S/N- Woooow… the reviewage for the first chapter was beyond awesome! You guys are great! Because of the fabulous number of reviews, I am giving you the second chapter mucho fast. You see how it works?
One more quick thing in response to something I saw on a certain person's profile:
I can so beat Keza in Duck Hunt. There really is no competition there.
Shout Outs! (Ahh, my favorite part)
Polecat- *Cowers* Here! Here's more! Hehe it's all Davey-gravy… I have a huge lack of reviewing skills as well, mine NEVER make sense… Thanks for reviewing!~
Spirit- Hmm… A lot of people liked AssNaked!Mush… Ah, who am I kidding? He's the best part. Yeah, it does fit his character, doesn't it? Glad you like this and how I made your character (hehe)… Thanks mucho for the review!~
Name Twin- No… I do not believe it's possible to love Pie-eater as much as Keza, well, unless you're Polecat, but that's a whole different story. Watatouille? That's French, right? Dude… I had this scary ass dream about my French teacher… Riiiight… anyway what does that word mean? Thanks for the review!~
Omni- Don't hurt yourself!~
Cruncharoo- Yup, you got it so far! And 'that guy' is named Mike Dexter. I don't like him, but I like Jack… hmm… I am now fulfilling my patriotic duty *Star Spangled Banner plays* by updating this story! Charge! And Cruch, darling, it's been eons since I've seen a new chapter of You Think You Know, so be a doll and update that please? *Pats Crunch on the head* There's a good girl. (Yeah… I'm reaaaalllyy tired so you get my strange shoutout of the day!) (Forget the part where I yelled at you for lack of updates cause I wrote this shoutout before you updated. What? Just delete that part? Nahhhh….)~
Falco- YAY for waffles! YAY for naked Mushy! YAY for Sarah dumpage… even though I'm nice to her in this…Nothing's wrong with Misprint… She's a unique spirit (That's one of your lines later in the story!) and… those girls don't like that? I dunno… it just comes with the part… thanks for the waffles and the review!~
PsYcHoJo- Yes, Skitts is a cutie! *Pinches Skittery's cheeks* Thanks for reviewing!~
Mondster- I think you'd be slightly noticeable if you were under Mush's robes… Besides, I'm not THAT generous! (You owe me big by the way for putting you with my one true love! Hehe) Let thee among us without sin be the first to condemn! La Vie Boheme! Thanks for the review!~
Atlantic- *Gift wraps a Skittery AND a Bumlets for Atlantic* Here ya go! Thanks for the review!~
AaronLohrLover24- *Sigh* Yes… a dream come true…. No! Better than that! *Hands you a gift wrapped Mush* He's a clone cause I have the real one (even though Skittles and Mondie don't believe me…) but he's still a Mush! Thanks for the review!~
Cocky- Thanks for the review!~
Gambler- Thanks for the review! Hehe let's all applaud for naked!Mush! *Standing ovation… Mush just smiles and flexes his muscles* (Thanks for the other review too… hope this is up to your standards!)~
Spotted One- Hehe… that's like my review! Thanks!~
You guys are wonderful! I love you all!
Final Chance
"It's fate, that's the only explanation!" Skittery declared as he and Misprint went to drop off their robes and tassels.
"Its high school, Skitts, people break up all the time. Besides, did you forget that you're leaving tomorrow? How is it fate if you're not even going to be around to get her?" Misprint pointed out.
"Well, I have tonight…"
Misprint rolled her eyes, "I can't believe you're going to that party. Why do you want to look back? Never look back!"
"Dude! I fucking graduated!" A dark haired boy shouted running by them…and smack into the table, which collapsed; robes and caps went flying everywhere.
"Well, unless you're that guy," Misprint smirked as the two backed away from the scene.
"Sarah and I have been fated ever since the first day I saw her…" Skittery mused dreamily.
"You've never even said two words to her," Misprint said.
"It was freshman year, her first day at school. It was the first time in history that I was late…" Skittery began.
"Oh no, not this story again…"
"But it meant that I was the first person at Horace Greeley High to set eyes on Sarah Jacobs. I fell in love the minute I saw her. She went into the office and I continued on my way to homeroom, without even introducing myself to her.
"So there I was in homeroom, enjoying a late breakfast of poptarts, when, out of all the homerooms in the school she enters mine. And if that isn't enough, she sits down right next to me and pulls out the exact same breakfast pastry that I was consuming at that very moment. And you don't call that fate." Skittery finished.
"But what happened then, Romeo?"
Skittery's face fell. "Mr. Kloppman asked who would like to show her around school, and the moment before I could say anything, Jack Kelly offered and my chance was gone. But you see, Mis! That's why I have to go to that party tonight! I have to seize the day! Take my chance!"
"Well, tell everyone I'll miss then so much." Misprint commented sarcastically.
"You mean you're not going?" Skittery said, with a mock lost puppy face.
"Right, as if I want to remember these four years. You have fun though," She patted Skittery on the back.
"Come on, Mis, I'm leaving tomorrow! Do this for me…" He wheedled.
"No."
"Please…" His lower lip trembled slightly.
"I'm not buying that for a second, Skitts!" She gave him a little shove, "Fine I'll go, but only because you're leaving tomorrow."
"You won't regret it," Skittery said triumphantly.
"Somehow I doubt that…" Misprint muttered. "I can't believe I'm going to that party."
"I can't believe he broke up with her!"
~~~
"I can't believe you broke up with her, man," Mush said through a mouthful of fries.
"Well, it's like I always say," Jack paused for dramatic affect, then let out an earth shaking belch, the four boys sitting at the table all laughed and high fived.
"But Sarah, she's hot!" Bumlets said with a low whistle.
