A Crapload of Trouble with Summons

By Dixxy

-OR-

Sonja and Genie Get a Taste of Their Own Medicine

Note: This chapter was inspired by Viperwolf. Thanks, Viperwolf!

"I think your mother hates me."

"No she doesn't!"

"Then why did I have to sneak in through the window to see you?"
Leena sighed at Glenn, who was sitting on the foot of her bed. "I don't know. You'd think she'd want me to be seeing someone with connections to high places, don't you?" Glenn nodded in agreement, inching closer to her to wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her nose. "So. . . what's the current deal with the summons?"

"Well, the last time they tried to take me to Gaia's Navel I lucked out and they dropped me into the ocean," he said. Leena gasped, but Glenn shrugged. "I'm okay- I got picked up by Korcha. We made a stop at Water Dragon Isle for a few days and then he dropped me off here. Still, no Sonja and Genie. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"Maybe they're trying to find you in the ocean," Leena said thoughtfully.

Glenn shrugged. "Well, as long as they're out of my hair I'm fine."

Leena rested her head on Glenn's shoulder. "How do you feel about us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we could. . . well. . . I don't know. . . end up getting married or something?" she asked, looking at Glenn lovingly. She began to trace circles on his lap, snuggling up closer to him. "We could always elope somewhere. . . we could stay away for a few weeks and then come back to tell everyone the good news." Leena's eyes widened dreamily. "And we could move into a tiny little cottage in the country so the children could play in the yard."

Glenn's face paled. "Um. . . Leena?"

Leena wasn't listening. "And our first grandchildren would look just like-"

"Leena?"
"- and we'll die in each other's arms of old age and-"

"Lee-na!"

"-and our graves will be on a little knoll of grass-"

"LEE-NA!!!"

"What?"

"WHO'S THERE!? LEENA! IF IT'S THAT HORNY LITTLE DRAGOON I'LL-"
Glenn swore under his breath. "Looks like I need to vacate the premises before she makes you test out your tech skills again," he said, quickly aligning himself with the window. Leena shook her head, scurrying over to him and grabbing his arm. "What? I gotta go before your mother kills me!" Glenn noticed the pleading look in Leena's eyes and smiled briefly. "Oh, I get it." He gave her a kiss on the cheek then began to unhitch the window.

"No! Take me with you!"

A thousand alarms and bells began to go off in Glenn's head as his cheeks turned as red as Harle's outfit. SHE WANTS ME TO WHAT!? "Wh-wha-what did you just say!?" he asked. "I can't- I mean it's not right- I mean what are you talking about- but what if- and what it- but- we can't- and- but- and what if- oh, I give up. Are you wearing shoes? Because I'm not dealing with complaining about sore feet if we go through the valley."

~

"He's with that Blue innate girl again! WHY!?" Sonja asked. The two Green summons were spying- er, eavesdropping- er, checking up on their favorite Dragoon in shinning armor as he and Leena made their way through Fossil Valley towards Termina (though what they planned to do once they got to Termina was not something the summons knew). They were sitting on a high cliff, plotting their next tactic to try and win Glenn's heart.

That is. . . until HE showed up.

First off, the Jaws theme song began to play out of no where. Sonja and Genie looked around in confusion, wondering who in their right mind was playing the Jaws theme song at that hour of the night in Fossil Valley. Even more so, they were wondering why they knew it was the Jaws theme song since they don't have movie theaters in El Nido, much less horror movies like Jaws.

Dun, dun.

Dun, dun.

Dun dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-

Second, they heard an odd plodding sound in the background. Plod, plod, plod, plod. It sounded wet, and it sounded like it might have been squishy as well. Plod, plod, plod, plod. On the sound wet, getting slightly louder and closer as more time passed. Plod, plod, plod, and plod. What was this strange wet sound? Plod, plod, plod, plod. The Green summons were getting nervous now. Plod, plod, plod, plod.

Third, they heard the voice.

And they were afraid.

"GIVE ME A *RIBBIT* KISS!"

