Chapter 4- Our little secret
"All right which one of you did it?" Hermione fumed.
"Did what?" Ron asked baffled.
"Gee I thought after six years of school together you two could be just a little more mature by now" she said practically enraged.
"By now? I'm not mature and proud of it! –Hermione snickered-
"What do you think we've done?" Ron asked again.
"Oh very funny, lets steal her books. See what she's been reading about and then make fun just because you wouldn't expect her to glance at a book about-"
"Hermione, calm down" Harry said soothingly. "What book have you lost?"
"It was just a book a picked from the library for a bit of light reading, And I didn't lose it! I had it with me as far as I can remember. I never put it down", she said worryingly.
"Why are you so worked up about this book anyway? It's just a book" Ron said.
"I just… don't' want to err be responsible.. for losing a library book" she stammered.
"It's just one library book Hermione. I'm sure they'll let it go. It's not like you go around losing them on a regular basis" Ron said composedly.
"This was a different book. If it should fall into someone else's hands it could be- well it wouldn't be very… good"
"Was that the one you were reading at dinner last night?"
"Yes"
"It didn't look that bad from where I was standing"
Yeah from where YOU were standing- Hermione thought.
Hermione rummaged through her bag once again but all she found were her Arithmancy, potions and charms books. Plus two transfiguration books.???
"Don't worry about it! I'll search for it after class. Come on or we'll be late for Transfiguration"
The three of them got up from the table- except Ron who was finishing the few crumbs left on his plate from lunch- and they all headed to their class.
As they walked out Harry spotted Elisabeth. They both looked at each other and blushed. They hadn't talked since their 'detention', she had gone straight to bed. Harry had stayed in the common room playing a few games of wizards' chess with Ron- Hermione keeping a close eye on Ron – though she hid it by trying to put her head in her book as if she was immensely fascinated by it.
That was another thing! What he would've given to walk with Elisabeth. The sexual tension between Ron and Hermione these days was tighter than ever. They both like each other (DUH!) but both we're to stubborn to actually do something about it. And this had Harry having to make awkward conversation at times.
When they were in the class room Harry immediately took a seat next to Elisabeth, she smiled and made room for him- much to Ron's dislike(he didn't want to sit by himself with Hermione- being stubborn he didn't want it to look like he liked her-like that)
It's for both our good, Harry thought to himself. But Ron soon got over it. Thinking back to an earlier conversation with Hermione- I'm her favorite twat.
The lesson ran through quite smoothly. They all managed to turn their cauldron's into candy dishes with sweets inside. Though Neville's sweets were black and tasted oddly like cauldron.
"Please open your text books" Professor Mcgonagall addressed the class.
All of the students opened their books- but one student got quite a surprise when they opened what they thought was their Transfiguration book. Most of the class burst into fits of laughter. Most except for Hermione and Joanne.
"Ah.. Ms Higgins. Is there a problem with your book?"
Moaning and groaning came from Joanne's book. (and it wasn't moaning from pain)
As soon as Joanne had opened the book it had made noises.
"OH yes! More more !" The book started screaming, "YES , ALMOST!!! OH GOD YES!!!OH FUC-"
Joanne slammed the book shut.
"No Professor Mcgonagall, the book is very old. It sometimes makes err sounds." Joanne said going red. And so was Hermione, which nobody noticed.
As soon as Professor Mcgonagall had gotten the classes attention again she continued her lesson.
Joanne picked up the book. She looked at the inscription on the front. A wizards' Guide to Karma Sutura he read. OH SHIT!
"Ah. Ms Higgins perhaps since you are so good at captivating the class maybe you could read chapter 7 out loud for us" Professor Mcgonagall asked.
Joanne searched furiously through her bag and around the desk in hope she would find her real transfiguration book. No luck. I must've dropped it somewhere - she thought.
"Ms Higgins Chapter 7, now" Mcgonagall asked in an annoyed tone.
"Professor, I think you should ask someone else to read"
"But I have asked you" she replied in an angered polite way.
"Yes but you see the thing is I don't' well I cant I well-"
"Ms Higgins you have been very intent on distracting my class today- unless you wish to receive a detention you will read chapter 7. NOW!"
"Ummm. Yes Professor" There was no getting out of it. She slowly opened the book- but this time it didn't make any noise. Well that's a good sign. She opened the book to chapter 7 and proceeded on reading.
"Fore play and the use of Sexual enhancing equipment. There are many spells that can be used to enhance sexual activity. Summoning spells are commonly used to summon what instruments you may already own such as leather products i.e. whips, costumes etc."(she held up the picture of a someone using a whip on someone-they were making painful but pleasurable noises) "There are however other spells that are simpler but effective. The horny spell is used to put people into a state of sexual urge making them extremely in need of sex. Simple chant Hornios and your partner will be in the mood.
If you'll look to figure 1.3 you will see the effects of the Horny spell." She held up the picture to the class. Ron turned his head sideways.
Joanne stopped reading and placed the book on the desk.
The entire class was now howling with laughter- (you'd think they'd be a bit more mature by now!) Joanne slid right down her chair. She was so embarrassed. But hey it had been a bit funny.
"Ms Higgins," Professor Mcgonagall started, looking quite flushed. " I suggest you leave those kinds of books for you own personal time. And next time bring your TRANSFIGURATION book to my lessons."
She dismissed the class and they all piled out of the room- almost having to hold each other up- for being in stitches of laughter.
They were quoting parts of what Joanne had read-
"I'm so in touch with my sexual energy now" Dean laughed.
"I guess it's time to dust off the old leather products now that I know they are sexual enhancing equipment" Seamus joked. And others just began trying to use the Horny spell on each other- which didn't work to its full extent it just had people becoming quite flushed and breathing more heavily for a few seconds.
Joanne waited until everyone was gone before leaving herself. But someone else was waiting for her.
"I think I've got something that belongs to you" came a weak voice.
"Huh" Joanne turned around.
"
I've got your transfiguration book", Hermione answered.
"How did you- Are you trying to play some kind of practical joke on me?" Joanne asked irritated.
"No. Last night at the library, when I dropped my books I must have accidentally picked up one of yours." She handed Joanne her REAL transfiguration book.
"So I guess this is yours" she gave Hermione the Karma Sutura book- weird expression on her face.
Hermione quickly took it from her.
"No it's not mine, you see I found it amongst some other books I picked up a few weeks ago. When we had that potions assignment to do I asked Professor Snape what books would be the most useful. He wasn't too helpful in his advice so I asked if I could borrow some of his own books that he had down in his office. He was reluctant at first but then he handed me a whopping great pile of them. Well I was reading through them and I found this book along with the others."
"What have you been doing with it?" Joanne raised her eyebrows.
"I started reading it and it was really interesting… NOT that I'm into that sort of thing. I mean I was going to return it though."
"I see" – I'm sure expression on face.
"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about it being my book. I know everyone thinks it's your book but you can tell them that it was just misplaced at the library or something- I'll back you up."
"All right"
"Thanks" She replied gratefully.
"It'll just be our little secret then"