Magis walked along an unfamiliar road, concentrating hard on the perilous quest ahead. Suddenly, he came to enlightenment. Unfortunately, the enlightenment revealed simply that he had no idea how a puny level 1 Elf such as himself was supposed to beat a gigantic Undead Ziggurat in troublesome days such as these. Magis continued to concentrate on the problem with all of his mental strength. After several such minutes, his Elvish ears began to sweat and he collapsed on a nearby patch of sand.
Slightly depressed, Magis got up and walked on. "There must be a solution to this lack of Intelligence", he thought to himself, when all of a sudden and very unexpectedly, he tripped over that solution. "Well, at least I have enough Intelligence to trip over solutions!", smiled Magis in satisfaction, and turned around for a closer inspection of the solution. The solution, however, turned around as well and roared at Magis, who began to suspect that this solution was in fact a little Gnoll rather than a simple note with detailed instructions on how to gain Intelligence points. A second look revealed that the little Gnoll was really a huge and fearsome beast, with sharp teeth and furry ears, known to some as a Gnoll Poacher (Level 1). Magis, however, was a very brave Elf (despite his temporarily low level), and he bravely stood still to inspect the newly found creature, who disliked being stumbled upon and thus growled frighteningly towards Magis.
Suddenly, Magis' eyes lit up like a fresh 75Watt Night Elf Wisp. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?", he carefully asked the Gnoll.
"Grrr!", denied the Gnoll fiercely.
"No, you silly Gnoll", chuckled Magis, "I was talking about killing you to gain experience, and eventually receive more Intelligence points as I reach Level 2!".
"Grrr!", insisted the Gnoll, and recoiled as Magis jumped at him, wielding Elvenblade, his infamous Elven blade.
The Gnoll immidiately switched to defensive position, but his body refused to obey his mind, possibly because his head has very recently been detached from the rest of the body. "Ooh, can you see that?", exclaimed Magis with great satisfaction towards the already decaying Gnoll's head, "My experience bar filled up a bit!".
" ", replied the Gnoll's head without showing too much excitement. "Ah, to hell with you", shrugged Magis and left the scene.
All excited with this new discovery of the connection between creeps and experience, Magis ran off in search for more creeps to kill. "Let's see now", he said to himself Elvishly, "I need to seek and destroy things that aren't slim and tall with long ears...".
"Ooh, here is one of those!", he cried and charged into a nearby patch of vegetation. "Victory!", echoed his Elvish voice through the forest seconds later as Magis arose with the fresh corpse of a sheep lying at his feet.
The effort, however, had been futile, as Magis soon noticed that his experience bar hasn't moved at all. Quickly coming to a conclusion regarding sheep and their refusal to supply him with experience, he continued to roam about the forest in search for other more experience-yielding creeps that can be hunt down.
As Magis roamed some more along the forest, he came to a sudden stop. "Something is suspicious here!", he informed the readers aloud, "For I sense the presence of a large stone!". "Dude, the forest is filled with stones, there's nothing unusual about that!", protested a reader foolishly. Magis considered the matter, and decided that he better hurry on to find real creeps, since the day was already getting darker, possibly an effect of the large human-like piece of granite that now towered above Magis with an evil look carved deep into its granite head.
"Wait just a second", hesitated Magis, "Isn't it too early for nightfall?". He turned around cautiously, just in time to find what seemed to be a Granite Golem (Level 9) preparing to club him down. "AH HA!", shrieked Magis, not forgetting to press his CAPS lock key, "JUST AS I SUSPECTED! A nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep!". "Begone, nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep!", he added at last and charged the nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep with much enthusiasm.
Magis flung Elvenblade, his trusty Elven blade, as high as he could, fiercely bashing the golem's knee, and quickly leaped aside to avoid becoming a small puddle of Elvenjuice under the feet of the creep. The golem, expressing very little pain, tossed a boulder at Magis, who now found himself standing in place for 2 seconds, curiously inspecting the circles above his head.
Once the circles disappeared, Magis was once again able to concentrate on the golem, who seemed to be charging at him again. He briefly considered the danger of the situation, and began to flee in terror, screaming mixed up warcries and cutting down evil blades of grass at random.
Now back in Elvenville, Magis was sitting in his humble, yet generally blue, Elvish dwelling, and satisfactorily reading his ad in the Elvenews newspaper.
"Hear ye, hear ye!", declared the ad majestically (Elvenews was known for its enchanted speaking ads), "Do you enjoy danger? Do you like spending your free time hunting down creeps? Do you get excited merely from the sight of hideus monsters lying on the ground with their body inside-out? Call 555-MagisNeedsToHuntCreeps. And don't forget, hunting creeps is its own reward!".
