Chapter 4 -- Home Again, Home Again

"Okay, so you think about it, Chris," Buffy suggested gently to the young woman. "It might be good for you."

Christine Spears, referred to Buffy because of 'socialization problems', nodded. "Guess after-school tutoring would look good on my college applications," she said softly.

Buffy nodded. "Sure would. And who knows? You might just make a few friends out of it. My best friend Will was the same way in high-school as you are now. She was smart and shy and didn't really have that many friends."

"Story have a happy ending?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. She's in college, pulling straight A's, has a handful of friends who really love her, and there's nothing she couldn't do if she put her mind to it." She grinned at Christine. "High-school sucks, it does, and a lot of the people there are absolutely horrible to anyone who's different. Smart like you and Will, off-beat like I was, whatever. But… a lot of the students aren't like that."

Christine nodded. "I know. I do have friends, you know, in spite of what the teachers say. Just because they don't happen to go here…"

Buffy nodded. "I understand, Chris. I do."

"You honestly think that signing up for the tutoring program will get them off my ass?" she asked, sounding dubious.

"Yeah, I really do." Buffy nodded.

"Okay, then." Christine shrugged and nodded. "I'll sign up after you let me go."

Buffy nodded and glanced at her clock. "Tell you what, Chris. We still technically have ten minutes, but why don't you go ahead and sign up now?"

"Okay." Christine nodded and rose.

Buffy rose and walked her to the door. "Sign-up sheets in the front office, and I will see you next week."

Christine nodded. "How long do I have to keep coming to you? I mean… I could be in the library right now."

Buffy smiled apologetically. "I think after next week we can probably start cutting back. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Buffy nodded. "And if you ever actually need a guidance counselor, just drop by."

"Thanks." Christine smiled at her, then turned and headed towards the office.

Buffy grinned as she returned to her seat. She was so absorbed in filling in Christine's progress-report that she did not notice that there was someone leaning against the door-frame watching her.

"Buffy the Guidance Counselor?" he inquired, chuckling softly. "Certainly has a different sort of ring to it than Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Still, I must say, I approve."

Buffy looked up, momentarily stunned. "Giles?" she asked, not quite able to believe it. At his trademark shy smile and nod, she jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him. "Hey! What are you doing here?" she asked, grinning. "Is… oh, God, is the end of the world coming? Again?"

"Third time this week," Giles remarked regretfully, shaking his head, and lightly patting her back before pushing her to arm's length. He needed a good look at that face to assure himself that all was well with the world. Or, at least, her particular corner of it. "How are you, Buffy?" he asked gently, smiling at her and lightly touching her cheek with the back of two fingers. He had forgotten how lovely she was and how much a simple smile from her could lift his spirits.

"Good." Buffy nodded. "I'm good. How long have you been in town?"

"Twenty minutes, all told. I wanted to see you first."

Buffy smiled up at a man she had always considered like a father to her. "How are you? Is something wrong?"

"Possibly, but I'm not entirely sure what yet."

Buffy frowned. "You came to Sunnydale from England for a possibly?"

"Well, given the source, I thought it would be wise." He shrugged. "And… I missed you," he admitted, slipping off his glasses and cleaning them.

"I've missed you, too," she told him, ushering him into the office. "It's not the same without you around."

Giles put his glasses back on and nodded sadly. "I know. My life feels different" empty, my life is empty "without you." He blinked, startled by that stray thought. Empty? Seemed a little strong, even if it was accurate. But why should it be accurate? He dismissed the thought quickly. "Still, you do seem to be doing quite well for yourself. A Guidance Counselor. How many high-schools did you burn down again?"

"Just the two," she laughed. "I know, Giles. Strange that me of all people should get a job like this."

"Not at all." Giles shook his head firmly. "It suits you quite well. You have all the qualities that a job like this requires. Compassion, insight, empathy, a desire to help those around you. No, Buffy, this job is perfect for you." He smiled tenderly at her. "I'm very proud of you."

Buffy blushed and ducked her head. "Dad, you're embarrassing me," she laughed.

He was glad that Buffy was not looking at him, because his smile faded completely at the word 'dad'. He took a deep breath and quickly plastered it back on. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I promise to stop expounding on what a remarkable young lady you are. Even if it is all true." He shook his head and looked around the small office again. There was nothing impressive about it, except for what it represented. Buffy was finally coming into her own, growing up and facing the world as she had never been able to do with Giles there for her to lean on. "Amazing," he remarked.

