Fixing Things

by sirena1

AU seasons 4/1. Angsty at some points, but has a fluffy, completely B/A plot and required fluffy ending. My way of "Fixing Things"

1. A New Beginning

Okay people, this is my first story in a while and my first ever BtVS story, so if it sucks, tell me. Keep in mind this is purely B/A. I know this is kind of AU, but that's the way I want it. And I've never watched Angel, until this season, so I'm not sure how he and the Fang gang meet. So I made up meetings. And Oz never leaves. The whole idea of Willow being gay sorta freaks me out. Spoilers are up to the end of season 3 and the beginning of season 4 of BtVS.

Rating: R, just to be on the safe side.(one semi-not so graphic-scene and some dirty words)

Buffy had spent weeks crying over him. Crying over the love of her life, the one man who made her feel whole and complete. Except, he wasn't a man. He was a vampire. That was one of the deciding factors in ending their relationship in the first place. Angel was too damn noble to see what he could give her instead of what he couldn't. So what he couldn't get her pregnant or take her on picnics? She'd rather have someone who understood her duties, who could fight alongside her in the most vicious battles. He just couldn't understand that and because of his doubts and insecurities he had left her. She didn't know where exactly he had gone. Just that he had only gone to LA. He hadn't even had the decency to say goodbye to her.

Angel walked along the dark streets of Los Angeles thinking. Or brooding as the Scoobies would have put it. He was excellent at brooding. It had been weeks since he'd left Buffy staring at his retreating back, the day of her graduation. She'd tried to keep him there. Telling him that everything would be okay, that she would always love him, but it had been to no avail. In the end he'd had to leave. Had to give her a chance to be normal. To have a human boyfriend, to go to college somewhere besides Sunnydale. He had been holding her back. Hindering her from the life she deserved. It hadn't been fair to her to keep her burdened with him. Their love had been doomed anyway. First when they made love and his demon was released, again when he came back from Hell, when he had to pretend to be with Faith, and finally when Joyce had come to talk to him about Buffy. That had been the final blow. She still had no clue her mother had done that. He intended to keep it that way.

"Willow, I'm trying. But you have to give me time." Buffy told her friend for the millionth time.

"Buffy, we've given you time. You go to class, you slay and you sleep. You've had a whole summer. It's time to get over Angel and move on. Riley really likes you. You should at least give him a chance. He deserves a chance."

"I don't want to give him a chance, Will. Don't you get it? I do not want to give Riley Finn a chance to try to be my boyfriend. I'm not looking for someone to replace Angel. I loved Angel. I always will. And for now at least, I'd rather not date."

"I'm not asking you to marry the guy. I'm asking you to go on a date with him. He's nice, he's normal, he's smart, cute (A/N: Sorry to all Riley friends(what a minority you are) and chuckle: does hearing Willow call Riley cute make anyone else laugh?) and most of all he's HUMAN! He's everything Angel wanted for you."

"And I'm asking you to get your nose the hell out of my life! You have no right to tell me how to live, so stop trying to!" Buffy shouted, tears welling in her expressive eyes. Why couldn't they just understand that she couldn't give up on Angel? That, no matter what happened, she would always believe they were meant to be together? Xander, Willow, Giles, Joyce, they were all trying to push her into the arms of the first guy who showed interest in her. Oz seemed to be the only one who understood. He knew how it was to have a forbidden love, to stand when all sorts of things were against you. He was a werewolf and Willow was a witch. Both were shunned by normal people because of what they were, and still they were together, their love holding strong. But Willow seemed to have a double standard. She was allowed to have unconventional relationships, while Buffy was not. Angel was forbidden fruit for the blonde Slayer, while for the redheaded witch, the werewolf was hers for the taking.

"Buffy, I'm just trying to help." Willow said, trying to appease her angered friend.

"If you want to help, go to LA and get Angel to come back to me. Or fix his curse and let me do the rest. Better yet, make him human too! That would be helping. Shoving me into another man's arms is not helping. If anything, it's hurting me."

"Buff, I don't know if that's even possible. I can look, but I just don't know."

"Try. Please, for me. Just try. I know you were always harboring doubts about me and Angel, but you have to be able to understand how in love with him I am. He's the only man I will ever love."

"I'll try. But don't get your hopes up."

Buffy smiled, "Wouldn't dream of it."

Angel was again, big surprise, wandering the streets of LA by himself. It had been two months since Buffy had started college and he knew it wouldn't be too long until she decided to move on. She was still waiting for him to change his mind, but Angel knew he could never do that. With Buffy, it was all or nothing. He couldn't stand being near her and not being able to touch her, not being able to hold her and love her. It would have been easier had they not made love the night she turned seventeen. He might have been able to stand the temptation. But they had and the mistake was not to be repeated. And he knew if he went back to Sunnydale, his soul would again eventually leave his body. Making love to Buffy hadn't been the only thing that was perfect. The day Joyce had been to see him, he had waken with her securely wrapped in his arms and his happiness was so near complete he had been worried about his soul for a short time. He hadn't told her about that, it would have scared her too deeply, but right then, he'd known that he'd have to leave. Being with Buffy was simply too risky.

Lost in his dark thoughts, Angel didn't notice a familiar brunette walking toward him until he crashed into her. He took a good look at her and gasped, "Cordelia? What are you doing in LA?"

"I could ask you the same question. I thought you'd want to be far, far away from your precious Buffy. I mean, you did leave her and all that. Willow said she still cries herself to sleep at night. You really did a number on her."

"Thanks. I really appreciate being told how much the woman I love is hurting." Angel commented dryly.

"You're welcome. But after all you did cause her to hurt in the first place. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were the most selfish person I've ever met."

"Selfish? How am I being selfish?"

"You left her because you couldn't get groiny or your demon would come out to play. You left her because you couldn't take her on picnics or get her pregnant. Okay, for one, I would not like to see a child of Buffy's. But she doesn't want to bring kids into this world knowing that she'd end up dead before they started kindergarten. She doesn't want to leave any child without a parent and by getting pregnant that would be what she was doing. As for marriage, I believe that was your other argument, hello it's the twentieth century. In a couple months it's gonna be the twenty-first century. People live together all the time without getting married. It's completely normal and accepted. Now the tricky subject. Sex. Okay, just thinking about you and Buffy gives me mental images that'll take years to get rid of. But, did you even have Willow look for a way to fix your curse? Did you use your extensive connections to try and find a way? Did you ask Giles or Xander or Oz or me to help? NO! You did not. For all you know, there is a cure."

"Are you done now?"

"I'm just getting started. I lived through two and a half years of the Buffy and Angel drama. It's my turn to vent some frustrations. I have a right to yell for a little while."

"Cordelia, I'm not going to argue that point, but can we at least go somewhere where not everyone passing by hears us discussing vampires and demons? We'll end up in a nice, white room with padded walls and no windows before sunrise."

"Okay, where do you want to go?"

"How about my apartment?"

"Is it all black and dark and windowless?" Cordelia asked. Angel just looked at her. "Okay, stupid question, I know. I guess your apartment is fine. As long as you promise that I can turn on a whole bunch of lights when I get there."

Angel sighed. "I promise."

"Good. Lead the way, brood boy."

Five minutes later, Angel led Cordelia into his apartment and let her turn on all the lights. There weren't many, but it was enough to lighten the place up. She picked a seat on the couch and he sat down in a chair across from her. "So, I believe you were going to yell at me some more."

"Damn straight I am. Where was I?"

"Something about a cure."

"Right. There has to be some kind of cure, Angel. Maybe Ms. Calendar's version was different. You're the only one in the Scoobies who could've translated it and you ran off so soon after we got everything back to normal that no one had time to ask you to translate it."

"I know this is most likely pointless, but I'm going to try to make you understand. Sex is not he reason I left Buffy. It played a part; I won't deny that, but only a small one. She doesn't need me. I hurt her and I hurt all her friends, and I can't take her into the sunlight or give her everything she deserves. Her life doesn't have to be all darkness and death, but with me in it, that's what it would end up being. As for the sex, we came too close too many times. All it takes is one moment of happiness Cordy. Sex is not the only way to achieve that."

"What do you mean?"

"Just waking up with her beside me made me so happy, I actually feared for my soul for hours. If that innocent thing could make me so happy, can you imagine what living with her, hearing her tell me she loves me everyday, and waking up with her more than once would do? You'd have to recurse me every day and I don't want to put anyone through the displeasure of meeting my other half again."

"I get that Angel, but like I said, why didn't you at least look for another curse, or Hell, a way to make you human?"

"Because there is no way. I've lived with a soul for over a century, do you really think I haven't once looked for a way to become human?"

"I know you've looked for that. But you didn't know about the loophole until a year ago and I know for a fact that you haven't looked for a way to fix the curse since her seventeenth birthday."

"Okay, I'll make you a deal if it'll get you off my back. For six months, during the day, while I am not asleep, I will, with your help, attempt to find a way to fix my curse. If we do, I will go back to Sunnydale and back to Buffy."

