A Whole Lot of Trouble With Summons

-or-

KID'S REVENGE!!!

By Dixxy

After convincing Korcha to play a game of Hide-and-Go-Seek with her, Kid took off without even bothering to look for the aforementioned Chicken Hawk. What she REALLY wanted to do was find out why she'd been brought to Guldove and who had brought her there. Somehow she really didn't think it was Schala or the Astral Amulet, and it seemed highly unlikely that she'd done it herself.

Question was, who did it?

"So. . . are you married yet?"

Kid stopped in her tracks and looked up and down the wooden bridges that made Guldove's streets. Her eyes finally settled on a familiar, yet strange, sight. There, sitting on one of the railings, was the bright-eyed, happy being known to most as Sonja. The Green summon looked at her anxiously, wings beating softly behind her. "Sonja?" Kid asked. "What are you doing here in Guldove?"

"Why, helping you!" said Sonja, standing up and putting an arm around Kid's shoulder. She sighed happily as she began to walk the Radical Dreamer down the streets of the floating city. "And myself, but that's beside the point- oh, I just LOVE weddings! You're going to make such an ADORABLE bride!!!"

"Married!?" Kid asked. "Where did ya get an idea like THAT!?"
"YOU'RE not going to get Kid married- I AM!!!" Kid turned her gaze again to see a very irritated looking Genie floating over to her and the other summon. Sonja growled back, flapping her wings irately at the other summon. "Once Kid and Korcha are married then he's MINE!!!"

"No, I'M going to get them married- he's MINE!!!"

"MINE!!!"

"MINE!!!"

"MINE, MINE, MINE!!!"

"MINE TIMES A MILLION!!!"

"MINE TIMES INFINTY!!!"

"MINE TIMES INFINTY TIMES INFINITY!!!"

"MINE TIMES-"

"QUIET!!!!!"

Sonja and Genie stopped their argument to turn to the now very pissed off Kid, who was breathing heavily and looked a bit frazzled. "WHO is yours and WHY do you want me to marry that INCOMPETANT, IGNORANT, AND ARROGANT CHICKEN HAWK!?" she screeched.

Genie cleared her throat. "Well, you see, Glenn told us that whichever of us could get you to marry Korcha would get to marry him! It's a competition to win his hand! So now I'm going to bring you back to Korcha so I can get married myself! You can be my matron of honor, Kid!"

"No, I'M going to marry Glenn, not YOU, you-" Sonja started in retort.

"So Glenn sent you?" said Kid. The two summons nodded, then went back to arguing, eventually getting into a clothes-tearing, hair ripping cat fight that lured some of the male citizens of Guldove out of their homes to watch. Kid leaned up one of the residential towers to think about what the two Green summons had told her. Since both of them could fly it was no obvious how she had arrived in Guldove, and her next task was obvious.

First, she was going to tell Sonja and Genie she wasn't going to marry Korcha.

Then she was going to put Glenn in the Guldove infirmary.

If he was lucky.

~

"Are you sure you don't want breakfast?"
"I'm sure, Leena," Glenn said, sitting on Leena's bed. "Thanks again."

"Your welcome- just don't let my mom find out," she said. She placed a careful hand on the side of his face and smiled. "No matter how much of a gentleman you were last night, what with sleeping on the floor, I don't think she's going to be in love with the idea of you spending the night in my room. Unless of course we were to get married, in which case she'd encourage the practice and THEN some."

"Anxious for grandchildren?" he joked.

"Not NOW she isn't- I'm her oldest and I'm just sixteen- but I can promise you the minute I do get married she's going to start thinking about that quite a bit and I'm sure my husband and I will know it," Leena said. She cracked a grin and started to play with the long lavender hair ribbon that hung from her boyfriend's hair. "Maybe it'll be you. Who knows what the future holds? FATE doesn't control us anymore- we can do whatever the hell we want."

Glenn kissed Leena's forehead and winked. "Maybe," he said, ruffling his fingers through her hair. "But I don't think I'll live to see the altar if your mother catches me in here with you like this- I gotta go, babe." Giving her one final good-bye kiss, Glenn was out the window and on his way out of Arni.

Considering Arni's economic situation, most of the people were up fairly early (Serge, however, was not "most of the people" and according to most of the people he knew in Arni he had a tendency to sleep in). This meant that questions would be raised if people saw a young Dragoon exiting Leena's house. That is exactly what he chose to jump out the window, dash through the backyard, jump the fence, and take the long way out through the bushes.