"She's a high school girl," Jack said nonchalantly, "We're in college now, guys, and do you know what they have in college?"
"Uh, girls that used to be in high school?" Kid Blink guessed.
"No!" Jack slammed a fist down on the table. "Women! College women!"
"Women…" Blink repeated with a thoughtful glance at the group of 'women' entering the restaurant.
"Women. That's what I'll be getting this summer; no lame ass girlfriend hanging all over me."
"Hey," Mush waved a French fry around as he spoke. "Maybe we should dump our girlfriends too!"
"That would be sweet," Jack said
"Me and Blizz- we're over!" Bumlets decided.
"Girlfriends suck, they suck!" Blink shouted.
"That's what I'm saying!" Jack encouraged him.
"Midget sucks!" Blink continued.
"Mondie, Kiss my ASS!" Mush stood up and yelled.
"Yeah!" Jack clapped Mush on the back. "You guys can do it tonight at that party."
The four tossed a few bills down on the table and left the restaurant.
"Jack Kelly's a God!" Mush declared when they got to the parking lot. "Jack Kelly's role model!"
~~~
"Jack Kelly is an asshole." Crutchy proclaimed. "For years he has made my life a living hell. Witness exhibit A, my eighth grade history project. It took me months to write and print this newspaper, but alas, my hard work was all wasted when Jack Kelly mercilessly ripped it up." He placed the scraps of paper gently down on the desk, "No one's going to be carrying this banner anytime soon.
"Exhibit B" He gestured sadly to his crutch. "The crutch I will forever have to walk with thanks to Jack pinning me in P.E. sophomore year. I will never play golf again.
"And finally, Exhibit C" Crutchy held up a Polaroid picture, "How could anyone ever forget the incident with Snyder and the sauerkraut? I still have nightmares about it every night.
"But tonight will be different! Tonight Jack Kelly will know humiliation! Tonight is the night we strike back! Tonight, is our independence night!" He finished dramatically, pumping a fist up in the air.
He was met with complete silence, which was hardly the reaction he was hoping for. Angrily he whipped around to find his two best friends and partners in crime, Dutchy and Specs, sitting on the floor playing Duck Hunt. They obviously hadn't heard a word he's said.
"Give me those," Crutchy spat bitterly, yanking the guns away from them. "Now, do you remember what the plan is?"
Both boys looked at Crutchy and shrugged.
"You two are hopeless! Okay, while I am inside you two will be up on the roof waiting," He placed two action figures on the roof of a model house on the table. "Dutchy, you're Joe Pulitzer and Specs, you are William Randolph Hearst."
"Wait," Specs cut him off, "Why does he get to be Pulitzer?"
"Fine, Specs, you're Pulitzer and Dut-"
"No! I want to be Pulitzer!" Dutchy whined.
"You know what? You're both newsies!" Crutchy said exasperated, and then continued. "I will lure Jack outside with one of his jock friends to the pool house, where you will be waiting to jump down and knock them out with the chloroform we mixed in chem. You'll strip them and then take pictures of them in a lurid, naked, embrace." Crutchy finished with a manic laugh.
"Wow, Crutchy," Dutchy said, impressed "You thought of everything!"
"Yeah…" Crutchy said, looking down, slightly red the compliment.
"Do you think there will be girls there?" Dutchy asked, wide eyed behind his glasses, as they three made their way out of the basement.
"People might even be having sex tonight!" Specs answered, as though the thought were foreign.
~~~
"Yo, I gotta have sex tonight!" Racetrack declared to Snitch and Itey, thumbing through an issue of Playboy in the magazine aisle at Rite Aid. "It says here that 92% of the girls at NYU are sexually active, 92%, yo! You know that means? That means I got a 92% chance of embarassin' myself, how many girls you think goin' around sayin' class, or sex? Now what shall I do?" Race let out a short laugh, and shook his head. "92%"
Itey crossed himself, "Rest in peace."
Race put down the magazine and the three boys continued into the aisle, Snitch stuffing various things taken off the shelf into his oversized jacket.
"So who's the lucky bitch?" Itey said, somewhat sarcastically.
"Ya know, I figured all the hunnies from our class gonna be there tonight, and I gots to give 'em all a fair chance of experiencing The Race. But I narrowed in down to ten lucky finalists.
"So how you gonna do this?" Snitch asked shoving a lint roller into his pants.
"You wanna see? You wanna see this?" Race opened the backpack he'd been carrying around. Inside was a Kama Sutra book, various sprays and candles, and at least ten packs of condoms.
"You really gonna need all these?" Snitch snickered, holding up a pack. Race swiped at the condoms, but Itey distracted him by taking a pink candle out of the bag and letting out a loud laugh.
"Our boy's a fag, yo!"
"Who's a fag? That's a fragrance of love scented candle, bitch, damn." Race retorted.
While Race was busy defending his sexuality, Snitch placed the condoms, along with one of the candles, in his rapidly filling pockets.
"So you just gonna walk in there with that bag of love ad some girl's just gonna give it up? I don't think so," Snitch snorted.
"Watch me, dawg." Race zipped up the bag and walked confidently out of the store, leaving his friends smirking.
"That boy ain't got nothin'" Itey said.
"No, he don't," Snitch agreed, as a can of soup dropped loudly from his extremely baggy pants to the floor and rolled to a stop in front of the manager.
~~~
Finally I finished this chapter! Whew!
If anyone knows a song with the name 'Sarah' in it… please tell me!
I'm writing this whole thing from memory of the last time I saw CHW… I used to be very obsessed with this movie…
And finally… PLEASE REVIEW!!! You guys were GREAT about it last chapter, continue your amazing reviewing skills!