Ay yi yi. Okay, I realize that this story is completely berserk and weird.
That's okay. Meanwhile, keep in mind that my partner-in-crime (co-author)
and I are switching chapters, so the writing style might differ a little
bit. I accept any kind of review, so pile 'em on (er, the bad AND the
good). Also, if you don't know who the New Kids on the Block are (the
group whose song we're basing this story on), then you need to go research
your 80s and early 90s pop music (strangely enough, Step by Step - the song
we're using - was originally released on my co-author's birthday thirteen
years ago. Go figure.) Ish, enough of my rambling.
Disclaimer: we do not own these characters or the song, as unfortunate as that may be. Although the song makes good running music!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Everyone gathered around a small piece of paper pinned up on the wall, pushing and shoving to see what news it beheld.
"Ron?! Can you see it?" shouted Harry above the crowd. His red headed friend, being so tall, was usually able to peer over their heads of their fellow classmates.
"Kind of! Something about a show of some sort. oof!" Harry watched as Ron fell to the ground, the wind knocked out of him. Apparently in the midst of the crowd, one of the younger first years had accidentally run into Ron, only reaching to about his waist. After checking to see that his friend was okay and beginning to receive oxygen again, Harry began laughing at him hysterically. Ron's face was roughly the same shade of his hair, making him look like an overripe strawberry.
Still unable to stand up without wincing or grabbing his side, the two friends sat there for several minutes, and stopped fighting to see what was on the paper. Just as they were about to go at it again, their friend Hermione showed up.
"Oh, don't tell me that you're among the crowd trying to get at that stupid paper."
"Yeah, and I bet you already know what's on it, don't you?" sneered Ron.
"Of course I do. Don't you?"
'"Of course I do'," mimicked Ron. "No, we don't. Why don't you enlighten us?"
"I'd rather not, because then you'll only ask why I know already," she replied snootily.
"That was inevitable, Hermione, so why don't you just let us in on it and tell us how you know along the way?" asked Harry. Hermione shot him a withering glance and then heaved a great sigh.
"They're holding some sort of talent show. the staff is using it as means to integrate the new surge of Muggle born students into the school. To make them feel more at home, like," she replied, as if it were obvious. The two boys shared a glance at each other. She still hadn't answered the other question. "Oh, all right, all right. I know already because Professor McGonagall asked me to stage manage and I agreed."
"Stage manage?" asked Ron stupidly.
"Yeah, like run the whole thing," said Harry.
"Ohhhh. are you going to have time to do that, Hermione?"
"What are you implying?" she asked icily.
"Well, you just tend to study a lot, that's all," replied Ron, stating the obvious.
"Not ALL the time. It'll be fine. Besides, it's not like you two are going to do anything in it, so don't be worried. Even if you were, I've seen you do stupider things before. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to Professor Flitwick before class." She grabbed her book bag and headed down the corridor.
"Well, at least we didn't want to do anything stupid. We'd never live that one down," laughed Ron. Then he looked at Harry's face. He was shaking his head and looking at Ron like his brain had just slithered out of his ears. "What's the matter with you?"
"Don't you see, Ron? This is the perfect chance to impress. well, you know!" Harry blurted out.
"Not if she's 'stage handling' or whatever it's called!"
"-stage managing-"
"-Whatever. No way, she'll think I'm a complete idiot!"
"No offense, Ron, but she kind of already does." Ron smacked Harry on the back of the head. "By the way, why are you always so rude to her? It just makes her snap at you and then I have to listen to you complain about how she doesn't like you for the rest of the day." Ron hung his head.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like if I'm nice to her, she'll cotton on to how I feel about her. I'd NEVER be able to live that down." Ron looked at Harry again. "What did you have in mind for this talent show anyways?"
"Well, we'd have to get Neville, Dean, and Seamus involved, but I think they'd be cool with it, especially if we promise them Susan, Parvati, and Lavender will be impressed."
"Harry, we don't even know if Ginny or Hermione will be impressed. Well, Ginny will be if you're in it," responded Ron. "Come on, out with it."
"Well, okay, there's this Muggle group that Dudley's absolutely obsessed with. I really don't understand why because they went out of style like a decade ago. But anyways, they're called the New Kids on the Block and they did this song, Step by Step. I know it by heart because Dudley always sings it. It's totally perfect for all five of us to do together! We just have to get a really good dance routine with it!"
"Hold the phone," said Ron. "You want us to sing AND dance?"
"Well, a couple of us can sing and the others can dance."
"Harry, look who you're talking about here! Neville can't sing OR dance. And which ones of us did you have in mind for singing?"
"Okay, there's this one part where all five of us have to sing, and we'll have plenty of rehearsal time, so we'll be able to do cool stuff. And we can get a really kick-ass Summoning spell going on-"
".as long as Seamus doesn't do the Summoning Spell."