Before long, he had made it back to the main road without much trouble. From there, it was onto Fossil Valley, then to Termina, and back to his cabin, where he knew there was something very important he had to do. Glenn paused, tapping his head and his foot as he tried to remember what it was.

Stupid memory- I can never remember anything! Dario wouldn't have-

A thousand alarms went off in Glenn's head. "By the Ancient Dragonians! Dario! I left him, Karsh, and Norris in the back shed! They're gonna KILL ME for leaving them there all night!" Quickly, Glenn began to run towards Termina, all the while praying that his brother and friends were all right, the underlying thought that he was going to die never really leaving him alone.

Unfortunately, there was a rather large road block waiting for him at the entrance of Fossil Valley. Apon seeing it, Glenn (literally) skidded to a halt, stopping just a few feet away from the monstrous thing standing in his way. The color drained from his face, as he knew exactly what it was.

Salamander.

And sitting on Salamander's shoulder was Kid.

Every swear word Glenn knew began to circulate through his head. Many of these words had earned Glenn a spanking when he was younger. Many of these words he would dare not say in front of a woman. Many of these were words that this author would never use in any circumstances, especially not in a PG-13 fanfic.

She knows.

I'm screwed.

"Hello, Glenn," Kid said rather coolly. "How are you thing morning?"

The calmness in Kid's voice was unsettling. Of course the fact she was sitting on the shoulder of a giant, fire-breathing lizard that was flicking its tongue at him didn't help very much. Glenn gulped. "I'm. . . doing all right, I suppose. Er. . . how are you doing, Kid? Did I mention you look absolutely lovely this morning?"

"Oh, considering I spent most of last night running away from Chicken Hawk, I'd say I'm doing just great," Kid said with a smile on her face. Kid had moved from a eerie calm to her normal, friendly, yet slightly un-ladylike disposition, which was even more frightening than the calm Kid. "But you know what would make me feel even better, Glenn?"

Glenn chose not to say anything- rather he stood shaking in his boots.

"KICKING YER ARSE SO HARD YOU'LL KISS THE MOONS!!!"

It was here that Glenn screamed and began to run around in circles as he tried to avoid the streams of fire the Red summon was shooting at him, all the while listening to Kid's insane laughter. Suddenly turning Sonja and Genie on Kid didn't seem like such a bright idea. He'd thought the Radical Dreamer would be understanding about the whole situation, but apparently that was not the case, unless Kid's idea of understanding was attacking someone with a giant fire-breathing lizard.

I have to do something before I'm a Shiny Ember!

Eventually Glenn was able to seek shelter in a small, dug-out cavern near the entrance of Fossil Valley. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving up and down with every breath he took. He poked his head outside once, to see that Kid and Salamander had somehow missed his escape into the cave. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head up against the back wall. For now, he could rest and try to think up a plan.

For once, I almost wish Sonja and Genie were here! They wouldn't think twice about protecting me! Of course they'd also expect I'd be so grateful to them that I'd marry them, but. . . oh, what I am going to do!? Glenn thought miserably. He bit his bottom lip as he wracked his brain for a plan. Just a simple, simple plan to get himself out of this one.

"Grr. . ."

Glenn looked over towards the mouth of the cavern and winced. Kid had decided to enlist the aide of not only Salamander, but also that of Red Wolf. And now the wolf summon had sniffed him out. Glenn let out a scream and bulleted out of the cave, just barely missing Red Wolf's snapping jaws as he began to run again, this time with the fire-breathing wolf hot (no pun intended) on his tail.

"THERE HE IS! GWT'EM!"

FWASH!

Another huge burst of fireball erupted from Salamander's mouth. Red Wolf was barking and yapping as it hoped around the flames, all the while trying to catch Glenn, who was miraculously able to stay one step ahead of the two summons. Or at least one step ahead of Red Wolf- Salamander wasn't always in the position to go very far because of the fact he was kind-of stuck in the ground wherever he went. None the less, one thought rang through Glenn's mind in a constant accord.

I'M GONNA DIE!!!

~

"You know. . . I don't think that Kid and Korcha are going to get married," Sonja observed. She and the other summon were on Gaia's Navel having tea and cookies as they watched some of the local monsters duke it out- the PreHysterias were attempting to hunt a Pterodactyl but weren't having very much luck.

