I knew I was just heartbeats from making it all end. Leticia and I could corner Michelle Dessler and if we couldn't there were five guys behind me who could help me out just as well. No matter what was on that spider she wasn't getting anywhere with it. I was quite sure of this fact as I took up a defensive position on the concourse in case Michelle tried to double back. Where was she? It couldn't take that long unless she'd spotted one of our team members … I hate this clandestine stuff.
"Leticia," I hissed quietly.
"Coming up," she said quickly. "Almost there."
"Vaughn."
"Got her covered."
"Right." I continued to scan the crowd and not think of how people could be hurt or killed if I did something incredibly stupid right then. That's my big hangup as a field agent. I spend too much time worrying about the possible. In a room I can execute a given order without worry. But when the results can look you right in the face it's a dangerous thing. I blinked away any harmful thoughts as soon as I came within sight of Leticia and slipped into the crowd a distance back from her. I was able to see Vaughn moving in my direction. Weiss had already made it up ahead.
I couldn't see Michelle but obviously she hadn't spotted anyone yet. I wanted to wait to make any move until I could get out of this group of people and into the clear of the terminal. Finally we made it into the massive cavernous section of the airport and people began to fan out, to peel off. I needed just a few more seconds…
"Now. Take her out."
Vaughn passed me by and Weiss started forward at the same time Leticia put her shoulder into Michelle's back. Both women went down with a loud crunch on the tile floor, and Leticia acted on well trained instincts (my kudos to Vaughn and Weiss for that). Kneeling on Michelle's back she handcuffed her and then pulled her up. I jogged forward as we all converged, holding the compliments on my tongue until I was absolutely sure this was done with.
Unfortunately for me the woman Leticia had in custody was not Michelle Dessler.
She could have been. They looked like they were related, but this was not Michelle. There was a different kind of fear in this young woman's eyes that said she didn't recognize me at all, which she should have if she had handled my security work as often as she had. I was racking Michelle's file in my head as I said, "Where's Michelle and who are you?"
"I'm her sister. Heather." The woman was out of breath. "She said you'd come."
Great. Her family was complicit. Right. I put my hand to my earpiece, told anyone listening to phone CTU and say we didn't have her even as I looked over and saw Steve and Kevin approaching. "I work with your sister," I continued, "and we need to find her now. Where is she, Heather?"
"You're going to find her like this?" Her skepticism bordered on hostility and I knew I had to bring her back.
I exhaled, choosing my words carefully. "She disappeared from CTU," I said, "and she has a vital piece of technology that she stole from the Agency. I need that back, and I need to know she's okay. If she's in trouble, if something has happened to it or to her, there could be a lot of trouble for more than just your sister. I understand we're being drastic, but we're working on borrowed time. Heather, I need you to tell me where Michelle is."
Pause.
"She's on her way to Long Beach. We have family there."
"Great. Thank you." I nodded to Leticia to uncuff our non-suspect and she did. "Now I'm going to give you a choice," I said, realizing how I sounded like Jack, "I can let you go, or you can come with us. I have to ask you, however, that you not notify your sister that we're coming. If we lose her again we might not find her. Do you understand?"
Heather nodded.
"I'll give you a moment to think about it. Leticia, hang out, okay?" I said, leaving my best friend to watch our best hope as I turned and walked right into Kevin and Steve. I quickly explained what had just been said to them. "Have Lex start pulling information out of her personnel file, and prepare a plan," I said. "I'm going to run to the bathroom and wash up, I'll be right back, and then we leave immediately."
As I started to walk away, Steve called after me. "Nice work."
"We're not done yet," I said, and kept walking. Another detriment of mine is my ability to get endlessly and permanently frustrated. If I didn't have Jack, who is the ultimate boss, friend and mentor and the perfect shoulder to lean on and hand to lift me up, I would probably be quite screwed up in the head right now. It's never as easy as I think it should be.