"Indeed, a fine job!", said Magis proudly to himself, quickly closing his Elvenews before it could finish reciting "Grab your sword and drive a Ford!" in a Footman-like voice.
With his ad loudly reading itself from out the 127th most popular newspaper in Elvenville, Magis sat down and waited for the creeping companionship candidates to arrive in large numbers. Soon, twilight came, quickly followed by darkness. Magis considered asking darkness to join his quest, but the latter seemed to be preoccupied with some Dreadlord or another. He was on the edge of giving up all hope, when he he finally heard a knock on his door. He quickly got to the door and opened it, but found nothing behind it but a strong odor of Dwarven ale.
Deep into the darkness peering, long he stood there, wondering, fearing, Dreaming dreams no Magis ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word "Hey, down here, lad!".
Slightly startled, Magis looked down, just to find a short, yet surprisingly wide, Dwarf, leaning on his battle axe and staring at him with interest.
Back into the chamber turning, all his soul within him burning, Soon again he heard a tapping something louder than before. "Let me in, ye crazy Elf!", shouted the Dwarf from outside and bashed the door once more with his axe. Slightly confused, Magis let the Dwarf in.
"Ye have quite a blue house in here, lad!", remarked the Dwarf. "Now, was it ye who wanted to kill creeps?"
"Yes, it was I!", agreed Magis. "What sort of Elf are you?", he added with curiosity.
"Silly Elf!", laughed the Dwarf, "I am not an Elf, but a proud Dwarf! Toras Largehammer at your service, the mightiest Dwarf in all Elvenville!".
"Oh, I had no idea there were other Dwarves here in Elvenville", said Magis with surprise.
"There aren't any", explained Toras, "Which makes me the mightiest by default! Now, are ye and I going to bash some gnolls or what?".
"Very well then, if you are that strong", announced Magis with the evil grin that he usually wears when evil thoughts go through his mind, "surely you wouldn't mind proving it by performing a simple task...".
"Ah, shut ye mouth, ye crazy Elf!", argued Toras, already out the door, "Let's go bash some gnolls around! Me axe lusts for gnoll blood!".
"What a mean thing to say", thought Magis to himself, grabbed Elvenblade, and walked out the door and into the next paragraph.
Magis and Toras, not necessarily by that order, were walking down the grassy road. Toras was on the lead, to be exact, while Magis hopped cheerfully behind him, giggling at the drunken Dwarvish songs which he kept singing to himself. It was already late in the afternoon, yet the two companions haven't yet come across any gnolls, or indeed of anything worth killing.
"Well, ye are from here", asked Toras once he got tired of the singing, "Where might one find gnolls around these parts?".
"Well, according to the direction of the wind, the height of the grass, and the prophecies of Elune", replied Magis slowly, taking all relevant factors into consideration, "I can honestly say that I have no idea".
Toras spun around quickly, giving Magis a penetrating Dwarvish look in the eyes. "To the left, you say? Aight!", he shouted and charged enthusiastically to the right.
"You know", said Magis to no one in particular, "I begin to suspect that this Dwarf might be drunk!". He considered the matter for a second then decided to quickly follow the Dwarf.
The sun, persistently following the rules of physics set by Blizzard Entertainment, has already set, which was emphasized by the howl of some wolves and by the fog of war that came nearer to our heroes. Toras, nonetheless, chose to go on running, with Magis behind him. Soon enough, Toras got to a dead end, and cleverly stopped running before smashing into the wall ahead. Magis also avoided direct confrontation with the wall, and instead stopped running only after falling over Toras, confronting the road instead.
Toras quickly scouted the few inches of ground around his head. He got up and turned 720 degrees to face Magis.
"Look what you've done, silly Elf!", he growled angrily and tossed a Storm Bolt at Magis, "There's grass and dirt all over me beard!".
"Hey, that thing almost hit me!", complained Magis after masterfully dodging the flying hammer by losing balance and regrouping with the floor.
"What are you smiling at?", he added, and turned around to see what Toras was smiling at.
By a surprising turn of events, most likely unforeseen by any of our readers, the Storm Bolt has hit an invisible Murloc Nightcrawler, which would probably have been unhappy about the matter if he weren't stunned. Magis, very excited about this fishy blue creep, was about to ask Toras what should be done next, when he noticed that Toras was gone. With a puzzled face he turned back to face the Murloc, but found nothing but its corpse beneath the stout legs of a very pleased Dwarf.