"Works for me. I like that deal." Cordelia agreed, "But there is one stipulation."

"And what would that be?"

"You have to do something useful for the rest of your time. No brooding. At all. Got it?"

"Got it. But I can't promise that."

"Okay, but everything I catch you brooding, I'll burn a piece of clothing in the color black."

Angel rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. It was going to be a long six months. Cordelia leaned back into the couch cushions and sighed in contentment. It was going to be a fun six months. She would get him in clothes of many colors, get him out into the world, and finally end the Angel and Buffy saga. Xander would be sorry he'd ever cheated on her with that twit Willow.

Willow walked into her dorm room and found Buffy crying on her bed. She dropped her books on her bed and rushed over to her friend. Buffy wasted no time in laying her head in Willow's lap and sobbing even harder as she had many weeks ago after Angel had left her for good. But this time she knew their love and their relationship was over for good. He'd moved on.

"Buffy, sweetie, what's wrong?"

Buffy stopped crying to speak, but her voice was tearful. "Xander was on a trip in LA for work, and he and Anya were out for a walk last night. Remember the prom picture of me and Angel?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, I had shown it to Anya a while back and she obviously remembered what he looks like. She saw him taking a walk with Cordelia! She was moving in with him! Oh God Willow, I didn't know anything could hurt this bad!"

Willow was shocked. She'd halfway expected Angel to move on, but not to move on to Cordelia. That was just scary. "Shh. It'll be all right. I know it hurts."

Buffy just held onto her best friend as if her life depended on keeping her grip tight. After a couple hours and a missed class, Buffy finally stopped crying and fell into a troubled sleep. It was nearly Thanksgiving, and she had nothing to be thankful for. Her mother was away for some art gallery showing, Angel was sleeping with the enemy, and everyone but her had someone to share the holidays with. She was hurt and lonely and alone and she felt like no cure in the world could ever make her better ever again.

"So, I can redecorate my room and the kitchen?" Cordelia asked, making sure she had heard her new roommate correctly.

"Yes. But you cannot go into my room or touch a thing in the living room without asking." Angel said patiently. "And I refuse to have a pink kitchen."

"Why in the world would I want to paint your kitchen pink? Maybe yellow or blue, but definitely not pink. It's such a feminine color, and though the kitchen needs some feminine touched, it does not need to resemble a seven year olds playroom."

"Thank God."

"Yeah well, I'm going out for a little while to get paint and things. I'll be back in a couple hours, roomie." Cordelia teased, leaving the apartment. Angel rolled his eyes.

Twenty minutes later, a knock came on the door. Angel got up and opened it cautiously, careful to avoid the light from the hall windows. "Can I help you?" Angel asked the man standing at his door.

"You're Angel, right?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"I'm Doyle. Alan Francis Doyle to be exact. I've been sent from the Powers to help you out."

Angel scowled. He didn't like the people the Powers that Be sent to help him. "I don't need any help."

"Sure ya do. Don't worry, I ain't like Whistler. I'm only half demon and I'm here for good."

"Why are you here?"

"I told you. The Powers sent me to help you."

"Help me with what exactly?"

Doyle sighed. "Everything my friend. I get visions of people who need your help. The deal is, I get brain splitting headaches and gory images of people in trouble and you go and save them."

"Doesn't sound like I get very much out of this deal."

"You'll get more than you could ever know." Doyle said cryptically.

"Good to know I get something. So, how does this work? You get a vision, call me, I go stop whatever bad thing is happening and make the Powers happy?"

"God, you are grumpy. Is it past your bedtime?"

Angel smirked. "Cordelia asked me that same question not even an hour ago."

"Cordelia? What a name."

"She's my roommate. My ex-girlfriend and she were sort of friends in high school and she moved in because she needed a place to stay for a while."

"Right. Buffy. Whistler mentioned her."

"You talked to Whistler about me?"

"Sure did. How else was I supposed to find out what I needed to know? He said you and the Slayer fell madly in love and when you consummated your love, Angelus made a guest appearance, via loophole in your curse, you tried to open a gate to Hell, she sent you there, you came back, got back together with her, dumped her, drained her, and abandoned her. Did I get that right?"

"Mostly." Angel said guiltily.

"Hey, don't feel bad. I would've done the same thing."

Buffy slowly got out of bed, then sank back down in the mattress. She couldn't get up, couldn't go to class, she could hardly think without crying. She'd thought that the worst of the pain had been over when Angel had left. She'd been getting along fine. She even been able to go hours without thinking about him. Sometimes those thoughts had even resulted in smiles instead of the ever-present tears. But she'd been wrong. This hurt more than his leaving had. Because it was obvious that he was over her and that he had moved on. He didn't need her anymore, maybe he never had, and she still ached for him.

"Buffy? Can I come in?" Xander called through her closed dorm room door.

Buffy sighed. Xander was the last person she wanted to talk to. "Yeah. Come on in."

Xander opened the door and walked inside. What he found shocked and surprised him. Buffy was lying in bed, under the covers in a baggy sweater and sweatpants with wadded up tissues littering the floor beside her bed. A worn leather jacket, Mr. Gordo, and a stake were lying on the bed beside her. He noticed that her hair was up, showing him her scar and the cross necklace that Angel had given her was around her neck.

"Hey, Will called me and told me that you weren't in great shape after Anya's announcement. I decided to come over and cheer you up."

"Thanks, but it won't work. You're probably happy that he's screwing Cordelia."

Xander sighed and sat down on the corner of Buffy's bed. "I wouldn't say that. Yeah I did think it was best when he left. All he ever did was hurt you. And no, I never liked Angel much, but my outlook on demons and vampires with souls has changed a lot. Hell, Buffy, I'm dating a former vengeance demon who's 1100 years old. And I'm not happy that Angel's screwing Cordelia as you put it. I was in love with her for a long time. And I know that knowing Angel's with her now hurts you. And I'm never happy when you're hurting."

Buffy wiped telltale tears from her face and sat up to hug Xander. "Hey, Xand?"

"Yeah?"

"When did you grow up?"

"Probably the day I realized I was in love with Anya. Are you really going to be all right?"

"Eventually. This just makes it seem as if everything we had meant nothing to him. It's only been four months, and I'm barely operating and he's moved on to one of my best friends from high school. Does he ever even think about me? Did he really ever love me? And why in the world does he have to be boinking Cordelia?! I would feel better if he'd gone back to Drusilla!"

Xander looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Would you now?"

Buffy relented. "Probably not in reality. But in theory, yes."

"Buff, I think that thinking about Angel being with anyone but you hurts. And I understand that, really I do. And so do Willow and Oz. We may not know the extent at which you are hurting, but we've all been there. Watching someone we love move on to someone else while we're still trying to be able to get out of bed in the morning without thinking about them. But you've got to keep living. And right now Buffy, you're just existing. You don't get out of bed, you don't brush your hair, you don't go to class or do your homework and you don't eat unless force-fed by Willow. This isn't living. This can hardly be classified as existing. You've got to keep going. And maybe sometime in the future, when you're happy, and Angel's miserable with Cordelia, you'll be able to go to LA and make him hurt the way you're hurting."

Buffy's eyes welled with tears. "But I don't want to hurt him. That was half of the problem, I hurt hum too much. He couldn't be around me, could hardly stand to look at me when we were together, he hardly ever touched me. And then when I had to ask him to play Angelus, he kissed Faith more in one day than he had kissed me in a whole year. I kept hurting him, I said the wrong thing and didn't give him enough time. Did you know that the night we made love, he didn't want to? He didn't think I was ready. And it was hurting him to do that when he knew he was going away. Not because of the curse, but because he was still dead set on getting that arm back and taking it somewhere safe. And then, do you have any clue how much I hurt him when I stabbed him to close Acathla? And I hurt him again when he came back from Hell to find me with Scott? He came back from HELL for me and then found out that I was with another guy. How do you think that made him feel? And I never once thought about that!"

Xander pulled Buffy into his arms. "Shh. It'll be okay."

Buffy shook her head. "No, it'll never be okay, because I'll never be okay again."

On Thanksgiving Doyle got a vision that sent Angel running to Sunnydale to help Buffy with some Indian spirits that arose when a team of construction workers, including Xander, broke into an old settlement. He alerted Willow, Xander and Giles of his presence, but never once let Buffy see him. He figured out that she could still sense him, even after five months, and had to be even more careful about not letting her see him. He hadn't counted on Spike being there, but after finding him tied to a chair with several arrows sticking out of him screaming "You made a bear!" over and over, he began to think of the situation as amusing. He would have been back in LA at his office within twenty-four hours of arriving in Sunnydale, without Buffy knowing he'd ever been there had Xander kept his mouth shut. So, the next morning, an irate Slayer barged into his office building. He felt sorry for Cordelia, who was the first to deal with her.

"Buffy, what the Hell are you doing here?" Cordelia asked pleasantly, turning from the computer screen.