"Yeah, and we can have Neville go flying around and stuff while we sing. It'll be cool, because he's used to it enough."
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You're off your head." Harry grinned at Ron. Ron sighed and threw up his hands. "Fine!! Fine, fine, fine. I'll do it. Let's go find the others." They started toward the Gryffindor tower. They still had a good twenty minutes before Charms class.
"You'll see, Ron. It'll be great."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm suing you if I get humiliated beyond all belief."
"You can't sue me. I'm doing this too."
* * *
"Boys! Boys! You must pay attention!" scolded tiny Professor Flitwick. "Stop with all this whispering! Ten points from Gryffindor! You will all receive detentions if you keep this up!" Half an hour later, the Gryffindor sixth year male population found themselves being reprimanded (yet again) by the miniature Charms professor.
Harry and Ron had found the other three Gryffindor sixth years and let them in on their plan. At first, they all refused, until Harry started in on the same spiel he had given Ron. Unfortunately, they had to run to Charms class before Harry had finished. They had spent the last half hour whispering to each other to get the full plan.
"Yes, professor," they chorused in unison. The last thing they wanted was a detention ruining the rigorous rehearsal schedule they had worked out. It was an excruciating hour before Flitwick finally released them. The five Gryffindor boys headed down to the Great Hall together to grab lunch and then go back to their dormitories to continue planning.
Hermione was very confused, but figured that boys would be boys and buried herself in a book. She needed to get ahead if she was going to be spending time working on this show.
* * *
"All right, guys, here's the game plan as is," said Harry, laying out the act like a Quidditch match. "I'll get the song-"
"How?" interrupted Seamus.
"Never mind how, Seamus! I'll just get it, okay?" replied an exasperated Harry. He hated when people interrupted his game plans. The twins were notorious for it. "Okay, so then we split into three groups - two of us will come out stage left and two will come out stage right, and one will come from up center. With me so far?"
"Wait a minute," said Neville. "I don't get which one is stage right and which one is stage left. It gets me confused."
"It's very simple, Neville. You see, stage left is to the audience's left- "
"That's not right," said Dean. "It's to the actor's left."
"No, I don't think so."
"Yes, it is."
"Guys, why don't we just ask Hermione?" suggested Ron. They all nodded in agreement. This was, obviously, the best solution.
"Okay, so anyways, then we start strutting around stage and singing and stuff."
"Oh God," the other four groaned.
"Yeah, so that's all we've got so far. I think we need to work it out in rehearsal, so that we can actually see it in action, you know?" The other four looked at Harry and nodded grimly. They couldn't back out now; their women were at stake. Their first rehearsal would be tomorrow night. Harry first had to ask Professor McGonagall permission to use an empty classroom.
Disclaimer: we do not own these characters or the song, as unfortunate as that may be. Although the song makes good running music!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Everyone gathered around a small piece of paper pinned up on the wall, pushing and shoving to see what news it beheld.
"Ron?! Can you see it?" shouted Harry above the crowd. His red headed friend, being so tall, was usually able to peer over their heads of their fellow classmates.
"Kind of! Something about a show of some sort. oof!" Harry watched as Ron fell to the ground, the wind knocked out of him. Apparently in the midst of the crowd, one of the younger first years had accidentally run into Ron, only reaching to about his waist. After checking to see that his friend was okay and beginning to receive oxygen again, Harry began laughing at him hysterically. Ron's face was roughly the same shade of his hair, making him look like an overripe strawberry.
Still unable to stand up without wincing or grabbing his side, the two friends sat there for several minutes, and stopped fighting to see what was on the paper. Just as they were about to go at it again, their friend Hermione showed up.
"Oh, don't tell me that you're among the crowd trying to get at that stupid paper."
"Yeah, and I bet you already know what's on it, don't you?" sneered Ron.
"Of course I do. Don't you?"
'"Of course I do'," mimicked Ron. "No, we don't. Why don't you enlighten us?"
"I'd rather not, because then you'll only ask why I know already," she replied snootily.
"That was inevitable, Hermione, so why don't you just let us in on it and tell us how you know along the way?" asked Harry. Hermione shot him a withering glance and then heaved a great sigh.
"They're holding some sort of talent show. the staff is using it as means to integrate the new surge of Muggle born students into the school. To make them feel more at home, like," she replied, as if it were obvious. The two boys shared a glance at each other. She still hadn't answered the other question. "Oh, all right, all right. I know already because Professor McGonagall asked me to stage manage and I agreed."
"Stage manage?" asked Ron stupidly.
"Yeah, like run the whole thing," said Harry.
"Ohhhh. are you going to have time to do that, Hermione?"
"What are you implying?" she asked icily.
"Well, you just tend to study a lot, that's all," replied Ron, stating the obvious.
