~~~
Rem was not a happy demon. Demons were used to pain, havoc, and respect. If they did not get all three, they weren't happy. (AN-Good, demons aren't supposed to be happy!) Not only had it been a while since he'd killed, but he was getting anxious of getting the holders again. He was sure if he didn't, he would be unsuccessful in his quest for universal domination.
"My sweet, is there any updates on your progress?"
"Well...somehow Siri's managed to teach Heero how to dance, but other than that, nothing, sir. Our partner and the mistress have hidden themselves well. But we have narrowed it down to four suspects, so to speak."
"And they are?" he snapped, getting impatient.
"Telex Vega, Duo Maxwell, Quatre Winner, and Releena Peacecraft. We are uncertain whether or not to add Wufei Chang to that list, but he is being watched as well."
"Why are they suspected, Hera?"
"Actions do not compute with the norm of their character."
"Ah. Well done. If any ever come out alone, capture them. We will wait. Patience is one of a demon's most greatest ally, after all."
"Yes, sir," she bowed and was gone.
Rem gave a mind-racking sigh. He had lied to Hera. His patience was wearing thin, and grew thinner with each hour that passed. Running his thin, bony fingers through his red hair, he slumped deeper into his seat.
This was going to be a long day.
***
~~~
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Siri
Happy Birthday to you
I blushed a crimson red as the others finished singing. The eighth of February had come and I hadn't even realized it was my birthday until the others dragged me into the kitchen, where a cake was well-frosted in periwinkle blue. Even Duo and Quatre, who had been so silent lately, had sung.
"Come on, Siri, blow out the candles!" Tari shouted from the end of the table. "Bet you can get them all out!"
"Yeah, make a wish, Siri!" Toraneko beamed at me.
"And hope it comes true!" Raine grinned. Telex smiled brightly and said to me the most peculiar thing.
"I think it will come true, Siri!"
"All right," I nodded defiantly at the cake. "You candles there! Listen up!" I gloated over the cake, false seriousness dripping from me. "Each of you will go out upon my whistle. One...two...three..." I took the deepest of deep breaths and blew every single one of the navy blue candles out, making a silent wish. One that I had realized had become my goal after seeing the Perfect Soldier smile. The others laughed at my antics, even as I completed the wish I made so solemnly within my head.
I wish to be the one to make Heero Yuy laugh.
After that, well...time seemed to slow down, so very, very slow. Never in my life had my birthday been so celebrated, so held together, so...peaceful and full of joy. Previous birthdays for me had always seemed dull, as though it were just another day. Another day, another place to try and be, away from my father.
"Come on, Siri, open the presents!" Telex jumped up and down and up and down, over and over again. It was a mistake to give her cake and ice cream. Sugar was not the best thing to give to her. She'd gone from being a solemn entity to a bouncing five-year-old. (AN-No offense, Telex!)
We all laughed at her antics. All, that is, except Heero. I wished I could make him at least smirk tonight. That ever-present scowl was getting on my nerves.
"All right, all right, everyone, settle down," my mother smiled at us all. I was so glad to have my mother back after all this time. She handed me the first present.
"Siri, don't be disappointed, okay?" Tari said nervously. "We had to make this stuff from things we-"
"Don't worry about it, Tari, I perfectly understand," I gave her a half-grin. "Anything you guys give me is a blessing on my heart." (AN-I wish I could remember to say this to my friends. Makes me sound so wise, eh?) Giving a tug on the Christmas paper (we hadn't anything else), I gave a gasp of surprise and pleasure.
A bracelet. It was so gorgeous, there was no other way to describe it. Somehow, she had shaped stones picked up from the yard into ten trinkets. It was obvious that they represented my closest friends.
They were as follows: An indigo sword (Tari [her full name, Hawatari, means "walking on edge" in Japanese]), a violet kitty (Toraneko [means "tiger cat"), an amber watch (Telex [is gleaned from Rolex [the watch]], but Telex came up with it first!!! She should sue!), a blue raindrop (Raine), a toffee-colored coffee cup with a chocolate brown braid hanging from it (Duo, who else?), a minute dragon (Wufei) (AN-Sources say Wufei means little dragon, but I cannot say for certain), a blue yin-yang (Quatre, though why is beyond me), a green circus mask (Trowa), a silver pendant much like the one around my neck (my mother), and a tiny onyx gun (Heero).
"Oh, Tari...wow...did you really make this yourself?" She giggled, then nodded impishly. I slid the beautiful string onto my left wrist, grinning still, a blush across my cheeks.
Trowa and Duo gave Wufei a nudge forward and he mumbled something inaudible. I made no inquiries, simply watched him, my eyes large and innocent.
"I made this for you," he finally spoke up, his face very heated. "Yuy can teach you how to wield it." He pulled a long, thin package from behind his back. My eyes went extremely wide as I saw what it was.