"Where's Angel? I need to see him now!"

"You'll have to make an appointment. Angel's very busy today."

"Screw appointments! Either you tell me where the fuck he is or I'll beat it out of you."

"Buffy, calm down. This is an office, there is no need for such language."

"You're right Cordelia. That was WAY too polite! So, what do ya say? Are you gonna tell me where he is, or do you want to get an up close and personal view of my fist crashing into your overly done plastic nose?" Buffy asked sweetly, her voice sugar coated. Cordelia was impressed at the amount of bitchiness the Slayer was exhibiting.

Cordelia stood up. "Let me give you a choice, little girl. This is where I work and this is a place of business, into which you have not been invited, so you can either calm down and act civil and let me do my job correctly, or you can leave and go back to Sunnyhell where you belong. Which is it Buffy? Better hurry and make your decision because I'm giving you about fifteen seconds before I call the police to come and remove your skinny ass from my office!"

"Who the f- never mind Cordelia. I found him." Buffy said storming over to the vampire who had just appeared in the doorway. She raised her hand and slapped him across the face, hard. "Why did you come back there? You proved your point, you don't need me. I got it already. I could've handled it just fine. I was doing fine."

Angel smirked. "Were you now? If you were handling it so well, why did two people die before you stopped the spirits? And why were you flirting with your boy- toy when you should have been trying to find a way to stop the Indians?"

"Riley? You mean Riley right? Tall, blonde, muscular? Is that him? I'm sure you saw me with him when you were spying on me. Or was that when you scared the crap out of Willow and made her think that you were evil again with your stalker routine? Maybe I was talking to him because I trust him. Because he never hid from me and because he's never lied to me."

"You wanna talk trust Buffy, let's go there. You think you were the only one betrayed? Try again sweetheart. This ring a bell? Close your eyes Angel."

Buffy looked stricken. Her face turned white and she swayed on her feet. "I never thought you blamed me for that."

"Think again. You sent me to Hell, Buffy. And yeah, you did it to save the world, so what? I wouldn't have made you believe that everything was okay and then ran a sword through your belly. And I sure as hell wouldn't have moved on to another girl less than three months later."

"Yeah because you're so perfect. I trusted you to be there in the morning and I nearly died, so did all my fiends and the woman Giles was in love with did die. I trusted you not to drink too much, and I nearly died. I trusted you not to leave me again, because you promised we'd be together forever, and I'm still dying. Because permanent death has to elude Buffy Summers. Because I have to be in pain every second of every day wishing you were with me. And because I know you've moved on the next high school girl and forgotten about me!" Buffy screamed and fled from the office. Angel waited only a beat before running after her, but by the time he got to the door, she was already gone. The office was deathly quiet for a moment before Cordelia spoke up.

"Angel, you know I love seeing Buffy brought down a notch or two but that was a severe case of overkill. Not that she didn't deserve to be yelled at, but bringing up her sending you to Hell was cruel."

"What do you know about it Cordelia? You've never liked her."

"True enough, but I never would have said that to her. I have very little tact, and I would've said nearly anything to her to get her to admit that she's not perfect, but I wouldn't have brought that up. Not in a million years."

Xander was waken in the middle of the night by Buffy pounding on his door. He got up and walked over to let her in. Her eyes were red and Buffy, telling him that she'd been crying and she was a mess. He clothes were rumpled and her hair was messy, she had streaks of mascara running down her face and she looked like she was still on the verge of tears.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, pulling her inside the basement.

"He hates me, Xander. He hates me. I went to LA this morning and we got into a fight and he told me that he does blame me for sending him to Hell, and he does blame me for dating Scott so soon after he died."

"Buffy, he's been dead for over two centuries."

"You know what I mean. And I told him that I blamed him for becoming Angelus and not being there when I woke up in the morning, and that I blamed him for drinking from me when he was dying. And I made him do both those things. I made him turn into Angelus and I made him drink from me. And I probably made him run into the outstretched arms of Cordelia. And I told him I blamed him for killing Jenny and nearly killing all of us."

"Did you tell him all that before or after he told you about the Hell thing?"

"After."

"What were his exact words?"

"You wanna talk trust Buffy, let's go there. You think you were the only one betrayed? Try again sweetheart. This ring a bell? Close your eyes Angel."

"And what did you say?'

"I said that I never though he blamed me for that."

"And what did he say?"

"He said think again. You sent me to Hell. And yeah, you did it to save the world, so what? I wouldn't have made you think that everything was okay and then run a sword through your belly. And I sure as Hell wouldn't have moved onto another girl less than three months later."

"Then whatever you said to him, he deserved. He had no right to say that stuff to you under any circumstances. It was cruel and soulless."

Buffy nodded. "I know. I thought I was gonna pass out when he said he still blamed me. I deserve to be blamed, but I wish he would've told me when he came back instead of letting me think he still loved me."

"You're right. He should have told you. But he didn't and now you know the truth. Does it make it any easier?"

"It makes it harder."

"Exactly. Would you have been able to deal any better with him around this past year and knowing he blamed you?"

"No."

"Then what I think you should do is thank God that you had a good year with him, go home take a shower, and get some sleep. Then you need to get up in the morning and go to class. Okay?"

Buffy nodded. "Good idea. Thanks Xander. You've helped a lot."

"It was no problem."

The next morning, Xander Harris did something he never thought he'd do. He packed a bag, got Anya, packed her a bag, got everything she needed for a one or two day trip into his car and drove to LA to say some things to Angel that were way overdue. He'd put up with a lot of things, during the Angel and Buffy saga, but having him tear out her heart over and over again was just pushing it too far.

"Hello Cordelia, where's Angel?" Xander asked brightly, leaning over the counter at Angel Investigations to face his ex-girlfriend.

"Asleep. Why? Did you come to yell at him too?" Cordelia asked suspiciously.

Xander didn't see the point in lying. "Yes. When will he wake up?"

"In a few hours. He goes to bed at sunrise and gets up around three."

Xander looked at his watch which read 8:13. Nearly five hours. "All right. I'll be back at three-thirty."

"Hey Xander?" Cordelia called after him. He turned around and looked back at her.

"Yeah?"

"Try not to be really hard on him. I spent an hour screaming at him yesterday. Believe it or not, he's hurting as much as she is."

"I don't think that's possible Cordelia. She showed up at my house at two this morning looking like he'd ripped her heart out, stomped on it a few dozen times and then crammed the pieces back inside her chest. I've never seen her like that."

"I told him to let her know that he was there. He was afraid that seeing him would hurt her too much."

"Because he's moved on and she hasn't?"

"He's moved on? Right. And I'm married to the Pope. He's had Buffy- face since Thanksgiving."

"And I'm sure you've helped him get rid of that."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Anya and I were here in LA a few weeks ago and we saw you moving into Angel's apartment."

"And you just assumed I was boinking him?"

"Well, yeah."

"Harris are you that dense?! Angel and I are friends. Nothing more. And he moved into his own apartment here less than a week later. Dennis didn't like him."

"Dennis?"

"My ghost. He haunts Angel's old room at my apartment. They didn't get along, so Angel left. And you know me, do you really think I would boink a dead body?"

Xander grimaced. "Unneeded mental images."

"Sorry. Oh God, did you tell Buffy?"

"Anya did."

"So that's what that was about. She came in here being a real bitch to me. And I didn't know why. But it all makes sense now. Like I'd do that to her. We may have never been close, but that's overstepping all laws of even partial friendship."

"Have you developed a conscience?"

Cordelia snorted. "Hardly. Were he human and the circumstances slightly different, like him not being still totally in love with her, I wouldn't waste any time going after him. But there are just certain rules of society that have to be followed. And that is one of them."

"Whoa, you did get a conscience. That, or you're in love with someone else. Which is it, Cordy?"

"Neither. I am enjoying my time as a totally free and totally desirable member of the female species."

"We're all the same species Cordelia." Doyle said, entering the office building. "Who're your friends?"

"They're hardly friends. Xander is my former boyfriend, whom I dumped, and this is Anya, my replacement and a former vengeance demon. They're here to yell at Angel for hurting Buffy."

"But we've already yelled at him, Princess. Why does there need to be more yelling than there was yesterday?""

"Because these two are friends of Buffy from Sunnydale and the Sunnydale Scooby Gang was severely under represented at yesterday's yelling fest."

"I see. Well Wesley will be in soon. He needs to borrow one of Angel's books for some cross referencing on a demon they fought last night."

"Good. I'll have him come back or stay until Angel wakes up so we have someone else to keep Xander here from staking Angel. And with the mood he's in I don't doubt that he'd let him do it."

"I'll tell him that he might need to stay a few hours. I doubt he'll be very happy about it though."

"I don't care if he'll be happy about it or not. It's what's going to happen."

Xander grinned. Cordelia Chase had grown up. He never thought the he'd see the day when she acted like an adult. Now that it had happened he automatically looked around to see if the world had stopped moving. Finding that everything was still in order and not destroyed, he rolled his eyes and prayed that she stayed the new grown-up Cordelia.

