Year of the Panther
Chapter 8: What now?
By Mongoose
*********************
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's
by. It's called "Fluke"
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!
Now finally…the fic!
Note: Okay, here it is, the next part. And wait, before anyone complains about how short it is I'll have you know I'm still quite sick as I type this. Be grateful minna. Plus there IS a reason (several actually) they're always so damn short. Reason is that when I wrote it I'd write a little bit before I went to bed each night, and as I am unable to retain my train of thought for more then a few hours, I have to end the chapters when I go to sleep. The second reason is that I'm a slow typer and my hand gets sore fairly quickly when I type, so I have to do it in short periods or not at all. And third, I have zero time to type, so that when I do get something done, no matter how short, I put it up right away. It's either that or wait a month instead of a week for there to be more of it.
I will, however, put three parts into one part when it's all done, just for you.
And now, on with the story….
**************************
[Heero]
It was almost afternoon when I got back to the house. I'd left the door open the night before and probably hadn't bothered to close the back one either.
Anyway, in the doorway, sat my hallucination. It looked like it had been expecting me, which made sense, I guess. If it was a product of my mind of course it would know when I was coming home. It made what could have been a smile, but on second thought it was just the beast panting.
I glared at it and the panther abruptly closed it's mouth.
Then I did something very stupid. I walked forward and reached out the touch the large feline. But I had to know if it was real. Had to know that I wasn't loosing my mind, had to be sure. And I wanted to… touch it.
My hand came in contact with thick silky fur. I, fascinated, rubbed my fingers threw it. Then a low rumble started to resonate from the creature. It was so low it vibrated threw my hand. It was purring, I realized. I couldn't believe it. I guess I just didn't picture cats this big purring. But this one was. It leaded into my hand, seeking more…pets? I was petting a panther. A beast twice my weight with teeth that could crush bone, and I was petting it. Perhaps this creature was real, but I was still out of my mind.
The beast looked up at me with startling bright violet eyes. It hurt to look into them, they were so bight….
/Duo had eyes like those…they were violet. Bight and so beautiful it hurt o look at them…../ I had to stop thinking of Duo /Then what? Forget him? No! Never! I couldn't…/
I went inside to get something to eat even though I wasn't hungry; I just knew I should anyway. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Duo in the back of my mind was telling me it wasn't healthy not to eat for two days. Just as I was about to step over the panther (that should have bitten my hand off) that was lounging in the doorway, it moved aside. It followed me into the kitchen and into the pantry. I got out some frozen fish from the frig to warm up in the stove, and it followed me there too. When dinner/lunch was done it was dark out. Spring was still not fully in bloom and the days were still short.
I had made too much, since I'm used to cooking for two. I set it all down on the little coffee table in the living room and went outside to get some fire wood (Duo had insisted on having a fireplace, said it reminded him of "old times", but I never knew what he meant). Winter was still fighting the good fight, so it was still cold out.
When I'd gotten a small fire going I pulled the arm chair up to the coffee table and sat down to think what to do.
I was surprised to find the panther sitting a top Duo's favorite purple cushion at my feet, licking its chops.
I quickly glanced down at my food. More than half of it was gone. I shook my head, but I really didn't' mind. I wouldn't have eaten it all anyway.
Now, what to do? I couldn't stay here, that was for sure. I'd never deal with Duo's…death…not with his memory all over this house…haunting me. /So should I move? I guess. Who did I know that I could stay with?..../ I thought for a moment /Quatre!/ Of course, how could I forget him so quickly, I thought guiltily. He was one of my oldest and most trusted friends, though few knew it. Perhaps he could help me deal with my grief too. He'd helped me before; perhaps he'd be kind enough to help me again, though I didn't disserve it. His Unchu no kokoro (1) and his intuition often detected emotions in me that I didn't even know I had, much less understand and know what to do with. We had been good friends during the war. I could always talk to him about stuff I didn't understand. Hell, it was he who first got me and Duo together. He recognized my feelings towards him and pestered me until I confessed them. Damn annoying at the time but I've never been more grateful to anyone else in the end. I idly wondered if Duo would be dead now if that had never happened, if we'd never become lovers. But that wasn't what happened, so there was no point in thinking about it.
I reached down and scratched the huge feline behind the ear, I don't know why. I just did. It purred that deep MS motor purr again and leaned it's head against my leg. I just sat there, scratching it and listening to it purr, as I stared into the flames for a long time.
Yes, I could go to Quatre's and everything would be alright. I could stay at one of his mansions for a while, get a job, an apartment /a life/…/and just live/…/live a life without Duo/…/what is life without Duo?/.../ I don't know/…/Duo, I miss you./
And that's the last coherent thought I had as I drifted into weary sleep on the over stuffed armchair in my living room. The panther continued to purr at my feet.
**********
-End part 8
1. Unchu no kokoro means space heart. It's Quatre's weird power. Like when Heero self-destructed and Quatre was moaning as if it hurt him, that sort of thing.
I typed this really fast so if you see some mistakes please email my at demonangel600@comcast.net
Chapter 8: What now?
