More Trouble With Summons
By Dixxy
"MMMPHHH! MMMPHH!!"
"I don't know, Genie, I think he said that he wants ME!"
"No, no, no! He wants ME!" said Genie, pointing at herself. "I'M the more powerful summon so I'M the one he should like better you low down dirty little wood nymph! I control the wind and everyone KNOWS the Wind based Green elements are much stronger than Plant based Green elements!"
"But I'M prettier! I have butterfly wings and you don't!"
Glenn groaned. He had been listening to the two psychotic summons for the past hour and a half and he was beginning to worry. No, scratch that, he'd begun worrying eighty nine minutes earlier. Now he was starting to panic. This time they had most definitely gone WAY too far.
It had started simple enough. Serge was going after something that required more magic skills than it did power, which meant that while some of the more magically inclined party members (namely Guile and Marcy) got to go while everyone else stayed behind. That was fine with Glenn- he wanted a break anyways.
Unfortunately, the two Green summons had other plans for him. After arriving at his small cabin like home in Termina, the two had decided to summon themselves to try and win him over. Like the many other times, Glenn turned them down and asked to be left alone. Normally they would give up after a while, go back to wherever they go whenever they haven't been summoned, and leave him be.
Not this time.
This time the two had decided to try something very desperate. He should have known something was up when they gave each other that knowing smile and then turned to hi, sauntering over to him as they swung their hips. Glenn had gulped. This time they had a look in their eyes that had devious.
Before Glenn knew what hit him, the two summons had pinned him to his bed. Thinking the worst, he had tried to scream for help, but one of them (he wasn't sure which one) had stuck something in his mouth to prevent him from screaming. While he tried desperately to break away from them, he eventually found himself tied hand and foot, extra rope locking his knees together. With one summon holding him by his hands and the other by his feet, they'd carried him out of the cabin and flown off.
Their destination? Gaia's Navel, the most unlikely place that anyone would go. After tying him to the base of a tree trunk, the two summons had begun to discuss which of the two would be most suited to him. Not to his surprise, each summon thought they were better suited to him themselves (he, however, would rather spend a night on the Isle of the Damned with Skelly than find himself involved with either summon- Glenn HATED skeletons).
Now, ninety-one minutes later, he was still being held captive by the crazed psychopaths. And they were still arguing. And they showed no sign of stopping. Worse yet, they showed no sign of letting him go and there was no sign of someone coming to his rescue. SERGE! KID! LEENA! KARSH! RAZZLY! NORRIS! ANYBODY! HELP ME! he mentally pleaded.
Glenn looked upwards to where his wrists were tied and struggled to free them from the vines they had wrapped him in. It was no use- they only seemed to tighten the more he tugged at them- probably Sonja's doing. They had him tied up pretty tightly- he wasn't going anywhere without their consent.
Realizing that there really wasn't much else to do aside from hope for a rescue, Glenn turned his attention back to the two obsessive summons and pray that Serge or someone else found him before one of two bad things happened. They were either a) one of them killed the other and claimed his as their own, b) they decided that Glenn would make a great bigamist and he found himself stuck with both of them, or c) something worse. The Dragoon really didn't like any of the scenarios, though scenario "c" seemed like the least favorite choice.
The two summons stopped arguing and turned to him again. "Well, Glenn? Who do you like better?" asked Sonja, striking a "sexy" pose. "You like me better than Genie, right? You want someone more in tune with nature, right? Not some air head who has her head in the clouds all the time."
"But don't you want to marry me? I can fly us BOTH anywhere, not just myself. Besides, I won't track dirt in the house like SHE would, if she'd even let you live in a house- she'd probably want to live in the forest somewhere. I'm also the more powerful summon," said Genie. She bent down, tickling Glenn's chin with long, slender fingers and fingers. Glenn winced, trying to move away from the unwanted touch. "Don't you want me, Glenn?"
"He wants ME!"
"Ignore her," said Genie, taking on one of those seductive pouts that women use whenever they want something. "Think about how beautiful OUR children would be in comparison to the children you'd have with that bimbo. Take a gander at my hips. Imagine how well I would carry them! And I don't mind carrying them, either! I'll have as many of our children as you'd like!"