"Good, a few more of these and we might gain a level!", commented Toras, and continued to walk right into the nearby wall. After a few more tries he managed to walk along the wall instead, then charged on in search of more prey.
Magis, rather confused by the recent events, shrugged and followed the frenzied Dwarf.
Slightly depressed, Magis got up and walked on. "There must be a solution to this lack of Intelligence", he thought to himself, when all of a sudden and very unexpectedly, he tripped over that solution. "Well, at least I have enough Intelligence to trip over solutions!", smiled Magis in satisfaction, and turned around for a closer inspection of the solution. The solution, however, turned around as well and roared at Magis, who began to suspect that this solution was in fact a little Gnoll rather than a simple note with detailed instructions on how to gain Intelligence points. A second look revealed that the little Gnoll was really a huge and fearsome beast, with sharp teeth and furry ears, known to some as a Gnoll Poacher (Level 1). Magis, however, was a very brave Elf (despite his temporarily low level), and he bravely stood still to inspect the newly found creature, who disliked being stumbled upon and thus growled frighteningly towards Magis.
Suddenly, Magis' eyes lit up like a fresh 75Watt Night Elf Wisp. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?", he carefully asked the Gnoll.
"Grrr!", denied the Gnoll fiercely.
"No, you silly Gnoll", chuckled Magis, "I was talking about killing you to gain experience, and eventually receive more Intelligence points as I reach Level 2!".
"Grrr!", insisted the Gnoll, and recoiled as Magis jumped at him, wielding Elvenblade, his infamous Elven blade.
The Gnoll immidiately switched to defensive position, but his body refused to obey his mind, possibly because his head has very recently been detached from the rest of the body. "Ooh, can you see that?", exclaimed Magis with great satisfaction towards the already decaying Gnoll's head, "My experience bar filled up a bit!".
" ", replied the Gnoll's head without showing too much excitement. "Ah, to hell with you", shrugged Magis and left the scene.
All excited with this new discovery of the connection between creeps and experience, Magis ran off in search for more creeps to kill. "Let's see now", he said to himself Elvishly, "I need to seek and destroy things that aren't slim and tall with long ears...".
"Ooh, here is one of those!", he cried and charged into a nearby patch of vegetation. "Victory!", echoed his Elvish voice through the forest seconds later as Magis arose with the fresh corpse of a sheep lying at his feet.
The effort, however, had been futile, as Magis soon noticed that his experience bar hasn't moved at all. Quickly coming to a conclusion regarding sheep and their refusal to supply him with experience, he continued to roam about the forest in search for other more experience-yielding creeps that can be hunt down.
As Magis roamed some more along the forest, he came to a sudden stop. "Something is suspicious here!", he informed the readers aloud, "For I sense the presence of a large stone!". "Dude, the forest is filled with stones, there's nothing unusual about that!", protested a reader foolishly. Magis considered the matter, and decided that he better hurry on to find real creeps, since the day was already getting darker, possibly an effect of the large human-like piece of granite that now towered above Magis with an evil look carved deep into its granite head.
"Wait just a second", hesitated Magis, "Isn't it too early for nightfall?". He turned around cautiously, just in time to find what seemed to be a Granite Golem (Level 9) preparing to club him down. "AH HA!", shrieked Magis, not forgetting to press his CAPS lock key, "JUST AS I SUSPECTED! A nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep!". "Begone, nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep!", he added at last and charged the nasty gigantic purple experience-yielding creep with much enthusiasm.
Magis flung Elvenblade, his trusty Elven blade, as high as he could, fiercely bashing the golem's knee, and quickly leaped aside to avoid becoming a small puddle of Elvenjuice under the feet of the creep. The golem, expressing very little pain, tossed a boulder at Magis, who now found himself standing in place for 2 seconds, curiously inspecting the circles above his head.
Once the circles disappeared, Magis was once again able to concentrate on the golem, who seemed to be charging at him again. He briefly considered the danger of the situation, and began to flee in terror, screaming mixed up warcries and cutting down evil blades of grass at random.
Now back in Elvenville, Magis was sitting in his humble, yet generally blue, Elvish dwelling, and satisfactorily reading his ad in the Elvenews newspaper.
"Hear ye, hear ye!", declared the ad majestically (Elvenews was known for its enchanted speaking ads), "Do you enjoy danger? Do you like spending your free time hunting down creeps? Do you get excited merely from the sight of hideus monsters lying on the ground with their body inside-out? Call 555-MagisNeedsToHuntCreeps. And don't forget, hunting creeps is its own reward!".
"Indeed, a fine job!", said Magis proudly to himself, quickly closing his Elvenews before it could finish reciting "Grab your sword and drive a Ford!" in a Footman-like voice.