By Mongoose
*********************
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's
by. It's called "Fluke"
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!
Now finally…the fic!
Note: Okay, here it is, the next part. And wait, before anyone complains about how short it is I'll have you know I'm still quite sick as I type this. Be grateful minna. Plus there IS a reason (several actually) they're always so damn short. Reason is that when I wrote it I'd write a little bit before I went to bed each night, and as I am unable to retain my train of thought for more then a few hours, I have to end the chapters when I go to sleep. The second reason is that I'm a slow typer and my hand gets sore fairly quickly when I type, so I have to do it in short periods or not at all. And third, I have zero time to type, so that when I do get something done, no matter how short, I put it up right away. It's either that or wait a month instead of a week for there to be more of it.
I will, however, put three parts into one part when it's all done, just for you.
And now, on with the story….
**************************
[Heero]
It was almost afternoon when I got back to the house. I'd left the door open the night before and probably hadn't bothered to close the back one either.
Anyway, in the doorway, sat my hallucination. It looked like it had been expecting me, which made sense, I guess. If it was a product of my mind of course it would know when I was coming home. It made what could have been a smile, but on second thought it was just the beast panting.
I glared at it and the panther abruptly closed it's mouth.
Then I did something very stupid. I walked forward and reached out the touch the large feline. But I had to know if it was real. Had to know that I wasn't loosing my mind, had to be sure. And I wanted to… touch it.
My hand came in contact with thick silky fur. I, fascinated, rubbed my fingers threw it. Then a low rumble started to resonate from the creature. It was so low it vibrated threw my hand. It was purring, I realized. I couldn't believe it. I guess I just didn't picture cats this big purring. But this one was. It leaded into my hand, seeking more…pets? I was petting a panther. A beast twice my weight with teeth that could crush bone, and I was petting it. Perhaps this creature was real, but I was still out of my mind.
The beast looked up at me with startling bright violet eyes. It hurt to look into them, they were so bight….
/Duo had eyes like those…they were violet. Bight and so beautiful it hurt o look at them…../ I had to stop thinking of Duo /Then what? Forget him? No! Never! I couldn't…/
I went inside to get something to eat even though I wasn't hungry; I just knew I should anyway. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Duo in the back of my mind was telling me it wasn't healthy not to eat for two days. Just as I was about to step over the panther (that should have bitten my hand off) that was lounging in the doorway, it moved aside. It followed me into the kitchen and into the pantry. I got out some frozen fish from the frig to warm up in the stove, and it followed me there too. When dinner/lunch was done it was dark out. Spring was still not fully in bloom and the days were still short.
I had made too much, since I'm used to cooking for two. I set it all down on the little coffee table in the living room and went outside to get some fire wood (Duo had insisted on having a fireplace, said it reminded him of "old times", but I never knew what he meant). Winter was still fighting the good fight, so it was still cold out.
When I'd gotten a small fire going I pulled the arm chair up to the coffee table and sat down to think what to do.
I was surprised to find the panther sitting a top Duo's favorite purple cushion at my feet, licking its chops.
I quickly glanced down at my food. More than half of it was gone. I shook my head, but I really didn't' mind. I wouldn't have eaten it all anyway.
Now, what to do? I couldn't stay here, that was for sure. I'd never deal with Duo's…death…not with his memory all over this house…haunting me. /So should I move? I guess. Who did I know that I could stay with?..../ I thought for a moment /Quatre!/ Of course, how could I forget him so quickly, I thought guiltily. He was one of my oldest and most trusted friends, though few knew it. Perhaps he could help me deal with my grief too. He'd helped me before; perhaps he'd be kind enough to help me again, though I didn't disserve it. His Unchu no kokoro (1) and his intuition often detected emotions in me that I didn't even know I had, much less understand and know what to do with. We had been good friends during the war. I could always talk to him about stuff I didn't understand. Hell, it was he who first got me and Duo together. He recognized my feelings towards him and pestered me until I confessed them. Damn annoying at the time but I've never been more grateful to anyone else in the end. I idly wondered if Duo would be dead now if that had never happened, if we'd never become lovers. But that wasn't what happened, so there was no point in thinking about it.
I reached down and scratched the huge feline behind the ear, I don't know why. I just did. It purred that deep MS motor purr again and leaned it's head against my leg. I just sat there, scratching it and listening to it purr, as I stared into the flames for a long time.
Yes, I could go to Quatre's and everything would be alright. I could stay at one of his mansions for a while, get a job, an apartment /a life/…/and just live/…/live a life without Duo/…/what is life without Duo?/.../ I don't know/…/Duo, I miss you./
And that's the last coherent thought I had as I drifted into weary sleep on the over stuffed armchair in my living room. The panther continued to purr at my feet.
**********
-End part 8
1. Unchu no kokoro means space heart. It's Quatre's weird power. Like when Heero self-destructed and Quatre was moaning as if it hurt him, that sort of thing.
I typed this really fast so if you see some mistakes please email my at demonangel600@comcast.net