"Yup. Your little girl, all grown up." Buffy grinned at him. "Who'd a thunk it?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Who indeed. I am proud of you, you know."

"Buffy?" Buffy and Giles both looked up as a cheerful, friendly-looking man in a suit entered. "I just wanted to drop by and let you know that whatever you said to Christine Spears worked. She signed up for after-school tutoring and Habitat for Humanity."

Buffy grinned widely. "That's great, sir."

"You have a golden touch, Miss Summers," he said, smiling.

"Buffy Summers, miracle worker," Giles said quietly, smiling proudly at Buffy. "Now there is something unexpected…"

The principal smiled and nodded his agreement with that assessment. "Is this your father?" he asked Buffy.

"Not exactly," Buffy said, shrugging. "This is Giles. Giles, my principal. Um… boss."

Giles laughed and shook his head. "Just a family friend," he explained, rising and extending his hand. "Rupert Giles."

"Robin Wood." He smiled and shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Giles smiled at him. "Buffy not giving you too hard of a time, is she?"

"Are you kidding?" He laughed. "I don't know what I'd do without her any more."

Giles smiled and nodded. "Good to hear. And… Dawn?"

"Dawnie's doing better than I am," Buffy told him, grinning. "More friends and better grades, anyway."

Giles' smile widened. "Wonderful news, Buffy."

"We'll all go out to dinner after work," Buffy suggested. "School… work." She laughed and shook her head. "Whichever."

"That sounds like a plan." Giles nodded. "My treat. I think I still have one or two credit cards accepted in the States."

"Hey, when has Buffy Summers ever said no to a free meal?"

"Well, there was that dreadful diet phase you went through," Giles said with a laugh. "Do you have time to show me around, Buffy? Or do you need to get back to work?"

"She has time," the principal assured them when Buffy hesitated. "You don't have any more appointments today, and we can route all your walk-ins to other counselors."

"Thanks!" Buffy smiled. "We've got a lot of catching up to do." She grabbed Giles by the arm and hauled him out of the office. "His office is where the library used to be," Buffy told Giles. "Which makes him either evil incarnate or really, really unlucky."

"Hmm," Giles said thoughtfully. "He seems a likable enough fellow."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, seems to be. I like him." She shrugged. "Hell, even the students like him and he didn't give them jobs."

"Well, then, here's hoping that Sunnydale High actually retains a principal for a few years…"

Buffy laughed. "Don't know, Giles. I'm actually starting to wonder. Except for some general creepiness the first day, not that much has happened here."

"Hmm." Giles shook his head. "Curious."

Buffy nodded. "Oh! Xander says that…" She trailed off as a pair of teachers walked by. When they had passed, she whispered, "The walls in the basement have a habit of moving around."

Giles blinked. "Interesting."

Buffy nodded. "That's one word for it."

Giles smiled faintly. "How have you been, Buffy?" he asked gently. He had not realized quite how badly he really had missed her until he had seen her again. Walking with her now, he realized exactly how much a part of him she had become. He could not help but feel a little sad now, in her presence once again, but knowing that he would not be staying.

Buffy shrugged. "Hanging in there. You know how it is."

He nodded. "I do. Being the Slayer is not an easy Calling." He sighed and pulled his glasses off again, cleaning away an imaginary smudge. "I… I wish I could be here to help you all the time, Buffy, I do. But… I can't. You understand that, don't you?"

She nodded, sighing. "Yeah, Giles, I do. Don't like it, but I understand it."

He nodded. "So, is dinner to be just the three of us, or shall we invite the entire Scooby gang?"

Buffy considered for a moment. "Let's invite the whole gang. We all miss, you know. And if there's an apocalypse afoot, they should probably know about it."

Giles nodded. "Of course."

"We can do the quality-time thing after dinner," Buffy added.

Giles smiled and nodded. "I'd like that, Buffy. I've missed our times together."

Buffy looked up at him, curious. His voice was even quieter than usual, and there was something missing in his expression. She could not quite place what it was, but she did not like the change it made in him. He seemed so sad.

"You okay, Giles?" she asked gently.

"Jet lag," he lied, smiling down at her.

He had not anticipated the effect that seeing her again was having on him. It made no sense. Seeing her again should have had him walking on air or, at the very least, not sad. But he was sad, his emotions the psychological equivalent of a blow to the chest. Walls, carefully erected over his years with her, had been allowed to deteriorate while he was away, and now he was paying the price for that. It was not something he could entirely explain, or even understand.

Buffy frowned sympathetically. "Well, why don't you go home and get some sleep?" she suggested. "You still have a key to the house?"