With his ad loudly reading itself from out the 127th most popular newspaper in Elvenville, Magis sat down and waited for the creeping companionship candidates to arrive in large numbers. Soon, twilight came, quickly followed by darkness. Magis considered asking darkness to join his quest, but the latter seemed to be preoccupied with some Dreadlord or another. He was on the edge of giving up all hope, when he he finally heard a knock on his door. He quickly got to the door and opened it, but found nothing behind it but a strong odor of Dwarven ale.
Deep into the darkness peering, long he stood there, wondering, fearing, Dreaming dreams no Magis ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word "Hey, down here, lad!".
Slightly startled, Magis looked down, just to find a short, yet surprisingly wide, Dwarf, leaning on his battle axe and staring at him with interest.
Back into the chamber turning, all his soul within him burning, Soon again he heard a tapping something louder than before. "Let me in, ye crazy Elf!", shouted the Dwarf from outside and bashed the door once more with his axe. Slightly confused, Magis let the Dwarf in.
"Ye have quite a blue house in here, lad!", remarked the Dwarf. "Now, was it ye who wanted to kill creeps?"
"Yes, it was I!", agreed Magis. "What sort of Elf are you?", he added with curiosity.
"Silly Elf!", laughed the Dwarf, "I am not an Elf, but a proud Dwarf! Toras Largehammer at your service, the mightiest Dwarf in all Elvenville!".
"Oh, I had no idea there were other Dwarves here in Elvenville", said Magis with surprise.
"There aren't any", explained Toras, "Which makes me the mightiest by default! Now, are ye and I going to bash some gnolls or what?".
"Very well then, if you are that strong", announced Magis with the evil grin that he usually wears when evil thoughts go through his mind, "surely you wouldn't mind proving it by performing a simple task...".
"Ah, shut ye mouth, ye crazy Elf!", argued Toras, already out the door, "Let's go bash some gnolls around! Me axe lusts for gnoll blood!".
"What a mean thing to say", thought Magis to himself, grabbed Elvenblade, and walked out the door and into the next paragraph.
Magis and Toras, not necessarily by that order, were walking down the grassy road. Toras was on the lead, to be exact, while Magis hopped cheerfully behind him, giggling at the drunken Dwarvish songs which he kept singing to himself. It was already late in the afternoon, yet the two companions haven't yet come across any gnolls, or indeed of anything worth killing.
"Well, ye are from here", asked Toras once he got tired of the singing, "Where might one find gnolls around these parts?".
"Well, according to the direction of the wind, the height of the grass, and the prophecies of Elune", replied Magis slowly, taking all relevant factors into consideration, "I can honestly say that I have no idea".
Toras spun around quickly, giving Magis a penetrating Dwarvish look in the eyes. "To the left, you say? Aight!", he shouted and charged enthusiastically to the right.
"You know", said Magis to no one in particular, "I begin to suspect that this Dwarf might be drunk!". He considered the matter for a second then decided to quickly follow the Dwarf.
The sun, persistently following the rules of physics set by Blizzard Entertainment, has already set, which was emphasized by the howl of some wolves and by the fog of war that came nearer to our heroes. Toras, nonetheless, chose to go on running, with Magis behind him. Soon enough, Toras got to a dead end, and cleverly stopped running before smashing into the wall ahead. Magis also avoided direct confrontation with the wall, and instead stopped running only after falling over Toras, confronting the road instead.
Toras quickly scouted the few inches of ground around his head. He got up and turned 720 degrees to face Magis.
"Look what you've done, silly Elf!", he growled angrily and tossed a Storm Bolt at Magis, "There's grass and dirt all over me beard!".
"Hey, that thing almost hit me!", complained Magis after masterfully dodging the flying hammer by losing balance and regrouping with the floor.
"What are you smiling at?", he added, and turned around to see what Toras was smiling at.
By a surprising turn of events, most likely unforeseen by any of our readers, the Storm Bolt has hit an invisible Murloc Nightcrawler, which would probably have been unhappy about the matter if he weren't stunned. Magis, very excited about this fishy blue creep, was about to ask Toras what should be done next, when he noticed that Toras was gone. With a puzzled face he turned back to face the Murloc, but found nothing but its corpse beneath the stout legs of a very pleased Dwarf.
"Good, a few more of these and we might gain a level!", commented Toras, and continued to walk right into the nearby wall. After a few more tries he managed to walk along the wall instead, then charged on in search of more prey.
Magis, rather confused by the recent events, shrugged and followed the frenzied Dwarf.