The two summons turned to see they were facing none other than. . .

"IT'S FROG PRINCE!"

Sure enough, the plump blue frog was hopping from foot to foot before the summons, ribbeting every so often. "Give me a *RIBBIT* kiss my buttercup-love *RIBBIT* puppies! You and *RIBBIT* I are meant for *RIBBIT* each other! Don't you *RIBBIT* see? We could *RIBBIT* be so *RIBBIT* happy together!"

Sonja and Genie both screamed bloody murder, then flew off into the sky.

"WAIT! COME *RIBBIT* BACK!!! I LOVE *RIBBIT* YOU!!!"

"We've got to get out of here!" Sonja said. Her normally neat and tidy bun was coming apart as individual strands fell freely into her face. "We belong to GLENN!!! Not THAT walking wart monger! He's a FROG! Quick, where do we go, Genie? We have to get away!!!"

"I don't know! I'm a summon, not genius!"

"THAT'S NICE BUT IT ISN'T GOING TO HELP US NOW IS IT!?"

Genie scowled. "Sonja, NOT NOW!" They stopped in mid air and looked down at the plodding Blue summon. "Maybe we can wait him out? I mean, he can't possibly stay down there for too long, can he? Who knows, maybe he'll get bored with us and go find something else to do! Maybe he'll harass the mermaid or the bratty little girl! Or maybe even that bartender with the revealing dress!"

"Yeah! We just have to wait him out!" Sonja said enthusiastically.

~

Two hours, twenty-three minutes, and forty-seven seconds later. . .

~

"Genie?"
"I know, Sonja, I know- he's STILL down there."

Sonja grumbled. "Can't we just attack him?"
"No- then Blue Whale would get mad at us," said Genie. "We need to outsmart the damn amphibious- hey, he left!" The summons paused, looked down, and saw that- indeed- Frog Prince had left. The two summons squealed and giggled in delight, hugging each other in happiness. Deciding that they were too tired to stay aloft much longer, they flew down to the ground to take a rest.

"I *RIBBIT* LOVE YOU!!!"

The summons screamed. "OH NO! HE WAS JUST WAITING US OUT UNTIL WE GOT TOO TIRED TO KEEP FLYING!!!" Sonja concluded. Then, seeing as their legs weren't tired, they began to run for their lives as they screamed their heads off, zigzagging their way through Fossil Valley with their arms in the air and they mouths so wide you could see their uvulas.

Frog Prince just happily plodded along.

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

And on the chase went through Fossil Valley.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

~

Eventually, the summons ran into the Shadow Forest. They stopped briefly, catching their breath against a tree. A few Bulbs stopped prancing about the forest briefly to look at the strange people in their forest, then, deciding they really didn't care today, went back to their prancing.

"Well, maybe he won't follow us here," Sonja tried to reason.

"What are the chances on that!?" Genie asked. "He's as desperate for us as we are for Glenn!"

Sonja's eyes widened in terror. "We're doomed."

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

The summons froze. He was coming!

Sonja and Genie ran full force into the woods, their arms flailing about as they continued to scream bloody murder. Frog Prince only plodded along, much like he has been doing for the past several paragraphs of this fanfic because the authoress can't come up with a plot device. Damn plot devices. Damn them all!

Ah, but look! Look there! Do you see what I see? Yes! Yes! It's Pip, hoping through the forest! Yes! There's Pip! We can use Pip to our advantage! Heck, we can take advantage of him and use him as our plot device! Will he live? Maybe. We'll see what happens.

So Pip was hoping through the forest n his quest to "see de wowld". Currently, however, he was finding the Shadow Forest kind of boring. He'd been there with Serge before and he'd explored it several times on his own before. He needed something ELSE to do. But what could he do?

Just then, he saw two women run past him screaming their heads off. Pip blinked, unsure what was going on. Being the curious little mutating squirrel he was, Pip began to hop after them. Maybe they were trying to see the world, too! "Wait fo me!" Pip said, flapping his wings as he tried to catch up to them.