He nodded.

She smiled and nodded. "Okay. Then you go home and get some rest and Dawnie and I will see you around four."

He smiled down at her. "Okay, Buffy. I'll see you then. Have a wonderful day."

"Yeah, you, too."

***

Willow sat on the floor in the middle of the living room, surrounded by open books and sipping at a cup of tea as she read and made notes. She looked up as the door opened, curious. Buffy and Dawn would not be home for hours, Xander was still at work, and no one else she could think of had a key. Except…

"Giles!" she exclaimed as he walked in. She jumped to her feet and launched herself at him.

Startled, Giles dropped his bags. He laughed and shook his head, hugging her close. "Willow, how are you?" he asked, smiling widely and hugging her again. "Oh, you look wonderful," he added when they separated long enough to have a good look at each other. "How are you?"

"I'm… great, Giles." Willow smiled up at him. "Doing a little research. Got an email from Cassandra," she added, her smile fading slightly.

"Ah, of course. Cassandra."

"She why you're here?" Willow guessed, steering him into the living room.

Giles nodded. "Yes, Willow. She's made another prophecy."

Willow sighed. "Can you make any sense of it? Because her email was big with the crypto."

"Mmm, yes, Cassandra does tend towards the cryptic." Giles nodded. "But she seems to think that it's important that I'm in Sunnydale for… whatever is coming."

Willow nodded slowly. "It's big, then?"

"She seems to think so, and I've never known her to be wrong."

Willow sighed and frowned. "Right. There's this poem…"

"The Second Coming." Giles nodded. "Cassandra reacquainted me with it before I left."

"I've been researching it most of the day, but I haven't found anything yet," Willow said. "Here, sit. You must be tired. I'll get you some tea."

Giles smiled widely. "Tea with Willow. I've missed that."

"Me, too." She smiled shyly and walked into the kitchen.

Giles smiled after her, shaking his head. He had missed his time with Willow, every bit as much as he missed his time with Buffy. It was true enough that there was a different character to his affections for Willow, but that did not change the fact that he did care deeply for her. It was not particularly paternal, even if protectiveness and a desire to nurture her were both a very large part of his feelings for her. Simply put, she reminded him of himself. They had so much in common that it was often difficult for Giles to believe that they were not related. Tara had once joked with Giles that he and Willow were like twins born twenty-five years apart.

They really did have a lot in common, too. It was not just a certain bookish tendency, or an interest with and facility for the occult, either. It was not even that they both had dark pasts better left unmentioned, although that certainly was one of the chief similarities between them. They had almost identical world-views, and similar ways of approaching problems great or small. They got along well, were typically in complete accord before a single word have been uttered by either. If the circumstances had been different, he might have considered broadening the scope of their relationship. As it was, though, he could not. There would always have been a fearful, nagging suspicion that he was trying to turn the girl into a proxy for Buffy, and he cared for her far too much to do anything of the sort to her. Willow deserved a man or woman who could give her the love and respect she deserved on her own terms.

"Chamomile, lavender, rosemary, and jasmine," Willow announced, breaking off Giles' reverie.

"Ah, thank you, Willow." Giles smiled up at her as he accepted the cup from her hands. "Here, sit with me for a moment," he said, gently catching her arm. "Like old times, hmm?"

Willow smiled and nodded, retrieving her own cup of tea and sitting down next to him. "How are you, Giles?" she asked. "How have you been?"

"Well, very well. Did you get my email?"

She nodded. "Yeah. The irises weren't mine."

Giles nodded thoughtfully. "Odd. I don't know who else would be capable of such a feat, or why they would bother."

Willow nodded. "Something's unbalanced somewhere. There have been four earthquakes here this week, two of them today."

He sighed thoughtfully, nodding again. "Cassandra mentioned something about it. There's an allusion to earthquakes in the poem, isn't there?"

"Yeah, sort of." She thought for a moment. "Um… 'That twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle'. Yeah, that's it."

He considered for a moment, slipping off his glasses and polishing them. "Cassandra says that an ancient evil slumbers beneath Sunnydale, that it's stirring. Coll feels it, too. He says that something is poisoning the land, causing some kind of metamorphosis. The earthquakes are a sign."

Willow nodded. "Thought so. Something's very wrong here… well everywhere, but it originates here. Can you feel it, Giles?"

