Disclamier: Okay I think I'll stop doing this now.....*Grins*
Okay.....What's wrong with my first Chapter? I have gotten four 'complaints' off-line saying how my story isn't "right", And when I ask they have only read the frist chapter! I don't mean to gripe I just want to know what's worng?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two young girls laughed and talked as they got ready for the Dance.
Lenna brushed her neice's hair, "Still can't belive nobody has figured it out!"
Esther sat up and pulled her hair back, "Figured out what?"
"That your Dumbledore's Grand-daughter....."
Esther lauged, "Well duh! That's becuse your Fred keeps a good secert!"
Lenna ignored Esther then went on, "Well think about it. They ALL know your my neice, and that Dumbledore is my Dad. I mean..."
Esther pulled on her ribbion, "Well Alenna is his second marriage....After Grandma Rosmary died."
"Still......" Lenna put a fake sliver flower in her hair, "how do you like it?"
"I'm sure Fred will love it, if that's what you mean." She stated plainly, Lenna hit her neice upside the head with a pillow.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther, Lenna, Fred and George made there way down to meet Justin and George's date.
Beside Justin was a girl with waist-lengthed dark hair and soft dark blue eyes. Esther's eyes widened, "Tammy?"
Tammy eyes sparkled when she laughed, "Yup it's me!"
"Who's your date?"
George coughed, "Me...." Lenna raised her eye brows, "You George?"
Tammy nodded, "Sure...He asked and I said yes."
Esther laughed, "You sound like Lenna and Fred..."
Fred pushed Esther, "Come off it Esther!"
So the pairs, Justin Fred George made their way down to the dance.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After the dance Justin asked to take Esther back up to the Common Room. Esther nodded, as Fred and Lenna went off by themselfs.
"Sure...."
The two sat down on some stairs and talked. Esther liked being around Justin. He was shy and quiet, but very bright and sweet. He was fun to talk to.
"....and Mum and I ran down the hill so fast that we fell into a pile of mud." Esther told laughing. Justin laughed, "She sounds like loads of fun..." Justin sighed, "Do you miss her?
Esther nodded, "Yes.....She's hurt and I feel so bad to be having fun at school teasing Fred and Lenny, while she in the hospital."
Justin put a reasuring arm on her shoulder, "I sure she'll understand. From what you've told me about her she'd be teaseing Lenna too."
Esther laughed and nodded, feeling alot better. Fred and Lenna came down the stairs, "Hey Freddy! Hey Leni! Have fun?"
Fred rolled his eyes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lenna helped Esther pack the next afternoon to leave. Sadly, Lenna looked her neice running around tring to get ready to leave. "Essie?" She said stopping her for a moment, "You okay?"
Esther grabbed the shrit Lenna was folding up and threw it in her bag, "Yeah....yeah I'm fine." She stared at her bag, all the clothes Lenna had folded for her haywire neice were rumpled and wrinkled. Lenna giggled, Esther sighed and clicked her suitcase shut. "Shut up Lenny...." She whispered taking her bag down stairs.
Fred, George and Lenna's suitcases lay in a pile. Harry, Hermoine and Ron sitting beside them. Esther threw her's on top.
"Done....hey Guys." Harry smiled, "Hey Essie, "
Esther nodded,"Hey guys..oh gosh." She looked at her watch, "I gotta go too. See ya guys, Ron?"
Ron looked up from the chess game he was playing agiast Harry, "Yeah?"
Esther smiled, "You better not do anything studpid while I'm gone. Or I'll smack you one when I get back." Ron smiled, "Sure...."
Esther ruffled his hair as she made her way out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther helped Hadrig load the last of a baggage onto the train. Hadrig talked as Esther sat down staring at Hogwarts.
"Hmm..."She said relizing the last thing Hadrig said was a qestion. Hadrig smiled, "Your Mother was...is a fine lady. Was always kind to me when she came down. She has too much good in her for her to die. 'right?" The giant man smiled, "Your just like her..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther had fallen asleep on the train. The dream she had was horrible. She was at her Brother, Jake's house. Gloria, his wife was crying, holding Jameson, their son. She tried to comfort Gloria, but her hand went right through, She couldn't see her.
"Give us the boy...."
Gloria held Jamie tighter, "No....."
Jake stood in front of his wife, "Malfoy! Go jump in a lake." He pointed his wand. Lucius Malfoy. Came into Esther's veiw. Esther screamed, her voice mingled with Gloria's, Jake body lay on the floor. Two men in black, pryed Jamie from Gloria's grip, the woman trying to keep ahold of the cring baby and her husband's dead body. Jamie screamed as His mother was kicked, Esther screamed.
"Esther...." The picture became white though she could still hear her nephew's screams. She fell to the ground and covered her ears.
"Esther!"
'Go away!'
"Esther....Wake up!"
The lady was back.....She was walking toward Esther. She seemed angery, upset.
"Esther!" Her voice snapped. "Get up!"
