Bunions, Life on the Streets
*From the Files of Hairy Cankle*
Part 4
Season 1 Episode 4
Guest Writer: TongueFu
The mythical origin of the SoopDragon
We enter once again into the Judge's Chambers. He is surrounded by forty five naked women who are rubbing and caressing him and each other. A few of the girls in the back are engaging in a tongue kiss. There is a midget- chick with 37EEE boobs kneeling at his feet. He is sipping beer from his golden goblet.
JUDGE Hey folks, it's me, Judge, everybody's favorite Oracle. Seems as though you came by for another story. Well... today I got a doozy for you. It is the Legend, folklore, fairy tale... it's the kinda shit that nightmares are made of... It's... The mythical origin of the SoopDragon.
Please... enjoy.
(Camera fades out as the women begin to climb all over Judge, camera fades up to a cave opening on the side of a mountain.)
In the darkness, the beast shifted.
She lifted her heavy, spiked tail and blew from beneath it a foul, oily, gelatinous spray.
The dragon had been raped.
The conquerors had come in the night. Three of them, armored and bewitched, had taken turns brutalizing her.
The Jabberwock had been first. His shrill, nonsensical utterances had pierced the darkness as icily as his thrusts had penetrated her avian- reptilian loins.
Next came the Barbarian. Careless of his own safety, less of hers, he imbued her with his indomitable seed. If he died in commission of this unutterable sin, it would be worth it to have satisfied his immediate lustful need.
And the last. The third. The final, anguished humiliation. An Alabriton. The reviled and despised mistake of a mother from Alabama and a father from Britain, possessing the worst qualities of each. He, too, had left his spoor within her.
And now, a night later, the dragoness knew their seed had found her fertile, and had taken hold.
She could only lie still, eat a little food, and wait.
* * *
As the bastard monstrosity grew within her, Murrrr grew certain that while her offspring would wield power, mighty power, it would appear hideous and grotesque to all who had the misfortune to behold it. It would speak the gibberish of its first Father, possess the steely cruelty of its second, and be cursed and abhorred in same manner as was its final Father.
* * *
Murrrr knew her life was over even before she felt the claws and fangs of her misbegotten spawn rip her open, splitting her nearly in two, splattering blood and mucus and rage across the walls and floor of the cave.
Standing on his own, the terror, the SoopDragon, pierced his mother's belly with his fangs, snapped his head up, and dashed her limp body against the high ceiling of her lair. She fell unnoticed to the floor and was still.
The horror, the Beast of prophesy, strode to the opening of the cave. Instinct told him to fly west, across the mountains, across the sea. Fly to the side of the Master who had called to him since the moment of his grisly conception. The Master promised food, of the most disgusting, delectable sort. In never-ending supply.
Unfurling his greasy, scabrous wings, the SoopDragon answered the Master's call...
(fade to black)
Part 4
Season 1 Episode 4
Guest Writer: TongueFu
The mythical origin of the SoopDragon
We enter once again into the Judge's Chambers. He is surrounded by forty five naked women who are rubbing and caressing him and each other. A few of the girls in the back are engaging in a tongue kiss. There is a midget- chick with 37EEE boobs kneeling at his feet. He is sipping beer from his golden goblet.
JUDGE Hey folks, it's me, Judge, everybody's favorite Oracle. Seems as though you came by for another story. Well... today I got a doozy for you. It is the Legend, folklore, fairy tale... it's the kinda shit that nightmares are made of... It's... The mythical origin of the SoopDragon.
Please... enjoy.
(Camera fades out as the women begin to climb all over Judge, camera fades up to a cave opening on the side of a mountain.)
In the darkness, the beast shifted.
She lifted her heavy, spiked tail and blew from beneath it a foul, oily, gelatinous spray.
The dragon had been raped.
The conquerors had come in the night. Three of them, armored and bewitched, had taken turns brutalizing her.
The Jabberwock had been first. His shrill, nonsensical utterances had pierced the darkness as icily as his thrusts had penetrated her avian- reptilian loins.
Next came the Barbarian. Careless of his own safety, less of hers, he imbued her with his indomitable seed. If he died in commission of this unutterable sin, it would be worth it to have satisfied his immediate lustful need.
And the last. The third. The final, anguished humiliation. An Alabriton. The reviled and despised mistake of a mother from Alabama and a father from Britain, possessing the worst qualities of each. He, too, had left his spoor within her.
And now, a night later, the dragoness knew their seed had found her fertile, and had taken hold.
She could only lie still, eat a little food, and wait.
* * *
As the bastard monstrosity grew within her, Murrrr grew certain that while her offspring would wield power, mighty power, it would appear hideous and grotesque to all who had the misfortune to behold it. It would speak the gibberish of its first Father, possess the steely cruelty of its second, and be cursed and abhorred in same manner as was its final Father.
* * *
Murrrr knew her life was over even before she felt the claws and fangs of her misbegotten spawn rip her open, splitting her nearly in two, splattering blood and mucus and rage across the walls and floor of the cave.
Standing on his own, the terror, the SoopDragon, pierced his mother's belly with his fangs, snapped his head up, and dashed her limp body against the high ceiling of her lair. She fell unnoticed to the floor and was still.
The horror, the Beast of prophesy, strode to the opening of the cave. Instinct told him to fly west, across the mountains, across the sea. Fly to the side of the Master who had called to him since the moment of his grisly conception. The Master promised food, of the most disgusting, delectable sort. In never-ending supply.
Unfurling his greasy, scabrous wings, the SoopDragon answered the Master's call...
(fade to black)