"Xander, what are you doing here? Hello, Anya." Wesley said, walking into the lobby.

"Hi, Wesley. Xander's here to yell at Angel. He dragged me along because I'm a good girlfriend and I can offer moral support after Angel kicks the shit out of him." Anya said, smiling pleasantly at Wesley.

"Ah, yes, well, it's good to see both of you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do some research."

"Oh, Wesley, you're staying until Xander leaves to make sure Angel doesn't get staked."

Wesley grumbled something, but nodded. "I suppose so. Can't have the boss ending up as a little pile of dust, now can we?"

Xander looked at his watch again and saw that it was getting close to nine. Sighing, he motioned to Anya and they left the building, promising to be back by two that afternoon in case Angel woke up early. Cordelia grumpily agreed and went back to filing some case files.

At one-thirty Angel came upstairs dressed in a light blue button up short-sleeved shirt, black dress pants and black shoes. Cordelia raised an eyebrow at the shirt, but decided to say nothing until he'd gotten some blood in him. He tended to be grouchy before he ate.

"Good morning." Cordelia said after he drained a packet of blood that he'd pulled from the refrigerator.

"Morning. Anything new I need to do today?"

"No phone calls. A couple walk-ins wanting you to follow unfaithful spouses, but I turned them down. Oh, and Xander stopped by with Anya. He came to yell at you. Apparently Buffy showed up at his place at two this morning looking like shit. He got the story out of her and decided that you needed to be yelled at."

"Great. Just what I need. Like I don't feel bad enough already."

"Well, if it's any consolation, he was acting quite a bit more grown up than Buffy was yesterday. And I think this might actually do you some good. You never took Xander yelling at you very well. It tended to end in one or both of you injured. Most times you injured him and Buffy injured you though."

"I remember quite well Cordelia. When is Xander coming back? I want to get this over with."

"He'll be here by two."

"Good. I'll be in my office. Come and get me when he gets here. He can yell at me in here."

"Okay. Have fun doing whatever it is you do in there."

At two on the dot Xander and Anya came back in. "We're back. Is Deadboy awake yet?"

"Yes. But before I call him out here, you have to promise not to kill him. He's my boss and I really need this job."

"I promise. Now get him out here."

Cordelia stood and left the room. A few moments later, she returned with Angel following close behind her. He looked like his normal guilty self and Cordelia looked more than a little annoyed. She was mumbling something about matches and his favorite black pants.

"Xander, I was led to believe you are going to yell at me?"

"Probably. But not right now. Right now, I want to talk. Cordelia, can you keep Anya company while Angel and I talk?"

Still shocked, Cordelia nodded silently and reached for some magazines. Angel swiftly led Xander into his office. Xander sat down in one of the two chairs in front of his desk and Angel sat behind the desk, well out of staking range.

"What can I do for you?" Angel asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Talk like I said. Buffy came here yesterday because of me, and I can't help but think that some of what went down yesterday was my fault. Earlier I told her that she needed to yell at you, simply to let you know what she was feeling like. She keeps everything about you bottled up and she won't tell anyone, not even Willow, so I thought that letting off some steam would do her some good. I even though that maybe you needed to yell back to make her realize that everything really is over. She was hanging onto this false hope that you two were going to get back together and she needed to get over it. So I encouraged her to come here and yell. I didn't expect you to let your demon have a say and bring up her sending you to Hell. She did it to save the world. You would have done the same thing had you been in her shoes and so would I. She did what was right and I am still proud of her for that. It took a lot of guts. But you have no right to blame her. And you told her over and over that you didn't and then yesterday you changed your tune. She came to me looking like you had ripped out her heart, stomped on it, and put it back, expecting it to keep working."

Angel was surprised at the amount of maturity the boy was showing. "Xander, I know I hurt her. That's all I ever do. You can't even imagine how guilty I feel about that. But there is nothing I can do about it. I very seriously doubt she'd benefit at all from me going to see her. I just want her to be happy and have a normal life."

"I get that. But Angel, the harsh reality is, she doesn't have that luxury. I knew her both pre- Angel and post- Angel and she's not happy in either of them. Her world doesn't make sense, it isn't supposed to. She's the Slayer and you've been around long enough to know that the Slayer never lives longer than twenty five or so. Guess what? She's nineteen. That's six years. She isn't normal and you leaving doesn't change that. She's different and her world is freaky. Nothing will ever change that."

"You're right. Her world isn't supposed to make sense. But it makes even less sense if I'm in it. She has to question her loyalty to the good side because I'm a vampire and she has to be on the lookout not only for regular vamps and all sorts of evil things after her, but things that would use her as a way to get back at me. I complicate an already complicated matter and I shorten an already short life span."

"I know that. But facts are facts. She's miserable without you. She's unhappy and careless and she's going to end up dead a whole lot sooner if something doesn't happen to make her be careful. She's abnormal and freaky and nothing about her makes sense and it's already complicated beyond belief, so what difference does a little more weirdness, a few more bad guys and a few more complications make? Because if that's what she has to put up with to be with you, then you know she'd do it in a heartbeat of her fragile, broken heart."

Angel sighed. He wasn't used to a mature Xander. It was unnerving him to think of the boy as a mature, responsible adult, but that was what he was proving himself to be. And he had made some logical points. But there were still too many problems. "So what do you suggest that I do?"

Xander grinned. "I was hoping that you'd ask me that. And I gotta admit I used up all my good arguments getting you to this point. The only good one I got left is the you both are still totally in love with each other one, which is pretty good if you think about it, but I'm gonna get to the point here. I suggest you start doing some serious research on these people called the Oracles, cause Anya was telling me about them on the drive up here and she said that they're like all- knowing or something like that. According to her, they can tell you if there are ways to fix your curse. Or even better, she said that they may know a way to turn you human."

Angel leaned forward. "I think we need to talk to your girlfriend."

"I'll go get her. Wait here, I'll be right back." Xander said, standing and starting for the door. Angel called him back before he got all the way there.

"If Doyle's out there bring him in here too. He may know something about the Oracles." Angel requested, leaning back.

Less than a minute later Doyle, Anya, and Xander all entered the room. Xander and Anya sat in the two chairs already out while Doyle went to the closet to get himself a chair. Once they were all seated, Angel spoke.

"Xander said something about the Oracles. I've never herd of them, but I know you have Anya, and I'm betting you know something about them too Doyle. Would one of you like to elaborate on what they are?"

Anya decided to. "Well, they work for the Powers. They can grant wishes and tell the future and answer questions. They know everything. And Xander was ranting about you hurting Buffy, and I just though that telling him who could fix you would be a good way to shut him up. I honestly have never heard of a vampire becoming human. And I'm really old. I don't even know if the Oracles are allowed to do stuff like that."

Doyle spoke before Angel or Xander could comment. "I know who they are." He admitted ruefully. "And since you asked, I'll tell you about them. Anya's right, they do work for the Powers. Just like me. But other than that, it's a little different. They're the link between the Warriors and the Powers. Warriors of Light, you and Buffy go to them to ask them questions. If the Powers want you to know, they tell the Oracles and the Oracles tell you. If they want you to figure it out on your own, they'll give you a riddle, hint, or clue to set you on the right track. By themselves, they can't tell the future, but they can grant wishes. But not the evil, vengeful kind like Anya granted. And I think that they may be able to tell you what you need to know. If you want to contact them, I can show you how after sunset."

Angel nodded. "That sounds good. What do you need to get me into see them?"

Doyle thought for a moment. "I'll need the sacred sand, a gold bowl on a pedestal, the book with the ceremonial words in it and a gift to give them."

"Anya, you can help him with that, I'm sure."

"Sure. I know where we can get all that stuff."

"Good. Xander, call and order you guys some lunch and let's get to work."

Buffy laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Willow was writing some sort of paper next to her, but she wasn't sure what it was on. Something about mythology, she remembered, but she didn't know what about it. Someone knocked on the door and Willow got up to let them in. She heard talking and then two people entered the room. One was Willow, but she couldn't tell who the other one was. A guy, she guessed by the way he walked.

"Buffy, there's someone here to see you."

Buffy slowly sat up to face her visitor. It was Riley. Oh joy. Just who she wanted to see. Well, she could always vent her frustrations on him. Punching was the best way to let pent up feelings out. "Hello Riley." She greeted the boy coolly. "What can I do for you?"

"Hey Buffy. Are you all right? Willow said that you weren't feeling very well."

"I just got some bad news. It upset me. Did you need something?"

"Well, Professor Walsh sent me to find out why you haven't been in class lately, and I decided to come here to find you."

"Well, I'm upset because of some awful news that I got yesterday, but before that, I was busy crying for weeks straight because I found out that my ex-boyfriend, whom I am still in love with, is boinking one of my friends from high school. But don't worry, Willow's been handing in all my assignments, and bringing me all the notes. Pick one."