Help me. . . Glenn mentally pleaded once more. Anyone. . . HELP ME!!!!
"There must be SOME way to decide who's better suited for him," said Sonja, who tapped her foot on the ground as she flapped her wings as she thought. "We both have our good qualities, don't we? I'm mean, the two of us are good looking, intelligent summons, aren't we? There MUST be a way to decide who is worthy of Glenn's heart!"
"Well," said Genie, "you are correct. We are damn good, aren't we?"
"Yes, just in different areas. I beat you in some areas, and you beat me in others," said Sonja.
"So what's something we can FAIRLY try our hands at?" asked Genie.
"I don't know," said Sonja, strutting her hips as she began to pace. She looked at Glenn, sending him a wink. The Dragoon in question shrunk back as far as he could. Sonja giggled. "Oh. . . Glenny is just so cute when he's afraid, don't you think?" She squealed and dove to the ground, kneeling before him with a huge grin on her face. "He's just to DIE for!"
Genie joined her fellow summon on the ground. "Ah, how true, how true. . ."
Glenn glared at both of them, mumbling some sort of a protest behind his gag.
"What now?" asked Sonja.
"Let's play dress up!"
"What?"
"Oh, come on now, if one of us is going to marry him we need to decide what he's going to wear, shouldn't we?" asked Genie. Sonja nodded, suddenly in love with the idea of forcing Glenn in the many different outfits they could come up with together. She had a dozen ideas already!
Glenn whimpered. He was DOOMED.
Genie pointed a finger at Glenn and he suddenly found himself in an upright position. "All right, now that he isn't slouching, let's do some experiments with some outfits." Genie patted Sonja on the back, pushing the wood sprite forward towards their captive. "I'll let you go first."
Sonja cheered, jumping up and down as she clapped. She looked at Glenn with a wide grin on her face, her hands clasped. "All right, Glenny-pie, let's see how good you'll look in a nice forest friendly outfit!" Twirling a finger around in the air (effectively collecting lots of green magic energy in the process) and then pointing it at Glenn, she cast a spell.
FLASH!
Glenn suddenly found himself wearing an outfit that would have made him fit in almost perfectly with the local PreHysterias. The only piece of clothing that adorned his entire body (aside from a pair of boots) was a green loin-cloth made from leaves. Sonja giggled and made a swooning sound.
"Look at him, Genie! It fits him PERFECTLY, doesn't it?" she said.
Norris, Starky, if either of you show up here, SHOOT ME NOW!
Genie shrugged indifferently. "Eh. . . not bad. My turn."
FLASH!
Glenn breathed a slight sigh of relief- at least he was wearing pants this time. He wasn't overly crazy about the green shoes with the curled toes, but the pants were a plus. They were a dark green in color with a gold, jewel encrusted belt woven into the fabric, effectively showing off the result of many years spent welding a sword.
Sonja shook her head. "Eh, no."
FLASH!
Now Glenn was wearing a toga-like outfit with sandals and a vine wrapped around his waist. He felt something on his head, and, apon shaking it, saw the end of one of those u-shaped leaf crowns. The Dragoon rolled his eyes. Would this inhuman torture never end?
"Uh-uh."
FLASH!
An over-sized turban fell over Glenn's eyes. After thrashing his head about with a bit of vigor, he was able to toss it off. He didn't want to take his eyes off those summons. Looking down once again, he saw he was still wearing somewhat baggy pants, but this time a shirt and a jacket went with it, and the pointy shoes were gold.
FLASH!
Glenn tried to scream. He was dressed like a flippin' fairy, tights and all!
FLASH!
Now he looked was wearing baggy pants with a green vest and a fez.
FLASH!
Tunic, tights, a cape and a little pointy hat with a red feather.
FLASH!
A long, night-shirt like dress and another fez.
"I'm thinking this isn't getting us anywhere," Sonja commented. "Well?"
