round at the strange surroundings.
"Hospital."
"But…why…I mean how?"
"The guys came by the apartment yesterday to move your gear to my house, Jonas and a couple of non coms. When they couldn't get any answer they rang the base. I was caught up in something so Teal'c took the spare key and when they got in there you were flat out on the floor. They brought you here."
"Flat out…I don't understand."
Jack brushed her hair back, "None of us do. You were unconscious. Doc says there's no sign of head trauma, just out cold."
"Janet was here?" Jess found it all more and more confusing by the moment.
"You don't think I'd trust you to anyone else?" Jack grinned and in doing so his cheerful façade slipped just enough for Jess to see his underlying fear.
"I'm sorry if I scared you," Jess held her hand out to him and Jack took it.
"Scare me? Hell it'd take more than you deciding to take a twenty-four hour sleep to scare me," he said.
"You don't have to be all macho for me fly boy."
Jack grinned sheepishly this time. "Saw straight through me. What happened to you Jess?"
"I don't actually know," she said completely truthfully. "I was thinking about all the stuff in the apartment, where it would all fit in the house, had I packed all Daniel's stuff safely, would I ever get the opportunity to explain to him why I sold the piano, and I guess I just passed out." Then she lied. "Next thing I knew I was waking up here."
"How do you feel?"
"Actually Colonel I was just about to ask her the very same thing," Janet's voice interrupted. "Welcome back Jess."
"Janet. I feel fine. I feel great, rejuvenated. Maybe I just needed a rest," Jess suggested.
"Quite possible," said Janet. "It could simply have been your body's way of telling you to slow up. I would normally expect it to pass quicker but then there are no hard and fast rules with this kind of thing."
"She's going to be okay?" Jack asked Janet.
"I see no reason why not. Now why don't you go home and get some rest Colonel before your body decides to take what it needs in the same way Jess's did. I don't need both of you in here."
"She's right Jack," said Jess. "Go, sleep, relax. I'll be fine, cross my heart."
"Okay." The strength of his kiss gave Jess another clear indicator of his concern and she found herself cupping his cheek in much the same way she had in her dream (if that's what it had been).
"Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to let Janet prod me about because I can see that's what she's itching to do and then I am coming home. And you'd better have the coffee on ready."
This time when he smiled it was more relaxed. "Yes ma'am."
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Chapter 26. Unexpected News"Jack tells me you're not sleeping well since the incident at the apartment." Janet took a drink of her coffee and waited.
"Did he," Jess avoided looking at Janet.
"He's worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"So why aren't you sleeping? Why are you wandering around in the middle of the night almost as if you don't want to be in bed? If you can't talk to Jack about it can you not talk to me instead?"
This time Jess did meet the other woman's eyes and Janet was shocked at the dark rings and the haunted expression. "I'm afraid it'll happen again," she said quietly.
"It won't honey."
"You can't know that for sure. He could…" Jess ground to a halt.
"He?" Janet picked straight up on her error, as Jess had known she would as soon as the word was out of her mouth.
"Slip of the tongue."
"I don't think so. He. Jack?" Jess shook her head. "Daniel?"
"I can't Janet."
"What did Daniel do? Talk to me Jess."
"I wasn't asleep," Jess said finally. "It was a dream but not a dream, it was so real. Everyone was there, you, Cass, Jack, Sam… and Daniel. It was as if he'd never left."
"It can only have been a dream," Janet said reasonably. "Your brain trying to imagine a life for you, which still included Daniel. Let's face it, it happened at just the time he must have been most on your mind as you were moving out of the home you shared."
"No. Daniel created it all. It was Daniel's dream, his imagination. He made a life for us. For one day we were a couple again, we were happy, we were in love, everything was perfect." Tears ran down Jess's cheeks. "But I couldn't accept it Janet. I kept getting these flashes of my life now with Jack and it was as confusing as hell. I didn't know which life was real."
"Let me see if I've got this straight," Janet frowned while she thought. "Somehow Daniel knocked you out and created an elaborate illusion, some fantasy reality which you actually experienced for the whole time you were unconscious?"
"Essentially yes."
"Okay. And now you're worried he might try again?"
"I am. He's lonely Janet, lonely and more than just a little confused and scared. He once told me that eternity was an awfully long time."
"This has happened before?" Janet looked shocked.
"Not exactly," Jess tried to explain. "When Jack was… missing he told me when it was almost over. When I was in Minnesota he talked me into staying and seeing it through when I was about to quit. He's never really left me."
"That must be… uncomfortable," was the best Janet could manage.
"A little, but I didn't want him to go completely, in a crazy way it was a comfort to know he was still close by. Or at least it was until he changed the rules. The occasional pep talk is fine, living out his fantasy is not."
"I can understand that."
"So how do I stop him from doing it again?"
"I don't know," Janet admitted. "But I think just by being aware will make it harder for him to pull the same stunt again. And you can't go without sleep indefinitely."
"I know that."
"Want my advice?"
Jess smiled briefly. "Have I a choice?"
"Nope. Tell Jack and then put it behind you and move on. Sleep as normal, live as normal. Don't let Daniel haunt you the way he haunted Jack."