So now we have Sonja and Genie running through the woods with Pip trying to catch up to them and Frog Prince chasing the summons through the Shadow Forest. Wait, is the author forgetting something? Oh, right, of course, how could she forget? This IS a Frog Prince chase scene, after all.

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

All through the forest they went, each trying to keep away from their pursuer or catch up to those they were chasing (though admittedly Pip had no clue what was going on). Eventually, the Sonja and Genie turned into the big tree that led to the Viper Manor Sewer system in attempts of escape.

Through the slosh they all went, Sonja and Genie not caring how wet they were getting. Pip hoped along the rocks to keep from getting wet while the Frog Prince calmly floated along. The Green summons looked back, and while they had no idea where Pip came from, they saw the other summon and began to run faster until they reached the well. Not wasting a second, they went up the ladder. Pip flew up after them, and when he reached the ladder, the Frog Prince simply jumped out.

And the group tore through the front yard of Viper Manor, much to the bewilderment of the new night watch Viper had set up. He kind of had to fire the last night watch because Serge and his friends had gotten in, and even though Serge was his friend now he hadn't been at the time. But that's irrelevant. We care that Sonja and Genie led the increasingly strange group through the front gates and back towards Termina.

~

"I don't get it," Glenn said as he closed the door on his cabin once he and Leena were inside. "You'd think that by now they'd have found me. Even though I fell in the ocean they should have seen Korcha pick me. And, come to think of it, I thought I saw something funny when I was with Korcha, but-"

Leena sighed, resting her head on Glenn's head. "Relax, Glenn, I'm sure they're fine and I'm sure they won't be bothering you for quite a while. Trust me, they'll probably find something else to keep them occupied. For now it's just you and me, right? Now why don't you let your brother and his friends go before they all loose their minds in that shed out back." she said, fingering the noticeably empty Frog Prince summon crystal.

Well, maybe if they know what it's like to be mercilessly pursued by a love-struck summon they'll leave Glenn alone, Leena thought. I'll get him back into his summon crystal before something bad happens to them. I don't want to HURT Sonja or Genie- I just want them to learn a lesson.

But then. . .

"AHHH!!!"

"GLENN, SAVE US!!!"

"WAIT FOW ME!!!"

"I *RIBBIT* LOVE YOU!!!"

Leena screamed as the summons, Pip, and Frog Prince suddenly crashed through Glenn's front door- well, at least the large gaping hole where his front door USED to be- and began to run around the room in a mad panic. Leena began to scream bloody at the chaos that had just ensued in the small space.

Glenn, who had just unlocked the shed and was now staring oddly at Norris, who was kissing the ground, looked up at the sound of chaos coming from the cabin he called his home. Dario and Karsh were staring in disbelief. Even Norris looked up, blinked, and spit out the grass in his mouth.

"Uh. . ." Karsh said.

Glenn shook his head. "I'm not going in there."

He didn't have to. All three summons, Leena, and Pip came careening out of the cabin. Glenn screamed as Sonja and Genie hid behind him as the Frog Prince plodded in front of him, still declaring his love for the Green summons. Pip calmly bounced over to Sonja and Genie, gently tugged on Genie's pant leg, and calmly asked what they were doing. Leena was visibly shaken as he clutched Glenn's arm and began to cry into his shoulder.

Glenn sighed heavily, lowered his head, and wondered something. Why me?

~

I'd say this is probably the most out of character edition of this series.

Two things: I still need reviews for Thick as Thieves (two to be exact- I left a review to get back to Alba and Tha Kid reviewed twice) so once it reaches the magical number of 20 the next chapter will be posted. AND IT IS DONE. I now have a Chrono Cross fanfiction archive. And I need fanfics to archive there. The URL is in my profile (click on "Scars of Time" when the page loads). The site also has a links section and some areas for character and plot analysis. I eventually want to get a free-discussion message board as well so people can get into arguments ("White!" "Blonde!" "White!" "Blonde!" "PINK!!!").