Riley sighed and sat down beside Buffy. "Look. I understand that you're hurting. But this is no way to prove to that guy that you're okay without him. And if you don't come to class soon, Walsh is gonna have your head."

"What if I don't wanna prove that I'm doing okay? Cause I'm not. Not at all. I miss him and I love him. And if you could see beyond your want to get laid by a heartbroken blonde, you'd realize that I'm not gonna be okay until he comes back to me."

"I think you're a little off base here."

"I don't think so. Do you really think that I'm too dumb to see the way you look at me? I'm not. I see the way you check out my ass as I walk away. I see how you stare not at my face, but at my boobs when we talk. And let me tell you something Fish face, I'm not interested. Not in the slightest! So if you wanna be friends, I'm cool with that. A girl can't have too many friends. But if I ever catch you staring at a part of my body that friends shouldn't even look at, be aware that I will use all my talent for martial arts to kick your ass. And I will be more that happy to do it in public. Is that plain enough for you to get? Cause I got the fact that you don't understand subtle hints a long time ago." (A/N: I just had to fix the Riley- fiasco. I hated season four just because of the whole B/R thing. So, here's my way of fixing it! Hope you enjoyed!)

Riley stared in shock for a long moment before mumbling something about calling his mother and leaving the room quicker than he had arrived. Willow took his abandoned place and looked at Buffy for a minute before deciding what to say. Finally, she spoke.

"Well. That was interesting. Did you mean to insult him that way?"

Buffy decided to let Willow in on some things she'd been holding in. "Will, you're my best friend and I love you like a sister, but wise up! For the last three months you have been hassling me to date that loser. And I know you haven't spent one minute looking for a way to cure Angel. I told you before and I'll tell you again, I am in love with Angel and I will never love anyone else. He spoiled me for any other men. You need to realize that Riley is nothing but a dork and I would be bored with him in two minutes. Not everyone can be as happy with you with the next best thing."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Willow asked angrily.

"Oz is great and I know you love him, but if Xander had given you the time of day before you met him, would you really have given him a second look? And when Xander finally realized what he was missing, you wasted no time beginning an affair. I got the guy I wanted and as long as I'm in love with him, I can't settle for anyone less."

"Now it's your turn to listen, Buffy Summers! You aren't so great and for weeks I've played the dutiful friend, listening to you whine and complain about how life isn't fair and how fate hates you. Well guess what? I've had just about enough! Yeah Angel left you, so what? He's a vampire. A blood sucking, sometimes evil Vampire. And yeah you loved him and he left, but it's over now. He isn't coming back and you need to give it up and move on! But no, you're too perfect to realize that bad things don't just happen to you! They happen to everyone all the time. We've given you months, I've listened to you cry day after day and I've listened to you whine about everything that reminds you of Angel. It's time to get over him. He isn't coming back! He doesn't love you anymore! I think that much is obvious by the way he hopped into Cordelia's bed as soon as you were out of the picture! Get on with your life Buffy! Angel has."

Buffy ignored the tears welling in her eyes for the moment and leapt from her bed. She snatched clothes from her closet, snagged her purse from the bedside table and ran out the door. A minute later Willow heard the bathroom door slam down the hall. She immediately felt bad about her words, but couldn't bring herself to go apologize. Buffy needed to realize that everything with Angel was over.

Buffy splashed water on her face and scrubbed it roughly. The contents of her purse were dumped on the counter and she plucked a bottle of foundation from among the pile, rubbing the creamy substance on her face to hide her severe blotchiness. She had to know. Had to know if he still loved her. But she couldn't go running up there the way she had before. This time it had to be planned, and she had to look her best. It was time to take some action. Buffy Anne Summers was, for once, going to make her own decisions, and if Angel didn't like that, well, she'd just make him like it.

Buffy lined her eyes in a deep blue and filled her lids in with a peachy color that nearly matched her skin. She brushed a rosy blush over her cheeks and applied her favorite lipstick. She stripped down to her bra and panties and surveyed the clothes she'd snatched out of her closet. She pulled on an beige leather skirt that fell to her knees with a front slit and a black lace shirt with long bell sleeves. She tugged on knee high dark brown boots and piled everything back into her purse. For someone who'd been crying nonstop for the past twelve hours, she didn't look half bad.

In order to make Angel admit what she needed to hear, Buffy realized she'd have to do some planning, maybe a little research, and a lot of thinking. The traditional 'I still love you' approach wouldn't work with him, and she knew it. Angel needed a well thought out plan and some research to back it up. Maybe a chart, no, that would be a little too complicated. She'd be liable to screw it up and end up making him do the opposite of what she wanted him to do.

The drive to Giles' apartment was a little longer than she remembered. And she knew he'd be pissed that she'd borrowed Oz's van without her license, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. All that mattered was getting to Angel. She had a funny feeling in her stomach that something big was going to happen with her demonic ex-lover and she wasn't in a mood to wait around for a ride. So, she decided that it would be quicker to deal with the wrath of Giles and/or a policeman than to wait for someone to break down and give her a ride to LA without any complaints.

"Giles? Are you here?" Buffy called, entering her Watcher's apartment.

"I'm in the kitchen." Giles answered. Buffy followed is voice and found him cooking something. A look at the clock told her that it would be sundown in less than two hours.

"I'm going to LA."

"Why? I thought that after last time, you wouldn't be in a hurry to repeat the experience."

"I'm not, but there's something I have to do."

"Which would be?"

"I have to make Angel realize that we don't need to be so far apart."

"Is this another attempt to get back together with him?"

"It'll probably turn into one, yes. But right now, I just need to hear him say that he still loves me."

"What in the world made you think that he doesn't love you?"

"Willow said so. I have to go Giles. I need to see for sure. And I feel something. Something big is going down tonight and I have to be there."

"A good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good I think. I don't have my sense of dread, more of anticipation. I have to go. Something is drawing me there."

"Well if you have a feeling, you must go running to help." Giles said sarcastically.

"Would it kill you to pretend to be supportive for two seconds? I'll be back tomorrow morning. And whether you like it or not, I'm going."

"Buffy, you have been like a daughter to me, and I love you accordingly, but I can't stand by and watch as that man tears out your heart again. You're a young girl, blinded by love. And though you are an extraordinary girl and your love with Angel is also extraordinary, I fear for you every time you go to see him. You haven't been yourself for months and just as you were starting to come back, Xander opened his mouth and you ran to LA and you're back to a heart broken Buffy."

"I know, but let me try to find myself. I lost myself when I lost him, and I think that I have to find Angel to find me. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's the way it has to work."

Giles smiled sadly. "Somehow, I know what you mean." He said softly, and then turned back to his dinner. Buffy silently left him to his memories of the one woman he'd ever really loved.

The drive to LA was long and boring. She kept looking all around for policemen because she was trying to make the two hour drive in the hour before sundown. She finally made it to Angel Investigations ten minutes after the sun set. She raced into the office building and looked around wildly. She saw Cordelia, Doyle, Wesley, Xander, Anya, and finally Angel. Their eyes locked and she felt her knees grow weak at all the sensations flowing through her. He stared at her for a long minute, and then she saw him take a deep, unnecessary breath. One of her hands subconsciously brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and broke the trance with one word.

"Hi."

Angel almost smiled at the simplicity she used. "Hi. Why are you here? I thought we said everything that needed to be said earlier."

"Do you really think that a few harsh words will make me go away?" Buffy spat bitterly.

"No! God, Buffy, I don't want you to go away. I never did."

"Yeah I was the one who made you go away." She mumbled sadly. No one but Angel heard her. Thinking he hadn't, she continued. "I stabbed you and sent you to Hell, and then I hurt you by dating Scott and by not giving you enough time, and then by asking you for more time, and that made you go away. But the topper of this cake was my birthday, when we made love and I was awful. Angelus told me so, and he was notorious for telling the truth. I was so bad I made you give up control."

Then Angel was beside her, forcing her to look him in the eye. "That isn't true and you know it. We need to talk, Buffy, but first, there's something I have to do. Do you want to come along?"

Buffy nodded. "Sure. But I'm not really dressed for slaying."

"This has nothing to do with slaying. Doyle, Anya, lead the way."

Doyle took them to an old post office and then down into the basement. Some big words, sacred sand and an expensive vase later, Angel and Buffy were standing in front of two creatures who looked like giant Smurfs. "Lower beings, what business do you have with us?" the stoic male asked boredly.

"More importantly," the female began, "What have you brought us as payment for the information we will share?"

Angel held out the vase and the female Oracle squealed in delight. "Will this do?" he asked.

"It will." The male conceded. "What knowledge do you seek?"

Angel looked over at Buffy. "Even though I think you already know, I'll say it just to fill her in. I have been told by a servant of the Powers that Be that you can tell me how to fix the loophole in my curse."

"I didn't think Cordelia could make you that happy." Buffy muttered.

"Oh, Slayer, you are so naïve." The female Oracle said patiently. "It is not Cordelia for whom the vampire wishes to secure his soul. It is you."

