Author's note:  Oooh…am I the only one who sees a future fight between Joatha and Rikku over Trau? I hope not, otherwise I didn't exactly do a good job on the last chapter…anyways, onwards to the next!

Chapter 9 – Animosity

            I sat staring at the mesmerizing motions of the fire as I pondered the events of the last few days. I was surprised that no one really minded that I had been suicidal. I guess they understood that at that moment it had seemed the only release, the only way out. I knew now that it was the worst decision one could make, and I thanked God that Joatha had at least given me time to think about it. I knew there was water at the bottom of the cliff, and that just by jumping in, I wouldn't die, but after I had thought about why Joatha had wanted me to stay alive, I thought about the reasons that I needed to be alive. I thought about someone else other than myself for once, and realized how important I was to myself most of all, and then I knew that I mattered to others, too. I decided to stop thinking about it, because it was behind me now, and nothing more could be done except slap myself in the face over and over. The only thing that worried me now was that Joatha wasn't speaking to me for some strange reason. A reason that I needed to know. So I decided that I would ask Yuna. Something inside me told me that she would know what was going on. Yuna always did.

            I got up, and walked silently to the entrance to her tent. Kimahri was standing there, guarding her like he usually did.

"Hey Kimahri, is Yuna awake?" I asked him.

"Yuna awake. Kimahri get Yuna." he said as he disappeared into her tent. I wondered if he had ever heard the words 'proper" and "grammar" used in the same breath. "At least he keeps a cool head all the time, unlike some other unmentioned people on this pilgrimage." I thought. Kimahri came back out with Yuna in tow, and I led Yuna away from the campsite. Kimahri started to follow, but Yuna waved him off with a look on her face that told him that this was a private matter. After we had gone far enough from everyone else as not to be eavesdropped, I put a hand on Yuna's shoulder, looked her straight in the eye, and asked,

"Yuna, do you know why Joatha isn't talking to me? I really need to know, because it's bothering me a lot."

"She loves you." Yuna said with a blushing smile.

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"She loves you!" Yuna said, like a first-grader who was telling about a crush.

"Okay, but how does that explain why she is ignoring me?" I said, trying to be serious, but I couldn't hide the smile that was creeping across my face. Suddenly we both burst out into laughter.

"I think she's jealous. She thinks you love…" Yuna stopped, and covered her mouth. "Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Okay, I'll try and sort it out on my own, but thanks, Yuna." I said, regaining my serious mien.

"Don't mention it." Yuna replied. "Literally, don't mention it. Don't tell Jo that I said anything to you."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing."

            I started to walk away, but Yuna stopped me before I could get out of earshot.

"Wait, one question before you go. Who do you love?"

"Myself." I said, wrapping my arms around myself and avoiding the question.

            Yuna laughed, and we both went our own ways back to the camp. I decided to confront Joatha about it face-to-face so I passed my own tent and stopped at the entrance to hers. I called out her name. There was no answer, so I called again. When I heard no response, I opened the flap and peeked in. She was gone.

When Rikku, Wakka, and Lulu came back from the trading post, I ran to them frantically.

Where is she?" I yelled.

"Where is who?" Lulu asked.

"Where is she?" I screamed insanely, grabbing onto Wakka's necklace and pulling his face close to mine. My crazed eyes bored into his mind like an oil drill. He closed his eyelids and turned away, obviously disturbed by my glare. Lulu grabbed the back of my cloak and ripped me off of Wakka, threw me on the ground, and raised her hand to point it at my face. I focused all my concentration, and time slowed to a snail's crawl. I rolled off of the ground, leaped up, and locked Wakka's neck with my arms. I let my energy slide away, and time resumed its natural course. Lulu looked around on the ground, astonished at my disappearance.

"Try and cast now, Lu. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I want to know where she is." I said from behind Wakka, who was doing his best to wrench my arm from around his neck. I just released him of my own accord after Lulu realized that I hadn't gone on an insane killing spree after all.

"Sorry Wakka, had to be done." I told Wakka.

"I understand, ya? I know how Lu is sometimes." Wakka said with a laugh.

            Lulu could only glare at him with her crimson eyes, and he looked like he would regret saying that later on.

"Okay, now that you've calmed down, who's missing?" Lulu said.

"I can't find Jo. I need to talk to her, and she's not here. Please tell me you've seen her." I pleaded.

"Nah, come to think of it, I haven't seen her all day." Wakka said.

"Me neither." Lulu told me.

            I turned desperately to Rikku. She only shook her head slowly. I sighed heavily and lowered my head to stare at me feet. I saw another pair of boots stepping up to me, and I knew the owner was Rikku.

"Jo will turn up soon. I'm sure of it!" she said.

            I looked up at her, and she threw her arms around me and gave me a hug. I lay my head on her shoulder, glad to have someone there to comfort me. It had been incredibly hard to decide between Joatha and Rikku, and that was why I had avoided Yuna's question, but now I knew what I wanted.

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So…now he knows. Now I just have to figure out who it is myself. I mean, it seems obvious, but this is a very dynamic character here. The result might not be the expected one.