"GO AWAY!!!!"
"No......."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Okay.....What's wrong with my first Chapter? I have gotten four 'complaints' off-line saying how my story isn't "right", And when I ask they have only read the frist chapter! I don't mean to gripe I just want to know what's worng?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two young girls laughed and talked as they got ready for the Dance.
Lenna brushed her neice's hair, "Still can't belive nobody has figured it out!"
Esther sat up and pulled her hair back, "Figured out what?"
"That your Dumbledore's Grand-daughter....."
Esther lauged, "Well duh! That's becuse your Fred keeps a good secert!"
Lenna ignored Esther then went on, "Well think about it. They ALL know your my neice, and that Dumbledore is my Dad. I mean..."
Esther pulled on her ribbion, "Well Alenna is his second marriage....After Grandma Rosmary died."
"Still......" Lenna put a fake sliver flower in her hair, "how do you like it?"
"I'm sure Fred will love it, if that's what you mean." She stated plainly, Lenna hit her neice upside the head with a pillow.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther, Lenna, Fred and George made there way down to meet Justin and George's date.
Beside Justin was a girl with waist-lengthed dark hair and soft dark blue eyes. Esther's eyes widened, "Tammy?"
Tammy eyes sparkled when she laughed, "Yup it's me!"
"Who's your date?"
George coughed, "Me...." Lenna raised her eye brows, "You George?"
Tammy nodded, "Sure...He asked and I said yes."
Esther laughed, "You sound like Lenna and Fred..."
Fred pushed Esther, "Come off it Esther!"
So the pairs, Justin Fred George made their way down to the dance.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After the dance Justin asked to take Esther back up to the Common Room. Esther nodded, as Fred and Lenna went off by themselfs.
"Sure...."
The two sat down on some stairs and talked. Esther liked being around Justin. He was shy and quiet, but very bright and sweet. He was fun to talk to.
"....and Mum and I ran down the hill so fast that we fell into a pile of mud." Esther told laughing. Justin laughed, "She sounds like loads of fun..." Justin sighed, "Do you miss her?
Esther nodded, "Yes.....She's hurt and I feel so bad to be having fun at school teasing Fred and Lenny, while she in the hospital."
Justin put a reasuring arm on her shoulder, "I sure she'll understand. From what you've told me about her she'd be teaseing Lenna too."
Esther laughed and nodded, feeling alot better. Fred and Lenna came down the stairs, "Hey Freddy! Hey Leni! Have fun?"
Fred rolled his eyes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lenna helped Esther pack the next afternoon to leave. Sadly, Lenna looked her neice running around tring to get ready to leave. "Essie?" She said stopping her for a moment, "You okay?"
Esther grabbed the shrit Lenna was folding up and threw it in her bag, "Yeah....yeah I'm fine." She stared at her bag, all the clothes Lenna had folded for her haywire neice were rumpled and wrinkled. Lenna giggled, Esther sighed and clicked her suitcase shut. "Shut up Lenny...." She whispered taking her bag down stairs.
Fred, George and Lenna's suitcases lay in a pile. Harry, Hermoine and Ron sitting beside them. Esther threw her's on top.
"Done....hey Guys." Harry smiled, "Hey Essie, "
Esther nodded,"Hey guys..oh gosh." She looked at her watch, "I gotta go too. See ya guys, Ron?"
Ron looked up from the chess game he was playing agiast Harry, "Yeah?"
Esther smiled, "You better not do anything studpid while I'm gone. Or I'll smack you one when I get back." Ron smiled, "Sure...."
Esther ruffled his hair as she made her way out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther helped Hadrig load the last of a baggage onto the train. Hadrig talked as Esther sat down staring at Hogwarts.
"Hmm..."She said relizing the last thing Hadrig said was a qestion. Hadrig smiled, "Your Mother was...is a fine lady. Was always kind to me when she came down. She has too much good in her for her to die. 'right?" The giant man smiled, "Your just like her..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Esther had fallen asleep on the train. The dream she had was horrible. She was at her Brother, Jake's house. Gloria, his wife was crying, holding Jameson, their son. She tried to comfort Gloria, but her hand went right through, She couldn't see her.
"Give us the boy...."
Gloria held Jamie tighter, "No....."
Jake stood in front of his wife, "Malfoy! Go jump in a lake." He pointed his wand. Lucius Malfoy. Came into Esther's veiw. Esther screamed, her voice mingled with Gloria's, Jake body lay on the floor. Two men in black, pryed Jamie from Gloria's grip, the woman trying to keep ahold of the cring baby and her husband's dead body. Jamie screamed as His mother was kicked, Esther screamed.
"Esther...." The picture became white though she could still hear her nephew's screams. She fell to the ground and covered her ears.
"Esther!"
'Go away!'
"Esther....Wake up!"
The lady was back.....She was walking toward Esther. She seemed angery, upset.
"Esther!" Her voice snapped. "Get up!"
"GO AWAY!!!!"
"No......."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~