"Me? But he hates me."

"Humans are sometimes stupid. This is one of the times I wish I could smack some sense into her." The female Oracle told her mate.

"I am liable to agree. Well, you are the one who loves meddling in matters of the heart. You tell them what they wish to know."

"I love this part." She gushed, smiling almost giddily. "Vampire, I know all about this matter and it is not just your soul that you seek. It is also your life. You do not like being immortal."

"I've been telling people that for a century and you're the first to believe me."

"To answer your question, yes it is possible to fix your soul. But I believe I have a better way of fixing everything. What is your hearts desire, vampire?"

"To become human and live my life with Buffy." Angel answered without hesitation.

"I thought as much. But would you like to keep your vampiric strength were I to make you human?"

"It would be wonderful to be able to fight with her like I did when I was in Sunnydale."

"And Slayer, what is your heart's desire?"

"That's easy. To make Angel realize that we can be together and to live my short life with him."

"Good. But short life? Why do you think your life has to be short?"

"I'm the Slayer. No Slayer has ever reached thirty."

The female looked at her mate. "They have done no research. Perhaps we should pay the Watchers a visit?"

"No. We do not visit lower beings who are not Warriors. It is not done. Continue with your wish granting."

"Very well. Warriors, you have done a great service to our side in the fight against good and evil. And for that, the Powers that Be have deigned it proper to give you an award for that. This gift is not to be taken lightly. Slayer, the night of your seventeenth birthday, you and the vampire conceived a child."

"That's impossible." Buffy and Angel said at the same instant.

"Now listen, it is not. You are the first Slayer to ever become intimate with a vampire of your own free will and that is why your Watcher did not know. But in the instance that a vampire and Slayer mate, the chemistry of the Slayer basically brings the vampire back to life for the duration of intimacy. The vampire is still dead and has no heartbeat, but his body will perform the necessary functions. Including the ejaculation of living sperm."

Angel watched Buffy turn the shade of a tomato at the Oracle's words. He knew that, were he human, his face would match hers. "So you're saying she was pregnant. What happened to the baby?"

The Oracle sighed. "We knew of your loophole and could do nothing to stop it, but a baby would have given Buffy a distinct disadvantage against Angelus. He would have used her condition to torture her and put off his ultimate demise. So, we decided that it would be better if there were no baby at all. The Powers agreed and took the baby from you in a mild fall down your stair case at school. You had a miscarriage, but were never aware of it."

Buffy looked like she was going to cry. Angel reached over and automatically took her hand. "So why tell us this now? There's nothing to be done about it."

"No, there is nothing you can do about it, but there is something I can do about it. Here is what is going to happen. Angel, when you and your Slayer return to your world, your curse will not be an issue. And when you have saved as many lives as your demon has taken, you will become human, and retain all your strength. Buffy, you are to remain with the vampire and when he earns him humanity, your baby will be returned to your body the way it was before you miscarried and you will carry it for nine months, give or take a few weeks, and then give birth. That is all I and the Powers are willing to do. Now you will return to your world, where I will watch in amusement as you explain everything that has gone on here to all your friends." The Oracle paused for a moment. "Oh, and unless you want multiple babies, I suggest that you pick up some protection." She added, making Buffy turn even redder. Angel pulled on her hand and led her back through the doorway to their world. She followed wordlessly.

"What are we going to do?" Buffy asked before they walked through the door.

"What do you want to do?" Angel countered.

"Well, going back to the office and talking everything through seems like a good path to take."

"Then that's what we'll do." Angel agreed leading his love through the door. They found themselves standing in front of Doyle and Cordelia a moment later.

"So, what happened up there? Can they help you? Why are you holding hands? I thought you hated each other." Cordelia rambled, not giving either of them to answer any of her questions before she launched the next one at them.

"Yes, they can help us, and no we don't hate each other. Now, if you'll excuse us, Buffy and I are going to go back to my apartment and talk."

"Does this mean you two are back together? Do I need to call Willow and have her come up here with an Orb of Thesselah? Or is it going to take that long for you to lose your soul? Do I need to revoke your invitation at my apartment?"

Angel took Cordelia by the arm and led her out of hearing distance. "Cordelia, Buffy and I are not back together, though that is the likely outcome of the talk we are going to have. But no you do not have to worry about my soul because it is secure. So, no you do not need to call Willow, and no, you do not need to revoke my invitation at your house unless you've decided that you don't like me anymore. So, do us a favor and feed everyone at the office some story and Buffy and I will go through the basement entrance so we don't have to answer any embarrassing questions tonight."

"You owe me." Cordelia said, grabbing Doyle and dragging him in the direction of the office building. Angel returned to Buffy and again took her hand. They walked in silence toward his apartment, which was located on the basement level. He opened the basement door for her and she slipped through silently. She walked over to his couch and sat down. He sat in a chair across from her and turned on a lamp so they could see easier.

"What are we going to do?" Buffy asked nervously.

"Right now we're going to talk. But before we talk about what the Oracles said, I want to talk about what you said that you thought I didn't hear earlier up in the office. About you making me go away. It was nothing you did that ever made me go away. Let's start with me coming here. I've told you why, but I don't think you really understand. I love you, I always have and I always will. But last year when I left, there was just too much standing in our way. The curse, all your friends, Giles, even your mother. And then there were all the times you almost got yourself killed because of me I was deathly afraid that if I stayed you'd end up dying a whole lot sooner and odds were that you'd die by Angelus's hand. I couldn't stand the thought of killing you."

"You said my mother. What did Mom have to do with anything?"

Angel knew there was no backing out of telling her. "Buffy, the morning we woke up and I almost fried because the curtains got opened, your mother came to visit me. She told me she thought it would be best if I left and that there were some decisions that needed to be made and I had to be the one to make them. She told me that you were just a young girl in love and you couldn't see what was best for yourself. In essence, she helped me decide to leave Sunnydale." Angel explained.

"My mother convinced you to abandon me? That's just wonderful! She is going to get an earful of words she doesn't think I know when I get home."

"Buffy, calm down. She just helped me decide. She didn't talk me into it. But, the other thing you said about making me go away the night we made love, isn't true. You weren't bad. The only way for my soul to leave my body was for me to experience a pure moment of happiness. That doesn't happy very often. And sex wasn't what made me lose my soul. I wasn't exactly abstinent for the past century. When I was with you, everything I had ever done left my mind and for the time we were together my soul was completely at rest and there was no regret or guilt. I was completely happy."

"Really? You aren't just saying that to make me feel better?"

"No. I wouldn't lie to you about something like that."

Buffy laughed bitterly. "I don't know. You've lied about some pretty important stuff."

Angel chose to ignore her barb and switched to another approach. This was his only chance to be with Buffy and he was going to do anything he could to make it turn out the right way. "You do know that now most of my reasons for leaving you are nonissues."

"Are they now? What were they again? I think I was too busy listening to my heart break to pay attention."

"You aren't going to make this easy on me are you?"

"No way. I'm gonna let you sweat it out. And you know me. Even if I weren't still mad at you for the blaming you did the other day, I'd think of something to make this difficult. You had no problem leaving me at the first convenient moment, I think you need to have some level of difficulty proposing that we get back together."

"Oh, and what makes you think that I'm proposing that we get back together?"

Buffy paled a little. "Well, I just assumed that since you're going to be human here before long and we're gonna be having a baby, and since we don't have to worry about Angelus coming out to wreak a little havoc, that you might want to try again. But if you don't, I'll just leave and go back to crying and yelling at Willow for telling me you don't love me. Cause I'm still not over that and she needs to be yelled at some more. I better go do that right now." Buffy said standing and heading for the door, her heart breaking once again.

Angel cursed and followed after her. "Jeez, a guy can't even make a joke." He muttered, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into the room. He turned her around and dipped his head to kiss her solidly on the mouth. She groaned against his cool mouth and his tongue demanded entrance into her mouth. She opened her mouth and their tongues danced in her mouth. His cool hands found their way to the bottom of her shirt and slowly raised the fabric over her head. She allowed him and quickly and efficiently ripped his shirt off of him. He chuckled against her skin and began kissing a path down her neck and throat.

"Angel," Buffy gasped, "If you aren't saying that we should get back together, then I don't think we should be doing this."

Angel stopped kissing her neck for a moment. "Why don't you let me show you how much I want to get back together?" he suggested, bending to pick her up. She giggled as he carried her to the bed and laid her on her back. She pulled him down on top of her and they kissed again. Angel removed her skirt with amazing speed and began to remove her bra--with his teeth. She arched against him and he kissed the milky skin that was slowly being revealed to him. Buffy felt like she was drowning in the sensations rocketing through her at alarming speeds, but she didn't want to stop. And when his mouth closed over one of her aching nipples, she knew that she was lost.