"Not ALL the time. It'll be fine. Besides, it's not like you two are going to do anything in it, so don't be worried. Even if you were, I've seen you do stupider things before. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to Professor Flitwick before class." She grabbed her book bag and headed down the corridor.
"Well, at least we didn't want to do anything stupid. We'd never live that one down," laughed Ron. Then he looked at Harry's face. He was shaking his head and looking at Ron like his brain had just slithered out of his ears. "What's the matter with you?"
"Don't you see, Ron? This is the perfect chance to impress. well, you know!" Harry blurted out.
"Not if she's 'stage handling' or whatever it's called!"
"-stage managing-"
"-Whatever. No way, she'll think I'm a complete idiot!"
"No offense, Ron, but she kind of already does." Ron smacked Harry on the back of the head. "By the way, why are you always so rude to her? It just makes her snap at you and then I have to listen to you complain about how she doesn't like you for the rest of the day." Ron hung his head.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like if I'm nice to her, she'll cotton on to how I feel about her. I'd NEVER be able to live that down." Ron looked at Harry again. "What did you have in mind for this talent show anyways?"
"Well, we'd have to get Neville, Dean, and Seamus involved, but I think they'd be cool with it, especially if we promise them Susan, Parvati, and Lavender will be impressed."
"Harry, we don't even know if Ginny or Hermione will be impressed. Well, Ginny will be if you're in it," responded Ron. "Come on, out with it."
"Well, okay, there's this Muggle group that Dudley's absolutely obsessed with. I really don't understand why because they went out of style like a decade ago. But anyways, they're called the New Kids on the Block and they did this song, Step by Step. I know it by heart because Dudley always sings it. It's totally perfect for all five of us to do together! We just have to get a really good dance routine with it!"
"Hold the phone," said Ron. "You want us to sing AND dance?"
"Well, a couple of us can sing and the others can dance."
"Harry, look who you're talking about here! Neville can't sing OR dance. And which ones of us did you have in mind for singing?"
"Okay, there's this one part where all five of us have to sing, and we'll have plenty of rehearsal time, so we'll be able to do cool stuff. And we can get a really kick-ass Summoning spell going on-"
".as long as Seamus doesn't do the Summoning Spell."
"Yeah, and we can have Neville go flying around and stuff while we sing. It'll be cool, because he's used to it enough."
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You're off your head." Harry grinned at Ron. Ron sighed and threw up his hands. "Fine!! Fine, fine, fine. I'll do it. Let's go find the others." They started toward the Gryffindor tower. They still had a good twenty minutes before Charms class.
"You'll see, Ron. It'll be great."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm suing you if I get humiliated beyond all belief."
"You can't sue me. I'm doing this too."
* * *
"Boys! Boys! You must pay attention!" scolded tiny Professor Flitwick. "Stop with all this whispering! Ten points from Gryffindor! You will all receive detentions if you keep this up!" Half an hour later, the Gryffindor sixth year male population found themselves being reprimanded (yet again) by the miniature Charms professor.
Harry and Ron had found the other three Gryffindor sixth years and let them in on their plan. At first, they all refused, until Harry started in on the same spiel he had given Ron. Unfortunately, they had to run to Charms class before Harry had finished. They had spent the last half hour whispering to each other to get the full plan.
"Yes, professor," they chorused in unison. The last thing they wanted was a detention ruining the rigorous rehearsal schedule they had worked out. It was an excruciating hour before Flitwick finally released them. The five Gryffindor boys headed down to the Great Hall together to grab lunch and then go back to their dormitories to continue planning.
Hermione was very confused, but figured that boys would be boys and buried herself in a book. She needed to get ahead if she was going to be spending time working on this show.
* * *
"All right, guys, here's the game plan as is," said Harry, laying out the act like a Quidditch match. "I'll get the song-"
"How?" interrupted Seamus.
"Never mind how, Seamus! I'll just get it, okay?" replied an exasperated Harry. He hated when people interrupted his game plans. The twins were notorious for it. "Okay, so then we split into three groups - two of us will come out stage left and two will come out stage right, and one will come from up center. With me so far?"
"Wait a minute," said Neville. "I don't get which one is stage right and which one is stage left. It gets me confused."
"It's very simple, Neville. You see, stage left is to the audience's left- "
"That's not right," said Dean. "It's to the actor's left."
"No, I don't think so."
"Yes, it is."
"Guys, why don't we just ask Hermione?" suggested Ron. They all nodded in agreement. This was, obviously, the best solution.
"Okay, so anyways, then we start strutting around stage and singing and stuff."
"Oh God," the other four groaned.
"Yeah, so that's all we've got so far. I think we need to work it out in rehearsal, so that we can actually see it in action, you know?" The other four looked at Harry and nodded grimly. They couldn't back out now; their women were at stake. Their first rehearsal would be tomorrow night. Harry first had to ask Professor McGonagall permission to use an empty classroom.