I spent a few minutes trying to locate the bathroom, then slipped inside and washed up. That didn't do much for the sleep deprivation lines under my eyes, but at least it got me feeling a little better and the cold water kind of woke me up a bit. Determined to do better than before I stepped out of the bathroom and leaned against a pylon, buying my team time and trying to figure out our next move. How Jack could rest so much on me so faithfully I really don't ever know.
*So when I feel like running I have to look inside
I want to find the answers
I want to break my life*
Knowing the team would take care of everything, I decided to take a trip around the corner. I'm not sure if that was the smartest or stupidest thing I've ever done.
As soon as I rounded the corner he was there and I was forced to look into his eyes again. Here he was, the man that had displaced my harmless Jack Davenport fantasies, flesh and blood and heart and soul. He was still wounded but brave, sensitive and sympathetic, with a hurt charisma that had drawn me to him in a way I never expected. He looked at me, into me, through me, and managed a small smile. I guess that's the best we could do considering the way we left it.
That's how my universe spun for what seemed like forever but had only been a month: there was God and everybody, and then there's Michael Colefield.
*Take me as I am
I'm not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know that I'm still learning
How to love again and stop hurting*
"You're not supposed to be here, Michael," I said, the only sentence I could get out.
"The flight was early." His voice was soft, suffering. "I overheard airport security. Thought it might be you. I was … I was hoping, actually."
"I have a job to do," I said, feeling like I'd start crying over him if I stood there much longer. "I can't do this," I finally got out, turning away from him before he could hurt me any more than he already had.
"Can't do what?" he said, but I did not turn around.
"I can't handle being with you." I was not ashamed to admit this. "You hurt me, Michael. You're the only one who's ever hurt me, because I loved you. And I won't go through it again."
I started walking away. I've done a lot more walking away of recent.
*I need to find forgiveness when all the pain is done
I want to hear 'I'm sorry,' I want to let you go
I have to find my own life, I want to learn to grow*
"You're just going to leave it like this then?" he said after me.
I pivoted on my heel. "Give me a reason to leave it another way." My voice was getting hard around the edges. I was having flashbacks back to the nights I'd sat on Leticia's bed and cried for hours about how all I could do was fall in love and get brutalized for it. And those didn't make me diplomatic.
"I didn't come out here to hurt you, Brittany." His voice found its level. "That was never my intention."
"Then what?" I felt water pressing behind my eyes.
"I'm here because something inside me told me I had to be." Michael was trying to make eye contact with me, and I avoided it by looking away. I knew as soon as I met those eyes with their perpetual determined light, I would do anything, and I just couldn't be that selfless anymore. "You talked about trusting the soul and that's exactly what I did. Now if there's something going on today, I want to be right there with you."
"Until you leave again," I said.
He fell silent. I thought I was going to lose it. "Do what you want," I choked out. "I can't stop you."
*Take me as I am
I'm not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know that I'm still learning
How to love again and stop hurting*
Michael followed me back across the way where everyone was still waiting. I didn't bother to say a word about him being there, but I saw the uneasiness on Leticia's face, the well hidden abrasions in Lex's eyes, and the open hostility on Weiss's face that said he was just waiting for the right moment.
"Heather won't be coming with us," Steve said in the silence.
I nodded. "That's fine. Thank you, Ms. Dessler. I'll keep you informed." Then I surveyed the rest of the group. "Let's get out there."
Silently, we all exited the terminal and headed down the escalator toward where Chris was supposed to be bringing the van around. I took a long, deep breath like I knew it would be my last. Our work was not done, and I wondered if it ever quite would be done. That brought up annoying theoreticals I could not consider now. Leading my field team, I tried to protect them from the storm I felt coming.
Behind me, Weiss shot a cold glare in Michael's direction, and said in a completely merciless tone, "If you screw her around again, I'll kill you."
He'd found his moment. We just had to find ours, and I'd be damned if Michael Colefield or anyone or anything else was going to keep us from what we knew was left ahead of us. Everything we do matters, including what we haven't done yet, and it was time to get it done.