Angel spent nearly an hour reacquainting himself with every contour of her body before he allowed her to remove his clothes and do the same. But she was still nervous and virginal, so he had to guide her a little. She spent a while relearning the planes and crevices of his body as he had hers before she rolled under him and locked her legs around his hips. Angel looked down and saw love and trust in her eyes. He buried his head in her neck and pushed into her, reveling in the feel of her surrounding him. He heard her yearning gasp at his entrance and smiled against her hot skin. Everything was perfect.

Slowly, so he didn't hurt her, Angel began to move within her. She arched beneath him and groaned in pleasure. She hadn't remembered how perfect he felt. How exactly he fit inside her. How wonderful it felt to be joined to him in every way possible, all at once. She met his thrusts with her own and unconsciously, he began to speed up until they were crashing against each other. He held her tightly as she climaxed, his name an endearment on her lips. A moment later, he came also, spilling his seed inside of her and the rolling to the side so his weight didn't crush her.

"Angel?" Buffy whispered, laying her head on his chest.

"Yes, my love?"

"Do us all a favor and be here in the morning." She requested, her lids drooping heavily as she drifted off to sleep.

"Always." Angel promised softly, letting sleep overtake him as well.

Angel woke early the next morning. A glance at the curtain told him it was around seven. Way too early for anyone to be in the office. He looked down at the beauty sleeping in his arms and smiled. She was still exhausted. It had been a year and a half since they had allowed anything between them to go beyond kissing and they had found that once ignited, the passion between them would not die down until, exhausted, they collapsed, only to wake with the same burning desire only a couple hours later. Buffy stirred in her peaceful slumber and he instinctively placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him, relief evident in the green and blue pools.

"You're here." She said, clearing her throat. "I was scared that the Oracles had lied." She admitted, burrowing deeper into his embrace.

"I was too. But they weren't and I still have my soul. How do you feel?"

"Where do you want me to start? Loved, wanted, content, happy, peaceful, I could go on for at least five minutes." Buffy joked, sitting up. She searched among the rumpled sheets and disentangled her clothes from among them.

"Watcha doin'?" Angel asked curiously, kissing the back of her neck.

"Eventually we have to get out of bed and I need a shower."

"What's wrong?" Angel asked, getting serious. "I can feel that something's bothering you."

"It's nothing. Last night was the best night of my life, but we haven't really decided what's going to happen. Soon you're going to be human and nine months after that we're going to have a baby and I don't even know if this is permanent or if it was just a one night thing."

"Buffy, sweetheart, this is not a one night thing. I was actually thinking of this as more of a rest of our life thing."

"Really?" Buffy asked, half afraid to believe what she thought he was saying.

'Really. I'm never going to let you get away from me again. And as for everything else, like college for you and my investigation company, we'll work around it. But, we're going to be together no matter what it takes."

"I'd been hoping that you'd say that. And what about the baby? Are you happy about the baby?"

"I couldn't be happier. It came as a shock, but a good one."

"I'll be big as a house. And I'll be craving things like chocolate dipped pickles and bananas with ketchup." Buffy said matter-of-factly.

"I don't care. You'll be beautiful the entire time and we'll stock up on weird combinations of foods."

"How do you always know what to say?"

"Most of the time I just guess." Angel admitted, tickling her playfully. She squealed and tickled back, not realizing that she'd tried tickling him before and he wasn't ticklish in the slightest. The mock fight ended up with them rolling off the bed, him on top of her and a lot of kissing. Then they heard Cordelia, Xander and Anya come in upstairs and they raced for the shower.

"I think they should learn to be quieter when they have sex." Anya stated bluntly, listening to the moaning coming from downstairs with interest.

"Well, I think we should go get some stakes, cause if they're boinking, which my ears tell me they are, then Angelus'll be paying us a visit before too long." Xander said, reaching into Cordelia's desk drawer for a stake.

"I think that we need to install sound proof walls around his apartment." Cordelia said, bringing a stack of folders into the front office. "Oh, and don't worry about Angelus, Angel's soul is secured."

"Did the Oracles help him?"

"I think so. Otherwise they wouldn't be doing what they are so obviously doing. Now where did I put my radio?" Cordelia mumbled, searching for her portable radio.

"Why do you need the radio?"

"Anya, if a customer comes in, I can't very well tell them that the banging, screaming, and moaning that they're hearing is my boss getting laid. I'd rather tell them that it's special effects on my CD." Cordelia explained patiently. She plugged the radio in and turned it up to cover the sounds reaching them from downstairs. Xander sighed in relief. It was one thing to know what Buffy and Angel were doing in the shower downstairs, it was another thing to know and to hear it.

"When are Doyle, and Wesley getting here?" Anya asked Cordelia.

` "In about ten minutes. I hope those two finish up down there before they get here or else Doyle's liable to go interrupt them. Funny as that would be, I really do not want to hear Angel and Buffy complaining about Doyle walking in on them boinking for years to come."

Exactly ten minutes later, Wesley and Doyle walked in. Wesley had a large stack of book in his arms and Doyle was carrying a box of stakes to replace the ones that had been broken or lost throughout the previous days. They went through about thirty stakes per week on a good week. On a bad week they sometimes went through as many as sixty or seventy.

"Why do you have the stereo up so loud?" Wesley asked, walking back out of his office to turn down the music.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Cordelia warned him.

"Don't do it man." Xander added, covering his ears.

"What they aren't telling with their don't's are that Angel and Buffy are downstairs having sex in the shower."

Xander turned to his girlfriend. "Ahn, do you remember what I said about implying things instead of stating them?" he asked.

"Yes. You said that some things are better left implied and not bluntly said."

"That was one of those things. I think they pretty much got why we didn't want Wesley to turn down the stereo. You didn't need to tell them."

"I don't understand it though. You didn't tell them, Cordelia didn't tell them, they haven't heard anything for themselves, how did they know?"

Xander sighed, "They just do. There's a lot you have yet to learn and tact is one of them. So, just don't say things that you think may be embarrassing to someone. Okay?"

Anya nodded. "I'll try. But, do you think they're almost done down there?"

Everyone in the room sighed. Cordelia turned the radio up louder and walked into the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. Wesley followed her closely. "Cordelia, not to be blunt, but if they are indeed copulating downstairs in Angel's shower, shouldn't we be calling Willow to restore Angel's soul, which he has undoubtedly lost?"

Cordelia smiled at the ex watcher. "They wouldn't be having sex if Angel could lose his soul. Even Buffy isn't that stupid. The Oracles secured his soul and they got back together last night. They have yet to make an appearance and the noises are getting more and more frequent so I highly doubt that they will be coming up for a while."

"Perhaps one of us should alert them to our presence." Wesley suggested, leafing through a book that had been left on the kitchen counter.

"If you want to, be my guest. I'll laugh quite hard when Angel comes out of the shower roaring because you interrupted them."

Wesley sighed again. "Yes, I suppose that you are right. Have there been any calls this morning?"

"No. Unfortunately. I think I'd volunteer to go on a demon slaying mission just to get out of the office for an hour or so. Those noises are driving me insane."

"I see your point. Maybe you would like to accompany me to get donuts for everyone. I highly doubt that anyone has eaten."

"Sure. Let me grab my purse." Cordelia said, disappearing into the other room. She returned and Wesley led her out to his car.

Angel pulled on a sweater and looked over at Buffy, who was wearing a pair of loose jeans and one of his shirts and smiled. For once in his abnormally long life, he was completely content for more than a few hours. They'd heard Wesley's car come and leave again a few minutes later and had decided that they needed to tell the group all that had gone on in the Oracles' chamber the previous night. Buffy looked over at him and held out her hand. He took it and, together, they walked up the stairs.

"Would somebody turn off that racket?!" Angel yelled once they entered the main office. "Somebody's gonna call the cops for disruption of the peace." He said, pulling the plug out of the wall.

"Look, they live. I'm surprised they made it out of Angel's apartment." Xander commented, hoisting himself up onto Cordelia's desk. Cordelia cursed at him and shoved him down. She was trying to work on a case file and he had sit on it. That made her already bad mood worse.

"Well good morning boss man. Glad to see you still know you have a company to run!" Cordelia snapped, going back to work. "Oh, and if you're interested, Kate called and said that your grandchilde is in town."

"Which one?" Angel asked, disappearing into his office for a moment.

"The one and only William the Bloody."

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed, jumping up, "Oh I am so going to stake him! He swore he'd stay away!"

"Spike never was good at keeping promises. But I recommend that you go out tonight and stake him. He butchered a few cops last night from Kate's precinct and she isn't too happy."

"I'm confused. Who is Kate?"

"A cop from downtown who helps us out on some cases." Cordelia explained, Standing to put the file she'd been writing in back in the file cabinet. "And the Anderson's have a demon in their basement. Sounded like a Feariale to me, but I can't be sure. They think that it's a lizard of some sort and I'm not telling them any different. You can do it when you get there. Take Buffy, she can get there faster than you."

"No. Doyle, Wes, get your things, Buffy, you stay here for this one."

"Why? I can do as good a job as they can."