"Yes doctor."
Rain. Non-stop heavy, depressing rain. Jess watched it miserably through the fogged up kitchen window. All around lay the fruits of her labour. Cakes, pastries, biscuits, cookies, enough to feed the entire staff of the SGC. After one week of her own company the stress had reached mammoth proportions and baking was one way of taking her mind off it all.
"Hey, guess who's home," he yelled, slamming the door behind him to keep out the rain.
"In the kitchen," she called back.
"Okay," Jack took in the scene. "Have I missed a weather warning? Are we expecting a siege?" he picked up a cookie and bit into it. "This is good."
"I guess I got a little carried away," Jess laughed self-consciously.
"I have noticed," Jack slid his arms round her, "that when you have something on your mind you often go crazy on the cleaning. One room usually, top to bottom. Then you're better. So why do I think this is gonna be a doozy?"
"It'll keep. I've missed you. Is everything alright at the base?"
"That'll keep too," he hedged.
"Go sit down, I'll bring you a beer."
"And cookies, lots of cookies."
"Go."
"I'm gone," snatching another biscuit on his way.
Jess poured coffee for herself, filled a plate with a selection of goodies, snagged him a beer and only when there was absolutely nothing left to use as a delaying tactic followed on through to the lounge.
"Thanks," Jack took the beer and enjoyed that first refreshing pull. "Better. Sit," he patted the couch by his side, looking suddenly scarily serious. "We need to talk."
"Has she said something?" Jess sat with a thump.
"Who? Said what?"
"Never mind. Talk about what?"
Jack took a moment; he tucked a lock of escaped hair behind her ear and pulled gently on the lobe. He would have given anything not to have this conversation; it was almost as bad as the day he had to tell her Daniel was gone. "Something kinda weird happened during our last mission."
"That's not so unusual, weird is your middle name Colonel."
"This was over and above the usual weird. Daniel came back, I mean back as in human, real, breathing, flesh and blood."
"This is a joke right?"
"No joke," Jack looked away, out of the window and concentrated on the night. He didn't want Jess to pick up on his fear.
From the moment Daniel had literally fallen to earth Jack had been living a nightmare. Daniel was human again, there was no longer any reason for Jess to be with him, they could take up exactly where they'd left off if that was what she wanted. And how could she possibly not want.
Jess's brain was having trouble assimilating his news, it was all too unexpected. "Why?"
"It's complicated. What I need to know is do you want to see him, do you want some time with him. Jess I need to know if you would rather be with him than me." There, said it, hadn't been easy but he'd managed.
Jess stared at him. "Be with Daniel?"
"You don't have to give me your answer right now, I know I've given you a lot to think about," Jack continued.
"I don't need to think about anything," she told him bluntly. "Yes I would like to see him, I expect the transition to non-ascension had to have been pretty traumatic. But that last bit? Are you nuts? Or has this given you the perfect excuse to get me out of your life? You've done that to me once before, is this what you're trying to do again?"
"That's plain crazy," Jack was deeply insulted. "You are the first and only woman I have cared enough about since… since Sara to want to share my life with. That will not be changing any time soon. But now you have a choice."
"No I don't."
"Yes you do," getting angry now.
"No I don't," Jess raised her voice to match. "There is no choice here. I love you."
"Don't be ridiculous."
Now she was good and mad. "Are you saying it was a mistake to fall in love with you? Well thanks Jack, thanks a lot. You certainly know how to make me feel so good about myself." Without thinking Jess crossed the room, flung open the front door and headed out into the rain, needing to put some distance between herself and the focus of her anger.
Jack was quick to follow, caught her shoulder and spun her round. "What is it with you woman, always running out on me?"
"I'm just reacting to your obvious need to drive me away, you are oh so good at that Jack O'Neill."
"I just don't want to stand in your way. You love Daniel."
"Loved," Jess yelled at him, losing it big time. "I loved Daniel but that's gone now. Gone, finished, he gave away any hold he had on my heart when he chose ascension over life. And anyway you stupid son of a bitch I never felt for Daniel a fraction of what I feel for you, no matter how hard you try to make it for me. What do I have to do to make you understand? What do you want of me Jack?"
"You've never said that before," Jack's fingers were digging into her shoulder, his face unreadable.
"What, stupid son of a bitch. So?"
"No woman. You never said you loved me until tonight."
"Jesus, Jack O'Neill I love you more than I thought it possible to love anyone." As fast as her anger had consumed her it faded to nothing and Jess was left feeling empty and hollow. "I don't ever want to be anywhere without you, I don't ever want anyone but you. This is it for me and it's scary as hell."
"Why?" Jack was lost.
"I know you don't love me, I know it would be easy for you to walk away, to leave me and the thought terrifies me."
"That is never going to happen," he pulled her into a fierce embrace. "I love you teacher lady, have done for longer than I guess I should have. I don't plan on ever giving you up."
"Oh Jack," Jess buried her face in his soaking wet shirt, trying to decide if she wanted to laugh or cry.
"How about we go inside now," he suggested.
"No," Jess drew back. "There's one more thing."
"And you have to tell me this out here?"