"A-A katana," I stuttered, tears in my eyes. Never in my life had I been given such a precious gift of skill. The hilt glittered with several blue gems, sapphires, as I was later told. The blade was perfect, made of silvery gundanium alloy from the remains of Wufei's own Nataku. I couldn't have been more proud than to thank the poor boy.
"Use it well," he gave a curt nod, then retreated back into the shadows. I swallowed hard and resheathed the sword, placing it gently on the table.
The others gave me things as well, wonderful things that I'd never have expected. Telex gave me my first pair of pants that weren't blue or black (khakis) that she'd made herself, with a lot of help from Toraneko and Raine, I later found out. They'd all pitched in to make me a complete outfit, Toraneko with a shirt (it said Siri in green paint across the front) and Raine with a jacket. I think the others had learned that I didn't like not wearing jackets, even after all my bruises had faded away.
Duo, though what on God's green earth possessed him to, gave me a leather belt, complete with pockets made for carrying all sorts of weapons, including, but not limited to, knives, swords (I easily placed Wufei's katana in one), guns, and, for some odd reason, a place specially built for Shurin (AN-I don't know the proper spelling on that. Help!) Throwing Stars. On the front was carved a beautiful wolf's head.
The last three were Heero, Quatre, and Releena, who was finally able to get around in a wheelchair. Releena and Quatre, it seemed, had been planning for this far ahead of time and had gotten together to order something from a catalog. They said it would be down soon.
At last, only Perfect Soldier remained. What would he give me? Would he give me anything at all? For some reason, that depressed me far worse than even the prospect of being in my father's "care" for three more years. The others all stared at him expectantly, but I stared at the ground, neither expecting nor anticipating something. He had saved me from my father. That was enough for me.
He smirked at this, though I did not see it. Pulling a box from behind him, he made his way toward me and held it out. The others leaned in, solemn. What could the Perfect Soldier possibly give me that everyone was reverently waiting for?
The box was quite heavy, for I nearly dropped it as he gave it to me. Inside, I found several items, all quite different from each other.
The first was a simply non-photo blue bow, perfect for securing my chocolate hair. A CD player was next, with several packs of accompanying batteries and a new CD with pretty good music on it, as far as I knew. A silvery harmonica, which I slid into my jeans pocket easily. The last struck a chord within me, making me wonder why on Earth Heero had given me such a thing.
A gun. Not just any old gun, either. Well, it was old, but it was a very good model. It was a one-of-a-kind firearm, used only by Heero Yuy, pilot of Gundam Wing Zero himself. The gun he had wielded so many times when he had been required to leave his trusty Wing Zero. I looked up at him and saw he was quite torn about giving it to me in the first place.
"Heero...this is...this is your gun...isn't it?" My voice was wavering so much, I was surprised he'd understood what I'd said.
"Yours," he grunted.
"But Heero-"
"Yours."
He left no room for argument. None at all. I sighed and slipped the gun into my new belt. This party was officially over.
"Heero, follow me," I commanded, standing. "You guys stay here. I want to talk to him alone."
The other remained in perfect silence as I stalked out of the room, Heero two feet behind me, directly on my heels. My treacherous feet carried me out of the house and into the garden, where Releena's flowers were far from coming up. The holly and fir trees, however, were quite well still abloom, as they never slept when the winter came. Once there, I turned around abruptly, glad Heero had such good reactions, as he stopped.
Just for an instant, time stopped. I stared into his eyes with my green ones and he stared straight back, his blues quivering. He knew what was up.
"Just what are you doing, Heero?" I resounded softly, breaking the silence I so much wanted to break, not with a refusal, but a kiss. It did not happen that way. "I'm no soldier, I shouldn't wield weapons at all. You'll get me into trouble with all this stuff on me. I know you're not the only one, but-"
"Shhhh..." Heero pressed a finger, a rough, calloused finger, to my lips, silencing me at once. "You won't get into trouble."
"What do you mean, I won't get into trouble?!" I shrieked, pulling away from his enticing hand. It may have quieted my fears before, but this was much more than just a simple worry of my own well-being. I worried for my friends' safety as well. "I've still gotta go to school, I can't exactly leave these things lying around the house, either!"
"Listen," he said again. "When I was young, I used to live with a man named Odin. He taught me everything I've ever known. None of it included any emotions or moral upbringings."
"Is that why you're so monotonous?" I cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you telling me now?"
"I trust you won't tell," he answered. "I trust you more than I trust myself with that gun. I feel as though I'll go crazy at any moment and start shooting Duo and Quatre and the others..."
"Heero..." Talk about surprises. Since when did he start feeling this way? Since when did he feel anything? Since when did he trust me enough to tell me, of all people, these things? "I know you well enough to know this: You do care about your friends, even though you don't always show it. You aren't perfect, Heero, nobody is."