"Not right now. Next time, I promise."

"I could just go and not tell you. Except, that I just told you." Buffy grumbled, sighing in resignation. She sat down beside Cordelia and started reading the new file she had out over her shoulder. Cordelia sighed in annoyance, but chose to say nothing. "And I'm gonna go back to Sunnydale for a few hours today, scream at Willow some more. I'll be back in time for a patrol though."

"I'll go with you." Cordelia said suddenly. "In fact, I'll drive you. I need to talk to Willow myself. And maybe Giles."

"About what?"

"A case I think they may be helpful on. Fred does a good enough job with the witchy stuff, but I think that I may need Willow to help with this one, and Giles still knows more than Wesley does simply because he's older. But in any case, I need to go, and I so don't trust you enough to let you drive."

"Confused again. Who's Fred and why haven't I met him yet? Does he work here to? And I thought guys were warlocks."

"Fred's a girl, sweetie." Angel explained. "Her name is Winifred, but she hates it, so we call her Fred instead. And yes, she works here. She's better on the computer than Cordelia is. And she does a little bit of witchcraft. Not enough to be considered a witch, but enough that she's a help on spells where we need three or four people to complete it."

"I see. Well Cordy, are you ready?"

"Just let me grab my purse and we'll go." Cordelia said, hurrying into the other room. She came back with her purse slung over one shoulder and keys dangling from her fingers. She twirled them a few times, waved, grabbed Buffy before she could get to Angel to kiss him, and dragged her out the front door.

"What was that about?"

"Didn't want to witness lengthy PDA's. Anyway, I think you're smart enough to know that I really don't need to talk to Will and Giles."

"Of course. What do you want to talk to me alone about?" Buffy asked, buckling her seat belt. Cordelia backed out of the driveway and got onto the highway heading toward Sunnydale before she answered.

"Buffy, we were never friends. But since you saved the world and me a couple times, I do respect you. But I lost most of that respect when you came in screaming at Angel for running back to Sunnydale simply because you were in danger. He said some things that were wrong, but you started it. And had you not come in screaming and yelling, none of that would have happened. Had you walked in calmly and talked it out without Angel, I would totally be on your side in this whole thing. But you didn't, so I side with Angel. He is my friend and my boss and I won't lie to you. I did, at one time think I might have been in love with Angel. So believe me when I say that I care about him in more ways than you can know. And I swear to God, if you hurt him one more time, Slayer or not, I will kill you. He was broody for months after you left, and I don't want to drag him off the roof at five thirty in the morning to keep him from greeting the sunrise anymore. Got it?"

Buffy didn't answer. "Cordy?" she finally said softly.

"What?"

"Why weren't we ever friends? I can't remember. I just know we didn't like each other."

"I picked on Willow and you didn't like it. And I thought that you were a nerd. And in my defense, you really were for a while. Hostile and unfriendly."

"Oh well. And I won't do anything to hurt Angel. I love him too much. And besides, I don't think he'd let me leave him now anymore."

"Why not? I would have been glad to get rid of you after some of the things you pulled during the last three years."

"We're having a baby."

Cordelia slammed on the brakes, nearly caused a wreck in the middle of the highway, and finally made it off the highway safely. "Explain please. How in Hell can the two of you be having a baby? Especially when he's a vampire. He shoots blanks. Remember?"

Buffy chuckled. "Not when he's with a Slayer. When a vampire is with a Slayer, for the time they are intimate, the vampire has working parts. Namely the very important part necessary to shoot anything, let alone blanks."

"Okay, I've seen stranger, so I'll buy that. But how do you know you're pregnant from last night?"

"Not last night. And least, I don't think so. God that would be weird. But anyway, the night Angel and I made love for the first time, I got pregnant. The Powers that Be decided that a baby would give me a disadvantage against Angelus, other than him being Angel, and made me have a miscarriage. They decided that when Angel turns human, they're going to make me get pregnant, I'm not quite sure how, and I'll have a baby nine months later."

"Hold on. Angel's turning human? Since when? And how? And why didn't he tell me? Oh, I am so going to kick his vampiric ass when I get home! How could he not tell me something so important?!"

"Cordy, calm down. He found out last night. The Oracles said that when he makes amends for all the crimes he committed, the Powers are going to turn him human."

"That's great! He must be so happy. But I still don't get why he didn't tell me when you two came back from seeing the Oracles last night."

"We don't know when it'll happen. His demon killed thousands of people."

"I think saving the world should count. There's six billion people on this planet and he saved every one of them. More than once."

"Did you forget that Angelus nearly succeeded in sending that same six billion people to Hell?"

"True. Okay, I don't want to have to save the world again, so I'm gonna say that he can stake a couple thousand vamps and the Powers call it even."

"He should be pretty close. And the Oracles said something about me not dying anytime soon. I need to ask Giles about that too. I can't figure it out."

"That would probably be smart. If you're going to outlive the Slayer life span, I think we should know why."

"Especially when I suck at being the Slayer. I disobey rules, I fell in love with a vampire, I've let more than one vampire live out of the goodness of my heart simply to save aforementioned vampire that I happen to be in love with and I purposely disregard all attempts made by the council to control me."

"And you've lived four years, which is a very long time for a Slayer to live after having been called and you have staked more vampires in those four years than twenty Slayers did in all their years combined. So, you deserve to get more time to live than them. I mean, you may have no fashion sense and your hair may look like crap, but you have saved the world more than any other Slayer, so the way I see it, the Powers owe you."

"I think I might actually be starting to like you Cordelia. That was the first nice thing that you have said to me since you wanted me to go to that frat party with you when we were juniors. And this time I don't think you want anything in return for the compliment."

Cordelia smiled and pulled back out onto the road. "Just don't hurt him." She said softly. "He's the only one who really cared about me because of who I am."

"What? You had tons o friends in high school."

"Yeah, and none of them made one bit of effort to get to know me. They liked my money. And when that went away, so did they. You guys actually liked me. Not all the time, but when I wasn't being a bitch, you really cared about me. And if you tell anyone about this, I swear I will kill you. But you can never imagine how much that meant to me. I mean, yeah, Xander cheated on me with Willow and you nearly got me killed on several occasions, but when it came down to it, you, Xander, and Willow were the only true friends I ever had. Until I met Angel here in LA. He took me in, gave me a home, a job and became my real family. He cared about me no matter what kind of mood I was in. He didn't like me because I was dating his best friend, or because I had lots of money, but because I'm me."

Buffy nodded. "He's like that. He can see the good in everyone but himself." She said, understanding in her voice.

"Who would have thought that we'd be sitting here, driving to Sunnydale and having a civil conversation about a vampire?" Cordelia asked, good humor in her voice.

"Certainly not anyone who went to high school with us. They'd probably have laughed if someone had told them we'd be getting along when the world isn't in great danger."

"Probably. Do you mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Go ahead. I don't care."

The rest of the drive to Sunnydale was quiet. The two women said little, and what they did say wasn't anything important. They were only in Sunnydale a couple hours, and in that time Willow and Buffy had another explosive yelling match and Buffy ended up packing a small duffel bag and leaving the campus. Giles was more understanding, but still a little upset. By the time Cordelia pulled into Angel Investigations, it was three in the afternoon and Buffy felt like it should be eight.

"How was your day?" Angel asked when Buffy came through the door. Buffy shook her head signaling that she'd rather not talk about it. Angel nodded in understanding and Doyle came out of the kitchen with several sandwiches and a few bags of chips.

"I brought lunch. I hop you guys like ham and cheese." He said, setting the plate on the table. Everyone nodded and reached for the food. Buffy took the one Angel handed her and took a bite. But her teeth didn't go through the bread and meat underneath. They bit into something hard, that hurt her, but didn't seem to move whatever it was that she had bitten into.

"What's this?" Buffy asked suspiciously, lifting one piece of the bread. "Are you guys trying to poison me or something?"

"See what it is." Angel encouraged. Buffy found a platinum and diamond ring in the middle of her sandwich. Her gaze automatically snapped to Angel.

"Angel?" she asked softly, looking at him with confusion and a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Buffy Anne Summers, I love you. And I would like nothing better than to spend the rest of my, significantly shorter than yesterday, life waking up next to you. Will you marry me?" he asked, taking her hand in his. An eerie hush had fallen upon the group as they waited for Buffy to answer.

"Yes." She said, her voice strong. Angel grabbed her in a bear hug and then gasped. He felt an awful pain go through his chest and he dropped to his knees, the pain too great for him to remain on his feet any longer. Buffy went with him, worried, and gently laid him on the ground, leaning over him, trying to figure out what was wrong. Soon, the pain subsided and Angel took a deep breath. His first real breath in nearly two hundred years.

Okay, I know cliffhanger! But not really. There is more to come, so people who liked this, fear not. I am looking for a beta reader, and maybe someone to do some collaborative stories with, so if you're interested, let me know in a review, or Email me at sirena192005@yahoo.com. Hope you enjoyed!