Genie nodded, sipping her tea. She grabbed a cookie, which was in the shape of Glenn's head, and took a bite. The summon chewed thoughtfully, pondering what he friend and fellow Glenn-worshipper had said. "This is a truly impossible task- should we ask Glenn for another task?" she asked.

Sonja nodded, jumping to her feet and flapping her wings excitedly. "Yeah!!!" she said. "This task is a bit impossible- I think Kid doesn't even LIKE Korcha, unless Chicken Hawk is an affectionate pet name her in El Nido, but somehow I doubt that. So let's go see Glenn!"

The two summons nodded at each other and flew off in search of their obsession.

~

Glenn whimpered- Kid, Salamander, and Red Wolf had finally cornered him. He was trapped between a very large rock wall in Fossil Valley and three very dangerous beings of the Red innate. Red Wolf was growling dangerously, Salamander was breathing tufts of smoke out of its nostrils, and Kid had a dangerous look in her eyes. Glenn was on his knees, his hands clasped as he tried to think of a really good plea for mercy.

"Say yer prayers, Glenn. . . not that it'll do ya any good!" Kid said. "Salamander!"

Salamander made a strange growling sound in response.

"Ready?"

"RARGH!"

"Aim?"

"RARGH!"

"F-"

"There you are!"

"Hi Sally!!!"

Everyone paused to see two very energetic Green summons were flying down from the sky, landing next to Glenn. The Dragoon gulped- he wasn't sure which was worse- death by Kid or marriage by summons. Neither option seemed very appealing to him, and he winced in response.

"What're you two doin' here?" Kid asked.

"We figured out that since you obviously don't want to marry Korcha at all, we're going to ask Glenn for another task!" said Sonja. She grabbed his left arm and put her face in his and began to bounce up and down in excitement. "Give me one I can do! Something Genie can't do!"

"C'mon, Sonja, let's be fair about this!" said Genie, grabbing Glenn's other arm. "For now, let's all head back to Gaia's Navel and discuss this further!" The Dragoon's eyes widened in fear as he realized what this meant. He screamed and immediately began to try and escape as the summons prepared to fly off with him in tow.

Kid, seeing that this would be just as painful for Glenn, only smiled and waved cheerfully. "See you lasses, soon! Don't be too gentle with him, now- he's a tough guy, you know!" she called. "Bye Glenn! Hope this'll teach you not to piss me off! Have fun! I'll send someone to pick you up in a few weeks!"

"HEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!"

Once they were out of sight, Kid turned to her summons. "So. . . what do you guys want to do now? Nikki and Miki are in town with the other Magical Dreamers- how much do you think it costs to buy tickets for one daughter-clone, a fire-breathing wolf, and a giant fire-breathing lizard?"

Red Wolf wagged its tail and let its tongue loll out of its mouth.

Salamander scratched at the ground idly.

Kid sighed, seeing that she would get no response from the non-humanoid summons. Then, she smiled and giggled playfully. "Well, they'd probably have a bloody hard time kicking us out even if we didn't have tickets because of Sal's size. . . let's go anyways! C'mon! It'll be fun!"

~

". . . hello? Is anybody out there? We've been stuck in here for three days now and we're starting to run out of food. Could someone please unlock this door and get us out of here? Please? We'll do anything you want us to- PLEASE! LET US OUT OF HERE! IT'S DARK AND CRAMPED AND STUFFY IN HERE! I WANT OUT! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY IN DAYS! HAVE MERCY! SOMEONE! PLEASE! LET US OUT OF HERE! GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!!!"

"Norris! Get a hold of yourself! This is no time to panic!"

"I WANT OUT OF THIS DAMN SHED RIGHT NOW!!!"

"Dar, do you think it's time to hit him over the head again?"

"Without a doubt. Okay, Norris, time for your nap. . ."

~

And the moral of this story is. . . hmm, that's a real good question.

~

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this latest installment of The Trouble with Summons. This time it wasn't Sonja and Genie who caused so much trouble, but rather Salamander and Red Wolf.

As for Sonja and Genie not being upset over the whole Kid-Korcha trick, well, they're a wee bit too obsessive over Glenn to really notice- anyone desperate enough to do half of what they summons have done is pretty darn obsessed.

Just out of curiosity. . . anyone think I should do any SERIOUS Glenn/Sonja or Glenn/Genie stories? I'm actually considering it. For that matter, how long should we leave Dario, Karsh, and Norris in the shed?

Read and review Thick as Thieves if you haven't already- the ransom hasn't been paid yet!

~Dixxy