"Yes. While we're on the truth kick. The reason for my baking spree."
"Tell me inside," he pleaded, wiping the rain from his face.
"But it's about Daniel."
Jack froze and turned back to face her. "What about him?"
"He's the reason I haven't been sleeping. That day in the apartment he did something to me, I don't know what, I was living in some kind of fantasy world he created, but as real as it was I knew it couldn't be real."
"How come?" Jack wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"Because of you." Jess touched his arm. "Because even in some perfect world of Daniel's I knew I wanted to be with you, I knew it wasn't right. I remember you kissed my cheek and it was like 'oh wow!'"
He couldn't help but smile. "Oh wow! You must show me how exactly some time."
She smiled back. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you at the time, I think I was embarrassed. It was like being unfaithful without being unfaithful. Does that make any sense?"
"Not a bit. Get inside now," he took her hand and pulled her back through the door, closing it firmly and locking it. "To stop any further sudden desire to catch pneumonia," he told her.
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Chapter 27. Daniel
Jess took a deep breath. She could do this. There was nothing to be worried about. After all Jack had told her his memory was gone, completely, no trace of the time he'd spent as an ascended being. Which meant there was no need for the embarrassment she was currently experiencing. The memory was hers and hers alone. Which meant…
"Hey Daniel."
Daniel looked up from the book he was reading; he hadn't even heard the door. "Jess!"
"Hello stranger, how are you doing?" she closed the door and moved across the impersonal army issue quarters Daniel had been assigned within the mountain until he was cleared by the powers that be for reintegration into Stargate Command.
"I'm fine," he lied. "It's good to see you."
"And you. I can't quite believe you're actually here," she touched his hand. Flesh and blood, a warm living human being again. And completely real this time. "What happened?"
"Long story," Daniel linked his fingers through hers. "Suffice to say I broke the rules and this is my punishment."
"Are you sorry?" Jess rubbed her thumb against his palm, the gesture was so familiar Daniel couldn't help but smile.
"No, I'm sure I did whatever I did for a good reason. And there are compensations. I never imagined I'd be able to do this again," he squeezed her hand. "And you have no idea how frustrating it was not being able to pick up a book. You're crying," he dropped his book and gathered her in his arms. "Don't cry Jessie."
"I'm sorry," she gulped. "I'm not myself just now, I think you're being back is more of a shock that I realised. Jack keeps telling me to get a grip."
"Sounds like Jack, still not good with emotions?" Daniel grinned at her. "Good old Jack."
Jess kissed him, just to remember how it felt. "I'd forgotten how nice you are to hug."
"Likewise. More than that, I'd forgotten the smell of your shampoo and the way that particular lock of hair," he curled it round his finger, "Never falls into place with all the rest no matter how hard you try to make it". Daniel kissed her back and felt her draw slowly away from him.
"Best not," she said gently.
Daniel's face showed his lack of comprehension. "I don't understand. What's wrong Jessie, why is it best not?"
"You really don't remember?"
"Obviously. Remember what?"
"Hey guys," Jack looked round the door. "Room for one more?"
Jess knew by the slight inflection in his voice that he was still a touch insecure. Well here was a situation she hadn't anticipated. Daniel had no idea she and Jack… Oh was this going to be awkward.
"You've been gone a long time Daniel," Jess began.
"I appreciate that. Oh! You need more time to get used to my being back? I understand completely and I'm sorry, I should have realised."
"No Daniel," Jess squeezed his hand. "Everything is different now. God, I wish you could remember, I wish I didn't have to do this right now."
"What Jess is trying and failing miserably to say," Jack stepped up to her side and she leant gratefully against him. "Is that during your time as a big ball of energy you knew and were quite happy with the fact that Jess and I…"
Daniel looked at them both. "You and Jess? You and Jess are…?"
"We are," Jess said.
"Well," said Daniel. "Well… wow. And congratulations. To both of you. I have to say I didn't expect this."
"Neither did we," said Jess.
"No, it was like being caught in the lights of an oncoming truck and unable to get away," added Jack.
"Nice analogy," Jess looked round at him. "You romantic you."
"I try." Jack grinned at her and she grinned back.
"Well," Daniel said recovering his poise nicely, "I'm happy for you, really I am."
"Gotta go teacher lady."
"Okay. I'll be back soon Daniel, we have some serious catching up to do."
"I look forward to it."
"And I'm sorry about all the rest," she said again.
"Don't be. I left you, I had no right to expect you to wait indefinitely. It was a stupid position to put you in and I should be the one apologising."
"How 'bout you both stop now and we get to the restaurant before it closes," suggested Jack.
Much later Daniel received another visitor. She stuck her head round the door and waved a bottle of Southern Comfort at him. "I don't know about you but I'm in the mood to get hammered."
Daniel smiled warmly. "Come on in Sam, I think I could warm to that idea."
Sam plonked the bottle on the table, broke the seal and poured two very generous shots into glasses she pulled out of her pockets. "Here's to the happy couple," she raised a glass.
"To Jack and Jess," Daniel touched his glass to hers, tossed the fiery liquid down his throat and held his glass out for a refill. "Keep them coming Major."
"Right there with you."