"Just the perfect killer," he muttered bitterly. A gasp caught itself in my throat.
"Don't you dare say that!" I shouted at him, unmitigated fury bearing out of me. Another gasp came, this one different. I'd just yelled. Yelled. Screamed. My head began to spin. Never had I shouted out of anger. Never had I truly been angry. Crazy as it seemed, I'd just never had to need to scream.
And now that it was out, I couldn't take it back. My lips trembled as I backed away slowly, my teeth chattering from the cold and the fear I felt of my own self. I tossed the gun into the snow and tripped over a twisted tree root. Picking myself up, I dashed off as fast as my two legs could carry me.
~~~
Heero watched as Siri was set stuttering from her own outburst. She looked like himself, long ago. Back when Mariemeia had been threatening what unstable peace the pilots and Treize had managed to scrounge together. Right when he had fought Wufei and had suddenly given up, sinking into the depths of the Pacific Ocean.
When he'd seriously been considering opening the hatch and allowing the crushing weight of the water kill him before it even flooded into his beloved Zero.
He raced back to the house, picking up the gun as he went, tucking it into his pants pocket. He grabbed a large coat, answering none of the others' frantic questions, with the exception of one.
"Where'd Siri go?" Tari shouted, practically going ballistic. She'd asked him at least a half dozen times before he answered.
"I think she's going to kill herself," he answered in monotone, racing out the door, gone before the words ever fully registered.
~~~
Chattering as my teeth were, I took refuge in the dark library, not truly caring where I really was, but taking pleasure in the fact that the place was left open for homeless people. Finding a librarian, I asked a sheet of paper and a pencil, then sat down to write a farewell letter for Heero when he found me.
I had discovered something about myself in my race against time to flee away from Heero. Figured it all out. I loved him. I was in love with Heero Yuy. But no, I would not be here to claim him. He would find a girl here when he came, all right. But she would not be alive. I sat down, and, using one of my few talents, wrote him a letter:
Dear Heero,
I know you will find me crazy and a bit stupid for doing this, but I have no choice. My life is no longer my own; it belongs to those demons. I live in fear, and fear is not something that should be lived in. Maybe this will help:
Forgive me, for I am young
I have no control over my tongue
It speaks without my will
Bloodthirsty, it wants to kill
Destroy, destroy, destroy
That is its ploy
This tongue that lashes out
With a yell, a scream, a shout
Forgive me, Perfect Soldier mine
Though you spoke not a word, I read your sign
Through your perfect blue eyes
I can read all of your lies
You gave me reason to live
So I ask, please forgive
Time halted just once, it did
Yet I sealed myself, holding the lid
Forgive me
Forgive me
For I am young
And I have no power of my own tongue
Forgive me
Toss me to the sea
Please, Heero, forgive me
I will no longer burden you. Thank you for all that you've done for me. I'll meet you in eternity. Sayonara.
Reading over the letter, I decided it was best to leave it with my things; I wouldn't need them later. Taking off my jacket, bracelet, pendant, and socks and shoes and leaving the letter on top, plainly saying Heero, I ducked back outside. The new belt I had been give was still in place, and I was ready to meet my fate.
Making certain that no one was around, I unsheathed the sword once again, plopping down in the snow, my feet and legs now frozen. Raising the sword's blade to my wrist, I sighed, ready for the pain. A sickening noise cut through the deepest night as dark red blood spurted from the new wound. I lay my head in the drift of snow, waiting for the true Shinigami to come and take me away forever.
~~~
Racing against hope and hoping against faith, Heero ran. Never had he run so fast. He knew he had only a matter of moments behind Siri, and those moments were eating away quickly. Heero could run faster than Siri, but he had been stunned by her sudden tirade of sadness.
What had happened? Siri's bruises had begun clearing up, her mother was there, her friends were all safe. What had happened to that happy-go-lucky girl who never stopped smiling? Where was that smile now? Why had she run away like that?
He had a pretty good idea what she was going to do, regardless. Why else would she have brought the katana with her and left the gun?
But why?
(AN-I may not have made it clear before, so I'm gonna say it now. Nobody, not even Heero, has figured out that it was her father that gave her the bruises. Yeah, they're pretty dense. But then again, so am I!)
Heero ran still faster, his legs screaming in protest as the combination of cold and extreme pressure made them quite painful. Not caring about himself at the moment, he urged his legs to move faster.
Finally seeing the one place he thought she would go, he raced up the library steps. He
immediately spotted the stack of her things, but ignored them. They just proved to him his suspicions. He ran for the back door, and saw what he could clearly state was the most frightening thing he'd ever seen in his life.
"Siri!" he screamed, not caring about his soldier mask any longer. He only knew one thing; get Siri to a doctor, and fast.
***