"You're right. . . now what?" said Genie. Then, her eyes brightened as she turned to Sonja with a cheerful look in her eyes. "Oh, oh, oh! I got it, I got it, I got it!!!" Sonja looked at her companion excitedly. Glenn looked at the two summons, wondering if he'd survive if he jumped off the island.
"Where I come from, men have many wives! We could BOTH marry him!" Genie cried excitedly.
"Brilliant!" said Sonja.
Ah. So they have apparently decided I am going to be a bigamist after all. HELP!
"Ooo. . . we should start the wedding preparations soon!" said Sonja. "I'll get the flowers!"
"I'll get the decorations!"
"I'm going to get invitations!"
"Oh! Oh! The cake!"
"I'll find Greco- he does weddings too, doesn't he?"
"Where do we have the wedding?"
"Why not right here?"
"Ooo! Good idea!"
I am doomed! Glenn thought miserably.
~
"Why are we here again?" Leena asked. "There's nothing here, is there?"
"Well. . . maybe we can find some extra Denadorite here," said Serge brightly. He had taken himself, Karsh, and Leena to Gaia's Navel in Another World in hopes of finding useful treasures just waiting to be taken. And, aside from a few monsters, there wasn't anything getting in the way.
Karsh stopped, holding up a hand. Serge and Leena turned to look at the Deva. "I hear something."
"What?"
"It sounds like. . . a wedding ceremony?" Karsh asked.
"Here? On Gaia's Navel?" asked Leena. She closed her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing. "He's right. There's someone else here and it sounds like a wedding ceremony all right. But who would want to have a wedding ceremony all the way out here? For that matter, who'd WANT a ceremony out here?"
Serge lowered his swallow, then sighed heavily. "I do. Leena, give me a few Earthquakes."
"Why?" asked Leena, giving Serge the said elements.
"I need to chase off Sonja and Genie before they're both Mrs. Glenn. . . er. . . whatever his last name," said Serge. He turned to his comrades. "Wait right here. I'll be back in a few minutes. Karsh, get an Antidote ready- Glenn's going to have the worst case of Afraid we've seen yet."
Leena and Karsh slowly looked at each other as Serge walked off. Both the saucepan welding Arni village girl and the ax welding Acacia Dragoon Deva both had the exact same thought on their mind as Serge disappeared from view. What the hell is he talking about?
Before either could act on the thought, there was a resounding rumble, two feminine screams, and the sound of Serge threatening to have one of the Yellow members using ThundaSnake and Golem. Two figures shot into the air and disappeared into a big green portal that looked a little like a BlackHole. Now, very curious, Karsh and Leena ran towards where Serge had gone off to.
Apon emerging into the clearing, they saw Serge consoling a sobbing Glenn and a man in a turban sitting on a flying carpet, barking something in fast strings of Arabic. The strange flying man soon disappeared and, sensing their friend was in serious distraught, Leena and Karsh jogged over to Serge and Glenn.
"It was awful!" Glenn cried. "They tied me up and flew me from Termina to this place and wanted to play dress up with me and then they brought that man here to marry me to BOTH of them against my will and- OH IT WAS AWFUL!" Serge caught the Dragoon as a new wave of hysterics caused him to collapse.
Karsh raised an eyebrow. "Do I REALLY want to know what happened?"
"Sonja and Genie has this little. . . crush, I guess, on Glenn," said Serge.
"Oh, poor Glenn!" said Leena. She gave him an Antidote, which he thankfully took. Glenn smiled at Leena, just knowing that everything was going to be okay. Serge, Leena, and Karsh were here now and he would be able to go home without so much as a word from the two summons.
Unfortunately, Karsh had others ideas.
"SONJA!!! GENIE!!! C'MON, I'M ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT MANLY DEVA GOODNESS! COME AND GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT! YOU CAN MARRY ME! FORGET ABOUT GLENN! HE'S JUST A LITTLE BOY! I'M A REAL MAN! C'MON! I'M ALL YOURS, LADIES!!!"
Serge, Glenn, and Leena all exchanged a look.
"Should we leave him?"
"Sure. We can come get him in the morning."