He nodded, not afraid to confess his disquiet, not to Willow. "Yes, I can. The sun doesn't look as bright or give as much heat, the air is heavy, the plants don't feel as alive…"

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "Something's coming. And it's big and spooky and…"

"And it has teeth." Giles gently squeezed her shoulder. "I know, Willow. I'd tell you not to be afraid, but…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"But we should be afraid. All of us," Willow whispered. "I don't think I can do this alone, Giles."

"Why do you think I'm here?" he whispered, sighing. Shaking his head, he put down his tea and gathered the girl into a hug. "You honestly think I would let my kids face an impending apocalypse alone?"

Willow closed her eyes and slid her arms around him, leaning against him. "We aren't your kids, Giles," she whispered after better than ten minutes of silence in which neither of them broke the hug.

"Sure you are," Giles told her softly, his voice strained.

Willow sighed and pulled away, regarding him sadly and shaking her head. "Your veneer is crumbling, Giles. Probably has been from the moment you set foot inside Buffy's office. You may love her, but it's not paternal and we both know it."

Giles rubbed his forehead for a moment, shaking his head. He did not even bother to ask how Willow knew he had gone to see Buffy first. "I'd forgotten quite how hard it can be to lie to you, Willow."

"You don't have to lie to me, Giles. Of all of us, I am the last one you need to conceal anything from."

"How long have you known that I love her?" Giles asked in a low voice, taking his glasses off and cleaning them.

"Probably before you did. Or, at least, I've suspected it for years. After I saw what her death did to you, it stopped being a suspicion. It's why you left, isn't it?"

He bowed his head and nodded. "Yes, Willow, it is."

"Don't worry, I haven't told her yet, and I'm not going to."

"I appreciate it, Willow, I really do." Giles shook his head. "It's… Never mind."

"You think it's wrong to love her because she's a Slayer and you're a Watcher." It was not a question.

He nodded. "I'm the worst kind of fool for allowing myself to love her."

Willow shook her head. "No one who knows Buffy could do anything else. Once you know her, you have to love her."

"I know," he sighed. "I do." Another sigh. "It was so much easier when I could still convince myself that she was like a daughter to me. It was easy in England, but once I got back here and saw her again… Things just started falling apart."

"Are you going to tell her?"


He shook his head, letting out another deep sigh. "Willow, whatever I may feel for her, nothing is ever going to change the fact that she always has and always will view me as more of a father-figure than anything else. The truth would only scare her."

Willow wished that she could tell him that he was wrong, that things would work out and he and Buffy would be able to live happily ever after, but she knew better. Giles was absolutely correct in his assessment of Buffy's likely reaction and they both knew it. It was sad. She knew that he would probably allow his feelings for her to prevent him from ever forming another romantic relationship in his life. Willow sighed and gently squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Giles."

Giles smiled faintly at her, covering the hand on his shoulder with one of his own and giving it a little pat. "So am I, Willow." He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Some things are meant to be and some are not."

"Healthy attitude," Willow said softly. "Just wish it weren't necessary."

He nodded absently and they sat in silence for some time. It not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. There was simply nothing that needed to be said at that moment in time, and neither one felt any particular inclination to fill the silence with idle chatter. Giles knew that Willow was glad to have him back and Willow knew that Giles was glad to be back even if it was bitter-sweet for him. They were able to communicate that without words or telepathy. Giles finished his tea and idly examined the dregs as Willow leafed through a book on demonology. He looked at the cup again and picked up his saucer, swirling the tea in the cup three times and carefully upending the cup onto the saucer in a single, practiced motion. He waited for the liquid to drain off and looked up at Willow.

"Cassandra said to ask you about tea leaves, Willow."

Willow looked up, startled. "During the earthquake this morning, my teacup fell onto the floor," she told him quietly. "The patterns… An hourglass, a church steeple, a cross…"

Giles nodded, frowning. It had to be one of the least fortuitous combinations he had ever heard of. He removed the cup from the saucer and examined the leaves thoughtfully. He blinked, startled. "Hourglass, steeple, cross…" He sighed and put the cut down.

Willow frowned up at him. "That was weird."

Giles nodded in agreement. "Have you found anything in those books yet?"

She shook her head. "I'd cast a spell, but I don't know if there is one for divining the nature of a coming apocalypse."

"Of course there is," Giles told her. "You'll need help, though."

Willow nodded. "What do we need?"

"Black mirror, a brazier, some bay leaves, jasmine, cedar chips, and three silver candles."

Willow considered for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I have all of that in my room."

"Wonderful." Giles rose and extended his hand to her. "Shall we, then?"

Nodding firmly, Willow accepted his hand. "Let's go," she said, following him up the stairs and into her room.